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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25273786">Six Years and a Day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/livinginthetheater/pseuds/livinginthetheater'>livinginthetheater</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, because i love these oblivious in love boys, but it picks up where s15 just left off, it is destiel, it's background sometimes but still really cute, kind of slow burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:22:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>138,588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25273786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/livinginthetheater/pseuds/livinginthetheater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck is destroying every world he created to leave only the one with our favorite Winchesters, but them and their angel aren't the only ones who defied his plan.</p><p>Dean is left to die in one of Chuck's many alternate universes, but for some reason he's killing it slowly. Sam and Castiel panic wondering where the hell he went, and Dean befriends a monster that has seemingly come back to haunt him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He felt a rush of energy through his body, every bone and muscle being wrapped in light as he stepped onto the cold hard floors of his bunker once more.</p><p>He looked around as if unsure if where he entered was even real. But it looked the same as it had when he left it six years ago.</p><p>An overwhelming sense of relief and exhaustion knotting together in his stomach and lungs knocked him to the ground, as he slowly fell onto his knees.</p><p>He gently reached his face, stretching it and feeling it. It lacked a wrinkle or two, and some unkempt facial hair was now back to being mostly shaven. He both desperately needed and morosely feared a mirror at the current moment.</p><p>He was vaguely aware of the three companions that had come here with him, by his side as they had been for the last six years. A familiar and sturdy arm reached through the numbness as it wrapped around his shoulders supportively and carried with it that relief and exhaustion that had knocked him to the ground in the first place. With one hand, he grabbed onto the hand and wrist of the arm around him, trying to ease the concern that came with it.</p><p>Dean honestly wasn't sure if everything was fixed now. He wasn't sure anything in his life could be considered "fixed," but they had all just come out the other side of the most challenging task of their lives.</p><p>"Dean? Is this… is this the place?" A boy, who hadn't been a boy for years now, spoke from a few feet behind him. Dean's immediate collapse to the ground should have been proof enough. Still, he sympathized with the question's intentions because he knew better than to ever assume something had gone well for them.</p><p>The arm around his shoulders only grew tighter. Dean could feel the tears he was fighting slip out of the corners of his eyes as he felt the body the arm belonged to, now also on the ground, press against him.  The body was now wrapping a second arm around his chest, meeting the other hands on Dean's shoulder, both his own and the one put there before.</p><p>For the first time in a while, Dean remembered how he felt being held, hugged, and crying. He used to be embarrassed. Perhaps it was being in this bunker again that reminded him of that. But he had gone through so much, especially with these three people, that grief and affection weren't suspicious, feared, or unwanted anymore.</p><p>He sniffed loudly, letting out a laugh at both how pitiful the sound was and how overjoyed he felt. "Yeah, Kevin. This is… I'm home. This is my home." The words felt strange on his tongue.</p><p>It was so… strange. Dean felt like a child on their birthday, having waited for days in excitement and anticipation. When it was really there, they felt so excited, and yet it almost felt unreal. Perhaps as a result of having waited for so long for it to finally come.</p><p>He felt a hand on his shoulder, more on his back, inches beneath where his hand was sandwiched between the two of the figures hugging him. The fingers were smaller and slender, just as familiar as the ones digging into his bones above it. Her touch was all-too reminiscent of the concept of winning a battle.</p><p>He felt another hand just above where his knee sat on the ground and looked up from the fixed point on the floor he had settled his vision on to meet Kevin, the third figure to reach the floor with him.</p><p>The four of them just sat there for a moment, unmoving and not speaking a word. They didn't need to, not really. They hadn't needed words to communicate for a while now. That's what came when you fought by someone's side, lived with them, and watched mutual friends die with them. A new language, one not needing the ability to hear or speak, or even see. Just to feel his consistently optimistic young friend's hand above his knee, the gentle hand of the woman he'd trained and fought beside since she was still just a kid. The full embrace of the man who he had fought beside, led armies beside, and trusted as his closest friend, confidant, and family for six years. It felt right and kind, and sweet.</p><p>Was "sweet" the word? Most definitely.</p><p>They had made it. They hadn't just survived; they won. They hadn't fled; they made it out. And now, Dean had two people he had missed more than anything for six years within reach very soon.</p><p>He finally stood, and all of the hands and arms untangled themselves from around him. "How close did we get?" He inquired the man next to him as his arms returned to his side.</p><p>He had seen so much of this man, of all three of his friends, over the last years. He had memorized everything about each one of them. Kevin's every new scar, the girl's inch she gained every year, and perhaps most interestingly, the blonde man's lack of change beside him. A man he'd never expected to be friends with, let alone become so fiercely loyal to and protective of. He still had the stony, rough features of the vessel Dean had seen so much of, farther back than just the six years since he met this version of him. He still had the understanding and wiseness of the angelic being lying powerfully beneath the human skin who had been around longer than any being left free in the world. He looked around the bunker as well. It was a place he'd never been in before, but he was almost as grateful as the hunter himself to be there now. </p><p>"Exactly twenty-four hours after you left."</p><p>Twenty four hours. Dean had been gone for six years, but he had only been gone for twenty-four hours. His breath that followed was anything but silent, it shook and trembled in the air it was let out into, but he wasn't sure if that was joy or fear or relief or incredulity.

-

Twenty four hours and six years earlier, Dean was in the kitchen, doing the dishes.</p><p>He never minded doing the dishes. Something was soothing about filling the sink with warm water and sticking your hands in, especially calloused and worn hands like his own.</p><p>Sam and Cas were out getting groceries. Dean was going to cook tonight, but it would be a bit more impressive than just bacon and eggs. He had really come to enjoy cooking; it gave him something to focus on, do with his hands, do well, and enjoy as others enjoyed. It was the closest to the feeling he got after wrapping up a case.</p><p>He felt happy. He wasn't content; he could never be considering Chuck was out there somewhere, wanting his family dead. But Dean could let himself be satisfied until he had a specific reason not to be.</p><p>The last few days had been rather domestic, and Dean hated to admit it, but it was kind of… sweet. Ew, why would he ever use that word? But that's how it felt.</p><p>They went on a case a few days ago, all three of them, and they even stayed a night in a motel, just like old times. A good, old fashioned ghost case. Just what the doctor ordered. They joked about Cas not sleeping, and they had watched a really campy monster movie on the cable. When Sam fell asleep, Dean and Cas braided his hair for him to find and fume about in the morning while Dean would roll off of his bed laughing, hitting the floor with a heavy thud. It only made Cas run around to where he was and fall onto the floor with him, searching him for injuries and looking too worried and concerned for the situation. Still, it made Sam join in with Dean's laughter more than anything else.</p><p>Dean insisted he was fine, but it turns out he actually broke his damn leg. How insane was that? He'd been on a ghost hunt, but he broke his leg falling off of his bed.</p><p>He was humiliated, and though Cas attempted to try to heal him, Dean stopped him. He didn't want Cas to try and hurt himself in the process. They had noticed how much harder it had been for Cas to heal people lately and didn't want him to exert any of that strength on an injury as large as a broken leg.</p><p>Dean, stubborn as always, refused to go see a doctor or go to a hospital. Sam was furious, but Dean just wrapped his leg and walked stiffly with a limp as they went out to the graveyard and burned the bones of their most recent ghost.</p><p>They managed to convince him to let Sam drive and have Dean in the back seat, his broken leg propped up on the chair as he sat with his back pressed against the door. He whined about it but considering he had managed to make them concede a hospital visit, he did as he was told.</p><p>Whenever he got out of the car to walk, he would walk fast with the same determination he always had, and Sam would shout at him relentlessly. Dean finally stopped this antic as they walked from the garage to the bunker, when Cas finally spoke up, interrupting Sam's millionth threat with his own.</p><p>"Dean, if you don't start taking your injury seriously and slow down, I will carry you inside."</p><p>Dean looked at his friend with a joking, shocked expression. Still, it quickly came to frozen fear as he looked into his eyes, severe and unwavering, and realized Cas wasn't joking at all.</p><p>He walked very carefully and slowly inside, very glad to be in front of them so they couldn't see how red his face had become.</p><p>Then there were the stairs. Sam and Cas shared a look of amusement as Dean's eyes got wide, staring at the same stairs they had crossed a million times. They had never looked quite so daunting.</p><p>Dean exclaimed that he didn't need help, multiple times for good effect, so they shrugged at each other, pushed past him, and disappeared down one of the halls.</p><p>Dean spent that entire evening trying to figure out how to get down the stairs, but he only managed four steps. The first step he got down taught him exactly how difficult of a feat this would be. The next two were yet another failed method of just trying his good left leg first and bringing his broken right one down after. The fourth and final stair he went down made him realize that not only was sitting down and trying to scooch himself down the stairs embarrassing, but it was just as ineffective.</p><p>He was half-asleep, sitting on the stair, his head leaning against the bars as he saw a figure at the bottom of the stairs in front of him. He blinked through his tiredness, but it was still blurry.</p><p>He watched as the figure went up the stairs and stopped a few steps down from him. "Dean, you shouldn't sleep here."</p><p>"I'm fine, Cas," Dean mumbled, shutting his eyes again at the blurry tan figure. He hadn't realized how tired he'd been after spending all day walking around on a broken leg. It required so much more effort, both just to walk and to keep up the image that it wasn't as bad as it actually was.</p><p>It woke him up a little more as he felt arms sweep him from the hard, cold, and uncomfortable steps and towards the warm, familiar smells and feelings of Cas' torso and trenchcoat.</p><p>Castiel had the slightly disoriented hunter in a bridal carry, careful not to upset his leg any more than he had to carry him at all. Still, if Dean was feeling any added pain, he didn't show it.</p><p>Dean almost decided not to protest at all, he really was exhausted, and the stairs really hadn't been comfortable but curled into Cas' arms as the angel carried him with ease and no shame, it was almost too convenient to pass up. It was more than comfortable; it was comforting.</p><p>But, ever the Dean Winchester he was, he began to speak in protest, though not very coherently. "What're you… I don't need help… I'm fine, just tired…" the phrases both were strangely separate declarations and yet lazily connected through his only half-conscious rambling.</p><p>"Just sleep, Dean." Cas' deep rumbling voice was quiet, and it was the perfect sound to compel Dean to officially fall asleep, unknowingly nuzzling his head into Cas' chest.</p><p>Cas smiled down at the man he carried through the hall, both in humorous amusement and in a loving fondness. He knew that on any other day, Dean would be much more lucid and wouldn't have even let Castiel lift him off the steps. So there was something incredibly satisfying about this moment in particular, as he looked down at the hunter, unconsciously pulling himself closer to the angel in his sleep. Something satisfying in a way he didn't understand, all he knew was that it felt right.</p><p>As he was about to pass by the kitchen entrance on his way to Dean's room, he stopped. He knew Sam was in there, reading at the table and snacking on an apple, even though it was late. And usually, he would have passed by and even stopped so that Sam could laugh and take a picture to use as blackmail, but there was something that just didn't feel right about that this time.</p><p>He was carrying Dean, which was admittedly funny, especially if Sam could see it. But, there was something about it that lacked the humor necessary for Cas to appreciate Sam's teasing nature. It wasn't a familiar joke or funny embarrassing moment; it felt… genuine. Too genuine to taint with embarrassment. So he turned around and walked in an extended circle around the kitchen to Dean's room instead.</p><p>As he stepped into the dim room, Dean's already sleeping body relaxed even more, probably a reaction to the loss of light. He was dead asleep now, and Cas wanted to laugh, but not because it was funny, but for something else. Happiness, maybe? Contentment, perhaps? He wasn't entirely sure, nor did he feel the need to be.</p><p>He was aware but chose to ignore the fact that he held Dean like that for about twenty minutes before setting him in his bed and pulling the blankets over him. He even took the time to carefully pull off his shoes and put his right leg into a position least afflicting to him.</p><p>He had one last idea, and Cas pressed his fingers to Dean's forehead. Not to make him sleep, he was a little late to that, but to put a good dream in his head.</p><p>However, as he pulled his fingers away, Dean grabbed his arm and pulled it to his chest. Cas became slightly unbalanced and had to lean over, holding the edge of Dean's bed frame so as not to fall on top of the man. He had Cas' forearm in a tight grip, and Castiel didn't know what to do. He could pull it back, but that would surely wake the man, and that was the last thing he wanted.</p><p>When Dean woke up the next morning, he saw that he was curled around his alarm clock, holding it in a death grip. He wondered how the hell that happened but wasn't too surprised. Dean had always been someone who liked to hold onto something while he slept; he just never could have stuffed animals as a child because there was rarely any privacy in a motel room, and he knew his dad would think less of him.</p><p>He didn't remember anything about the night before, just seeing Cas telling him not to sleep on the stairs and then fuzziness.</p><p>He hadn't slept that well in… hell… years.</p><p>So a few days later, there he was, washing the dishes at home, alone in the bunker, getting ready to cook for Sam and Cas when they came back with groceries.</p><p>Ever since they got back from the hunt, Sam and Cas had been babying him. Sam was repeatedly saying he needed to go to a doctor, but Dean repeatedly refused. He didn't want to be stubborn for stubborn's sake, but he didn't want to get a damn cast that they'd have to saw off. He would rather be in pain and feel like he was still in control.</p><p>His phone rang beside the counter, and he leaned over to check the caller ID as he pulled his hands out of the soapy water and wiped them on a nearby dishtowel. Max Banes. He hadn't seen much of Max since that case went horribly wrong with his mother and twin sister, Alicia, but there was no way he would let a call from him go abstained.</p><p>He tapped the screen with a single finger and put it on speaker, his hands still too wet for him to risk picking up his phone.</p><p>"Heya, Max! Long time."</p><p>The voice on the other end had an echo. "Yeah, I know. Listen, I've found something… odd."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading the first chapter! I already have the next couple written so it won't take long to update. Please comment letting me know what you think so far and/or predictions you already have! (The tags and fic summary sort of give things away but the bigger twists of the story won't happen until later of course) thanks so much :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. There's a Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean finds himself in a terrible situation, caused by an unwelcome familiar face</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean raised his eyebrow, aware Max couldn't see him, so it was only for his own benefit. "Odd's the job, Max."</p><p>"Yeah, but this isn't my brand of weird. It's a bit too… world-altering."</p><p>Dean bit his lip, not liking those words. He'd been so happy these past few days despite his broken leg, and he didn't want anything to ruin it. However, if it had anything to do with Chuck, as those things were usually considered "world-altering", then broken leg or no, happiness or no, he would have to help out. That was his duty as a Winchester.</p><p>"That doesn't sound promising."</p><p>"It's like, a piece of frozen lightning, or something. It's gold, and hovering above the ground, shining and moving around a bit."</p><p>Dean froze. He knew exactly what Max was talking about. "Max, don't touch that. Do you understand me? Don't touch it. Don't go near it. Where are you?"</p><p>"Whoa, calm down. I'm near that bunker of yours. I'll text you the address. I won't touch it, I promise." And the phone clicked off. Dean waited with worry for the address, and when his phone beeped, and it showed up, he hauled ass toward the damn stairs yet again.</p><p>He hadn't thought this through. Maybe he should just calm down, wait until Sam and Cas got back, or send them the address without him.</p><p>Oh hell, who was he kidding? He wasn't going to let them do this without him. He would wait until they got home and make them take him, even if Cas had to make good on that threat and carry him out, which felt oddly familiar for some reason.</p><p>He decided to call Max back, let him know how long it would take.</p><p>"Miss me already, Dean?"</p><p>"Shut up. Listen, I have to wait for when Sam and Cas get back from the store, I messed up my leg, and I can't go without them, so it will probably be about thirty minutes. You're lucky you're so close to the bunker. What the hell are you doing in Lebanon anyway?" The better question was 'what the hell is a rift doing in Lebanon so close to the bunker, but Dean knew Max wouldn't know the answer to that.</p><p>"I was actually going to come by the bunker. Sam called me the other day, asked if I could do him a favor. You know, my brand of favor."</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes, knowing what Max was alluding to. "His kind of favor" had to do with witchcraft, which means Sam was probably trying to heal Dean's leg with some magic mumbo-jumbo. He should have known that Sam wouldn't let this go without a fight. But that didn't matter right now.</p><p>"I'm going to guess that you already knew about my leg then?"</p><p>"Dean, it's shifting or something."</p><p>"What do you mean, shifting?"</p><p>"It's not moving places; I just mean it got brighter. Is something wrong with it?"</p><p>"It probably means that there's someone feeding grace to the spell. Max, get out of there."</p><p>"A spell?" Dammit Dean, why did you have to say that to someone who uses magic? "You can make this thing with magic?"</p><p>"Max, believe me, you don't-"</p><p>"Wait, so what-" Max interrupted him but got cut off mid-sentence. There was silence from his end.</p><p>"Max?" No answer. "Max?!" He shouted again, louder, more desperate for a response.</p><p>He thrust his phone into his pocket and grabbed the railing of the stairs. "Okay old friend, looks like we meet again." Dean felt a bit stupid speaking to a staircase, but he couldn't sit around and wait for them to get home.</p><p>He was going to have to do this by himself.<br/>-<br/>He thought going up the stairs had probably been more manageable than going down, but driving was more challenging than he expected. Still, it didn't stop him from going at ungodly speeds.</p><p>Thankfully, Sam and Cas left him the Impala, so he didn't have to take some random, unfamiliar car. Part of him wondered why. Baby was definitely more his than Sam's, but Sam was allowed to take her out whenever he wanted. So why didn't he take it? He supposed he should just be happy he didn't because apparently, he would have to use it.</p><p>He attempted to call Max a million more times in the car, but he never answered, which was a little if not a lot concerning.</p><p>He finally arrived at the location; it was a seemingly abandoned, sole storage unit in the middle of a field off the dirt road. It was the perfect place for a horror movie, probably. It was likely owned by a farmer from the barn he had passed a couple miles back, but he saw Max's car pulled over into the wheat and abandoned any idea of hesitating before going in. He pulled in next to the car and hobbled out, just as concerned if not more so having seen it.</p><p>He awkwardly limped up the rickety wooden steps that he dreaded having to go down again and into the dark shed. That's what it really was, a large shed that was falling apart with no electricity.</p><p>But the room wasn't all dark; the walls were lit dimly with the light of the familiar-looking rift in the center. Dean's breath hitched as he pulled out his phone to dial Max's one last time, in hopes of hearing it ring. If it rang, then maybe Max had been caught by whatever farmer owned the place, and he dropped it and ran.</p><p>Of course, it didn't ring. The shed was quiet, save for the static crackle that came from the rift, writhing like a snake in the water. Maybe if Dean noticed there was, in fact, a phone nearby, silently lighting up face-down behind him, he might not have been stricken with the fear that was in him staring at that rift, a symbol of terrible things in the past and terrible things to come.</p><p>Actually, Max's assertion that it looked like frozen lightning was pretty spot-on. It wasn't still, but it moved around in small, aborted jerks that were just about as quick and violent as a piece of lightning itself.</p><p>Damn it. Damn it, damn it all. Why was this happening right now? He had been happy. Chuck hadn't bothered them directly for a couple of weeks now. And here he was, standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to leap yet again.</p><p>He knew better. He knew he should call Sam. Wait until he had backup. So, he slowly drew the phone to his face and was about to bring up his brother's contact yet again when the rift suddenly began to shrink in size, flickering madly.</p><p>It was closing. Dean had a split second, and all he could think of in that second was Max, being trapped on the other side.</p><p>So without thinking, just acting on his famous save-people-above-anything-else reflexes, he stuffed the phone into his pocket and ran into the rift as it closed with a pop.<br/>-<br/>Dean immediately regretted his decision. He didn't need to spin around to see that the rift had disappeared, stranding him here.</p><p>He was stranded with a broken leg.</p><p>One thing at a time. Dean took a centering breath and looked around. He was in a large wheat field, no longer a shed or any cars or roads in sight. In fact, it was mostly just wheat from horizon to horizon, which filled him with unease.</p><p>"Hello, Dean."</p><p>Dean froze, his blood-chilling as he heard that all too familiar voice coming from behind him, even though he knew that no one had been there when he just surveyed his surroundings.<br/>He slowly turned to face the man, standing with his hands in his pockets, completely unbothered. "Chuck." He gave him a grim nod, understanding how little power he had in the situation.</p><p>Chuck gave him a warm smile, which would have been comforting on literally anyone else's face, but only served to make him feel less safe than before. "I see you took my bait. Funny thing, bait. No one truly cares about it, not once they've been caught."</p><p>Dean wasn't sure where he was going with this, but he simply stiffened, determined to push down all the realizations and ideas that were springing up in his head. "Where's Max?"<br/>Chuck looked up to the sky with fake innocence. "Who?"</p><p>Dean curled and uncurled his fists. "Max Banes. That kid who brought me here."</p><p>Chuck leaned his head forward, cupping his hand to his ear. "Sorry, I didn't catch that; who are you asking me about?"</p><p>This time the growl in Dean's throat was audible, catching onto Chuck's degrading prompt. "Where is the bait, Chuck?"</p><p>His smile, which was warm before, was now reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. "Oh, the bait! Don't worry about that witch, Dean. The whole thing was a setup."</p><p>The hunter's eyes doubled in size. "You faked the phone calls? And the car?"</p><p>Chuck laughed, swiping his hands through the air. "Don't be ridiculous. I simply lined everything up without his knowledge. Max Banes is safely back home. He just happened to be chased out by an angry farmer and dropped his phone at an inopportune time."</p><p>Dean felt a pit in his stomach. He was relieved that Max was safe, but it wasn't a good sign that Chuck wanted him to be here. Right now, it was looking like Dean, with a broken leg, was lured and then trapped into an alternate world by God himself, a God who had promised to get revenge on the Winchesters.</p><p>"I thought you destroyed all the other worlds." Dean settled on that inquiry rather than the ones with answers he knew he really didn't want to hear.</p><p>"Yes, all but this one. Don't worry, this one won't be around forever either." He shot Dean a wink. "You're not from the only world deserving of a special kind of death. Your world will be last because it is special, and it has you and your brother and Castiel. This world is also special for… another reason." The brazen, patronizing, smiley act dropped to reveal a darker look on his face for once. It was less like the recent Chuck, but not like the original one. More like the Chuck who was sad about Amara. Dean had no idea how to start deciphering that.</p><p>"Okay, so you're destroying your last two worlds. Why am I here?"</p><p>Chuck's smile returned, this one scarier than any of the previous ones. "I believe you've noticed I haven't been to your world to visit recently. I don't want the destruction of this world to be quick; I need it to be slow. However, it would be remiss of me to simply allow you and your family to live in peace until this world is good and finished. No, that would take too long. You'd have too much time to be… happy." Chuck made a disgusted face at that. "I simply won't allow it. So I thought I'd kill two pesky birds with one stone. While I take my time here, I won't have to check on you and your family if I'm ensuring you're suffering regardless. So I thought I'd keep you here."</p><p>This was all too much information to process. Chuck wanted Dean here, on a planet that he was killing. However, he was killing it, slowly, until said world ended.</p><p>"Isn't it a good idea, Dean? I think so. If you're here, you get to play survivor. And your little friends back home, especially Sam and Castiel, they'll get to spend the foreseeable future wondering where you are. Suddenly Dean just disappeared, with a broken leg. And you'll stay here until, well, until you die, I guess."</p><p>The words came out of Chuck's mouth so nonchalantly. Like what he was saying made sense and could have even been predictable. This was in no way predictable; there had never been a moment where Dean had predicted this.</p><p>"Why?" It was the only question Dean could think of. What else could he ask? What other problem existed? The answer to anything he could come up with would just be "because I'm bored," and Dean couldn't even put his thoughts and fears into question form because it was all so set-in-stone. He was trapped here. That wasn't a question; it was a fact.</p><p>Chuck smiled at him, yet again. "I'm bored, Dean. Besides, what makes you think you're deserving of happiness? I'll be happy knowing you'll never see Sam or Castiel again." He studied Dean for a moment before letting out a long, resigned sigh. "But because we've been through so much together, I'll give you a heads up. I'm tearing this world apart by having released everything in Purgatory. Good luck!"</p><p>Suddenly Dean was alone in the field. And he really was alone. He saw nothing but wheat around him for miles, and no other being. Perhaps that was a good thing because it meant there were no enemies to worry about.</p><p>Had Chuck really released Purgatory? Just twisted the doorknob and watched as they all piled out? Fed on humanity? If he wanted to watch this world suffer in its ending, that was a pretty good way to do it. Set Purgatory upon Earth.</p><p>Well, he wouldn't get anywhere or solve anything just standing there, so he picked a direction and trudged forwards, albeit awkwardly and painfully with his damn leg.</p><p>It was hot. There were no clouds in the sky and no trees or any form of shade. Dean lumbered forward, sweating and feeling more and more exhausted as pain shot through him with every other step.</p><p>The first thing he did during his walk was to check his phone. It didn't register as having service, and Dean doubted that his phone plan offered interdimensional minutes. No way to contact anybody, but he'd known that already. This wasn't his first time in an alternate world.</p><p>This was his first time with no set way out yet, though. Yet, he had to convince himself. No way out, YET.</p><p>About an hour into this horrible walk, he checked his personal inventory. What he had on his person. A gun, a few knives, a flask of holy water. That was it. Not exactly the kind of arsenal ideal for if he ran into any monsters.</p><p>After being in Purgatory, he knew he had a leg up on how to defend himself. Hell, being a hunter, was probably in and of itself an advantage. He couldn't imagine how guilty he'd feel if Chuck decided to end Dean's world in this way. He didn't like the idea of having to watch, unable to do anything to protect humanity from the things you'd been protecting them from in secret for generations.</p><p>Cracking open Purgatory meant monsters, plain and simple. The three main ones he knew he'd have to look out for being vampires, werewolves, and those damn Leviathans. God, he really didn't want to see another Leviathan for as long as he lived, though he got the unhappy feeling that he wouldn't be getting that wish.</p><p>Right now, the only one of those things he was equipped to kill were the wolves. Handy silver bullets. But he certainly didn't have a machete or borax handy.</p><p>And he definitely didn't have a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen.</p><p>As he pushed on, he thought about his options. Currently, he had zero options. He had a broken leg, no car, and no right way to defend himself. But if he could just get to a car and hotwire it, maybe he could get to the bunker, beg this world's Sam and Dean for help creating a rift back home.</p><p>But, did this world have a Sam and Dean? Did it even have a bunker? All he currently knew about it was that it had endless wheat fields.</p><p>Dammit, why hadn't he called them? He had so many opportunities to call them, where he should have called them. Dean had a fucking broken leg, and Sam and Cas were only a few miles out, grocery shopping. There had never been a better reason to call them and fill them in. He should have just called Sam and Cas and asked if they could pick him up. Why hadn't he just waited or called or texted or looked around for Max outside and missed the rift's window of being open? Why hadn't he only done something, anything differently?</p><p>It eased his nerves and self-deprecation a bit as he realized nothing would have avoided this outcome. Chuck manipulated the circumstances so that Dean would go through the rift alone. It was designed to happen the way it happened.</p><p>He also reminded himself that Sam and Cas wouldn't have to spend the foreseeable future wondering where he was like Chuck suggested. If Max wasn't here, he would put two and two together reasonably quickly upon finding no Dean, no rift, and an empty Impala. Max would go to the bunker and explain everything.</p><p>That in no way would fix his situation. Merely knowing he was no longer on their world wouldn't bring him back, but at least Sam and Cas wouldn't think Dean took the Impala and drove off into the sunset or something. They'd know he hadn't wanted to leave them.</p><p>Archangel grace. Fruit from the tree of life. Two other things… what the hell were they? It hadn't even been that long, and he forgot. Blood, right? And something else…? A seal of something?<br/>Dammit, all this was shaping up to be impossible.</p><p>But as he trudged on, his leg now practically trailing back behind him, he reminded himself that impossible was his specialty. Sure, the impossible was easier to manage with his brother and his angel and his witches and his books. But he didn't have any of those right now, as much as he desperately wanted the first two.</p><p>That was it! He needed to build a foundation first. The only way he had ever been successful in the past was because he was never just one man alone, stranded in the middle of nowhere.</p><p>First, he needed resources. He would need to find somewhere to stay, a house or a car or a motel room where he could rest and reset, and begin to compile resources: weapons, spellbooks, anything he would need to survive.</p><p>Then, after that, he would need allies. He was sure there were some around; after all, in a world of humans at war with monsters, it might even be easier to make some friends with a common mindset. If he just got some resources and some allies, he could start coming up with an actual plan.</p><p>It stung a bit to be forced to come to terms with the knowledge that this wouldn't be a quick experience, that it would be a bit before he got to see his family again, but he already knew that the second he heard Chuck's voice behind him.</p><p>He had probably been walking for four hours when he finally spotted trees. He wasn't sure that the woods would be much safer of an option considering at least in this hot, endless, god-forsaken wheat field he hadn't seen any monsters, but Dean was just grateful to see anything at all that was different, and he could do with some shade and some water.</p><p>It took about another hour of walking before he got close. He was a way out still, about the length of a football field between him and the tree line, when he spotted movement and stopped.</p><p>He saw a figure, humanlike, as far as he could tell, but he knew better than to let that be helpful considering the three monsters he worried about the most all appeared human.</p><p>It didn't bode well as he saw another one a few feet away walk out from the tree line. And then another. And then before he could really process his course of action, dozens stalked out from the trees and began to pick up the pace toward him.</p><p>He was screwed.</p><p>Dean had a split second to decide which direction to turn and run in. Being a hunter, it had been painfully obvious where north, south, east, and west were just by the sun's direction. He had been going south, where the forest was. He certainly couldn't go north, back where he came, because he was looking to outrun a dozen monsters on a broken leg, and he had walked for five hours without any place to hide.</p><p>He jerked his head to the left, more wheat. Endless, goddamn wheat. He jerked his head to the right, and he saw wheat, of course, but something else as well.</p><p>The ground wasn't merely flat and endless; it tapered off about two hundred yards out. From his position and what he could hazard to guess about his terrain, it was a rather steep drop. Maybe too steep. He couldn't tell if it was a hill or a cliff caused by some natural destruction.</p><p>Either way, it seemed west was his only viable option, so he took off as fast as his one good leg would allow him.</p><p>He heard ungodly screeches behind him as he ran. His heart was pumping, and his blood was rushing in his ears. He felt scared, more than he had been in a long time. He felt so utterly unequipped and unprepared and unsafe at the moment.</p><p>Dean could hear their feet slapping the ground and their bodies swishing through the tall grass, and he could feel it getting closer and closer.</p><p>He finally got to the moment of truth, to see where the drop off led, when he felt nails clawing into the calf of his broken leg. He screeched (rather embarrassingly but hey, who did he have to impress) as he spun around, pulling out his knife and thrusting it into the hand gripping onto him.</p><p>Teeth were bared, and it was clear that he was dealing with vampires. The rest were not far behind, but thankfully the vampire recoiled from his leg while not-so-kindly ripping some of it out with him. To avoid being grabbed and bitten by the others who had now caught up to them, he stumbled backward.</p><p>His heel hit the air, and his hurting body followed, at least pushing himself off as to avoid the bloodthirsty arms reaching out as if to grab him from mid-air, and he felt himself fall.</p><p>There was a moment of peace, just a moment, where he shut his eyes against the bright sun that had been beating down on him all day, closed his eyes against the ever-shrinking vamps, snarling at him from above, and he let himself think about being somewhere else. Safe and happy.</p><p>He imagined that he was being lifted from the cold metal stairs in the bunker by a blurry angel and that he was being carried downward in a soft, protective embrace.</p><p>Maybe it was the pain from his leg, the hours of walking and then running on it coupled with the painfully free-flowing wound caused by that ugly vampire tearing off a piece, or maybe it was the exhaustion and the heat, but he passed out before he ever found out what lies in wait for him at the bottom of the drop-off.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Please comment or leave kudos if you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Thought We Were a River</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Max runs into some trouble, Sam and Cas discover that not all is well, and Dean has late night revelations</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Max was not stupid, but he felt that way today.</p><p>The farmer had been strange. He was angry, he held a large rifle, and he reminded Max of that creepy, predatory old hunter from that Disney movie his sister loved so much when they were kids, The Fox and the Hound.</p><p>He hadn't wanted to drop his phone in the middle of a conversation with Dean where he was finding out what the hell kind of magic he stumbled onto in that shed because he really didn't want to freak the guy out. And he was genuinely intrigued by it. After all, the Banes family perfected all things magic, and he had never seen anything like that before.</p><p>The farmer chased him away for a few minutes, driving him out the back door and giving him no chance to get back to his car instead, but he had suddenly stopped. The old man's demeanor completely changed, and he eyed Max with curiosity instead of that rabies-wild anger. He asked who he was and how he got there like he didn't even remember leaving his house.</p><p>Max apologized, said he found something weird in the farmer's shed and told him what he did. The farmer was incredibly apologetic, horrified by his actions.</p><p>He was actually a really, really nice old man. Peaceful and kind. He was not at all the man who chased him away.</p><p>They walked back to the shed together, and they both saw the rift disappear with a pop. After seeing Dean's Impala parked next to Max's car around front, he realized with a sickening thought that they probably just missed the Winchester by a second.</p><p>The rift had been too hard to explain to the farmer, now terrified and confused as hell, so Max just feigned innocence and parted with the nice man, leaving him his phone number and telling him to keep an eye on the shed and call if that "lightning" came back.</p><p>Maybe a part of Max understood the situation better than he thought because he didn't waste a second waiting around for it to pop back up again. His gut told him it wouldn't. Not a hopeful thought at all, but at least he could immediately be put to action.</p><p>Sam wasn't picking up his phone; the line was busy whenever he tried to call. Max just growled to himself in frustration and tossed the phone harshly onto the passenger seat as he quickly put the car in gear and pulled out, away from the shed and the kind farmer and the empty Impala, and booked it toward the bunker he'd always wanted to visit anyway.

-

Dean blinked his eyes open, expecting the dim light of his bedroom, but that wasn't what he saw. He was definitely outside, staring up at the most beautiful night sky he'd ever seen.

Genuinely, he had never seen so many stars. He shut his eyes contentedly before opening them again, watching as the trees in his peripheral vision passed by him slowly as he continued floating, staring up at the stars.</p><p>Wait, why was he floating?</p><p>Suddenly aware that he was not only not in the bunker but also apparently floating on his back in the water, he immediately flailed his limbs in a moment of confusion and panic. Though the action did little to settle himself, it harshly reminded him of his broken leg, which was the push he needed to remember everything.</p><p>Max. Rift. Chuck. Vampires. Drop-off. Fucking wheat.</p><p>He luckily found a log within reach, finding it when he flailed his arm, and it smacked into the rough bark. He wrapped his arms around it and looked around.</p><p>He was in some sort of creek or stream or river that ran through a forest. Finally, trees and shade, though he didn't need the shade now, it was very obviously the middle of the night.

He had to guess that the river he was in was traveling south, and he ended up in the same forest he ran from earlier. He tried to piece together what happened. He remembered the pain in his leg well because it was a constant reminder, but he was fuzzy on what happened when he jumped away from the vampires.</p><p>It hadn't been a hill, obviously, but thankfully it must have been a drop-off above the river; otherwise, he was sure he'd be feeling more pain than just his leg. He didn't remember landing in the water, but that probably made sense considering how many hours he'd been walking in the heat on a broken leg, so his body and mind just decided it was time to retreat to protect himself in case he hit the ground.</p><p>He wondered how long he'd been asleep, lying face up in the river. It had been around 11 AM when Max first called him, probably closer to noon when he finally got to the shed, and that would put him in the evening when he fell. Though, he didn't know how close to sunrise he was right now.</p><p>He noted, with dry humor, that Sam would love this. Getting in touch with nature, all that hippie-dippie shit. Hell, Sam would probably be able to tell exactly what time it was down to the minute based on the moon's position or some shit. And Cas would love this view. The way the river pushed him gently, leaving him weightless as he stared up at the well-lit sky. Cas would probably spend the time pointing out constellations and telling Dean stories about them, and Dean would lazily pretend to listen and just smile at how excited Cas could get about stuff like that.</p><p>Still holding onto the log but lying back, floating flat on the river, he closed his eyes and imagined that Sam and Cas were floating on either side of him.</p><p>"Are you even paying attention to what he's saying, Dean?"</p><p>"Of course not," Dean muttered out loud to no one around.</p><p>"Dean, we have an actual angel who's seen so much of history, who knows about everything in creation. You could at least pretend to be interested!"</p><p>"I'm not as much of a nerd as the two of you." Dean could feel a smile on his lips.</p><p>"Sam, no miracle I could ever accomplish would convince Dean that nature is interesting."</p><p>Dean laughed, even though no one spoke. "Okay, fine, Cas, you guys win, tell me about… that one." Dean opened his eyes again to look at the sky, and he removed one arm from lying on the water to point up at some random stars in the sky.</p><p>No one answered. As quickly as Dean opened his eyes, the voices of his family disappeared. Strangely, he even looked around for them as if they had been there in the first place.</p><p>Dean started to realize there was something wrong. Where was he again? The water. How did he get there? Where did Sam and Cas go?</p><p>His head felt light, and he closed his eyes again, waiting to hear Sam and Cas' voices again, but they didn't come. He felt the water lap shallowly against his cheeks and imagined that the current cradling him was instead the arms of someone lifting him and carrying him to bed, a world away, and he drifted off to dark, dreamless sleep.

-

Sam and Cas got home from the store a little after noon. Sam wanted to go to a health foods store because he knew that whatever Dean would cook would be delicious, but would somehow find a way to be incredibly unhealthy. He thought maybe if he only had healthy ingredients, he wouldn't find a way to make it an artery-clogger.</p><p>Cas reminded him that Dean would, in fact, still find a way.</p><p>Both Sam and Cas had enjoyed Dean's little injury leave. They weren't sure if Dean had, considering that a broken leg should be a punishment, being confined to the bunker unable to leave and hobbling around. But he had seemed uncharacteristically happy, all things considered. The two of them treasured when Dean would get to be happy, so it only fed their enjoyment of the situation.</p><p>Dean meant everything to them. Neither would say it aloud, but both liked Dean better than they liked the other, and even if they were to say it out loud, it wouldn't matter because it was apparent and, therefore, inconsequential. Dean was Sam's brother, and Cas had rescued Dean from hell and spent a year with him in Purgatory. Besides, Dean just had that effect on people.</p><p>"Seriously, Cas, I can carry at least ONE of those bags," Sam exclaimed with evident exasperation as they walked through the door into the bunker and started down the stairs.</p><p>Cas shook his head, the nine bags he was juggling on his shoulders, arms, wrists, and hands jostling with each step-down. "You dropped the eggs, Sam. I think it would be best for me to complete this task." There was taunting humor in the angel's voice and face, and Sam had half a mind to push him down the stairs. He really was spending too much time with Dean.</p><p>Oddly, Dean wasn't in the large open room like he usually was. He may have been happy these last few days, but he still hated being left home alone, and every time Sam and Cas left, he would usually be waiting just beneath the stairs or on his laptop on the desks in the library so that he could pester them upon their return. But he wasn't there.</p><p>Sam followed Cas to the kitchen, again expecting to see Dean in there instead. Maybe to pop out and laugh at how comical Cas looked with all those bags and relieve him of some while bullying Sam for being useless. But he wasn't in there either.</p><p>The sink was filled with suds, and it looked like Dean had been doing the dishes but had stopped somewhere before finishing. Cas and Sam shared a wordless look that portrayed slight confusion.</p><p>"I will go find Dean and tell him we're back," Cas stated. It was clear that he was trying to assuage any concern he might have for the other man, as Sam had come to be used to. Sam and Dean might be self-sacrificial martyrs, but Castiel's protectiveness over Dean and Dean's own over the angel was incredibly noticeable. So, of course, when Cas didn't see Dean in the first minute they were home, he would want to check on him.</p><p>Strangely, it was Castiel's worry for Dean that kept Sam from worrying. He just chuckled to himself about how obsessed those two were with each other as Cas hurried off to find Dean.</p><p>As Castiel started toward Dean's room, he felt an empty fear in his stomach. There was something different about today, different than when he usually got home, and Dean would be asleep or in the bathroom. He usually didn't feel the need to seek him to be aware of him because he was almost always unconsciously aware of him. But something about that moment, not finding Dean in the kitchen, he was vaguely reminded that he was, in fact, not feeling aware of him.</p><p>He knocked on Dean's door, but the continuing emptiness inside of him told him he wasn't in there before he went ahead and opened the door. His room looked relatively untouched like he hadn't been there since that morning.</p><p>He wasn't in the bathroom, the storage rooms, the dungeon, the shooting range, or any of the rooms with televisions or couches.</p><p>After a few minutes of fruitless searching to the raised eyebrow of the tall hunter, he returned to the kitchen, putting away the contents of the last grocery bag.</p><p>Sam was immediately alerted by Cas's pallor complexion and how his breathing was visible in the way his torso bounced up and down. "He's not here. Sam, he's not in the bunker."</p><p>"What?!" Sam was concerned now, but mostly angry at his brother. "Dammit, I thought I didn't see the Impala, but I was distracted by dropping the damn eggs; I didn't think about it." He slammed the bag of carrots violently down onto the counter. "How many times have we told him not to leave the bunker with his leg like that?"</p><p>Castiel rolled his eyes, trying to push down the panic he was showing a minute ago. "Too many. I'll go look for the car to see if he actually took it."</p><p>Sam nodded uselessly as the man had already been leaving the room at the end of his statement. He didn't need to search the bunker for himself; he knew that Cas wouldn't have said Dean wasn't in the bunker if he really was. So instead, he pulled out his phone and called Dean's number. It was a little more worrying when it went straight to voicemail. Dean's phone never went directly to voicemail, and the line wasn't busy, so why the hell was his phone shut off?</p><p>Sam met Cas coming back inside. "Dean's phone is off." He called up to Cas, standing at the top of the stairs. He waved his own phone for emphasis.</p><p>"If he won't answer his phone and we have no idea where he went or when he left, what exactly are we supposed to do?"</p><p>Sam sat down at the table, vaguely aware of the angel's footsteps descending the metal stairs. </p><p>"I guess we just hope he isn't doing anything stupid or anything to mess up his leg even more."

Castiel sat across from him at the table, but neither were looking at each other. Sam was drumming his fingers on the table at an erratic pace, and Cas kept curling and uncurling his fists, pressing them to his legs.</p><p>Though nothing about the situation was cause for that kind of life-or-death concern they had mastered in their line of work, something wasn't sitting right with either of them, and the emptiness inside of Cas only furthered it.

-

Meanwhile, a very determined witch named Max Banes broke every speed limit possible, racing to get to Sam and Castiel at the bunker.</p><p>He dreaded having to tell them what happened, that Dean disappeared after presumably getting too close to the thing he warned Max over the phone not to get close to. But he couldn't think about what that meant, not until Sam actually told him what it meant.</p><p>Max had to slam on the brakes as a man ran out into the road in front of him, waving his arms.</p><p>When the car skidded to a stop, the man rounded to the passenger side and knocked on the window frantically. He was a small, squirrely man with a beard and blood streaming down his face. If it hadn't been for the blood, Max would have driven away, having more important things to worry about at the moment, but he groaned internally as he rolled the window down. Curse his own innate kindness.</p><p>"Please, please, you have to help me! There's a crazy guy out here, and he chased me from my car, and he hit me over the head, and I don't know what to do-"</p><p>"It's okay! Calm down, man. Get in." He unlocked the door, and the man threw himself in. Max immediately began driving again, not really wanting to mess with a crazy guy running around. "Look, man, I've got some important stuff going on, so I have to make a stop, but I can take you to a hospital after," he promised.</p><p>The man nodded frantically. "Of course. Thank you so much, bait."</p><p>Max furrowed his brow as he continued driving down the backroad. "Bait? Is that what you said?" He asked out of confusion. The man might be out of his mind, though.</p><p>"Oh, sorry. Max."</p><p>Max whipped his head over to stare at him. "Wait, how the hell did you…?" He trailed off at what he saw. The man no longer had any blood on his face. It was as if it had never been there at all. He was also no longer scared-looking or shaking; he was smiling calmly, staring out the windshield. "Who the hell are you?" Max's voice was low and leveled, coming out as a threat.</p><p>The man looked at him and grinned in an unsettling way. "My name's Chuck."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Order Has Abandoned Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean has a delirious run in with a nightmare from his past</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean felt calm and protected as he slept. His dream that formed was a little odd but peaceful. He dreamt that he was fished out of the river and carried away. He smiled a bit, imagining being in Cas' arms, transported away from the stairs. The concept was quickly becoming a repeating dream.</p><p>He dreamt he was being carried through the woods and that he was brought inside a cabin and set down next to something warm.</p><p>After a while, where the dream had slipped away, Dean finally woke up, still feeling dizzy and confused. "Cas?" He mumbled as he sat up, grabbing his head.</p><p>He blinked away the sleep in his eyes and saw he was actually in a cabin. He was on the floor in front of an active fireplace. He was beginning to think that he had been rescued from the river while he may not have been fully present and carried to safety.</p><p>Though, he wouldn't call a dark log cabin in the woods "safety." But at least the events of the last day were a bit clearer now.</p><p>He was still dripping with water, but his clothes were stiff, indicating it had been at least a half an hour since he left the river. He noted that whoever saved him put him in front of the fireplace to warm him up and help dry him as well.</p><p>But looking around, he could see the place was empty. There was a bed across the room covered in thick, flannel sheets, a scratchy looking brown couch, and a coffee table, and behind him, there was another table with two chairs. He wasn't entirely lucid at the moment, and he was struggling to understand why.</p><p>Suddenly he heard a loud screeching sound, something vaguely familiar ringing in his head. It was coming from outside, a few feet away from the walls. He didn't try to stand to look outside or bar the door if whatever was out there should try to make its way inside.</p><p>He heard a couple more screeches and soft thuds before the door finally creaked open after an extended moment of silence. He held his breath as he waited for a monster to stumble in and kill him while he sat, defenseless, and not entirely present on the floor.</p><p>A monster did come through that door. A monster who was supposed to be dead. A beast that haunted him, whose actions haunted him, whose face haunted him.</p><p>He had the same sandy blonde hair, same haircut, same gait and posture, and everything Dean had memorized about this particular breed of monster. His clothes were stained with both red and black stains, and his face and hands were a bit dirtier than Dean ever remembered him allowing, but it was so unmistakably him.</p><p>Lucifer.</p><p>The archangel's eyes widened, and there was a look of calm control and peace on his face in comparison to when Dean had seen him last. Or ever. "You're awake!" He gave him a small, genuine smile that made Dean's blood boil.</p><p>"It's not possible," he muttered darkly. Because it wasn't. He killed him. He was dead, wing-prints on the ground and everything. He killed him using Michael's power. And then, just for good measure, his vessel, this vessel, Nick, ended up dead too. Neither Nick nor Lucifer had any reason to be standing in front of him right now.</p><p>Lucifer just cocked his head at him slightly. "I apologize for not healing your leg sooner," he began as he stepped closer to Dean and crouched on the floor to be closer to him. "I couldn't fight those wretched things until you were out of harm's way, so I was basically just running. But you're safe now, I promise."</p><p>Lucifer reached out a hand to touch Dean's leg, but he regained his senses and scurried backward, crashing into the table behind him. Lucifer could clearly see that his distress wasn't just the blood loss he was suffering from; there was something about him that scared this human. He frowned a bit. Scaring humans was the one thing he'd been trying to avoid all this time, and yet even when he saved one and showed no inhuman signs, they still feared him just based on sight.</p><p>"You're dead," the man mumbled. It was harsh and violent, and Lucifer was sure that he needed to heal this man as quickly as possible.</p><p>"You've lost a lot of blood, but I can help you. I promise you, I'm not whoever it is you believe me to be. I just want to help you."</p><p>Dean hissed at the line. Did Lucifer think he was stupid? Actually, probably. "You are exactly who I think you are. I'm not confused." He saw as Lucifer opened his mouth to protest, so Dean cut him off. "You're Lucifer."</p><p>Dean felt a bit of relief as the man scrambled back to his feet, a look of shock and confusion on his face. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, not knowing how to respond.</p><p>How did this stranger know who he was? Sure, the teams back at the rescue bases knew him, but he would recognize any of them. He had definitely never seen this man before. He could understand if the man recognized his vessel, but not Lucifer himself. This was definitely a human, not an angel or a demon, so how the hell did he recognize Lucifer for who he was? He would understand if he recognized him by name, he knew that survivors spread the word of the archangel Lucifer, but there was no way he could recognize him based on appearance.</p><p>But no matter how this man knew him so quickly, he knew he couldn't have a normal conversation with him until he was healed, and his mind became clearer, so he settled on an admission and a negotiation instead. "If you truly know who I am, then you know that I am not the evil figure the populous believed me to be." He reasoned, once more crouching down to be level with the man but not moving closer yet.</p><p>Dean narrowed his eyes. "Really? Well, sorry if I don't forgive you for what you did to Sam. For what you did to Cas. Or how about my mother? Should I forgive you for that one?"</p><p>Lucifer cocked his head, and it made Dean's blood boil yet again. "I don't understand-"</p><p>"You've hurt my family and friends more than any other thing in the universe. Don't profess that I'm 'safe' with you. You possessed and tortured Sam in hell. You possessed and then killed Cas in the span of a year. You kidnapped my mother, and don't get me started on all the innocent people you murdered along the way." He wanted to spit at him to drive the point home, but his mouth was incredibly dry.</p><p>Lucifer just blinked at him, more confused after that spiel than he had been when he said his name. He had absolutely no idea what this man was talking about, but it conceptually made sense, which confused him more. There was no way this man could be talking about him because Lucifer had never done these things he claimed, but he used terms like "hell" and "possession," which were really reserved for angels and demons.</p><p>He wanted answers from this man. He tried to understand why he knew who he was but thought he had done horrible things to him. Lucifer didn't like that there was a human who believed those awful things about him.</p><p>"Please, let me heal you." Dean was a bit taken aback by Lucifer's still calm, almost desperate voice. He wasn't going to let Lucifer's drastic change in personality distract him from who he was. He was the devil.</p><p>"Don't touch me!" Dean growled as the archangel tried once more to reach out and touch his leg. To his credit, Lucifer retracted his hand and stood back up, backing away from the hunter who was all but cowering underneath the table, unable to inch away any further.</p><p>Lucifer clacked his teeth together, repetitively, thinking. He didn't want to leave the man, definitely not in the state he was in. But he couldn't bring himself to touch the man's leg if he was this scared of him. If the stranger didn't want him to heal him, he felt obligated not to do so.<br/>But he also felt obligated not to leave him here to die, either by blood loss or one of the many Purgatory monsters breaking in. But he knew that he had killed, or more, blew up, all the Leviathans and vampires that were nearby.</p><p>He let out a breath. "Look, I'll leave you here if you want. But there are monsters everywhere."</p><p>"There are monsters here." Dean shot Lucifer with a glare that made the archangel stumble. Calling him a monster was clearly a sore spot.</p><p>Lucifer was hurt, but only more confused at the clarity with which the stranger said that insult to him. Everything he had been saying, however truthful it was to him, was clouded by his slight deliria. But that line, it was said with no shortage of awareness and lucidity.</p><p>This stranger looked at Lucifer and saw what Lucifer had spent his life trying not to be.</p><p>He turned to go out the door, figuring that flying would only freak him out more. He paused with his hand on the handle. "I know you hate me. I swear to you, I haven't done any of the things you say." He paused again, not sure what he wanted to get across. "If any of those monsters come in here, pray to me, and I will come. Before you say anything," he held up his hand and spat out the last line defensively, anticipating another lashing from the injured man, "be smart. You're in no position to defend yourself. I don't want you to die, even if you feel differently." Lucifer sighed loudly and ran his hands through his hair. "There's fresh clothes packed under the bed. You might want to change; you look like a drowned rat." He shot the stranger one last smirk as he left the cabin.</p><p>Dean, still disoriented, tensed his shoulders until the door was latched behind the devil. The moment he could no longer hear any noise, he passed out.<br/>-<br/>"Where is he?! Why is his phone turned off?" Sam was pacing as Cas was sitting down at the table, wringing his hands together. They were sitting in the library, in case Dean walked in at any moment so they could see him.</p><p>"I don't know, Sam, if I knew I would track him down and heal his leg." He caught Sam's glare that just said, 'don't you dare put this on you,' so he added, "or at least tie him to his bed and lock the door."</p><p>Sam gave him a grim smile. He spent most of his time worrying about Dean, and this wasn't the first time he disappeared without a trace. The only difference was that this wasn't right. Dean only ever ran off alone if they were fighting, and he was on good terms with both him and Cas these days. He also only ran off if there was something personal.</p><p>Sam was beginning to think that's what was going on. It was most likely a personal emergency. Something had to have happened that compelled Dean to quickly leave the bunker without waiting for Sam and Cas to get home and take care of it. That was the emergency part. The fact that he didn't call them was what made him think it was personal.</p><p>It was very much like Dean to keep something related to his past to himself. The only thing that didn't make sense was the fact that Dean was doing this now.</p><p>After everything they'd been through, all three of them, Sam had thought Dean hadn't been nearly as secretive as he used to be. Dean hadn't left without a trace for a while. The last time he did was when he went off to that case involving his old friend Lee, but that was when his judgment was clouded by his anger at Chuck, the betrayal from his friend, and a bar with a no-phone policy. This time there was absolutely no reason for Dean not to leave a note or call them.</p><p>He could tell it was bothering Cas too, but he also got the feeling that there was something the angel wasn't telling him. Probably because whatever it was would only make Sam more nervous.</p><p>The way Cas had looked hours ago when he walked into the kitchen and told Sam that Dean wasn't in the bunker, was not the way someone would usually look. There was a little too much panic considering what Dean was talking about, notorious for being secretive.</p><p>"You know that it's not your fault, right?" Sam finally spoke after a few minutes of silence had passed between them.</p><p>"Why do you think I believe this is my fault?" The tone was supposed to come out as offended, but instead, it just came out as sarcastic, which Cas was kicking himself for.</p><p>Sam raised an eyebrow at the angel's horrible attempt to lie. "Cas, don't start acting like I'm stupid after all this time."</p><p>Castiel didn't bite at the line Sam dangled dangerously in front of him. Instead, he settled back in his chair in defeat. "I should have insisted that I heal his leg. I know it's been more strenuous for me lately, but if I had tried, or worked at it a bit every day…"</p><p>"Don't do this to yourself, Cas," Sam warned. "It was Dean's decision. And it was a stupid decision. But if you blame yourself for not healing him, then I share that blame. I could have just driven to the hospital that day. You know that they're the same option. We both chose to listen to Dean." He let out a sigh. "And he's probably going to walk in any minute and find a way to apologize while never actually apologizing for anything."</p><p>Sam smiled as his words made Cas laugh. But neither believed it.</p><p>"Cas, is there a reason you were so worried? So quickly, I mean?"</p><p>"I don't understand."</p><p>"You found out Dean wasn't in the bunker, and you looked pretty panicked. I get that his leg is broken, but it was different than just that. Am I wrong?"</p><p>Castiel looked at his lap. No, Sam wasn't wrong. That emptiness in his gut still persisted, unrelenting, and trying to make him think the worst had happened. But how could he tell Sam that? Dean hadn't even been gone twelve hours; it was sunset at the moment. He didn't want to push his fears onto Sam. Especially not if he was wrong, and Dean would just saunter in the door.</p><p>The angel closed his eyes and imagined Dean walking through the door, completely unharmed, a grin on his face that was only a little guilty as he admitted that he went out for a drive and broke his phone, or something of the like. And then Cas would carry him down the stairs like he had a few days ago.</p><p>He could tell Sam was waiting for an answer, and he didn't want to give it. So he put on his best fake smile, the kind he learned from Dean. "I was just overreacting. We've been mothering him all week. I suppose I forgot that he could leave the bunker whenever he wanted." Sam's face showed that he didn't believe him, but he didn't ask any further.</p><p>Eventually, as night pressed on, Cas convinced Sam to go to bed. It was more of a threatening demand than a request, and Sam just sighed and did as he was told, making Cas promise to wake him up when Dean got back.</p><p>Castiel repositioned his chair to face the stairs and entry instead of the table, and he just sat, still, stiff, and unblinking, staring all night at a door that never opened.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Haunt You Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean fights through his delirium and fear of the archangel who keeps trying to help, more specifically learn how to cook</p><p>Meanwhile, Sam learns something about the relationship between Cas and Dean that fuels his fears that his brother may be dead</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean woke up with a pain in his neck. He blinked a few times and tried really hard to focus on where he was.</p><p>He was in a river, right? Or no, that already happened. He was somewhere else… somewhere safe? Or was it unsafe?</p><p>Dean was beginning to wonder if he had a grip on reality at the moment; he didn't usually remember struggling this much to understand what was happening around him.</p><p>After a few minutes of dazed sitting, he realized he was underneath a table. How long had that been happening? Why was he under a table?</p><p>Someone scared him there… who? A vampire took a bite out of his leg, was that who?</p><p>His leg. Dammit all. He reached a moment of clarity; his leg was in bad condition.</p><p>He pulled himself out from under the table and stood with a massive amount of exertion. He stumbled over to the bed and realized just how much worse his leg was now than it had been before, as he was grateful for the cabin being so small. He barely took a step before his leg caused him to crumble, and he had to all but hurl himself into the bedframe.</p><p>With the clarity he was regaining, he remembered with a sick feeling that Lucifer had been here. Hell, he could come back whenever he wanted. But Dean wasn't stupid; he was in no position to run away. Clearly.</p><p>He maneuvered his way around the bed to the side and lowered himself slowly onto the ground, keeping his broken leg as straight as possible while sliding it to the side. He felt ridiculous. He pulled out a suitcase, pretty dusty from sitting untouched for a long time. He popped it open and was surprised to see a bra at the top. He began to rummage through curiously and found an assortment of clothes for different genders and sizes. Most of it was androgynous, plain t-shirts and large flannels, button-ups, that sort of thing.</p><p>Lucky for him, most of the jeans were around his size. And he noticed with elation that there were bundles of underwear and socks in a side pocket of the case.</p><p>Everything Dean had on felt either sticky or stiff. He tossed his boots toward the fireplace and began to peel off his damp clothing, throwing all of it in an unceremonious pile near the fireplace, almost tossing a sock in the flames. He couldn't precisely risk trying to walk back over to hang up the clothing or lay it out separately, so he figured it would just have to do for the moment.</p><p>When he finished changing, he felt so much better. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a brown and tan flannel over it, with jeans. It looked like an outfit he might own, and it made him feel a little calm.</p><p>He plopped himself onto the bed, carefully lifting his leg over and setting it down. Curiously, he drew up the pant leg to examine the injury he had flat out ignored while changing.</p><p>Boy, did he regret it. He had been well aware of how the break looked. After all, it hadn't even been that drastic, just hard to move with, but now he was staring at an ugly gash, ripped out by a vampire. The looks of it confirmed his fear that the reason he kept slipping in and out of deliria was that he had lost a shit ton of blood in that river. He wondered if that's why Lucifer saved him.</p><p>Dammit, Lucifer did not save him. He pulled him from the river so that he could steal a peaceful death from him. That's all.</p><p>As if the thought summoned him, Lucifer suddenly appeared just inside the doorway with the sound of flapping wings, and he jumped a bit at seeing Dean in the bed, staring at him.</p><p>"Sorry, I didn't think you'd be awake."</p><p>This time, though Dean felt more lucid than their last confrontation, he couldn't find any words to say. His heart began to beat faster, and he pushed himself to the headboard.</p><p>Lucifer cleared his throat awkwardly. "Right, well, I just came to bring you this." He tossed something at Dean, and he immediately caught it. It was a roll of medical bandages. "I'll respect your wishes not to heal you, but that confusion you're feeling? It's only going to get worse. So at least here you can fend off infection if it isn't infected already." Lucifer seemed almost annoyed that Dean wasn't taking care of himself. But that couldn't be possible.</p><p>The archangel was a bit surprised at the lack of vim he was receiving. The man he fished out of the river that morning was angry and tense. This one just looked terrified of him, frozen. He wasn't sure which he preferred.</p><p>He hated to admit it, but he kind of liked the stranger. He didn't know why. Lucifer definitely had a soft spot for humans, that's what got him into this whole mess, and sure it was possible that he had a soft spot for humans that he rescued, but it felt like there was something else.</p><p>This stranger wasn't just a random civilian he could save. There was something else. And while his evident previous knowledge of angels was tiresome and wrong, it was also refreshing.</p><p>How low had he fallen when the most intriguing man he'd come across was fascinating because though he may hate his guts and fear him violently, at least he knew what he was? It was a bit sad, but so was everything going on.</p><p>He hesitated, and he could see that the stranger saw it on his face. "Are you sure I can't just heal your new wound and leave the break alone? It might help you clear up your head."</p><p>Dean still said nothing. He didn't know what to say; he was pretty powerless. He definitely did not want Lucifer to come any closer to him, though. To the devil's credit, he seemed to pick up on that and sagged his shoulders in defeat.</p><p>"Okay. I'm not what you think I am, not really, but okay." Lucifer's voice again just sounded annoyed. "I also brought this." Dean caught a metal water bottle as it flew into his hands, and he inspected it cautiously.</p><p>He watched as Lucifer rolled his eyes. "It's not poisoned, christ. Do you think I'd save your life only to kill you now?"</p><p>Dean could see him prepare to leave, this time not even pretending to use the door, considering he hadn't when he came in. "Again, if anything comes through that door, pray to me, and I will come to take care of it. Don't be stupid."</p><p>When Lucifer disappeared, leaving Dean alone again, he opened the bottle and chugged almost all of it. He spent half of his day yesterday walking in the heat, then he spent all night and most of the current day in and out of consciousness. Needless to say, he was thirsty, and at this point, he didn't care if it was poisoned.</p><p>He wrapped his wound with the bandages Lucifer brought and contemplated his situation. Lucifer was right; he wasn't really who Dean thought he was. Yes, it really was Lucifer, the archangel basically admitted to it, but the Lucifer that Dean knew was dead. He killed him.</p><p>He was in a different universe now. He was playing the away game, and he had to be conscious that this Lucifer was a different angel.</p><p>The question was, how different?</p><p>Lucifer was terrifying. In the same way that the Michael he met from Apocalypse World had been terrifying. They were archangels with insane amounts of power with vendettas for Winchesters and for humanity in general.</p><p>But did Lucifer necessarily have to be evil? He wanted to beat himself up at the thought that Lucifer could possibly be anything other than the awful and wicked creature he was.</p><p>Yet, Lucifer rescued him. Dean would have died, either bled out and died or passed out and drowned. And Lucifer not only took him out of the river, but he carried him through the woods to a cabin, set him by fire, tried to heal him, brought him water and bandages, demanded that he be called to help should he need it. He actually respected that Dean was too scared to let him heal him.</p><p>Dean was less and less sure that Lucifer was faking any of that, or that he could have some cartoonish, nefarious plan.</p><p>Whether this Lucifer could be trusted or not, Dean had to admit he was not the Lucifer he knew. This one had no idea who Dean was, so if Dean was going to get through this, he had to judge Lucifer as a new archangel, like he had no idea who he was. Because he really knew nothing about him, other than the fact that he was the devil, more specifically the devil who happened to be out rescuing people from rivers and bringing them shelter and fresh clothes.</p><p>-</p><p>Dean slept for too long. Long enough that he knew he wasn't okay.</p><p>He woke up in a sweat, feeling dizzy and sick. He drank the last of the water, but it wasn't enough.</p><p>As he kept going back to sleep and waking up in short bursts, he figured out that he definitely had a fever.</p><p>At one point, when he woke up, he grabbed at the empty water bottle, preparing to hold it over his mouth uselessly in hopes for a single remaining drop, but he found it was heavy and full of ice-cold water. Pretending he didn't know that meant Lucifer had snuck in and out yet again, he gratefully drank half of it and pressed the cold outside to his forehead as he fell asleep again.</p><p>The next time he was woken up was for a different, much worse reason than his persistent injury-caused sickness.</p><p>The door across the room from his bed creaked open slowly, and Dean froze, surprising himself as he actually felt upset knowing it wasn't Lucifer. What was happening to him?</p><p>But he knew Lucifer wouldn't come in the door, not after establishing he knew who he was. And the door opened very slowly, letting in more afternoon sunlight than the curtain-pulled windows did. But there was a figure in the doorway, and Dean bit out a rough breath as he recognized him, vaguely.</p><p>He hadn't been paying much attention to the individual vampires that chased him to the river, but he did remember the gaunt, sickly-looking one that ripped a chunk of his leg out. The injury that was currently causing him to suffer from confusion and fever.</p><p>He looked hollow, his skin too pale to be human, his clothes ripped and dirty. He stood at a strange angle, his head leaning to his left shoulder limply, his arms swinging with no purpose.<br/>Dean backed up a bit, managing to sit up and against the headboard as he had when Lucifer came in… earlier that day? Yesterday? God, how much time had passed?</p><p>The vampire almost seemed zombie-like, stalking toward him silently with no malicious purpose, just simple violent nature. He wondered how the hell this exact, specific vampire found him. He didn't exactly seem to be the brightest bulb.</p><p>Dean had his knives on the table beside the bed, along with the water bottle and his gun, but none of those would be helpful against a damn vampire. And he didn't exactly have a machete handy. He had to think quickly and use what he did have.</p><p>He swung his legs over, wincing at the almost debilitating pain that came from placing them on the floor and stood, directly in front of the bedside table.</p><p>As the vampire lunged toward him, teeth bared, Dean kicked back with his good leg at the table as hard as he could, snapping one of the legs clean off. He ducked under the vampire's head that was rushing to meet his shoulder and grabbed the now broken off table leg as he slid forward between the stumbling vampire flying face-first into the wall and the bed.</p><p>When the vamp regained his balance and swung around on the hunter, he held out the table leg like a baseball bat and used all of the strength he could muster to smack it across his face.</p><p>By some miracle, despite Dean's ailing and weak state, the adrenaline was enough to land the blow, sending the vamp flying over the bed, landing on the edge but rather gracelessly falling off the other side, sliding to the floor with a thud.</p><p>Before the vampire could even stand, Dean had rounded the bed and pulled out the remaining roll of medical bandages that Lucifer had brought him. He sat his good leg on the monster's stomach, pressing him flat to the floor with only his neck and head slammed upward against the portion of the bed frame, and he began to wrap the bandages around its neck, basically tying it to the bed.</p><p>Fortunately for him, there was enough of the bandages left to create a thick enough collar for the vamp to thrash his way out of.</p><p>Realizing that this vamp had claws, claws that his leg had already been familiar with, Dean quickly went back to the contents that had fallen off of the now broken table onto the ground and picked up his larger of the two knives.</p><p>-</p><p>Lucifer had hoped to leave the base unnoticed. It was sort of his specialty, considering he could fly and therefore disappear in the blink of an eye.</p><p>However, he was never fast enough to outrun Kevin Tran's blinking eyes.</p><p>"What are you making, Lucifer?" The familiar voice came from behind, causing Lucifer to drop the wooden spoon he held into the pot, frowning as it completely submerged itself under the bubbling liquid.</p><p>"Well, I was making chicken noodle soup until you interrupted me," Lucifer grumbled like a child as he went over to wash his hands. He didn't have to look to feel the prophet's eyes follow him.</p><p>"Chicken noodle soup, huh. Making it for yourself?"</p><p>"You know I don't eat, Kevin."</p><p>"Mmhmm. That's what I thought, except that pot is far too small for you to be making that soup for a group of people. That's a single serving."</p><p>Lucifer walked back and reached his hand into the boiling water, pulling the spoon back out, deciding to leave this part out when he gave it to the stranger. He knew the second Kevin walked in the kitchen that he was found out, but it had been worth a shot at feigning innocence regardless.</p><p>"He's sick, Kevin." He sighed, finally facing the kid. Kevin was probably twenty-six now, but he would always see him as a kid because that's how he was when he met him.</p><p>Kevin rolled his eyes, though they weren't genuinely upset. "I don't understand your fascination with him. You found him, you saved him, and he hates you. Just leave it at that. You have plenty of people here who love you."</p><p>Lucifer shrugged defensively. "I know, but there's something different about this one. He knew who I was, but at the same time, thought I was someone completely different."</p><p>"And just like the first time you told me, it still doesn't make any sense."</p><p>"I know. It's… complicated. But I just want to help him."</p><p>Kevin thrust his arms out to his sides in exasperation. "Then heal him! Heal him, or kidnap him and bring him here and heal him."</p><p>Lucifer shook his head, firm in his morals. "He doesn't want me to heal him. He doesn't even want me to touch him. I won't make him go through something he doesn't want. Bringing him here would only make him freak out more, and I don't want him to hurt somebody here." He turned back to the pot. "So, I'm trying to win him over."</p><p>Kevin put a hand on his shoulder. "You can't save everyone, Lucifer. Some people are lost causes. This guy sounds downright loopy."</p><p>"He sort of is. I wish he'd just let me heal him, I really do, but I won't do it if he really doesn't want me to."</p><p>Kevin just sighed, admitting defeat, and he went over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a tupperware container. "Promise me that he isn't more trouble than he's worth."</p><p>Lucifer smiled at his young friend. "All you humans are more trouble than you're worth."</p><p>-</p><p>Sam felt dread when he woke up the following morning, all on his own.</p><p>He had been hoping to wake up to Dean rolling his eyes and calling him "Samantha" for worrying so much or to Cas opening his door with a relieved if not embarrassed smile on his face.</p><p>But neither of those things happened.</p><p>He knew he didn't need to run around looking for him in the bunker as though Cas wouldn't have woken him up. He knew that there was something that the angel wasn't saying, something that made him more worried, but he couldn't be too mad that he wasn't telling him. He was probably just trying to avoid making the situation worse.</p><p>So Sam, keeping his friend in mind, went into the kitchen and brewed a fresh pot of coffee, getting two mugs and carrying them out to the main room.</p><p>He saw Castiel, alert and staring directly at the staircase, and it just served to make him sadder than before as he came up behind him and pushed the coffee mug around his neck and directly in front of his face, under his nose.</p><p>Cas jumped a bit, so focused on waiting for Dean to come home, that he hadn't sensed Sam come up behind him, but he took the coffee gratefully. He didn't need to eat or drink, but after all the times he'd split a beer with the brothers he'd grown to enjoy their rituals of constantly drinking something.</p><p>"How did you sleep?" Castiel's question was earnest. He really cared about both of the brothers, even if he had an apparent preference. But he wanted to first and foremost take care of Sam, who was bound to have a whole new set of problems with Dean currently missing.</p><p>Sam grunted behind him. "Pretty well, considering."</p><p>Cas resumed his attention on the stairs. "That's good."</p><p>The silence that followed was tense and awkward. Sam waited to finish his coffee before he spoke again. "I want you to tell me. I want to know what we could be facing here. And don't ask what I'm talking about; you know what I'm talking about." He put a hand on Cas' shoulder. "I just want the truth. All of it. Please. Why is this time so different?"</p><p>Castiel knew he couldn't shy away from this question or lie as he had last night. Though the matter felt a bit personal, a bit private, he knew that this would be the only time it would be necessary to share it with someone else.</p><p>"Do you remember that day in the hotel room when I told you that Dean and I share a more profound bond?"</p><p>Sam laughed at that, but it carried dark memories. "Yes, that was when I lacked my soul."</p><p>"Yes," Cas nodded grimly. He was relatively happy they were having the conversation now when he couldn't see Sam's face. "It wasn't just a slight at the two of us and our friendship; it was genuine. Ever since I raised him from hell, we've been a bit… connected. At least, for me. Since I'm the one who raised him."</p><p>"Connected?"</p><p>"I can feel it if he's in the same room, the same building as me. I can't quite describe it. It's just a knowledge that I have. I can also feel if he's in distress or if there's darkness tugging at him. When he bore the Mark of Cain, and when Michael had possessed him, I felt that."</p><p>"So you sensed he wasn't in the bunker." Sam paused for a minute, his stomach dropping. "Did you sense he was in distress? Is that what it is?"</p><p>Cas shook his head, not looking away from his coffee mug. "It's different than that. It's like the bond is… gone. It isn't an unsettling feeling of dread or despair or pain to the same extent that it isn't the lightness and calm I feel when he's near. It's… negative. It's just hollow, you know, empty."</p><p>Sam nodded slowly, knowing the angel couldn't see him. Did that mean the connection was gone? He didn't want to ask because he felt like he already knew the answer, and it wasn't that. </p><p>"Have you felt it before?"</p><p>Castiel visibly stiffened, and Sam didn't like what that entailed.</p><p>"Yes. A few times."</p><p>"Cas."</p><p>He was quiet again.</p><p>"Castiel!"</p><p>Cas rarely heard Sam use his full name. He thought that the only thing more unnerving would be if Dean used it.</p><p>"I've felt it before on a few occasions. The first time was when Zachariah sent him to a future that never occurred. He brought him back mere moments after he left, but I felt it when he was gone, enough so that I recognized that he had been gone at all and whisked him away from the hotel room.</p><p>"The second time I felt it was after I pulled away when Dean escaped from Purgatory. When I was in Purgatory alone. It was like he just couldn't be reached.</p><p>"Then it started happening more commonly. When I was human, it was there, but differently, that was simply because I had lost my angelic powers and sensitivities. I felt it again when Metatron killed him, and it lasted even after we found him as a demon, and it didn't let go until he had been turned back into a human. I even felt it when I woke in the Empty. I felt it when you and Dean went to hell, and I went back into the Empty, I felt it when he went over to Apocalypse World with Arthur Ketch, and I felt it once or twice for short bursts even when we were fighting or when I was away from you."</p><p>Sam drank it all in. He was putting together a pattern, and he could guess at what those other times were. Likely, when they went to that haunted house and Dean killed himself and spoke to Billie, and the time they followed a case that Bobby and Rufus worked back in the day, and he went to see the souls trapped there.</p><p>"You're describing times when Dean was inaccessible." Sam gathered, that being the common denominator. "So, that means he's inaccessible now?"</p><p>Castiel nodded. He had wondered the same thing. After all, he felt it when Dean was in hell, but not when he was in heaven. He had wondered if the difference was that if Cas tried to go after him, he would be unable to, for any number of reasons.</p><p>"So, Cas, that means our options are that he's either a demon, he's been sent through time but not returned--at least, not yet, he's in Purgatory or hell, he's in an alternate universe, or he's…" he couldn't finish the sentence but it hung gracelessly in the air between them.</p><p>He's dead.</p><p>"Or something else entirely, something new that would make him... inaccessible, as you said," Castiel interjected, not wanting to dwell on the worst of those options for any longer.</p><p>Sam wasn't having it. He wasn't going to sit around, thinking his brother was dead, and he wasn't going to let Cas give up hope either. He knew how much Castiel loved Dean, and he wouldn't let him spiral. Not now. Dean hadn't even been gone a day; they still had options.</p><p>"Well, wherever he is, if he's inaccessible, so to speak, then he certainly couldn't take his car with him."</p><p>Castiel stood as quickly as Sam's new lead hit his ears. "You're right. If we can find his car, then we can find out where he went." He abandoned his lukewarm coffee on the table.</p><p>As Sam made it for the stairs, Castiel caught his arm and motioned to him. Sam looked down at himself, confused before he realized he was barefoot, wearing boxer shorts. "I suppose I should change before we go." He said sheepishly, and he could see Cas trying to stifle a humorous smile.</p><p>As Sam walked back to the hallway, he heard Cas's voice follow him. "You know, I could be wrong."</p><p>Sam didn't respond, just continued walking, but what he wanted to say was, "we both know you're not."</p><p>-</p><p>When Lucifer flew into the stranger's cabin, well, it was his cabin technically, but he wasn't the one staying in it; he was shocked at what he saw.</p><p>The man was awake, sitting up and eyeing him. Still, Lucifer's attention was quickly drawn to the vampire thrashing violently, his neck bound to the bedpost with the bandages Lucifer brought.</p><p>The strangest thing about the sight, however, was that the vampire didn't have any hands.</p><p>"I see you've been busy." Dean heard Lucifer's voice come out of his mouth as soon as he had clocked the vamp on the floor, and strangely it sounded… proud or impressed.</p><p>"I made do." The stranger grunted awkwardly. Lucifer turned around to shut the door that had been open since the vampire first came in, but he noticed the two bloody hands that had been haphazardly tossed outside, probably from the man's position on the bed.</p><p>"You should have called for me," Lucifer added simply as he went to the vampire and snapped his fingers, the vampire disappearing with a dry puff. Dean was a bit grateful that he went like that, like the angels Lucifer killed in Apocalypse World, rather than in a spew of blood and guts… like when he killed Cas.</p><p>Both the bad memory and the show of power made him as uneasy as he had been the first time they met here, but he reminded himself that Lucifer killed a vampire and not Dean. He saved Dean. So what, he killed a vampire? Dean killed vampires.</p><p>Dean couldn't do it by snapping his fingers, though.</p><p>"I made do." Dean reiterated, this time with more force and spite.</p><p>Lucifer let out a laugh at that, earning an almost incredulous look from the stranger. "Yeah, I can tell. Let me guess, not your first time facing monsters?"</p><p>The stranger just looked away, almost like a pouty child. It seemed like he noticed that too because he dropped his eyebrows and flattened the tense frown on his face so that it was very thin and humorless. For the first time, he didn't look terrified or furious.</p><p>Lucifer would take that as a win.</p><p>"I brought you some soup." He added, bending over to set it on the edge of the bed. To his credit, he really was keeping his distance from Dean, having to stretch forward to even reach the bed.</p><p>Dean reached forward tentatively and snatched the soup that was in a tupperware back toward him quickly. He popped open the lid and just started drinking from it.</p><p>"Oh, I'll get you a spoon!" Lucifer's face lit up with a bit of embarrassment as he disappeared and then reappeared in a matter of seconds, tossing Dean a plastic spoon. "Sorry, I don't really eat anything, so sometimes I forget that humans have strange-"</p><p>"Why are you so nice to me?" The stranger interrupted Lucifer's self-conscious rambling. This time it was apparent, he was staring at him with a new level of incredulity that Lucifer didn't even receive when trying to explain to humans that angels were real.</p><p>"Why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>Dean blinked at the archangel, still keeping his distance. Every fiber of Dean's hunter-instincts wanted to scream and lunge at the face of the man before him. The man who struck such terror in him for so long.</p><p>But now? The only thing intimidating about him was a collection of old memories of somebody else who just happened to look the same.</p><p>Dean was usually pretty good at figuring out if someone was trustworthy, and Lucifer seemed to be…</p><p> </p><p>Dammit. No. Lee. Lee was the perfect example. Dean couldn't just start trusting whoever he wanted. How many times had he burned by deciding to trust shady people? He trusted Michael to give him back control of his body. He trusted Gadreel not to kill Kevin. And those were the obvious ones. You obviously don't trust angels, especially ones you only trust in desperation. This situation was just desperation.</p><p>Lee had been someone he thought he could always trust. Lee was human, he was a hunter, he was a friend, but then, in the end, he betrayed Dean too.</p><p>How could he trust himself to know who to trust at all?</p><p>"Because you're Lucifer," was Dean's retort. "Because you're an archangel, specifically, you are Lucifer, the archangel. So why?"</p><p>Lucifer bit his lip and stared at the stranger suspiciously. "You have a lot of run-ins with archangels?"</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. This wasn't a fun chat; this was a hunter and something that should be hunted. He picked at the soup with his spoon. "I've had plenty. Too many, actually."</p><p>Lucifer had no clue what he stumbled upon in that river, because dammit if everything the man said wasn't more and more intriguing and vague and mysterious. Gabriel had been dead for centuries, and Michael had been dead for about sixty years now. The only brother he had left was a nomad who lived in isolation, guarding his treasure hoard like some mythological dragon, and Lucifer had honestly never seen this man in his life.</p><p>So what the fuck was he talking about? Unless he was some immortal being, it didn't make any damn sense. And Lucifer could see his form; he was no monster, he was just plain human.</p><p>"You're a strange man, I'll give you that," the archangel mused. "And you're stubborn too. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a hunter." The raised eyebrow he shot the human left him red in the face.</p><p>"Yeah, I am. All the more reason I can take care of myself!" God, what had this devolved into? Dean felt like he was arguing with his father or his brother. When did this stop being a "screw-you-literal-Satan" argument and start being "get-out-of-my-room-mom"?</p><p>"I'm sure you can. You did quite a bang-up job with that vampire. But I'm sure you'd be much better taking care of yourself if you took the time to actually take care of yourself."</p><p>Dean's eyes shot to his leg. He had a point, as much as he hated to admit it. But he didn't say anything, and that said everything.</p><p>The archangel's shoulders drooped. "Okay, I get it. I do. I just want to understand what you are."</p><p>Dean was caught off guard, not expecting nor understanding the question. "What am I?" He asked before he could stop himself and continue acting like the brooding stranger he had been.</p><p>Lucifer nodded exasperatedly. "You recognized me but then described me as someone else entirely! That makes no sense. Unless, of course, you're a…"</p><p>As he began to speak out the joking phrase, everything seemed to stop around him. It was ridiculous, right?</p><p>But no, the narrowed eyes on the stranger told him everything.</p><p>"You're from another universe, aren't you?!" Of course. Of course, he was! That's literally the only explanation for recognizing him. How did he miss that?</p><p>Probably because that didn't happen. People don't just travel between worlds. Most worlds weren't even aware there were others out there.</p><p>Maybe there was a reason that a man who managed to travel through worlds just so happened to travel here. While this world was in the process of being ravaged by Purgatory souls.</p><p>This time when the stranger didn't respond, Lucifer felt his first real annoyance with him. This was serious, this was a big deal, and his curiosity was through the roof, but the stranger just stared at him blankly.</p><p>"Fine. Fine, don't say anything. Wait here until you die from all the damage you've done to yourself, or until some other monster breaks in and kills you." Lucifer spun on his heels as if he was going to storm out the door, but remembering he was a damn archangel halfway through that, he instead did a complete three-sixty and continued. "And another thing, this self-destructive, stubborn act is probably what got you into this mess in the first place. I know damn well that you're from another world. Hell, I should have known yesterday morning when you first woke up and saw me. Well, good luck with your last few days alive," he huffed before finally leaving.</p><p>Lucifer didn't know it, but Dean had never liked him as much as he did during that rant.</p><p>The Lucifer he was used to was evil, vile, wicked, and cruel, using fear and intimidation and hate. And though all he had seen of this Lucifer was kindness up until now, it was when Lucifer snapped that finally let Dean view him as someone new, a new Lucifer that he didn't know.</p><p>The way he yelled at him was the way Sam or Cas would yell at him. It was frustration and impatience. That's it. And true, there was a big chance that he was on his own now, having managed to piss off the one being who wanted to help him, but that was the moment he needed to really see that Lucifer wasn't evil. God, that was a foreign thought.</p><p>So he fell into another bout of restless sleep, and when he woke, it was light again, which didn't bode well for him, considering Lucifer left at sunset.</p><p>He'd been sleeping way too much; it wasn't healthy. His brain lived amidst thick fog, and all he wanted to do was sleep until the pain went away.</p><p>He began to fear that if he went to sleep, he might not wake up.</p><p>Water. He needed water desperately. He was overheating and thirsty and had somehow drained all of the water Lucifer brought him during his fits of sleep. The fact that it had not miraculously refilled only served to remind him that he was so blind with hatred that he chased off the one person who was capable and willing to help him.</p><p>Except, he still had himself. That had to be enough for now. He wasn't going to get anywhere sitting in bed in this cabin and wondering which time he dozed off would be his last.<br/>He hesitantly stood, almost passing out from the pain that sprouted from both his leg and his head.</p><p>He grabbed his knives and his gun and tucked them all into his waistband. He hobbled over to his boots and jacket tossed on the floor in front of the fire yesterday and put them on, repositioning the placement of his knives to his jacket pockets.</p><p>Slowly, he made his way to the door.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks so much for reading!!! Comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Stories That Get Told</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean and Lucifer finally have a conversation about their unique situation</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean quickly realized this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. Not that he expected it to be easy, just that he didn't know it would be so damn hard.</p><p>It was a bit concerning that his vision was blurry, and the sweltering heat of the day did not do much to make him feel better. Even though he was in the woods, with trees and shade, it was proving much worse than a couple days ago when he first arrived in that exposed field.</p><p>He also didn't have the gash in his leg when he made his first trek, and he could feel the lack of any genuine progress he was making.</p><p>He closed his eyes again for a minute as he leaned against a tree for respite and opened them to see Sam and Cas right in front of him.</p><p>"Jesus Christ!" He shouted reflexively. He rubbed his eyes and looked again and saw there was no one there.</p><p>God, he was delirious and dying and overheated and exhausted, and now apparently haunted by the ghosts of his family.</p><p>As he began to walk again, he could hear them talking to him, even though he couldn't see them and, oh yeah, they weren't there!</p><p>"Maybe this is what it's like to lose your mind, Dean," the ghost voice of his brother said as if he were walking beside him on his right.</p><p>"You're not real," Dean mumbled to himself, periodically looking to his side as if hoping to see Sam actually walking alongside him.</p><p>"Of course we're not." Cas' deep, calming voice came from his left, and this time Dean almost gave himself whiplash from looking to see if he was there.</p><p>He was not.</p><p>Dean brought his hands to his head and beat it a little with his palms. He was alone; there was no one here. Sam and Cas were home. He needed to keep walking, to get out of here.</p><p>"It was pretty stupid of you not to let Lucifer heal you," Sam's disembodied voice continued to his right.</p><p>Dean knew if this was actually Sam, he would never say that, but the lines between reality and his head were blurred. "I'm the only one he's yet to wear to the prom out of all of us. I'm not letting him have three for three."</p><p>"He only wanted to heal you, man. He wasn't asking to jump your bones."</p><p>"Why the hell did you word it like that?! That's disgusting, Sam."</p><p>"I didn't word it like that; you did," was Sam's simple reply. Dean turned to gawk at his brother, only to be reminded there was no one there. "You said it yourself, Dean, we're not real."</p><p>Dean bit his lip and trudged forward, slowly, not dignifying his own delirium with a response this time.</p><p>"You should turn back and go to that cabin," Cas's voice chimed in again, and Dean squeezed his eyes shut, both wanting them to go away and desperately wanting them to be real. "You shouldn't be walking in this state."</p><p>"I don't have another choice."</p><p>"You could call Lucifer," Sam suggested.</p><p>This time Dean was aware enough not to try and search for his brother's face, but he did respond just as exasperatedly as if he was really there. "You're out of your mind!"</p><p>"Dean, Lucifer means you no harm," Cas cautioned.</p><p>"How the hell do you know that?"</p><p>"I don't," the angel responded plainly. "You do. We're not here, Dean. You're talking to yourself. You're arguing with yourself."</p><p>"It's actually kind of funny."</p><p>"Sam, I will kick your ass," Dean warned, but he hadn't felt this happy since he got here. Sure, slowly bleeding out in the river had been peaceful, but now he felt more sure. Even though the voices of his family were all in his head, at least they were here. How pathetic is that?</p><p>"You can't. I don't currently have one," the voice teased.</p><p>Dean's enjoyment was quickly interrupted by a rustling in the brush in front of him. He stopped one hand instinctively over the gun in his waistband and one covering his stomach, trying not to keel over from adjusting to the sudden pain.</p><p>A werewolf, teeth bared and eyes glowing, leaped out in front of him. Dean froze as it glowered at him, about to pounce.</p><p>Just before it did, Dean saw Sam, like he really saw him, standing behind the wolf and sternly commanding, "you have silver bullets. Use them."</p><p>Dean did as he was told, and he pulled out his gun, firing two shots into the torso of the monster in mid-air, causing him to drop dead on the grass.</p><p>He looked at his brother with awe. He looked around and saw that Cas wasn't there, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He could see his brother, Sam, was talking to him.</p><p>As quickly as he assessed the situation and questioned his ever-worsening mental stability, a vampire jumped out a few feet from where the werewolf had done the same.</p><p>Again, Sam, almost having teleported or something was behind the vampire. "You were smart enough last time to use what you have. Think."</p><p>Dean ducked a clawed hand swiping at his head, and rounded about to face where she ended up, Sam somehow still behind her when he looked back up. "Come on, Dean. You don't have a machete, but you don't need to kill it to get away, do you?"</p><p>He was right. Dean reached for his larger knife, and this time when the vamp ran toward him, he stuck her with it, into her neck, twisted it, and ripped it out.</p><p>The knife wasn't large enough to cut her head clean off, but the injury it caused made her unable to keep her head up, and she fell to the forest floor, thrashing her limbs. Dean did the best he could to sprint and get away from the monster, feeling sure enough that she wouldn't be able to recover regardless.</p><p>About to celebrate a victory of a job surprisingly well done, all thanks to a strange apparition of his brother, he didn't even notice as he ran right into another kind of monster.</p><p>Leviathan.</p><p>Sam was again behind it, staring at Dean with that same stony expression he had while coaching him through the other monsters. "This is where it gets tricky, Dean. Because if you can't find a way to win…"</p><p>"Find a way to survive." Cas replaced Sam, standing in the same spot he had been standing in and finishing his sentence, Sam now nowhere to be seen.</p><p>Dean had no time to react as the creature reared her true, terrifying visage, bent down while violently grabbing his neck and arm, and bit into his torso, shredding through skin and muscle. Something must have spooked her off, though, as she didn't finish her snack and ran off, disappearing through the trees.</p><p>The wounded hunter--and that was putting it incredibly lightly, was now lying on the forest floor, staring up at the bright sun and squinting uncomfortably against it as he struggled to breathe through the blood coming up through his mouth.</p><p>His friend's face appeared above his head and blocked out the sun, and it made Dean smile through the pain and panic setting in.</p><p>"Dean, you're losing a lot of blood. What you need to do now is-"</p><p>"Stop it, Cas," Dean muttered, coughing out blood beside him and vomiting up bile after. He didn't want Cas to just give him another weird fever-induced survival instinct lesson like Sam had. He didn't have the strength to look down and see what remained of his torso. "Just… help me."</p><p>The angel cocked his head, emotionless. "I'm trying to."</p><p>Dean shook his head. "I'm dying, Cas. It's okay, but I need you to help me." He feebly reached up a hand, wishing for Cas to take it and hold onto it and help him die.</p><p>"Dean. I'm not really here," Castiel reminded him. "You may be okay with dying, but we won't be," he reprimanded in a change of subject.</p><p>"I don't… I don't understand." Dean just wanted to sleep. He was so tired. He just wanted Cas to carry him to bed.</p><p>"You need to find a way home, Dean. Don't live for yourself; live for us." Dean blinked up at the man, still almost lifeless and robotic, just as Sam had been. When they were only the voices, they had more life and personality. "Sam and I will be devastated if we never know what happened to you. You owe us that. You owe us."</p><p>For once, Dean was entirely aware that even though he was looking into Cas' eyes, eyes he had looked into for so long, that always made him feel at home, that this wasn't Cas, but himself. A piece of his dying mind, telling him that he owed them that. He owed them.</p><p>Panic started to set in as he realized that meant he couldn't die. "What do I do? There's no getting up from this, Cas."</p><p>"You know there is. He told you to ask for help."</p><p>Suddenly, Cas was gone, and he was staring up at the sky, once more completely alone. He reached upward as though he could grab at the Cas that wasn't there and had never been.</p><p>At first, he didn't understand what he had meant. But it hit him fast and violently.</p><p>He could only pray that he hadn't really burned all his bridges.</p><p>"Lucifer…"</p><p>-</p><p>Lucifer was not surprised to feel Kevin's presence in the early morning. The archangel had been sitting on the roof alone all night, as he did every night, keeping watch since he didn't require sleep, but he had spent the last night feeling guilty, angry, and sad all in one.</p><p>"You're up rather early this morning, Kevin." Lucifer nodded to him as he handed him a steaming mug of coffee and sat next to him, legs also dangling over the edge of the building like Lucifer's own.</p><p>"Yeah, well, I could tell you were upset last night. I take it your meeting with the stranger didn't go well?"</p><p>"That's an understatement," Lucifer said with a roll of his eyes. "I figured out how he knew me, by the way." Kevin's head perked up in interest. "He's from another universe."</p><p>Kevin spit out the coffee he had in his mouth, and Lucifer laughed. "Another universe? You can't be serious."</p><p>"Oh, but I can be."</p><p>"Alternate universes? They're real?"</p><p>"Yes. Another product of my father."</p><p>"Yeah, well, your father sounds like a real dick," Kevin mused, causing Lucifer to crack another smile.</p><p>Everyone who knew Lucifer knew about this world's ongoing apocalyptic destruction. God was trying to clear out this world, so he slowly sicced Purgatory souls on humanity. Vampires, werewolves, skinwalkers, shifters, you name it.</p><p>"He still doesn't want me to heal him, but do you know what I saw? That man has a bum leg, a couple of knives, a gun, severe blood loss, and deliria. Yet, somehow he managed to take down a vampire single-handedly by breaking off the leg of a table, binding his neck to the bed with the cloth bandages I brought him, and cutting off his hands so that he couldn't escape."</p><p>Kevin stared at him, mouth open. "Okay, maybe I can see why you like him so much. Dammit, he'd be useful around here."</p><p>"I know! He seems to understand things about the world, even this one, that I'm not sure I do yet. Monsters aren't exactly my expertise."</p><p>"Well yeah, but you can snap your fingers and blow them up."</p><p>"Sure, one or two at a time. I know nothing about defending people against armies of them."</p><p>The prophet eyed him curiously. "And you think he does?"</p><p>Lucifer just blinked. Actually, no, he hadn't thought of that, but now that he mentioned it, it seemed plausible. If the man could do… that… to a vampire while running low on sanity and resources, what could he do if he had those things?</p><p>Kevin noticed Lucifer's surprised look. "Well, if you didn't think it before, now you do."</p><p>Lucifer shook his head. "No. He doesn't want anything to do with me, and he's the most stubborn person I've ever met. He hates me so much he'd rather die than allow me to get close to him."</p><p>Kevin shrugged. "Well, you can leave him to it if he wants. It's a shame, though."</p><p>They started off the roof together in silence, drinking their coffee. After a while, Kevin stood up and took Lucifer's mug silently before turning to the door that led inside.</p><p>Lucifer grabbed Kevin's shirt by instinct. "Wait!"</p><p>"It's empty, Lucifer."</p><p>"No, not the coffee, shut up!" Lucifer hissed.</p><p>He heard a feeble voice ringing in his mind, a feeling of desperation and debilitating pain. It called his name.</p><p>It was the stranger.</p><p>"The man! He prayed to me!"</p><p>Kevin looked at him with equal surprise. "What did he say?"</p><p>"Just my name, but somethings wrong."</p><p>"What are you waiting for then?! Go help him!"</p><p>"Right!" Lucifer stood quickly. "Remember, if anything goes wrong-"</p><p>"Pray to you, and you'll come, yadda yadda, just fucking go already!"</p><p>Lucifer shut his eyes and let his wings transport him to where the prayer originated. He was standing in the forest, which was a bit surprising considering he assumed he would find the man in the cabin yet again.</p><p>But there he was. The stranger had his hand stretched to the sky weakly, and dear god, he was in a state.</p><p>He was bleeding profusely from his stomach, his intestine visible from the outside. He had blood in the corners of his mouth, and he was moving his lips up and down as if trying to say something, but nothing came out.</p><p>Damn "waiting for permission."</p><p>Lucifer rushed over and slid to his knees beside him, hovering his hands over his torso. He could feel his healing light pour into the stranger and spread through his body, knitting his skin back together, lifting a haze from his brain, and finally fixing that damn leg.</p><p>Dean blinked his eyes, unsure of who was above him. "Cas?" Was all he could think before he felt a relief push through him. His stomach no longer felt like it was being pulled apart, his head began to think clearer, and that damn leg stopped aching all at once.</p><p>It was now clear that Lucifer was standing above him, worry and fear darkening his face as he grabbed onto Dean's arm and pulled him into a standing position. God, it had been a while since standing felt easy and normal.</p><p>"Are you alright? Is there anything I missed?!" The archangel scanned Dean up and down, worriedly holding onto his forearms as he examined him. For once, Dean wasn't upset with him.

Through the healing, the clarity given to him helped him realize even more so now that this was not the devil he knew. This was Lucifer, an angel, fussing over a stubborn and rude human's well-being.</p><p>"I'm fine." Dean wasn't sure what to say, but it hadn't been that. His tone came off cold, and Lucifer let go of him in an instant, looking sad instead.</p><p>"Oh. I understand that…" but he couldn't finish what he had to say.</p><p>After Dean spoke, he saw a figure behind Lucifer, creeping up to him. The same damn Leviathan who ripped him apart had come back, probably to finish the meal, and was now stalking up to the angel.</p><p>She reared her head, and Dean, for once, didn't have to worry about his next move. His head was finally clear; the world was finally as it should be.</p><p>He tackled Lucifer to the ground; it seemed to be the only path where he could get the angel out of the way. They both scrambled to their feet and faced the monster, but Dean pushed Lucifer behind him and held out an outstretched hand in front of him in a protective gesture.</p><p>At the moment, it was a monster in front of him and a civilian behind him, though he knew very well Lucifer was no civilian. But he was also no monster, so his hunter instincts to protect those around him kicked in full throttle.</p><p>Lucifer, however, was not currently in tune with his own instincts.</p><p>He had already been shocked that the stranger prayed for him; he sort of thought he'd rather die bloody in the woods than be helped by Lucifer. And then, he pushed him out of the way.</p><p>The man. The one who despised him. Jumped on top of him to save him from getting hurt.</p><p>And, of course, it didn't end there. The stranger then pushed Lucifer behind him. No one does that. No one Lucifer had ever met, not even when he fought alongside his brothers centuries ago, had ever, EVER, pushed Lucifer behind themselves to protect him.</p><p>He wasn't sure he'd ever been the one being protected.</p><p>The Leviathan again had her eyes on the stranger, and Lucifer realized he wasn't focused enough to kill her in a snap. He needed focus and energy and strength, and right now, he was entirely out of it. But when she leapt toward the man, Lucifer shoved him out of the way, like he had done for him.</p><p>Dean hit the ground with a thud as he watched the Leviathan pounce on the archangel. "Lucifer!" Dean called out in concern, the emotion with that name feeling unfamiliar and odd.</p><p>But the archangel quickly gained control of the situation, and he proceeded to shove the monster away before snapping his fingers, and she exploded, black goo landing everywhere.</p><p>Dean stood and ran toward the angel, who was wiping the gross substance from his eyes. "Are you okay?" Dean surprised himself with his own concern and compassion for the man that just last night he had hated.</p><p>The angel looked at him, almost confused. "Of course. But that doesn't matter. What matters is-"</p><p>"It matters," Dean interrupted indignantly. God, it was weird saying this to Lucifer, but Dean's regained clarity and intelligibility were doing wonders to distance this Lucifer from the previous.</p><p>Lucifer cocked his head slightly but didn't argue. "I have to say, I am stunned you called for me."</p><p>Dean smiled. "I'm just glad I did," he joked, motioning to his leg. "I can't believe I let myself stay like that for three days." He hesitantly glanced into the angel's eyes. "Sorry about… all of that. I would say I wasn't thinking clearly, but I think that brain fog actually made me a lot nicer to you than I would have been if we had met on… better terms, I suppose?"</p><p>Lucifer laughed. Everything the stranger said only made him like and respect him more and more, completely forgetting how strange and hostile he had been the past couple of days. "I'm sure I deserved it. I was right, wasn't I?"</p><p>"Yes, I should have just let you heal me."</p><p>"Not about that."</p><p>"I should have… prayed to you sooner?"</p><p>"No--well, yes. Yes, you should have. But I'm talking about you being from another world."</p><p>Dean nodded grimly, almost having forgotten that Lucifer figured that out last night. To be fair, he struggled to remember most of the previous day as he hadn't been in a perfect state. "You were."</p><p>"Well, there's a survivor's camp base nearby; that's where I stay. I should take you there. It might be nice for you to get some food and water," Lucifer suggested, hoping to get over the last hurdle in befriending the stranger, which was convincing him to join him.</p><p>He held out a hand to touch Dean's shoulder, but he grabbed it by the wrist instinctually, awarding him with yet another shocked expression from the archangel. "How far is it?"</p><p>"By walking? I don't know, an hour, maybe a little longer? I can fly us there, that's why I was-"</p><p>"I understand," Dean said, dropping his hand. "But that's not how I roll. I can meet you there." He caught the confused and slightly offended look and added, "I've never been a fan of Angel Airways, okay? I can walk."</p><p>Lucifer paused in thought. "I'll walk with you then."</p><p>"You don't have to; I know how some angels find it… trivial."</p><p>Lucifer laughed a bit as they started forward. "Believe it or not, I've been with humans long enough to have to walk places sometimes. I can't exactly fly a group of fifty."</p><p>As Dean walked beside Lucifer, he noted how much easier this was than his much longer walk now a little over three days ago. He was a bit annoyed with his own stubbornness but was able to give himself some leeway as that five-hour walk he took was before he met the archangel in the first place.</p><p>"So, can I finally put a name to the face?"</p><p>"Huh?" Dean was startled out of thought.</p><p>Lucifer grinned at him humorously. "I have a friend back at the base who I told me about you, but I don't know your name, so I kept referring to you as 'the stranger' or just 'the man.'"</p><p>Dean forgot that Lucifer didn't know him. Of course, he didn't, they hadn't ever met before, but he didn't consider a lot of those factors.</p><p>He realized that Lucifer had no idea who he was. He had no idea who Sam and Cas were, no recollection of the things the other Lucifer had done, but more notably, he didn't know Dean's extensive history with heaven and hell.</p><p>If Lucifer didn't know who he was, he clearly didn't have the same one-true-vessel situation, which meant there was probably no apocalypse. He had no idea what Dean had been through, bearing the mark, becoming a demon, being a part of the freeing of the Darkness, being possessed by Michael, even just knowing Chuck.</p><p>"Dean. Dean Winchester." He responded, watching the angel's face for any signs that the name would sound familiar. To his credit, Lucifer's eyes grew, and he snapped his head to Dean in shock but kept walking.</p><p>"You're Dean Winchester?!"</p><p>Dean smiled grimly. "I suppose you do know some things about me then."</p><p>"Well, not really. Just that you're Michael's sword." He watched as Dean cringed at the statement. "But you're not even the Dean from this world, so I suppose I really know nothing."</p><p>"I was Michael's sword in my world too, but I never said yes to my Michael. In case you couldn't tell, I have a tough time trusting archangels." He jabbed Lucifer in the ribs, and the man loosened a bit, laughing.</p><p>Lucifer finally got the chance to ask what he was inquisitive about. "What changed your mind? About me?"</p><p>"Well, I think the clear, not fevered and crazy part of my brain was trying to remind me that I was in another world, and you were not, in fact, a wicked monster back from the dead, but a completely new being who was literally just helping me." The small smile Lucifer tried to hide didn't go unnoticed, and Dean just rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I was content to just die, but…"</p><p>What exactly could he say? In his final few minutes, he heard and then saw the ghosts of the two people he loved more than anything, trying to help him stay alive? And that when his angel looked at him, he wanted nothing more than to have him actually be there? So when he claimed that Dean had to live for them, he couldn't let him down?</p><p>Thankfully, Lucifer wasn't an idiot. "I'm guessing you've got people back home who depend on you?"</p><p>Dean shook his head. "I have people back home who love me. There's a difference. They don't need me there for protection; while I'm gone, they can protect themselves and each other. But the three of us have sort of been through a lot, and I knew that death might be the easy way out, but if I just let myself die, I'd be betraying them."</p><p>"How?" Lucifer's face was full of sadness and pity, and for once, that look didn't piss Dean off. "You don't owe your life to anyone but yourself."</p><p>Dean smiled at the memories of his family, working their way through his head. Sam by his side in the Impala's passenger seat, Cas in the back seat always so quiet. Sharing beers with them late at night, hunting with them in different cities. A faded, fuzzy memory of a young Sammy doodling on their dad's journal in a motel room. A faint, vague memory of an angel in a trenchcoat wrapping his arms around him and carrying him as he slept.</p><p>"You're wrong. I owe everything to my family, and the bare minimum I owe them is to stay alive long enough to tell them where I am, tell them I didn't mean to leave them." It was the last thing he'd ever wanted to do to them.</p><p>Lucifer looked at the man, now identified as Dean Winchester, in awe. This man clearly had many layers, and Lucifer only admired him more for everything he learned about him.</p><p>Dean stuffed his hands in his pockets and felt something around his knife. It was damp and crumpled, and he half-wondered if it was cash. But when he pulled it out and inspected it, he almost dropped it.</p><p>When Max called Dean and sent the hunter racing to stop him from going through a rift, Dean grabbed the closest jacket to him, one he had abandoned over a chair weeks ago.</p><p>The last time he wore this jacket was when Jody and the girls came to visit the bunker. They had such a good night that night; everyone was celebrating after a hunt and getting more than a little bit drunk.</p><p>Alex was snapping pictures with her polaroid and getting bullied for it endlessly, but Dean had all but forgotten the photo she took and gave him, one he shoved in his jacket pocket and forgot about, and now here it was.</p><p>It was damaged terribly, but he could still see enough of it to remember it very clearly.</p><p>They were all laughing, and they looked so genuinely happy. Sam was to his left, popping a champagne bottle, and the picture caught the explosion of it above him as he was squinting into what Dean remembered was followed by hysterical laughter. Cas was to his right; the picture caught him mid-laugh as Dean was in the middle, his own exploding champagne bottle evilly turned toward Cas' face and spraying him with the champagne. He had never seen Cas laugh so hard in his life before, and here it was, the picture of that frozen in time, and he couldn't even make out the angel's face.</p><p>All three of them looked so happy and carefree. Now the picture was ruined, having been nestled in the pocket of a jacket that he jumped into the river wearing.</p><p>Lucifer caught this moment and almost looked away, assuming it was personal, but drew his full attention to what Dean was holding when he saw the devastated look on his face.</p><p>"Dean? What's wrong?" He had actually enjoyed Dean's lazy smile as he spoke vaguely about the family he left behind. He looked at the photo Dean held, wet and corrupted. He could see the face of a man on the far right and could tell that he was tall as his head was positioned above the two watery blobs facing each other, but little else was clear.</p><p>"I had this. The whole time I was here, I had this, and it's gone." Dean's voice was desperate and sad, and Lucifer feared he might collapse to his knees.</p><p>"It's okay!" Lucifer rushed to soothe the man beside him. "I can fix it!"</p><p>Dean whipped his head to him, tears welling in his eyes but not slipping past, probably trained and conditioned not to over his lifetime.</p><p>Lucifer nodded reassuringly as Dean tentatively held out the photo. He took it gingerly, knowing it didn't matter if he ripped it now but not wanting Dean to be more upset.</p><p>Lucifer closed his eyes and let his power flow freely through his body and to his hands. He had performed many strange and frivolous miracles through his lifetime, but this one, however small, almost seemed more important than any other he'd done.</p><p>He unfurled his hands, the photo straightened in his palms, now flat, dry, and unharmed. He took a moment to examine it; his eyes were immediately drawn to Dean in the middle, holding an open champagne bottle over the man on the far left in the photo, who was laughing against the barrage of alcohol. There was so much joy in the picture, and Lucifer wasn't surprised that it was precious to Dean.</p><p>"This is your family?" Lucifer commented as he handed Dean back the unharmed photo, which he accepted gracefully like Lucifer was handing him gold.</p><p>Dean smiled at him gratefully, quickly refocusing on the image. "Yes. This tall guy here is my brother, Sam. And this is my best friend, Cas."</p><p>"Sam Winchester. Yes…" Lucifer stretched at the back of his neck awkwardly. He knew that name; it was the name of his sword, his true vessel.</p><p>Dean ignored it, knowing that Lucifer had nothing to do with the Winchesters here, so it didn't matter.</p><p>"I can see why you owe your life to them," Lucifer said kindly. "You all look so happy."</p><p>Dean nodded. Indeed, they had been through so much betrayal and death and grief together, but if someone looked at this photo, they wouldn't think anything of it; they would just see them as people—ordinary people living their lives.</p><p>"They're my life. We're hunters in my world." He eyed the image of Cas with a playful smirk. "Mostly."</p><p>Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "How are you mostly a hunter?"</p><p>Dean laughed. "Cas, this guy, he's a hunter in my book, but I'm not sure he will ever see himself that way." To aid Lucifer's other look, he added, "he's an angel."</p><p>"So you're friends with angels?!"</p><p>"An angel. One, singular angel. But yes. Is that so impossible?" Dean's voice was light and teasing.</p><p>"I assumed since you were a hunter, you'd see in black and white."</p><p>"I'm a hunter who's seen a little too much gray, Luc."</p><p>Immediately switching off the topic in response, his eyes widened, and he actually stopped walking to grab Dean's arm. "Luc?"</p><p>The hunter just smiled at him. "What, you rather I call you Luci?"</p><p>"No one has ever not called me Lucifer before."</p><p>"Well, hi, Dean Winchester, nice to meet you." He held out his arm in a mock sign of shaking, but Lucifer actually took it.</p><p>"It's nice. Luc. It has a good ring to it."</p><p>As they continued walking, Dean felt the need to justify himself, even though the archangel seemed like he couldn't be happier with the nickname. "Every time I meet an angel that I like, I sort of don't want to use their full name. I don't know why maybe it's because I've never called my brother 'Samuel.' I just don't want to use their full name." He gave Lucifer a dark look. "I don't want to associate you with my world's Lucifer anymore than I have to."</p><p>Lucifer nodded, remembering some of the things Dean had screamed at him when he first woke up. "You said… you said I possessed both of them, didn't you?" He vaguely remembered what Dean shouted at him before. Possessed and tortured the tall one and… possessed and killed the angel?</p><p>Dean nodded in confirmation. "We avoided the apocalypse because Sam said yes to being Lucifer's vessel and took control back, throwing him and Michael into the cage, but the death didn't stick. You possessed Cas when the Darkness got free and killed him a year later. That one didn't stick either.</p><p>This time Lucifer was even more stunned. "The Darkness is free?! My father locked her up before he created us."</p><p>Dean cringed, not sure if he should tell Lucifer that Chuck had help. "Yeah, well, I'm not your father's biggest fan at the moment."</p><p>Lucifer rolled his eyes in agreement. "No kidding. God is not at all how you'd expect him to be, Dean. He's ending this world. He might be ending them all."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"I'm sorry, you know?"</p><p>Dean took a breath. "Your dad? Chuck? He's the one who sent me here."</p><p>This time Lucifer completely stopped walking and just stared at him. He was beginning to realize just how right he had been to protect this man and just how important he may have been to his world. "Chuck sent you here? Do you know him?"</p><p>God, did he. He was beginning to worry that he knew more about Chuck than his own son. "I'm afraid so." He motioned for Lucifer to keep walking with him as he continued.</p><p>"When we first met him, we didn't know who he really was. He was posing as a prophet, Chuck, who wrote books about our lives. A few years later, we encountered an actual prophet named Kevin Tran and figured something must have happened to him for Kevin to come into his powers.</p><p>"After the Darkness, Amara, had been freed, he finally came out of hiding, but he was prepared to die and let her win. We convinced him to help us instead, but he lost and was really hurt. I was going to kill Amara and myself. Still, I managed to persuade her to reconcile with her brother instead, and they ran off to bond for four more years until Chuck finally came back and tried to turn us on each other when we stood up to him for putting us through everything.</p><p>"He's ending all of the worlds; you're right about that. And he's saved ours for last, both yours and mine. Yours, the one he trapped me in, is the one he's waiting to end right now. Once this world is gone, mine is next."</p><p>There was a lot from that story that Lucifer could bite on, but he decided to stick to the principle of the matter. "How did he get you here?"</p><p>"He manipulated a fellow hunter's actions so that he would happen upon a rift and call me about it, and then sent a farmer after him-for trespassing. I assume-so that he'd drop his phone, and I'd think he went through the rift, so I raced to get him."</p><p>"But your hunter friend is fine?"</p><p>"I'm not sure," Dean admitted honestly. "He's not here, that's for sure, but there was something Chuck said when I got here and saw him. He told me he sent me here to find a way to torment my family back home and me while devoting his attention to this world, which makes sense for him. I'm stuck here until I eventually die, and Sam and Cas are stuck back home, unable to reach me, and all that bullshit, but Chuck specifically said that they wouldn't know what happened to me. Just that I'd upped and disappeared."</p><p>Lucifer started to understand. "So you're worried that he's going to do something to your friend because there is no way for your family to live in confusion if he tells them what he saw."</p><p>"Exactly," Dean answered, worry growing in his stomach. This time when he glanced down at the photo, he just felt nervous and sad, seeing their happy faces, so he finally folded it nicely and put it in his pocket. "Max is a good kid. I swear, every time I try to help someone, like the prophet Kevin I mentioned before, I just end up screwing them over."</p><p>This time, Dean noticed Lucifer tensing a bit and wondered if he had done the same during his story. He caught his swinging elbow and glared at him, causing Lucifer's face to turn red. "Okay, I don't know how you're reading me so well, and it's freaky."</p><p>"It's a gift," Dean replied dryly. "Now, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I think I should warn you; I know Kevin. The prophet, Kevin Tran. He's actually in the base that we're going to."</p><p>Dean stared at him with wide eyes, and Lucifer guessed that he had been right in assuming that Dean's Kevin Tran was dead. He thought so when he first mentioned him because a sad look covered his face—a guilty look.</p><p>Dean wasn't sure what to do with his hands. They wouldn't stop fidgeting and shaking during the silence that followed Lucifer's little insight. He was going to see Kevin. Kevin Tran. Not his Kevin, but a Kevin. Alive. God, how old would he be now? His late twenties?</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean was surprised to hear the compassion in Lucifer's voice.</p><p>"I failed Kevin a lot. And then, in the end, he was killed by an angel I trusted, an angel I tricked my brother into letting in. It was the only way to save him, but it was wrong, and Kevin paid for it. I paid for it."</p><p>Lucifer was quiet. He knew what it was to fail people; it was the nature of the position his father put him in.</p><p>As if reading his mind, Dean asked a question that Lucifer had been pondering after what he told him.</p><p>"You know, Luc, Chuck said there was a specific reason this world was special, a reason that he wanted it to have a slow death. It was the only time he broke from his normal, cocky, cheery asshole demeanor. What did he mean?"</p><p>"I didn't fit into his story. I figured out pretty early on that there were other worlds, other "me's," you know, Lucifer, and I wasn't like any of them." He shot Dean a humorless smile. "I mean, I definitely wasn't like yours, from what you've said."</p><p>Dean nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely not like mine."</p><p>"He had these worlds, and in each one, he wanted to create a story, you know that already. And in his story, I became a villain. He actually loved the original Lucifer, but when he got lost in his storytelling, he stopped caring. But I wasn't a very good villain because I loved humanity. Humans were just so vibrant and kind and full of life and heart." Lucifer had a growing smile on his face and a light in his eyes as he spoke, and Dean just smiled while staring at him.</p><p>He had never expected Lucifer to be so… infatuated with humanity. It was… sweet? Was that the word?</p><p>How often would he use that word now? Jesus, what was he becoming?</p><p>"My father hated that I loved humans as much as I did, and he banished me to the cage for centuries, lying about me to my brothers and to humans. I became 'the devil' and had no say in it," Lucifer continued with spite.</p><p>Dean felt guilty for screaming at him so much before. He called him a monster, and he wasn't a monster at all. Chuck just wanted him to be.</p><p>"My brother, Michael, he found out the truth about me and let me out of the cage, and Chuck tried to kill us both for his efforts. Michael helped me escape."</p><p>Dean knew that look. He knew it because he had lost Sam so many times before. That was the look of a brother who lost a brother. "I'm sorry, Luc."</p><p>Lucifer shook his head, breaking from his mood. "I know I could blame myself, but I know whose fault this was. Chuck isn't just the one who… destroyed…my brother, but he's the one who made Michael sacrifice himself for me. He never would have saved me if Chuck hadn't put me in the cage and lied to them about it."</p><p>Lucifer frowned for a moment and reached into his own pocket, pulling out a necklace. It was odd to see. It looked like a kid's arts and crafts project. He handed it to Dean, who examined it closely. It was one long brown string with three small blue beads strung through and hanging from the middle. Dean looked at it intently before looking back up at Lucifer, as if conceding this weird guessing game.</p><p>The archangel gave him a sad little smile. "This was Michael's. When he broke me out of the cage, we got the chance to catch up for three days before our father caught up to us. He said that the centuries he spent with me locked in hell were this... prison of torment. This necklace was given to him by a child while wandering the earth, and he admired it for its simplicity. The child gave it to him, and it was the most valuable thing she could have given. So Michael gave this to me. He said it symbolized the most important thing he could give to me." Lucifer kicked the grass as he walked. "Sometimes I wonder if my brother would be alive had I just played into Chuck's game."</p><p>"Never think that," Dean demanded. "The things Chuck has done are on him."</p><p>Lucifer raised a discerning eyebrow at him. "Really now?" He asked sarcastically, knowing damn well this hunter was the type to blame himself for everything, just like Lucifer.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes; he couldn't believe just how much he had in common with Lucifer of all beings. "Yesterday, when you left the cabin, you said that my 'self-destructive stubborn act' is what got me in this mess, and you're right. I could have let Cas at least try and heal my leg, or I could have gone to the hospital like my brother wanted." He ran a hand through his hair, looking tired and distressed. "I was stupid, and Chuck was banking on it."</p><p>"Well, I'm not sure he necessarily cared about whether your leg was in good shape or not."</p><p>"That's not what I mean." He gave Lucifer a pointed look, but he was very quickly aware that the archangel already knew that. "When Max called me, I could have called Sam and Cas. I should have called Sam and Cas. It was stupid to try and do it by myself with my leg, but I did it anyway, all alone. I didn't leave a note; I didn't even call them and meet them there. I was so damn determined that I could do it. I could help him, by myself, even with my leg the way it was, and it bit me in the ass. Chuck knew if he could scare me enough, I would charge in blind and alone. I'm apparently both that reckless and that predictable."</p><p>The archangel pondered his words for a moment. It definitely hadn't been a smart move, not even calling his family, but he didn't believe that any of this could be Dean's fault. "I'm sure Chuck would have found another way around it. If you had waited for them, then maybe he'd send one of them here instead. Wouldn't that be worse?"</p><p>Lucifer was right about Dean's dedication and love for his family, as his face went pale. "I don't know what I'd do."</p><p>He figured it was about time to change the subject, now that they were almost at the base. "You know Dean, I'm curious. How many angels have you 'nicknamed'?" Dean shot him a confused glance. "You said you never use angel's full names. How many angels do you know back home?"</p><p>Dean smiled to himself. "Of course, there's Cas. That's a nickname for Castiel. Then there was Samandriel, who we called Alfie, Gabriel was Gabe, Michael was Mike, but only a couple times." He stared forward with a very bothered look. "Michael was not always a friend."</p><p>Castiel and Samandriel...two angels that Lucifer knew by name but had never seen. However, Dean apparently befriended Gabriel? And Michael, as he put it, "only a couple times"?</p><p>Chuck, the Darkness, archangels, prophets? Dean Winchester indeed led a busy and unfortunate life. One that Lucifer was almost excited and scared to get to know a little bit more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The photo referenced is actually based off of a photo taken of the actors themselves! They did a photoshoot for a magazine and there were two photos of them popping champagne and one of them was so cute that I applied it to their characters in the story. Misha was doubled back laughing and J2 just looked so happy so I wanted it to be a photo of their characters :) if you haven't seen it, google supernatural cast champagne photoshoot or something of the like, there are two separate ones but you'll know it when you see it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Don't Let It Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean is taken in by Lucifer and a large group of strangers, some with familiar faces, and immediately gets to work</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer had not warned him that the base was an entire school building, and he half wanted to slap him.</p><p>It was run down, clearly long since abandoned, as trees and leaves grew around the red brick it was made of. They were still in the woods, concealed by nature, and there was a whole school just waiting to be used as a safe space.</p><p>Lucifer led him inside the large double doors, opening them without so much as touching them. "Show off," Dean grumbled lightly as he followed him inside, earning yet another eye roll from the archangel.</p><p>It was quite the operation they were running. Halls were filled with people talking or eating or brooding in silence, and they all carried weapons and looked a bit disheveled. They would give Dean curious glances as he walked by, but they would smile or nod at Lucifer.</p><p>"So, you're the leader here then?" Dean gathered.</p><p>Lucifer nodded. "I protect them as best I can. The problem is that we've found almost no hunters to actually teach these people how to handle themselves."</p><p>Dean nodded unsurprised. The weapons the people were carrying were hardly correct, considering what they were fighting out there. A few rifles, pistols, knives, and--wait are those nunchucks? Nope, that wasn't going to cut it.</p><p>"Lucifer! And, the mysterious stranger from the woods, I presume?" The cheery albeit nervous Kevin Tran rounded the corner to them as they made their way further inside.</p><p>He looked older. Obviously, he was older, duh, but he just looked… older. Dean couldn't describe it. He was just older now.</p><p>Dean barely hesitated a second before charging Kevin and enveloping him in a hug.</p><p>"Whoa," Kevin said with a small laugh as he patted the strange man on the back. "You're a hugger, huh?"</p><p>Dean pulled away, slightly embarrassed but not at all regretting his actions.</p><p>Lucifer surprised him by adding, "no, he's not. He's from another universe, and he knows your doppelganger."</p><p>The hunter shot him an incredulous look. "Thanks a lot. That sounds totally sane."</p><p>Kevin didn't seem to notice the insanity of the statement, however. "My doppelganger?! Whoa, is he cool?"</p><p>"He's dead," Lucifer stated plainly, this time cowering away from the glare he got from the stranger. Kevin noted this new action with surprise and intrigue. Lucifer did not back down from anyone or anything, but the stranger from the woods had managed to make him feel guilty from a single stare.</p><p>"Technically, yes. He's dead." The man said, shaking his head disapprovingly at Lucifer, but there was no hostility in it. "But he was pretty cool," he added, turning back to Kevin.</p><p>Kevin just smiled warmly at him, and it made Dean's heart melt. It felt like it was just Kevin, his Kevin, back from the dead and here, growing up into a normal adult.</p><p>How old was he now? God, he had to be twenty-six, twenty-seven. That was crazy to Dean, but it was what he deserved. Kevin deserved to live to reach thirty, and now Dean was here to make sure of it.</p><p>"I'm Dean." He held out a hand, and Kevin shook it.</p><p>"I guess I don't need an introduction then, huh?" The prophet joked. He gave Lucifer an unreadable look and smiled back at Dean. "Why don't I show you around this place? Lucifer may be head honcho, but I'm the one who has masterfully organized these people." He gave a cocky little gesture to himself, and Dean just found himself liking him more and more.</p><p>Kevin led them through the abandoned school's halls, probably a high school judging on size alone. The place was a bit dirty, but no more than one would expect an abandoned building to be. There was a lot of graffiti on the lockers, and inside classrooms, he could see sleeping bags, blankets, and air mattresses littering the floors.</p><p>"As you can see, the place we're running here isn't really a training camp; it's just a safe haven for survivors. I have lists of who is sleeping in each classroom, and there are two more floors full of sleeping areas." He motioned to one of the classrooms they passed, and Dean saw two actual children running around after each other. He gave them a sad smile as he walked by, a knot in his stomach.</p><p>They were way too young to have to know what monsters are.</p><p>"Down this descending ramp is our state-of-the-art cafeteria!" Kevin spoke as they went down into the large open space, stuffed with tables with stools connected to them, extending out under the circular countertops.</p><p>This room was where everyone was. Dean's eyes widened in shock, and he ignored Lucifer's clasp on his shoulder as he stared. "Well, Dean, welcome to our little rebellion."</p><p>He had seen probably twenty or so people combined in the halls, but there were probably at least a hundred in this cafeteria. It was large enough and had the tablespace to occupy all of them comfortably, but it hadn't at all been what Dean was expecting.</p><p>The situation reminded him vaguely of the Apocalypse World hunters that Sam helped coordinate, but there was so much more here. He remembered them having twenty, maybe thirty, that were brought over.</p><p>This was way more than that. Dean never wished Sam was with him more than at that moment; he knew his nerd brother would be in front of these people giving an inspiring speech, winning them over already.</p><p>"I was exaggerating when I said state-of-the-art, of course," Kevin clarified, as though this large high school lunchroom filled with scraggly survivors was somehow supposed to convince Dean he was in a normal situation. "Our main problem is that we seem to have too many people to take care of well. Anyone who gets hurt or sick can just be healed by Lucifer here, but starvation is a threat in the future if our numbers keep growing."</p><p>Dean didn't like that Kevin was so worried. Kevin shouldn't have this kind of thing on his shoulders, but he realized that Lucifer couldn't be the only one, so someone had to step up. Lucifer may love humanity, but he wasn't sure if he completely understood it yet, and he was just one being, however powerful that being may be.</p><p>"It's incredible, Kev." Dean gave him a reassuring pat on the back.</p><p>"Kev?"</p><p>"It's a thing he does. I'm Luc." Lucifer said this with a proud and excited smile stretching across his face. Both Dean and Kevin regarded it with a strange and growing fondness.</p><p>The large yawn that came from the hunter did not go unnoticed. "My god, you've been through an ordeal today; you should get some sleep!" Lucifer gasped out, looking guilty as though it were his own fault. "I hope that you choose to stay here… I promise you'll be safe here, and you'll get an actual moment of rest." It was odd, but Lucifer looked worried like he thought Dean walked all the way here with him, swapping stories of their traumas, and was now going to leave to camp in the woods alone like a psychopath.</p><p>Usually, Dean would argue that he didn't need a bedtime like a child, but he was quickly learning that arguing with Lucifer was like arguing with a puppy. There was no point in making him upset because so far, he genuinely hadn't done anything to deserve it. And Dean had to admit, he was exhausted. Lucifer may have healed him, but he still felt the fatigue and exhaustion from all of the restless fits of sleeping and trekking in the heat. He wasn't injured, but he was still a human being.</p><p>"You're probably right," Dean said, stretching his back and hearing it pop. God, exactly how old was he getting now? "Don't worry, Luc, I'll be sure to stick around now. You aren't getting rid of me that easy, you know. Especially after you tried so hard to force me to stick around, you know, the living." He shot Lucifer a classic Dean Winchester wink, and he thought Lucifer was trying to roll his eyes, but the fondness and relief kept him from accomplishing it.</p><p>Kevin smiled when he looked between the two of them as he led Dean back up into the halls, leaving Lucifer behind at the entrance to the cafeteria. He had known Lucifer for a little while, not very long, but long enough to see that he wasn't exactly one for friends. Lucifer never told him anything about his past or his family, only that "Satan" was more than a bit of an exaggeration.</p><p>Kevin wondered if this Dean was precisely what the archangel needed. When Lucifer first told him about the stranger, he hadn't been surprised about the situation Lucifer found himself in. It was parr for the course, he finds someone he wants to help, and they're scared of him. Except that the way he described the stranger, even ignoring the fact that he recognized him, made it sound like he had been angry at him for trying to help. That was never the case; it was always fear, not anger.</p><p>Lucifer finally met someone who had the balls to stand up to him, and he became obsessed with the concept of that person. Not because he would ever be mean to someone to put them in their place, but because Lucifer was always met with fear. Someone else, with something else attached, it was too tempting to give up.</p><p>Or, in this case, abandon in the woods with no hope of escape.</p><p>"So…" Kevin started as they walked through the long halls. Kevin was already taking him on a path through the school that clearly led to nowhere in particular, but Dean didn't comment or even seem to care. "What happened?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Lucifer told me everything about his encounters with you; I mean, the man made you soup. But what happened that gave you a change of heart?"</p><p>Dean sighed, but it wasn't annoyed; it was merely resigned and tired. "A lot of things factored into it, but mainly, it was this."</p><p>Kevin watched as Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a gently folded polaroid picture. Dean was in the middle next to a man laughing hysterically and one very, very tall man with girly hair. "Friends or family?"</p><p>Dean looked at the picture and smiled again, transporting himself to that night with Jody and the girls. "Family. Both born and found. My brother Sam's the tall girl on the right, and that's Cas on the left." He pointed to each of them, and Kevin saw his face light up, mentioning their names. "They're the best."</p><p>The prophet understood dedication and family, he also wouldn't let himself rot in a cabin somewhere, but that was probably because he would have been in too much pain to just live with an injury like the one Lucifer described. He wouldn't believe the man walking beside him was the same man Lucifer pulled from the river if he hadn't seen Lucifer work his miracles before.</p><p>"I assume they're not here then?"</p><p>Dean shook his head. "Long story, but nope. And I doubt they even know I'm here. I didn't exactly give them a heads up."</p><p>Kevin nodded slowly. "What happened in the forest today? What was so bad that you needed to call Lucifer? No offense, it's just the way you sounded; I thought you were some arrogant, selfish, martyr type bastard."</p><p>"Well, I kind of am." He nudged Kevin with his shoulder. "A Leviathan sort of… ripped my insides out and left me bleeding on the ground. And I was going to just die, but then I thought of them." He pointed to the picture again, having not wanted to put it away yet. "It was like they were with me. I was pretty bent out of shape in my fever-hazed, blood-loss-delirium, but I don't think I would have survived or called Lucifer if it weren't for their influence."</p><p>Kevin shuddered at the thought. Ever since these monsters were unleashed on the world, he had feared more and more. How the hell was he supposed to live in a world like this? With things like what almost killed Dean in the woods?</p><p>He wasn't sure he wanted to live in that world.</p><p>He finally resigned himself to bring Dean to an actual room. "I'll come back with a sleeping bag. I hope it's okay to sleep on the floor," Kevin mentioned as they climbed the stairs.</p><p>"Kev, it's fine. I'm not a damn princess."</p><p>"No, but you did spend the last three days in a fever-hazed, blood-loss-delirium as you put it. And now that you're finally healed, the first thing you need is a comfortable, uninterrupted, good night's sleep."</p><p>The third floor was dark and almost eerie, but something was comforting and almost cool about how distanced and other-worldly it felt. Dean was sure if he had a typical high school experience, he would be geeking out over how fun it seemed to be in a dark abandoned hallway, only lit by the light flooding in from windows to classrooms where he could see shadows of people walking around.</p><p>"Well, here we are. Yours is the third on the right, and I already warned them you're coming. They're friends of mine; it's the room I sleep in. I'll be back with a sleeping bag and then later I'll join you, but I've got some stuff I want to do first. The door to the roof is around the corner in case you wake up before sunrise. You'll find Lucifer up there if you want to talk to him."</p><p>Dean smiled at him and put his hand on his shoulder, pushing away his desperate want to wrap him in another hug. "Thank you, Kevin. This place is wonderful."</p><p>Kevin smiled back. "I'll be back up soon."</p><p>As Kevin's feet pattered down the echoing stairway, Dean made his way to the room. He did almost wish he had privacy when he would sleep, but he would be okay with having roommates, especially since apparently Kevin would be one of them.</p><p>But he was a little bit too surprised when he walked in and saw who his roommates were.</p><p>Three people sat on a triangle made of their cots on the ground, their legs inside the confines of the shape they made as they chattered away, stopping to look at Dean coming through the door.<br/>The most unrecognizable was a young girl, probably only a teenager, maybe fifteen or sixteen, with dark brown hair, and though she was sitting, it was clear she was rather tall and had a thin frame that was practically skeletal.</p><p>A man sat near her, his knees knocking into hers as he turned to face their new guest. He looked familiar, weirdly familiar, but Dean didn't connect the dots until his brain processed the third person.</p><p>Jody Mills. The very same Jody Mills he thought of only minutes ago while looking at his picture of Sam and Cas at the party. She looked slightly different, she was dressed the same as the Jody that he knew, but her hair was longer, just past her shoulders. It was the style it had been when he first met her, but it was still the peppery gray of the Jody he knew.</p><p>He almost pinched himself just to remind him that this was a different person, and he wasn't allowed to just run into her arms and sob into her maternal hug while she would soothe him and stroke his hair.</p><p>God, Dean needed a good breakdown, and he needed it soon. It just couldn't be around these virtual strangers who happened to wear the faces of people he knew and loved.</p><p>The man, who Dean now remembered vaguely in person but mostly from photographs, stood and crossed the room to Dean, a big goofy grin on his face. "Hello! You must be the new visitor. I'm Sean Mills, and this is my wife Jody and my daughter Mia."</p><p>The girls both stood and crossed to him too, both tenser than the man had been. They had good instincts, never openly trust somebody.</p><p>"I'm Dean Winchester. I suppose I'll be your roommate tonight." He introduced himself with a firm handshake to Sean and a warm, calming smile to the girls. Mia seemed to relax at this, but Jody did not.</p><p>Damn, he loved Jody.</p><p>Kevin came back with a sleeping bag, and Dean very quickly settled into sleep, feeling the exhaustion run over him like he was being covered in a warm blanket.</p><p>He began to wonder if the Mills had a son. He would be older than their daughter now if he was alive, but he wasn't entirely sure why they had a daughter in the first place. She was too old to have been born after Sean died in Dean's world, so clearly, something else was different about the Mills in this world rather than just the fact that Sean wasn't dead.</p><p>He decided it was not a conversation that this family could even understand, let alone know anything about, so he shut his eyes and quickly drifted into a deep sleep.</p><p>-</p><p>It didn't take long before Dean was befriending everyone in sight. Kevin was almost shocked at how well the hunter was adjusting.</p><p>It had now been three days since Lucifer brought Dean to the base, and he was already the favorite. He helped cook for people, made sure to introduce himself to every single person there, and he was even scribbling notes down after each interaction in a journal that the Mills' daughter gave him.</p><p>Amelia Mills definitely admired the guy. Mia followed him through the halls like a shadow after the first night he was there. She had overheard a conversation between Kevin and Lucifer that drew her to him.</p><p>"What do you mean by 'alternate universe'?!"</p><p>"Dammit Mia! How long have you been there!"</p><p>"Long enough to know that I slept in the same room as a guy from an alternate universe. Why don't you just go home?"</p><p>"I can't; this world hasn't done a good job of preserving its essential magical artifacts."</p><p>She followed him around, asking him questions about the differences between their worlds, and Dean answered honestly and patiently. Kevin admired that patience, especially since the man's personality indicated that he may be a short fuse.</p><p>If he was, he was keeping it under control.</p><p>Of course, Sean loved him. He loved everybody, and everybody loved him. That was just how it was.</p><p>Jody took a little bit longer, but Dean was more than reasonably patient with her. It was finally her daughter's slight obsession that won her over, that or the omelet he cooked her. Kevin wasn't sure which.</p><p>But besides his growing respect from the survivors and his growing friendship with the Mills family, it was his growing kinship with Lucifer that left Kevin feeling warm and happy.</p><p>Kevin loved Lucifer, but he couldn't understand him or relate to him in any way. Lucifer was family, but the angel needed a friend. Specifically, a best friend and close confidante, which Kevin was not good at being. It was not that Kevin wasn't his friend or wasn't good to talk to, just that he hadn't seen enough trauma or overcame enough obstacles to ever begin relating to Lucifer on an equal level.</p><p>He loved Lucifer, but Lucifer was on a different plane of existence to him. And it was evident in the way he spoke to him; he admired him and looked up to him, not like he was his equal.</p><p>The same way Mia viewed Dean, he supposed.</p><p>But Dean didn't waste a second admiring Lucifer. If he did, he didn't show it. They had the start of an oddly healthy relationship.</p><p>Kevin watched as Dean stood close to Lucifer when the archangel was clearly struggling to communicate confidently with survivors. He watched as Lucifer would immediately fret over him if he tripped or distractedly walked into a table or entryway. He watched as Dean would sit with him when he'd usually be alone, and it was apparent he didn't want to be, and somehow the hunter understood that. He watched as Dean stared into his photograph, and Lucifer sat beside him in silence, a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>It was charming.</p><p>It didn't take long before Dean was showing everyone how to defend themselves.</p><p>It was Jody Mills' idea. After finally coming around to the hunter and hearing Mia tell yet another story about him, she suggested that he actually teach them how to fend off Purgatory monsters. Kevin thought it was a fantastic idea, considering he had no idea what to do if he ever came across one without Lucifer in reach.</p><p>They had the weapons they needed stored away. They just hadn't known they needed them. So Dean recruited Kevin, Lucifer, and Mia to hand out weapons to people as fairly and evenly distributed as they could. After all, they did a headcount comparing Kevin's rooming logs and Dean's new list of names and personality notes and came up with a combined one hundred and sixty-eight people. And after counting the weapons and ammo they had on hand, it was only forty guns with enough refillable silver bullets (thank you, Lucifer, for flying out to get some hunting-specific supplies) to last each forty people who would be given said guns a few rounds with a werewolf. There also accumulated ninety-nine machete-like weapons, a mix of actual machetes, swords, and butcher knives large enough to behead.</p><p>They handed them out, and after excluding children, each person had some form of helpful weapon, and they tried to make sure families and couples had one of each between them.</p><p>"Do you know how to use this?" Dean questioned as he stopped himself from handing Mia the gun she'd been eyeing all morning.</p><p>She nodded vigorously. "My mom was the sheriff before all of this. I can handle a gun. I can handle myself! I promise!" It was less defensive and more that she was desperately trying to prove herself. Dean just smiled at her and handed it to her. She accepted it like it was gold, revering it with awe and admiration.</p><p>The gun was proof Dean trusted her. She would not let that trust go to waste.</p><p>Dean gathered everyone into the school auditorium, and he felt a bit ridiculous standing on the stage and giving them lessons like it was a lecture. Still, he wanted to be sure that everyone learned how to use the weapons as quickly as possible.</p><p>He explained what each monster was and what it could do and what would hurt it. He pointed out little things he learned from being a hunter, explained their science and logic, and what to do in a pinch without your weapons.</p><p>That last one made him just a bit unsettled as he recalled both his high-fever vamp fighting in the cabin and the lessons and facts that the ghost of his brother taught him in the woods.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Momentary Glow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean and Lucifer do a little bonding, Dean realizes how he feels about Cas, and this new Jody Mills doesn't seem to be Dean's biggest fan</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"They're closing in."</p><p>It had not been the first thing Dean wanted to hear in the morning. He had now been at their base for two weeks and began to settle into the comforts and sense of community it provided. Though none of them were quite skilled with their weapons, Dean finally understood why Sammy loved those Apocalypse World hunters so much. It was nice to have people around you with a shared goal.</p><p>He had no luck in his efforts to find a way home. Lucifer had been very disappointed to tell him that there was no way he could find fruit from the tree of life required for the spell to open the rift. The tree had been destroyed years ago, and if anyone had fruit from it, which he had been sure some did, they went underground when Chuck cracked Purgatory.</p><p>So now Dean had a willing archangel to offer grace, but that was about it. Not that it would be easy to just go home now anyway. Now that he had befriended these survivors and assessed their positions, they were screwed if things started coming for them. Lucifer could only snap away a couple monsters at a time, and he couldn't be everywhere at once. Dean had work to do here; he had people to protect.</p><p>But when he went to sleep at night, he would close his eyes and see Sam and Cas. On more challenging nights when all he could do was think about them, he would stare at the picture he had until his fatigue whisked him under, and it felt as though the arms of a familiar angel were wrapping around him and carrying him off to his dreams. Sometimes he could even smell that familiar smell, feel as though that familiar trench coat was brushing against his bare forearms. But he always woke, his own arms wrapped around himself, shivering and alone. Devastated, he would consistently reach out to Cas and beg him to come to him and wrap his arms around him.</p><p>He had been feeling this emptiness in his stomach since he left. It hadn't been noticeable when he had been in pain for the first few days, but once Lucifer healed him, he began to feel it. And he had felt that way before; he felt it when Lucifer had possessed Cas and when Cas died and went to the Empty. He recognized that empty pit as the feeling that Cas wasn't with him, that he wasn't within reach.</p><p>It ached. Dean ignored it during the day fairly easily, as he was conscious of the fact that Sam and Cas were in another world and it just was what it was, but when night crept in on him, and he listened to the steady snores of Kevin and Sean, he felt different. Like he wasn't even himself. A part of him was missing, and if Cas could just come and envelop Dean in his arms, then the warmth from his embrace would sink back into his soul, and he would feel whole again.</p><p>But Cas never came. And he always woke up, reluctantly, but awake and never more alone sleeping in a room with four other people.</p><p>Lucifer had been a gift. The friendship he had with him was different than the one he had with his brother and his angel. It wasn't as deep and fire-forged, but it was still validating and comfortable. He trusted the archangel, and the angel trusted him too.</p><p>"What do you mean by 'they're closing in'?" Dean grumbled into the mug of coffee he lifted to his lips. The slight tremble in Luc's voice was enough to startle him, but he figured that it was something he could deal with once he understood what was going on.</p><p>The glare Lucifer sent his way made him perk his head up a little bit more, though still vaguely unaware as he continued to drain the coffee from his cup. "This situation we've found ourselves in is a bit self-explanatory, don't you think?" Though he was seemingly annoyed that Dean wasn't reading his mind, he still sat by him in a resigned movement. "The monsters from the woods. They've been gathering for days, and they're getting a little too close for comfort."</p><p>This made Dean straighten in his chair. He understood too well how these monsters could team up against a common enemy. When he was in Purgatory with Benny and Cas, monsters of all types would team up to try and kill them, forming alliances against the rogue human and angel, and the vampire who betrayed his kind. The scariest thing about any monsters in any hunt was numbers.</p><p>"We're not prepared to fight them if they get in the doors," Dean warned, his voice dangerously low. "There are some people here who have potential, but there are children too. We can't risk that." Lucifer nodded in agreement, biting his lower lip in a very human gesture of concern.</p><p>"Dean, I can take care of some of them, but not this many all at once. I need to buy time."</p><p>"You need hunters to thin the herd." Dean tipped his chair back, squeezing his eyes shut. Dammit, how the hell was he supposed to pull together a group big enough to fight Purgatory monsters? He currently only trusted himself and Luc to take care of literally anything dangerous. "Give me a number, Luc. How many people besides me are we going to need?"</p><p>The archangel rubbed a hand on the back of his neck awkwardly. "Five. To be safe, six."</p><p>Dean took a sharp inhale but wasn't disappointed or excited by the number. He had no clue what to expect. There were plenty of scenarios where he would need many more hunters, but there were also nicer scenarios where he would just need maybe one helping hand.</p><p>"I guess I'm going to have to ask for volunteers. I can't specifically single anyone out for this; they won't want to go." Dean admitted after a moment of resignation.</p><p>Lucifer nodded along fervently, just glad that Dean was immediately brainstorming instead of panicking. "I'll have Kevin give an announcement when breakfast starts in an hour. I'll take you out to survey the numbers, and we'll come back and bring out the group at noon. Is that okay?"</p><p>He gritted his teeth. "It has to be."</p><p>-</p><p>Dean and Lucifer were perched in a tree, staring directly down at the monsters, silently observing.</p><p>Lucifer had already seen all of them, but he flew Dean to one of the taller, easier to hide in trees above them all.</p><p>Dean wasn't thrilled by the mix he saw. All of them were vampires, with a couple of Leviathans. He tried to count, but they all looked the same, dirty, wearing ripped clothing, clearly the products of being in the woods alone for months, and Purgatory for longer. He wasn't sure it was a blessing that Chuck simply provided them with their bodies because the smell was shocking.</p><p>He felt Lucifer's hand on his shoulder, and suddenly with a rush of wind, he was back on the roof of the school. "I think I can handle the Leviathans, but if I do, that leaves pretty much all of the vampires to you and whatever team Kevin hopefully scraped together," Lucifer mused as the two began toward the door inside. "If you guys can't handle those, then I'm not sure I'll be able to help. I don't want to fail you guys, but there isn't much I can do."</p><p>He had to hand it to the angel; he looked genuinely distressed and heartbroken, his face muddled with fear and concern. Dean felt guilty just looking at him.</p><p>"I'm going to take care of whoever comes, even if I have to throw myself in front of them."</p><p>"Don't say that!"</p><p>"Why not?" Dean asked, rather genuinely. "I'm not suicidal, but I'm going to be the one bringing people to fight these vamps, people who have very little training with machetes."</p><p>Luc only looked more upset. "I wish I could do more, it's just that I spent so much time in the cage, and-"</p><p>"This isn't your fault. This is Chuck's fault. He's the one who has done all of this to you. If I die here, it's just what he wants. If you die, this entire world is even more doomed. I'm more expendable, Luc, you have to admit."</p><p>Lucifer paused on the stairs they were descending, and he grabbed Dean's arm forcefully, Dean fighting the urge to yank it away from him. "Not to them."</p><p>Dean tilted his head, unsure of what he was even saying. But Lucifer reached into Dean's pocket with the other hand and pulled out the photo that he still carried with him, unfolded it, and shoved it in his face. Even though Dean saw Lucifer do everything and had seen the picture a trillion times, he still let out a little gasp when he was met with that image of Sam and Cas smiling and laughing alongside him, popping champagne.</p><p>"That's low, Luc." Dean snatched the photo back, stuffing it less ceremoniously into his pocket.</p><p>"You know I'm right. I know how much you love them and how much they love you."</p><p>"Oh, please, you've never met them."</p><p>"Maybe not, but I've met you. After everything you've told me in the past few days, about your crazy life and death experiences, and everything you've been through with those two, I know how much you'd be willing to sacrifice for them. And I've only known you a few weeks now, and I'm already terrified of the idea of you getting hurt, let alone dying. So I have some idea of how they feel about you, Dean. Because if what I feel, what I worry about when it comes to you, is even a fraction of how much they've poured into you, then they're probably back home, ripping apart every corner of the world looking for you. And believe me, I will make sure that you are still alive when they finally rip open this world and find you. Or I'll be damned if I don't find a way to get you back to them, ALIVE."</p><p>Dean was utterly floored by Lucifer's small rant. A part of him obviously knew Luc cared about him; after all, he wouldn't have put up with the first few days of Dean if he didn't. But he hadn't been expecting Lucifer's full-frontal honesty and insight on Sam and Cas.</p><p>He was a very self-deprecating man, but he had to admit that Lucifer would understand better than him. Sam and Cas probably were going crazy, wondering what happened to him. Whether Chuck interceded Max or not, Sam and Cas would still have to deal with the fact that Dean was missing. Max wouldn't know where he went. All he'd be able to piece together for his family is the fact that he went into an alternate dimension.</p><p>But what did that mean for him? For all three of them? What could Sam and Cas do in this situation? How would they get archangel grace or find the correct world?</p><p>They weren't going to be able to help him, but that much Dean already knew. Dean would have to find his own way out of here, and Lucifer would help him. But he hadn't really considered exactly what Sam and Cas were doing or how they were feeling.</p><p>Dean had been so obsessed with his own situation, which he felt rightful in doing so, that he hadn't thought about their situation. They could do nothing. So what were they doing?</p><p>He knew both of them too well. When Sam was helpless, he got angry. The kind of angry that left chairs and tables lying on their sides, the kind of angry that made him stomp out to the car without pants. He would get so angry and physical until he wore himself out, and then he would crumple into a ball of silent sobbing. When Cas was helpless, he became distant. He would be scarily quiet and hard to find, he wouldn't answer and calls or check his texts or voicemails, and when you finally found him, he would be tearing his hair out on the floor somewhere.</p><p>Dean wasn't sure what to do with the image of Cas crying. The angel seldom did so, but for some reason, it was in his head now, and it made him angry. He felt concerned and furious at the same time. Yet again, he just wanted to reach out to his angel and hold onto him and tell him everything was okay, he had come home to him, and he could stop crying, but he still couldn't reach him.</p><p>For the first time, he understood what he was feeling for Cas. A little thought finally entered into his head, and he felt his face flush red as he tripped over the last step.</p><p>What the hell was he supposed to do with that?</p><p>He had terrible timing.</p><p>-</p><p>They were both surprised by the group of volunteers standing beside Kevin in the cafeteria. Eleven people with varying skills and determinations, all looking steel-faced and brave.</p><p>Dean recognized most of them as parents of the little kids, and he wasn't surprised by that. Of course, once Kevin said they could be in danger, the ones with the most to lose would volunteer to help.</p><p>He wasn't surprised at all when Jody and Sean were standing front and center, hands-on their hips with prepared grins. He wasn't sure how he felt, knowing he was dragging them out to danger, but they were his friends, and it felt pretty damn good to know they'd be fighting alongside him.</p><p>"Alright, if you're all prepared, let's move out!" Dean said with a clap of his hands after he and Luc explained the situation that lay ahead of them in detail.</p><p>"Wait for me! I volunteer! I can help!" The young voice of Mia piped in as she ran in to meet them from the hall.</p><p>Jody immediately put an arm between her and the sword she was reaching for. "Not so fast there, girlie."</p><p>"Mom!" Mia looked embarrassed, but it came out as a whine anyway. "I can help, I swear I can! I'm sixteen. I'm not a baby anymore."</p><p>"Amelia Sofia Mills! You aren't going anywhere except back upstairs to our classroom." Jody had her hands on her hips, and Dean recognized this Jody all too well.</p><p>Fortunately, so did Mia, so she stormed off from where she came. Dean knew too well that this would not be the end of the argument, but he wanted too desperately to get this little mission over with to try and interject.</p><p>-</p><p>There had been several times in Dean's life where he felt frozen with fear. Every single time had been when people were in danger, specifically his family.</p><p>He had been in this new world for two weeks, but he already felt like these people were his family. At the very least, he had a responsibility to protect them and keep them alive. But as they snuck through the forest silently toward the cluster of monsters that lay ahead, he worried that he would have little control over anything.</p><p>Maybe that's how Lucifer felt all the time. He was supposed to be better and have all this power, but what was the point if it wasn't enough?</p><p>What was the point of Lucifer saving Dean if Dean wasn't enough?</p><p>All he told them was "leave the Leviathans to Luc" before they charged into the clearing the monsters were camped out in.</p><p>The fight was a blur, but Dean made the best of it. He wove between dozens of vamps, chopping off heads one by one while also following every survivor he brought with him with his gaze, consistently getting between them and a vampire.</p><p>The fight probably only lasted about eight minutes, but Dean couldn't remember the end of it. He was staring up, blinking against the sunlight, pushing down on his eyes harshly.</p><p>Through his watery gaze, he saw Luc and the survivors all huddled around him, looking scared.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Dean shot up from the position where he had apparently been lying down, and he felt his chest caught by Lucifer's hands.</p><p>"Slow down!" The archangel cautioned. "I haven't even checked if you've been fully healed yet. I just took out those Leviathans; my powers might be too weak."</p><p>Dean just blinked at him. "Healed? I'm fine. Is everyone else okay?"</p><p>"Are you serious?!" Sean Mills' incredulous voice drew his attention. "Dean, you got hit hard, but you saved Jody's life!"</p><p>"I wouldn't go that far," Jody grumbled from a few feet away. She was the only one not fretting over him. In fact, she seemed to be keeping her distance. "I was fine. He just got in the way for no reason."</p><p>"Jody," Sean's voice came out as a warning, but she ignored it and promptly spun around on her heels, disappearing the way they came. Sean looked like he would follow her but turned back to the hunter who was now trying to stand up and being reluctantly helped by the archangel. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into her. Thank you." He added the last bit quickly as he stood and chased after his wife.</p><p>Dean was just a bit confused. Ignoring that he didn't even remember getting hit for Jody, he wasn't entirely sure why she was so angry with him.</p><p>-</p><p>Whether he understood the reason or not, Jody's anger persisted for three weeks after.</p><p>Dean had taken this time to train the survivors in the base. There were a few really talented survivors among them who were able to help him, but no hunters.</p><p>There was a man named Jesse who was a small-town sheriff, a woman named Delia who was a Navy vet, and a woman named Hanna who was a firefighter. Not the most perfect group for machete training, but they were definitely handy to have around, corralling the otherwise hopeless civilians.</p><p>He was well-used to being surrounded by regular people with no knowledge of the supernatural who still managed to put themselves in harm's way during a case, but this was something else. These people didn't want to be here; they weren't throwing themselves into the saddle for personal or pride reasons. They were just victims. Just trying to survive.</p><p>Through the weeks, Dean noticed that everyone, besides the children, was attending at least one or two, if not all, lessons.</p><p>Everyone except Jody Mills and her daughter Mia.</p><p>During the training, he would see Sean, but neither addressed his wife and daughter's absence. Neither had any reason to get involved, and Dean wasn't even sure if Sean knew what was going through Jody's head.</p><p>To be fair, Dean never knew what was going through his own Jody's head. The only difference now was that she seemed to hate him, and yet they still slept in the same third-floor room every night, with poor Sean trying to awkwardly mediate.</p><p>The first time Jody spoke to him after those three weeks, it was not with good news.</p><p>"Dean Winchester, where is my daughter?!" Dean leaped from his seat, startled by Jody interrupting his conversation with Kevin and Lucifer.</p><p>"Jody, calm down," Lucifer started, but she didn't seem to care that he was Lucifer the archangel; he was just in her way.</p><p>"Do you think I'm stupid? It's just supposed to be a coincidence that your gun and your machete are missing, along with my daughter, who begged you to let her out in the field?!"</p><p>Dean froze. Dammit, Mia had been more determined than ever the past couple of days to get out there and fight monsters and prove herself.</p><p>Mia Mills was a lot like her mother, both the one Dean knew and the one who hated him. But even worse, she reminded him a lot of himself. Or maybe Sam, but the lines between the two brothers were pretty blurred when it came to hunting. She was determined as hell; she didn't want to be sidelined. In fact, when she was sidelined, she apparently snuck out on her own to do stupid things. Maybe she should be Amelia Mills-Winchester. She certainly had a stubborn personality for it.</p><p>"Jody, I swear, I would never sanction her to go out alone. Or at all!" Dean quickly added, trying to avoid the wrath that was directed at him. It wasn't a lie, there was no way in hell he would let her near his weapons, and he was already being flooded with fear at the realization that she was gone.</p><p>To her credit, Jody could read his expression from this, and she backed off, but only a bit. She seemed to understand that Dean did not let her go, but she still thought it was his fault.</p><p>"Jody, I'll take you and Sean out so we can look around the fastest. We'll send out teams searching for her, well-equipped teams," Lucifer interjected. Jody just gave him a sharp nod and scrambled off to find her husband.</p><p>The three at the table stood. "Lucifer, wait." Kevin grabbed the archangel's arm before he could disappear. "I know Mia. She'll be going out to the wheat fields to the north; she thinks it's peaceful. That's your best bet." He glanced over at Dean. "Dean, could you stay here a moment and help me coordinate teams?"</p><p>Dean just nodded, and Lucifer gave them both a tight smile before disappearing, flying away to grab the Mills. "Okay, so I think it would be best if we had Delia and I take a small group northwest, scan the wheat fields past the drop-off, we could probably put Jonathan on that team and maybe-"</p><p>"That won't be necessary," Kevin interrupted. "I'll send out some small teams to the wheat fields for appearance sake, but she's not out there."</p><p>"But you just told Luc that-"</p><p>"Look, Mia's my friend. Yeah, she's just sixteen and definitely unprepared, but she's determined." Kevin sighed as he looked around. "Do you really think that Sean and Jody can get to her right now? She's rebelling. If they find her first, she'll just keep sneaking out until she proves herself or dies."</p><p>Dean nodded, understanding what Kevin meant by all of this. "You want me to approach her alone."</p><p>"I want you to take her hunting."</p><p>Dean put his hands in the air and backed away. "Oh, no, no, no, no. Jody Mills hates me enough. You're asking me to not only find her daughter without her but to keep her out and help her fight monsters. It's not my place to make those decisions."</p><p>"You're not making those decisions!" Said Kevin. "Mia is making those decisions. Look, Jody wants her to be safe, but be honest, will she be safer if Jody comes and yells at her, or if you go and actually train her and show her the harsh truth of hunting?" When Dean grumbled in resignation, Kevin added, "you know I'm right. Dean, have you ever dealt with a headstrong teenage hunter?"</p><p>Boy had he: Krissy Chambers, that headstrong girl who lost her father, or Claire Novak, the most prominent example.</p><p>He hadn't done enough to help Claire. True, he hadn't been the one who felt like he owed her--he did, just not to the same extent as Cas. Cas had been broken up over her, feeling this intense guilt over what he had done to their family.</p><p>Dean had always felt selfish when it came to James Novak. It went without saying that he had a closer relationship with Cas, and he didn't see Jimmy when he looked at him, but he knew that Cas felt crazy guilt when it came to the Novaks, especially Claire.</p><p>He tried to ignore that pang of emptiness and longing in his chest when he saw Jimmy Novak's blue eyes staring at him in his own head.</p><p>But Mia wasn't Claire. She had her parents, and her parents loved and supported her. Still, that didn't mean she would automatically grow up to have an average life or a normal relationship with hunting. Many hunters still had their family members; they just learned about the supernatural and felt obligated to do something.</p><p>Hell of an obligation Mia was feeling.</p><p>"Yes, I have." Dean let out a loud sigh of resignation. "Fine. But where is she really then, because she has mentioned that she loves the wheat fields before."</p><p>Kevin nodded fervently, just glad that Dean was biting. "She'll be around the cabin Lucifer took you to when he found you last month."</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. Of course, he would have to go back to that damned cabin. It had been his saving grace, a sanctuary, but it was a sanctuary constantly interrupted by the face of the devil he didn't yet know, a vampire that ripped out a chunk of his flesh, and his feverish fits of delirium.</p><p>He just nodded curtly at Kevin and parted, taking a sword with him, just in case.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you guys for all the comments! They really mean a lot to me :) </p><p>(IMPORTANT) also the reason I get new chapters out so quickly is because I've already written WELL ahead of what I post...I have it almost completely finished I just stagger the updates, so if you would like me to post it all at once or even more frequently, like two or three chapters a day, let me know!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Where Goes the Girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia sees a new kind of monster and Dean makes an important deal</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cabin was being circled by werewolves. There were four of them, teeth bared and eyes glowing, but they couldn't seem to get in.</p><p>Dean cocked his silver-bullet loaded pistol from a few yards out as he snuck closer, weaving between trees and carefully choosing his steps around the softer grass patches beneath his feet. Though he had never been the best at telling different forest clusters from others his whole life, something his dad always got on his ass about being better about, this area of the forest was too familiar. It was near where that Leviathan ripped him apart, where he hallucinated the ghosts of his family.</p><p>It was a strange thought, but a part of him missed the clarity with which he could see their faces. If he closed his eyes, he could still see their faces and hear their voices, but when he saw them a month ago in this section of the woods, it felt like they were with him, regardless of how similar they were to their actual personalities or not.</p><p>Shaking off the dark thoughts, sure to follow that quickly derailing train of thought, he refocused on the situation at hand.</p><p>With the speed of a trained hunter, which of course he was, he fired off four quick shots in succession, hitting his target each time.</p><p>The four separate bodies of the werewolves that had been circling fell to the ground in evenly spaced thuds. Dean hovered his hand over the hilt of the sword he took from Kevin in preparation for another wave of retaliation, but no noises came besides the chirping of birds and the fluttering of those wings.</p><p>He made his way to the door and twisted the handle, but it was locked. Or, no, jammed. That door did not have a lock on it, he would know. That vampire whose hands he cut off would know.</p><p>Deciding to knock instead, he rapped on the wood carefully but loudly. There was no response, so he tried again, his knocks louder and slower than before. "Mia!" He called. "Mia, it's Dean. Let me in!"</p><p>He lifted his fist to knock again but stopped as he heard the loud scraping on the wood floor. The door opened only an inch, and Dean got a face full of water.</p><p>"I see you took everything out of my jacket," Dean grumbled as he wiped the holy water from his eyes and pushed his way inside. He was caught off guard as he was met with a tight hug from the girl inside.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Dean! I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have taken your stuff… I'm so sorry!" She was sobbing into his chest, and he held onto the back of her head comfortingly.</p><p>He closed the door behind him and put his hands on her shoulders as she pulled back. "It's okay, Mia. Everyone was really worried about you. Your mom was going crazy."</p><p>This made Mia roll her eyes, but she didn't add anything like Dean expected. She just wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it. I don't really know how to shoot one of these."</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow. "That's not what you said when I gave you yours."</p><p>She had the decency to look ashamed. "I know how it works technically, but I've never aimed at anything living before. Definitely not anything chasing me."</p><p>The hunter nodded along. "Look, Mia, it's getting dark; there's no use going back out there now. Let's settle in here for the night, and maybe on the way back to the bunker, I could help you learn how to actually shoot one of those, deal?"</p><p>He'd never seen her look so excited before. "Deal!"</p><p>"I do have one question, why did you throw holy water in my face? Demons have been the least of my problems since getting here; I haven't seen a single one. Have you?"</p><p>She glanced back to the door. "There was a woman outside earlier. She wasn't as disheveled or crazed as the other monsters; she actually looked... professional. She had black curly hair, dark skin, and she wore a business suit. And her eyes… they changed. All I know about demons is that they look like people, and their eyes give them away, but I don't know the details of them." A scared look flickered through her face. "Something about that woman unsettled me, so I thought she might be a demon."</p><p>Dean tilted his head to the ceiling. Dammit all. He had kind of been hoping to avoid dealing with demon business. Leviathans might be a bitch to kill, but at least even they were straightforward. Monsters were monsters. But demons? He really hadn't been wanting to deal with those over here. He had enough on his plate.</p><p>"Did her eyes flash black or red?"</p><p>Mia tilted her head in confusion. "Neither." Dean mimicked her confusion before she continued. "They flashed blue."</p><p>Damn. It. All.</p><p>"Well Mia, I'm sorry to tell you, but that holy water wouldn't have done a thing. She wasn't a demon."</p><p>"What was she?!"</p><p>"An angel."</p><p>She cocked her head, thoughtfully. "Oh. That's a lot better."</p><p>"Not necessarily. Sometimes they can be much, much worse." Names of angels he didn't have happy memories of flashed through his head. Uriel. Zachariah. Balthazar. Metatron. Gadreel. Michael. Lucifer.</p><p>"But, Lucifer is an angel."</p><p>"Yeah, but he's cool. Most angels you meet aren't like him at all, they have sticks up their asses, and they see people like they're bugs. And they're super powerful. Almost all aren't as powerful as Luc, but they still pack more of a punch than any of these Purgatory monsters."</p><p>She visibly shuddered. "So why did I see one?"</p><p>Dean shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you, Mia. But if she didn't come to your aid, then I worry that it means nothing good." He really did. He didn't want to add any more angels to this mix except for his own.</p><p>Dean flitted around the cabin, making the bed and pulling out blankets and pillows from the closet, laying them down for him to sleep on the floor. While he did this, he entertained Mia with the story of what state he was in when he was here last. She seemed to find humor in his stubbornness and how he somehow managed not to piss Luc off as much as he could.</p><p>He started the fireplace, noticing the wet clothes he left behind from before. They had tons of clothes back at the base, Lucifer could just fly into a department store and take as much as they needed after all, so Dean hadn't really missed the old jeans and t-shirt. The only thing he took was his boots and his jacket.</p><p>"I'm really sorry, Dean, I did take everything out of your jacket," Mia said from behind him.</p><p>"Sorry?"</p><p>"When you first got here, you noted that I took everything out of your jacket. I did."</p><p>"Well, obviously, you took my gun and both of my knives, my machete…" he trailed off as he recalled what had been in his jacket pocket. He understood what Mia was talking about before she even pulled it out.</p><p>The polaroid picture.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, it's such an invasion of privacy, I know, and I swear I didn't know what it was. I assumed it was some good luck charm or something! If I knew it was a picture of your friends, I would have never stolen it."</p><p>Dean gave her a small smile as he accepted her outstretched hand with the polaroid pinched between her fingers, as though she feared he'd be mad at her for even touching it. "That's alright, Mia. It's just important to me. I don't want to forget their faces. Looking at this photo, it reminds me of what I'm doing it all for." He lightly brushed the image of Cas's laughing face.</p><p>She was smiling back at him. "It's good to have friends that give you a reason."</p><p>"They're not my friends. Sam here, he's my little brother. I've been protecting him his whole life, and he doesn't really need me to anymore, but I still try. We've been through everything together; there's nothing we can't or haven't already overcome. And Cas, he's…"</p><p>He's what exactly? Wasn't Cas his friend? That's not how he saw him, not really. There was more now. So much more. The words 'half of me' came to his mind, but he didn't say them out loud.</p><p>When he had finally realized what Cas was to him, what he meant to him, a few weeks back, he hadn't known what to think. Sure, he had to readdress how he saw himself in the world, but loving Cas wasn't a hard thing to picture, even if it was a bit foreign to realize in that context.</p><p>Cas was everything. He only wished he knew that before. Before he was sent here... before he might never see him again.</p><p>Before, it was too late to just grab him and say that he loved him, to his face.</p><p>But Cas was a world away, his brother was a world away, and he might not get the chance to see them again. He may never have the opportunity to tell Cas the truth, the truth he deserved to know.</p><p>And Lucifer had been right those weeks ago when he said that they would be ripping the world apart looking for him. Dean could only hope that Cas would magically sense that Dean wanted to tell him he loved him, but he knew that the angel was probably just wanting his friend back.</p><p>His friend who had never given him the respect and love he deserved and had earned over and over again, just by being there for those stupid, slightly suicidal Winchesters.</p><p>Dean's expression wasn't a novel, it was a fucking picture book, and he knew it. Tears were streaming down his face again, but this time he just let them flow.</p><p>Mia grabbed Dean's hands in hers. "I think I understand," she muttered. "There was someone… before. Before all of this. I haven't seen her since hell broke loose, and I always wonder where she is and if she ever knew just how much she meant to me."</p><p>Dean smiled at her. This girl was sixteen, and she already had some of what took Dean over a decade to figure out as an adult.</p><p>She hummed to herself, thoughtfully for a moment. "Let's make a deal."</p><p>"Should I be worried?"</p><p>"I'll help you. I know I'm a sixteen-year-old girl who doesn't have a good understanding of how things work yet, but I'm determined as hell. And I don't give up. So I'll devote every second of my time to researching and finding ways to get you home. I won't rest until I've uncovered every path. And I will also promise to listen to you, no questions asked. If you tell me to stay behind, I'll stay behind. You want me to apologize to my parents, I will. You point me in any direction, and I will go there."</p><p>"I can work with that," Dean replied with a grin; even though he wasn't sure anything could come of her first promise about getting him home, he was still excited by her commitment to listen for once.</p><p>"In return, I only ask two things."</p><p>"Go on."</p><p>"You have to promise never to give up and resign yourself to living here. You can't decide to sacrifice your happiness for this world either; if you get the chance, you will go home, no hesitations or hang-ups for the people here."</p><p>Dean sighed, slightly unhappy with the promise but knowing that should either scenario come to fruition, Luc certainly wouldn't allow him to wallow or stay out of sentiment anyway, even if he had to knock Dean unconscious and make the decisions for him. "Okay, I promise. What's the second thing?"</p><p>"Cas." She landed her finger directly on the face of the trenchcoated angel in the photo sitting on the coffee table between them. Dean cocked an eyebrow at her, surprised and curious as to where she was going with this. "When you get home, you tell him how you feel."</p><p>Dean's blood froze. Mia was clever, he'd hand her that, and though he was terrified he'd never get that chance, he was almost just as scared if he did.</p><p>But looking at that face, the face of the man who pulled him from hell, he couldn't imagine a world, even if it scared the shit out of him, where he would let him live day by day, not knowing how much Dean loved him. How much he would sacrifice for him if he could. That Dean would die for him with no hesitation and that he would do anything to make him smile and laugh like he did in this picture.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"If I get home-"</p><p>"When. When you get home."</p><p>"Okay, when I get home, I'll tell him. As long as you don't break your side of the deal."

She gave him a smile that was a little too satisfied. "That works for me."</p><p>-</p><p>"You have to focus. Even when you're in a bad situation, you have to hold on to that semblance of focus that will keep your gun aimed at your target." Dean began to speak through instructions as they walked back to the school in the early daylight.</p><p>He was almost dreading getting back to the base. He wanted Sean and Jody to know that their daughter was okay, but he didn't look forward to the look he would get from Jody.</p><p>It was selfish, but he really hated that Jody didn't like him. He loved Sheriff Mills; Jody had become a sort of maternal figure in his life over the last ten years that he'd known her. Now, he'd only known this Jody for a month, and she hated his guts.</p><p>He wasn't sure the reason why, but he could guess. Mia was Claire Novak all over again, and Jody blamed Dean. Mia wanted to be a hunter, and Dean was the only hunter around to model from.</p><p>He wasn't proud of it. He hadn't expected his mere presence to fuck up a family, but if there was anything he learned from Lisa and Ben, it was that sticking around gets people hurt.</p><p>But if there is anything Sam and Cas taught him, it's that leaving is worse.</p><p>Before they got back into the base, Dean was pretty proud of Mia's progress in handling her gun. She was a pretty quick learner.</p><p>Maybe she could use her new skills with a gun to shoot him before he had to see Jody again.</p><p>"Amelia Sofia Mills!" The loud scream of both relief and undeniable rage came from the doors after the school had just barely come into their vision.</p><p>Jody Mills strode toward her daughter with a firm, unwavering glare, and Dean could feel Mia shrink beneath it. She self-consciously shuffled toward Dean as if she could just walk directly through him and force him to be between her and her mother, but Dean assumed he would get her mother's anger regardless.</p><p>Sean was trailing behind his wife, looking more relieved than angry, but he didn't add anything as Jody planted herself in front of her daughter.</p><p>"Amelia, what the hell did you think you were doing?" Jody's voice got deeper and quieter, and Dean was finding it scarily similar to how she spoke to Claire.</p><p>Mia took a deep breath. "I don't want to be treated like a baby anymore when I'm old enough to help, but-"</p><p>"Ahem…" Dean interrupted, cartoonishly obvious, but he didn't care if that's the point that got across. "Mia," he warned. She shot him an annoyed glare, but he countered with a very readable stare.</p><p>He might as well have screamed, "we have a deal!" from the way Jody eyed him with suspicion.</p><p>"BUT…" Mia shot Dean an angry yet defeated look. "I'm sorry for running off. It won't happen again, I promise. I didn't want to scare you guys; I just wanted to prove myself. But Dean helped me understand, you're my parents, and I need to obey you."</p><p>Of course, that hadn't been what Dean helped her understand at all, but they both figured it would be easier to say than to explain that they had a deal riding on Mia devoting her time to sending Dean home, and the concept that Dean would have to confess his feelings to a specific angel.</p><p>Nor would it be simple to explain that Mia promised to do whatever Dean asked of her, and he wasn't sure Jody would like that one at all.</p><p>Jody blinked at her and looked between Mia and Dean. Sean was equally quiet, but his confused look was more one of incredulity as he stared at Dean in wonder and admiration.</p><p>It was admirable to get Mia to listen to anyone, after all.</p><p>"I'm… glad to hear that…" Jody's voice was level, but it still betrayed her confusion and surprise.</p><p>Mia gave her a sharp nod, and Sean smiled, shaking himself out of his haze. "Well, let's go in and get you some food, and you can tell us all about what happened."</p><p>Sean put his hand on Mia's back, and they started toward the door, but as Dean tried to follow them, a hand smacked into his chest.</p><p>"Not so fast, Winchester."</p><p>Dean's shoulders slumped, not looking forward to yet another tongue-lashing from the woman wearing the face of his maternal figure and friend. "Look, Jody, I promise, no one hurt her."</p><p>"You want to know why I don't like you?"</p><p>Dean froze. He was put off guard by her honesty. "I guess?"</p><p>"Ever since you showed up here, she's wanted to be more like you. But Sean has told me about you. The adventures that you've shared with us. And honestly, I'm impressed."</p><p>Dean thought his eyes might bulge out of his head. "Impressed?"</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "Yes, impressed. But so is Mia. And she cares about you too much. She wants to have adventures like you've had."</p><p>"She really doesn't. Those 'adventures' were terrible."</p><p>"That doesn't change how she feels. I don't know what happened in the woods last night, but whatever it is that you said to convince her to listen to you and actually apologize to me, which, by the way, was a shock, don't abuse it."</p><p>"I don't understand…"</p><p>"I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she'll do whatever you say. Am I wrong?" She gave him a scrutinizing glare, but he didn't need to answer out loud; his face was doing it all for him. "You have power over my daughter. And if that gets her killed, then Winchester, you better bet you will be right behind her. You understand me?"</p><p>Dean nodded, but she already spun on her heels and started after her husband and daughter.</p><p>Dean was left there, just standing, staring after them. Did he just make an estranged alliance with Jody? And did she just threaten him? And was she in any way joking? Probably not.</p><p>He heard the fluttering noise behind him that he'd gotten so used to but simply put up a hand weakly in greeting, still watching as Jody disappeared inside.</p><p>"Kevin told me what was going on; I figured I'd leave you guys alone to give you a chance to get to her. Did it work?"</p><p>Dean was now just staring at the shut door yards away from him. "I'm not sure, Luc. She's going to do whatever I ask of her."</p><p>Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "That's quite a feat. How'd you manage that?"</p><p>"We made a deal."</p><p>"What the hell could you promise her that would be worth her doing whatever you say?!" Lucifer's voice displayed just how shocked he was.</p><p>Dean let out a little awkward laugh. "It was her idea. She'd do whatever I ask of her as long as I…" he paused, not sure how to bring this part up. Lucifer had become his best friend, but he hadn't exactly told him this part yet. "As long as I go home. If given the opportunity, with no hesitation."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>Damn. Lucifer was getting too good at reading him.</p><p>"And… if I promised to tell Cas that I am in love with him."</p><p>It was quiet for a moment, and Dean couldn't bring himself to turn and face the archangel. It was a weird pride thing to admit that he was in love with Castiel, so he wasn't sure how to do it normally. He wasn't sure if, just now, finally blurting it out was handling it normally.</p><p>"Okay. I can see why she'd promise something that big then. I'd do the same in her position."</p><p>That made Dean turn to him with annoyed eyebrows raised. "Really? You would promise to do whatever I say, as long as I confess my feelings to someone you've never met, eventually, should I ever see him again?"</p><p>Luc looked up thoughtfully, then nodded. "Yep. It's more than worth it."</p><p>Dean's eyebrows crept up further. "Seriously, why? What do you two gain from that? You've never even met Cas!"</p><p>Lucifer smiled at him. "No, but that doesn't really matter, does it?"</p><p>"I think it does!"</p><p>"It really doesn't. You love him, right?"</p><p>God, that was weird to hear coming from someone else's mouth. "...yes…"</p><p>"Then who he is doesn't matter."</p><p>Dean narrowed his eyes, realizing Luc had an ulterior motive. "Are you seriously pushing a pro-angel agenda to me right now? Do you really think I'd be here talking to you if I still had a problem with angels, the-actual-devil-Lucifer?"</p><p>"Yeah, but you're not in love with me," Lucifer added, crossing his arms.</p><p>"Well, you've got me there!"</p><p>"I'm serious, Dean. But it's not the angel thing that I'm talking about."</p><p>"Then what is it, Luc? You're confusing me here."</p><p>"It's vulnerability."</p><p>Dean threw his hands in the air. "Unbelievable. You think I can't be vulnerable?"</p><p>Lucifer's eyes went wide. "Don't you start! Do I need to remind you that it took you three days of delirium and an actual Leviathan ripping your guts out to let me heal a broken leg?"</p><p>Dean opened his mouth to argue, but he couldn't. Lucifer had a point. It wasn't like Dean was only ever a stubborn ass when faced with archangels. That was half of who he was. He got it from his dad and certainly helped give it to his brother. And the fact that he not only didn't tell Cas how he felt before but actually didn't even know how he felt in the first place spoke volumes to exactly how vulnerable he had been capable of being.</p><p>"Dean, I know you have walls in your mind," Lucifer broke the silence. "But you do understand that a normal person's walls aren't the damn Great Wall of China, right?"</p><p>Dean sighed in defeat but met him with a non-threatening stare. "Yes, but what's your point here, Luc?"</p><p>"When you look at that photo, you're happy. You aren't guarded." Lucifer's gaze was reaching a debilitating level of sincerity. "It's not much of a stretch that the only people that bring you joy are your brother and the person you're in love with. And I care about you, Dean. You and Kevin and hell, even the Mills, you're my family. I don't want you to be here!"</p><p>"Jeez, tell me how you really feel."</p><p>Lucifer punched his arm. "You know what I mean! Selfishly, I love that you're here because you make all of this stuff seem easier, but the part of me that cares about you is the same part of me that wants you to be able to go home and never have to come back." He gave Dean a weak smile. "I want you to have someone to go home to. And this Cas, he makes you happy. But you have to admit, you weren't vulnerable with him or your brother before it was too late, am I right?"

Dean's embarrassed silence was answer enough.</p><p>"Obviously, I would have made the same deal that Mia did. Because there is nothing more important than your happiness, a happiness that exists out there, somewhere, and I would do anything to be a part of you achieving that. Clearly, so would Amelia."</p><p>Dean stared into Luc's eyes. Who was he really? When had Dean stumbled upon this archangel, one who had spent his life striving to avoid causing people any grief?</p><p>And what exactly had Dean done to deserve his admiration, respect, loyalty, and devotion? What had he done to earn it from Mia? Or Kevin? Shouldn't everyone be holding him at the cold distance that Jody held him at?</p><p>What the hell had he done to deserve it from Cas? All he'd ever done was repeatedly put him down and get angry at him. So what, he might have thanked him a few times. Did that undo the world of pain and suffering Cas went through for him, that he never reciprocated? Maybe once or twice, but how was that enough to repay the angel who pulled him from hell? He hadn't been there for him when it counted.</p><p>Cas didn't love him back. How could he? How could he ever?</p><p>Dean offered Lucifer a weak smile but didn't add anything as he went inside, leaving Lucifer staring at him from behind.</p><p>Lucifer watched as the troubled hunter wandered back inside. He felt like he might have done some damage there, though that was not his intention. Perhaps enlightening Dean about his own vulnerability had caused him to retreat back inside his walls, or maybe his profession of how much he and Mia cared about him only made him feel more self-deprecating than ever.</p><p>He wanted to follow Dean inside, but he knew it wouldn't do anything. Whatever was going through Dean's head at the moment wouldn't disappear with any words Luc could think up.</p><p>All the archangel really wanted to do was snap his fingers and open a rift to Dean's bunker and push him through. Or maybe, jump into that photo and shake Cas's hand. Something. Anything.

There were some things about humanity that he feared he'd never understand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you guys for all the comments! I love reading them :)))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Doing What You're Told</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>One year passes with Dean stuck in this alternate world, Mia is reading Samuel Campbell's journals, Dean and Kevin are working together, and Lucifer just wants everyone to get along and go camping</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't his fault. He would be swearing that it wasn't his fault to his grave.</p><p>Mia listened to him, and she never broke their deal. She poured over books about witchcraft and magic every time Dean ran into her. She was always reading and writing things down in a journal, and she never let Dean see.</p><p>However, she did show her research to Lucifer periodically, and they would disappear together, only for Dean to find her again later with new books about new subjects.</p><p>Sometimes she had maps or old and clearly used journals, and she refused to explain what they were for. It was a bit infuriating, but Dean conceded her information to her because he didn't want to risk riling her up again and forcing her back outside.</p><p>But after months and months of that routine, Dean was greeted by Sean and Jody Mills sitting across from him at one of the cafeteria tables.</p><p>He had been drumming his fingers on his coffee mug, listening to the muted chatter of the other people up this early. He was staring at a notepad full of names that he was grouping together, a list of different progress levels, and field team recommendations.</p><p>After that first battle, a month into his stay, it became evident that they needed to continue it. Monsters only kept rolling in, and unless they had some way to send them all back to Purgatory, they could manage just fending them off from the base. So he'd been coordinating groups and continuing his monster-fighting training.</p><p>The place was running pretty smoothly, with Dean and Lucifer running things. Kevin thrived providing organization but not having to coordinate anything, and Dean was starting to understand why Sam liked leading those Apocalypse World hunters so much. And though Lucifer felt he didn't do much else besides guard the base overnight and snap his fingers to cause the occasional Leviathan to disintegrate, everyone, especially Dean, found themselves most comfortable viewing Lucifer as one of the people in charge.</p><p>The only difference now was that people were starting to put Dean and Lucifer on the same level, which Dean was not used to, but Lucifer appreciated to no end.</p><p>One morning, in particular, as Dean was drinking his coffee, he never wished to not be in charge quite as much as at that moment.</p><p>"Good morning, Sean, Jody," Dean acknowledged as they sat down.</p><p>Sean had a big smile on his face as usual, and Jody looked indifferent or annoyed, as usual. "Happy anniversary, Dean-o!" Sean said cheerily.</p><p>Dean looked up from his coffee again, confused. "Anniversary? Did I miss my wedding?"</p><p>The joke made Sean laugh too much, and Jody didn't respond at all. It was almost funny to Dean how different the two were.</p><p>"No, you jokester!" Sean laughed. "It's been officially one year since you joined us here at the base!"</p><p>Dean almost spat out his coffee but decided it would be less gross to just momentarily choke on it instead.</p><p>A year. It had been a year.</p><p>Of course, he had been aware of the passing of time, the changing of the weather per season, exactly how much it hurt to look at that photo he always had in his pocket. But spending this time here, he had learned to rationalize his feelings.</p><p>Now that he knew that he loved Cas and knew that there was no simple, quick way home, and he knew that he could protect these survivors, he had just adapted. Lucifer, Kevin, and the Mills--even Jody, though her participation was always reluctant--had become his new lifeline. He relied on them, he loved them, he would risk anything for them. It gave him purpose and sanity. He needed purpose, and he definitely needed sanity.</p><p>But a year? It felt too long. He wondered what Sam and Cas were doing right now, at this moment. Were they out on a hunt, sleeping in ratty motel rooms, braiding Sam's hair, and falling off beds? Driving the Impala around with the windows down, blasting Vince Vincente now that Dean wasn't in charge of the music? Were they arguing over who would be forced to make breakfast before giving up and just buying food?</p><p>As long as they had fun and lived a life without him, he could be content. He could let his mind wander and envision them having fun and bickering during a case, and he could pretend he was just invisible, in the backseat, watching them. As long as they weren't back home, being sad or angry or searching for him. He hoped they had long since given up searching for him so that they wouldn't have wasted the last year looking for him. He didn't want to take up their heads with worry or fear; he wanted them to have fun, laugh, and be happy.</p><p>"Well, happy anniversary to me, I guess," Dean responded nonchalantly, unable to hide the slightly sad lilt in his voice. Both the Mills seemed to pick up on that, which sobered Sean ever so slightly, and actually drew Jody from her annoyed face to one of sympathy for a moment. "Well!" Dean clapped his hands and rubbed them together, bringing himself back to the present. "I don't suppose you're here to give me an anniversary gift, so what's up with you guys?"</p><p>Jody glanced at her husband, giving him a pushing stare. "Well, Dean, we were wondering," Sean's voice was unsteady and slightly nervous, which Dean did not expect from the man. "If you would mentor Mia."</p><p>Dean's eyes bulged out of his head, and he felt as though they could fall to the floor and roll away. What the hell was the matter with them? And why wasn't Jody smacking her husband upside the head for the mere suggestion?</p><p>Actually, why did Jody look normal? Like… dear god...why the actual fuck did Jody come up with this idea.</p><p>"I'm sorry?" That was all Dean could manage to say, completely stunned.</p><p>Dean had managed a feat no one else could eleven months ago. He managed to get Amelia Mills to back down from her incessant need to fight monsters and help out. For the last year since, she had been staying inside, reading and researching and writing, completely safe and out of harm's way. It was the perfect solution, and all Dean had to do was promise to be honest with a certain angel when the time (which may never plausibly come) came.</p><p>And now, the very same parents who had been so terrified for their reckless-turned-cautious daughter were asking Dean to push her back to that reckless category.</p><p>"Look, I know we don't have the best relationship, Winchester, and I know that it's because of me," Jody admitted unapologetically. "And I'm not sure I'll ever be in a position to become your best friend, but Mia is… she's not okay."</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? She's reading and dedicated to… something." Even Dean couldn't really put his finger on what her research was becoming these days. It started out as her trying to find a way for Dean to go home, that was what she said in their deal, but she had refused to show him any of it or even talk about it with him.</p><p>"She's exhausted. I know my daughter; she's desperate and frustrated." Jody was looking more and more upset, but it wasn't aimed at him for once over the course of this year. "I'm not asking her to stop this little secret project she has, but I want her to get out more. And I want her to be able to defend herself. She's seventeen; she'll be an adult in a few months. I don't want her to be defenseless in the future because I crushed her spirit at sixteen. "</p><p>"You didn't crush her spirit!" Dean objected. "She was out of control, putting herself in danger. She needed to step down, and that's exactly what she did."</p><p>"We know she only did it for you. We don't know why, but she listens to everything you say," Sean continued. "Maybe us trying to control her so much is driving a wedge between us. I love my daughter, and I love her enough to let her make her own choices." He sighed, sounding a bit more like his wife. "And her choice is to do whatever you ask. So we're asking you to use that power."</p><p>Dean was definitely taken aback. Part of him wanted to just say no. After all, he too cared about Mia and didn't want her running about trying to fight monsters like she did when he met her, but he couldn't deny that they had a point. Mia had spent the last year in a shell, and he hadn't exactly been able to crack it.</p><p>"Alright," he agreed. "I'll take her out on field missions, train her, but I'm not going to let her out on any solo mission, okay?"</p><p>"That's perfect!" Sean said with a smile.</p><p>-</p><p>"I don't understand why we have to do...this!" Mia shouted after Dean as she fell behind, tripping over roots and uneven ground. She wasn't used to being outside much these days, and she wasn't sure why Dean wanted to take her out all of a sudden.</p><p>To be honest, she'd seen their relationship through a singular lens. He was her hero; the research she had been working on with Lucifer for the past year had all been about him and for him.</p><p>While Dean was off with Kevin, putting together teams, training people, fighting monster after monster, she sat in the abandoned halls of the school, reading and writing and brainstorming, doing everything she could. She left Dean out of it, so even though it was about and for him, he had seen very little of her. But he was always on her mind, so she had barely noticed.</p><p>The first month after they made their deal, Mia was convinced that it wouldn't be a good idea for any of this to get around to Lucifer or Kevin. She assumed that if they knew the details, they would tell Dean, and she didn't want Dean to show up and derail her leads or ideas before she'd had the chance to flesh them out. She needed to view this whole "alternate universe rift making" business with fresh, unbiased eyes. So, she started a chain of command. She began outsourcing her needs so that Lucifer wouldn't suspect her. She borrowed witchcraft books from Jesse, having him ask Lucifer to bring him some. Then, to keep Lucifer from thinking Jesse was losing his mind, she turned to Hanna and had her request more when the ones from before turned up nothing.</p><p>However, this incredibly flawed plan unraveled as Lucifer found her with a stack of witchcraft books in the hallway, books that he specifically flew out to fetch for different people, and Mia explained her deal with Dean. He had been familiar with the deal, but he didn't know about that part of it, possibly because Dean assumed nothing would ever come of it, and it merely posed as the least important part of their deal.</p><p>Lucifer ended up being the best help she could ask for. The moment she said she was researching ways to get Dean home, he jumped at the chance to help. He really did want Dean to go home and to make do on his side of the promise. He just wanted him to be happy.</p><p>In the last month, they had a breakthrough.</p><p>When Lucifer was rummaging through an abandoned house belonging to a witch researching alternate realities, he found a journal belonging to an old hunter named Samuel Campbell. He had been searching for a gun that could kill anything, so Lucifer thought it would be worth a read. After all, it might be a helpful thing to have.</p><p>But as Mia poured through Samuel's scrawlings, she found something that caught her eye.</p><p>It read: "Today, I heard rumors of a man in the mountains who may have the Colt. He's rumored to be incredibly powerful, and it will require risk to seek him out, but he has many of the world's most desired magic artifacts."</p><p>As she read through the list of items he had, he saw "Fruit from the Tree of Life" and immediately sought out Lucifer to tell him.</p><p>They were thrilled; they finally had a lead. That was one of the things necessary to create a rift to send Dean home; all they had to do was find this man and ask for his help. Or find what remains of the man and take the fruit from him.</p><p>But instead of going through Samuel Campbell's eighth journal, Dean had pulled her outside, saying that it was time for her to get out and start training.</p><p>Mia had really wanted to stay and read through Samuel's many, many journals in hopes of finding out if Samuel ever found the man in the mountains, but as per her deal, she couldn't say no. Nor did she especially want to, because it would just raise questions from Dean, and she didn't want to get his hopes up yet.</p><p>"I also don't understand why he's here," Mia jabbed her arm behind her, pointing at the man shuffling behind them, even slower and more clumsily than Mia, which did make her feel a bit better.</p><p>"Because you're out of practice. You both are!" Dean called back, not slowing down at all.</p><p>"I can't be out of practice if I never practiced in the first place!" Kevin protested, audibly out of breath. Dean finally let out an annoyed sigh and stopped, letting the two of them catch up to him.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Kev, but you're the only person I haven't sent out on patrol yet, and I can't keep playing favorites."</p><p>"Aw, I'm your favorite?" Kevin teased, but the condescension was undercut by his loud panting breaths.</p><p>Mia rolled her eyes. "Don't get excited Kevin, he just likes your doppelganger."</p><p>"Hey, that's not true! I help Dean out all the time."</p><p>"Would you two stop it?!" Dean was beginning to regret bringing both of them out. He promised Sean and Jody he'd take out Mia, and he had meant to force Kevin into some actual fieldwork, so he figured what's the harm in killing two birds with one stone?</p><p>The harm was that the birds were loud and annoying and wouldn't stop arguing.</p><p>It was like running around with children. Mia was still technically a child, and Dean would probably always see Kevin as a kid, but come on. He was well into his late twenties.</p><p>After another hour or so of walking, Dean let out a frustrated shout. Mia and Kevin had not stopped like he asked and had instead spent the entire trek arguing about literally anything that their topic morphed into. For the first time in a very long time, Dean was disappointed to have not run into any damn Purgatory monsters.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Mia asked, batting her eyes innocently. Dean shot her a glare that sent her a step back before he slumped his shoulders and let out a defeated sigh. He wouldn't get anywhere yelling at them.</p><p>"Sorry. Just… Kevin, Mia, go look for firewood. We'll camp out here for the night." Dean was already kicking leaves and sticks away from this small clearing, dragging a massive log over as a makeshift seat.</p><p>Kevin and Mia shared a look. "You want us to sleep… here? Outside?" Kevin asked tentatively.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "Christ, you guys, Luc is going to join us. No one's getting eaten in their sleep."</p><p>Mia's eyes bugged out of her head. "Wait, this was the plan the whole time? Lucifer isn't just going to fly us home?"</p><p>Dean couldn't believe it; it really felt like he was playing a dad in this scenario. "Yes, we're camping in the woods. Now go get all the firewood you can carry, and I better not hear a single argument from you idiots!" He shouted after them while he physically pushed them away.</p><p>"I can't imagine how your day's gone," Lucifer's familiar presence appeared from behind him. "Sean and Jody will be grateful."</p><p>"Please," Dean turned and smiled at his friend. "Jody won't ever be grateful for anything that I'm involved in."</p><p>Lucifer nodded as he sat down on the log, watching as Dean dragged a slightly smaller one across from it. "Maybe you're right, but at least she asked you to take Mia out."</p><p>"Yeah, and look out how that's going. I thought I heard a rustling in the bush earlier, but it was a deer. Since when do I not come across any monsters? My luck has never been that good, Luc."</p><p>The archangel cocked his head. "You're right. That doesn't really make any sense." He narrowed his eyes. "Delia had a patrol return nothing last night."</p><p>Dean mimicked his movements. "I had a troupe go out two days ago and turn up nothing. I just figured… you know… gift horse."</p><p>Lucifer nodded, stroking his chin and looking off distantly. "I don't like it, Dean. It's the kind of calm before the storm I don't trust."</p><p>"What storm?" Kevin's voice chimed in from the side. He and Mia definitely took the "all the firewood they could carry" demand literally. He couldn't even see Mia's face. They basically just dropped it all gracelessly in between the two log seats, and Dean got on one knee beside it.</p><p>"Alright guys, if I can't teach you how to kill vampires, I can at least teach you to camp."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am sort of basing Sean on Garth lol, I didn't even notice X) but I just think it's a funny juxtaposition, this more strict, angry Jody compared with a happy-go-lucky husband</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Be Your Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After living through three years in the alternate world, Lucifer and Mia have a discovery that may be Dean's first step to going home, if he can put up with any more archangels, that is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three years. Dean had been in this world for three years. He had been cut off from his brother for three years. He had been unable to see his angel for three years. Three damn years.</p><p>The first year had almost been easier because everything was newer. Dean had Lucifer, his strong-willed confidante, Kevin, the nervous neurotic, and Mia, the stubborn kid who holed up in isolation reading every day. He sent out groups of survivors to protect their school-turned-home from Purgatory monsters, and he felt like he was sticking it to Chuck for trying to ruin him by imprisoning him here.</p><p>The problem with the second and third year was that it was the same. The only change was that there were barely any monsters around anymore. Maybe they learned to stay away from the school; perhaps they indeed had killed off all the monsters in the forest and just kept killing them faster than they could replicate. It didn't matter.</p><p>It was like when Dean broke his leg three years ago before this whole mess started. He was unable to do anything, there were no cases to solve, and there was no way he could drive his poor sweet Baby, but here there was very little privacy. He couldn't just hole up in his room because he shared it with four other people.</p><p>He knew he shouldn't complain. He had it good, he was surrounded by friendly people in a large abandoned school, and his best friend was an archangel who could fly him anywhere in the world at the drop of a hat; they never had to worry about going hungry or running out of clean clothes.</p><p>But it didn't stop Dean from being incredibly homesick.</p><p>Camping trips with Luc, Kevin, and Mia became a weekly thing they all enjoyed. Kevin was the last to start enjoying it, but even he eventually liked the quiet that came with it, compared to their base with a hundred people all sleeping and turning lights on and off at different times.</p><p>During these trips, they all spilled their life stories. Mia told them more about the girl she had been in love with and several interesting high school anecdotes. Kevin told them stories about what college was like and the vacations he took with his eccentric mother. Lucifer shared some stories from when he and his brothers were young, and Dean shared basically everything he could think of.</p><p>Everyone liked Dean's stories the best. He had lived one hell of a life before this, and they loved hearing about it. Maybe it just made them feel better to know that times could and have been worse. Sometimes Dean would just share the details of a tedious hunt he did with Sam, and they liked listening to those stories just as much, if not more.</p><p>Occasionally they would revert to children when he would mention Cas, and he always tried to be careful with how he spoke about him. If he so much as mentioned him in a positive capacity, his three friends would wiggle their eyebrows at each other or giggle like actual kids. One time, Mia and Kevin actually got up and slow danced in a circle around the fire, pretending they were at Cas and Dean's "wedding." It was embarrassing, but it always made Dean laugh.</p><p>And every night, without fail, Dean would pull out the photo he had of him, Cas, and Sam. He would stroke the image of Cas's face, and he would stare into photo Sam's eyes and pretend that he was there, looking back at him.</p><p>Little did he know, his three friends saw him do this a lot. After all, he shared a room with Kevin and Mia every night at the base, and during the camping trips Lucifer still didn't sleep and just watched over them. Not that Dean particularly cared if people were watching him stare at his photo anyway.</p><p>He really did try to stay the same, try to be the same happy, excited, confident hunter he was in his first year there, but every once in a while, he became see-through again. People would catch him staring off into the distance, unable to snap out of it, or recklessly walking through the forests completely unarmed.</p><p>Lucifer noticed this every single day. Sure, Dean didn't really break character every day, some days he was genuinely happy, and others he was able to wear that genuine-happiness mask around everyone without wavering, but Lucifer knew the truth.</p><p>As time was going on, Dean wasn't "getting used to it"; it only made every day harder and harder to go through. Lucifer knew because that's what it was like when he was in the cage, and he was locked in there for centuries.</p><p>Maybe that's why he pushed the weekly camping trips so much at first. He wanted to give Dean one moment away from the base, surrounded by people that loved him, in a setting that didn't always remind him that he was locked out of his home. After all, trees were trees in any universe.</p><p>However, this particular night, he broke his promise with Mia.</p><p>She insisted that they keep Dean out of their research, thinking that it would only hurt him until they had actual results. Lucifer promised not to tell him anything; after all, he knew better than anyone else how much false hope could hurt the hunter.</p><p>And two months prior, they uncovered Samuel Campbell's last journal. On the first page was a beautifully detailed drawing of a cliffside and waterfall, and it felt familiar to the archangel in an odd way; however, he couldn't place it. In the journal, Samuel claimed that his drawing was taken from a map, and he was sure that it was the place he could find the man with those artifacts. Considering they had seldom made any progress in the three years since Dean had arrived, this drawing had been their best hope.</p><p>Yet, for the two months following, they hadn't made any progress on where precisely that drawing was supposed to lead. They had no map and no starting location, and Samuel's last entry just said that he found out where it was and was going to journey there. The lack of follow up was a bit unsettling, especially considering he only got maybe ten pages into the journal with the rest of the pages blank.</p><p>Samuel Campbell had fifty-six journals. And they were hell to read through. They were filled with shorthand and messy notes all over the margins and random phone numbers or things he wrote down to avoid forgetting. Mia devoted three weeks to decipher what she thought was a code in journal nineteen but was just a horribly worded grocery list. So seeing a journal so empty was shocking.</p><p>But he didn't figure it out right away.</p><p>"It's so hot outside!"</p><p>"Well, I can't control the damn weather, Mia!"</p><p>"You can't control anything. You're a manchild."</p><p>"Excuse me? I'm almost thirty. And I'm definitely more responsible than you."</p><p>"Really? Oh, is THAT what you call what I saw last week?"</p><p>"For the last time, I did not request Lucifer to go get bubble solution for me; it was for a kid!"</p><p>"Sure it was. Which kid?"</p><p>"You know... Timmy..."</p><p>"You made that up."</p><p>"No, I didn't! Ask him yourself!"</p><p>"Ask imaginary-Timmy?"</p><p>"I swear to god, Mia!"</p><p>Dean and Lucifer were lying side by side, staring up at the stars between the trees and listening to the familiar arguing of Kevin and Mia a few feet away.</p><p>Dean's chest rose and fell as he chuckled silently along with them. "Did Kevin really make you get him… bubble solution?"</p><p>Lucifer let out a small laugh in reply. "And it wasn't for ‘Timmy’."</p><p>They lied in silence for a little while, Kevin and Mia mumbling about something neither were paying any mind to.</p><p>"Dean, is it okay if I ask you something… personal?"</p><p>"You can ask me anything, Luc."</p><p>The archangel hesitated. "It's been three years." He waited in case Dean would interrupt him or tell him not to go there, but the hunter simply continued staring up at the stars above them. "Do you… do you resent us?"</p><p>Dean sat up straight, a bewildered look on his face. Lucifer followed suit, mad at himself for even bringing it up. "Resent you? Why would I ever resent you? You all have been what has saved me." He let out a sigh, rubbing his face with his hand. "Look, I know that lately, things haven't been like they used to be, but… what things used to be weren't necessarily good. I was in denial about where I was, and I busied myself fighting monsters, but Luc, that was at least two years ago. Things have changed. I know where I'm at, and I'm figuring out how to be okay with that." Lucifer still didn't look like he understood; he still stared at him with those sad, pitying eyes that Dean hated so much. "I miss Cas. I miss Sam. You know how that feels. Don't you miss your brothers?"</p><p>Finally, Lucifer looked like he understood. He missed them every day, Gabriel, Michael, Raphael…</p><p>Lucifer leaped to his feet, a hand over his mouth. Dean scrambled up after him. "What's wrong? Luc, you okay?"</p><p>He was okay. And he was not. There were a lot of emotions going through him at the moment. "Mia!" He shouted instead, earning a single raised eyebrow from Dean but no protest.</p><p>In an instant, Mia and Kevin were in front of them. "Lucifer, what's going on?" Mia asked suspiciously.</p><p>"I know." He tried to explain. "I know where the picture is from."</p><p>"What picture?" Kevin chimed in, but he didn't have a moment to share his confusion as it seemed he and Dean were the only ones left out of the loop.</p><p>"Oh my god, wait, are you serious? You're not joking?"</p><p>Lucifer shook his head wildly. "I didn't recognize it because the land has shifted and changed since I was there last. But I knew there was something familiar about the image. I knew it."</p><p>Dean and Kevin both shared an exasperated look. "Want to let us in on this, you guys?" Kevin asked desperately, hating being left out of the loop.</p><p>Lucifer and Mia's excitement quickly shifted to guilt, which only made Dean and Kevin more frustrated. Mia turned to Dean and took a deep breath. "As you know, as per the terms of our deal, for the last three years, I have been researching ways to get you home. And I haven't been… incredibly… successful, but I have been making progress.</p><p>"I found these journals written by a hunter who spends way too much time writing, but he claimed that there was a man who owned many magical artifacts, and one of those artifacts he listed was fruit from the Tree of Life. So I had Lucifer get me the rest of his journals, and in his last journal, he finally found the place, and he drew it, but his last entry was him leaving to go seek out the man, and there was no further record as to what happened."</p><p>Dean's eyes were wide. "I'm sorry, you've figured all of this out?"</p><p>Mia nodded sheepishly. "I didn't exactly want to tell you," she added with a glare to Lucifer, who cowered down a bit. "But Lucifer, how do you know the place?"</p><p>Lucifer took a heavy breath. "I actually know the man. And he's no man at all. It's my brother, Raphael."</p><p>-</p><p>Lucifer didn't have the time to feel stupid after being chided by Mia for not realizing that Samuel had been referring to his brother the entire time.</p><p>It made sense; Raphael had become a nomad, living in the mountains of Canada, who collected precious items and hoarded them like a mythological dragon would hoard gold. He had seen so little of his brothers over his lifetime in the cage that it hadn't occurred to him to see or think about the one that was still alive.</p><p>That was the problem, Raphael was his only living brother, but Chuck turned all of his brothers against him when he locked him away; he learned that much from his brief reunion with Michael before he died for him.</p><p>That was why he had to endure this dreadful argument with Mia so early in the morning.</p><p>It had been two days since his camping trip revelation, and they had not left yet. Mia was growing more and more frustrated as she paced the roof of the school where Kevin, Dean, and Lucifer had been sitting and having a civil, reasonable conversation.</p><p>"You're not coming?!" Mia was fuming. "You know how insane that is, don't you? He probably killed Samuel because lord knows nothing else would stop that man from incessantly writing."</p><p>"Can I just point out how weird it is that the man who wrote the journals was Dean's grandfather? Let's talk about that!" Kevin interjected, trying to cut the tension. Dean shot him a grateful smile for his attempts.</p><p>Mia scoffed. "Yeah, all the more reason to have our resident archangel go. Do you think Samuel had a fair fight? No offense, Dean."</p><p>Dean raised his hands. "Hey, I hated his doppelganger, so throw all the offense around that you want." He used this opportunity to try and push his suggestion again. "You know, considering all of this-"</p><p>"Don't even start with that 'let's just drop it' bullshit Dean Winchester. You promised me that if the time came where a way home became plausible, you would take it." Mia protested immediately with stony resolve.</p><p>"You sound like your mother," Dean grumbled in lieu of an actual reply.</p><p>"Thank you," she added with a tight nod before turning back to Lucifer. "You can't sit this out. You want Dean to go home, don't you?"</p><p>That was a low blow, and she knew it. Lucifer squirmed, obviously uncomfortable, and Dean responded before Lucifer could. "That's not fair, Mia. We can't force him to go. And we shouldn't have to," he added, to appease his friend. "Why don't you and I go? Luc will fly us close, and then we'll reason with Raphael. If things get out of control, we can pray and have Luc fetch us. Deal?"</p><p>It was clearly non-negotiable from Dean's tone, and even her Jody-impression wouldn't get her out of this one. She huffed indignantly. "Fine. But Kevin's in charge of making sure my parents don't worry where I've gone."</p><p>"I can do that!" Kevin replied, a little too excited. Obviously, he was dying to be a part of this, but his skill set was not prepared for "dealing with possibly murderous archangels."</p><p>Dean nodded to him. "Then it's settled. You guys go get some food, and then we'll leave." His eyes followed Mia and Kevin as they walked to the door leading to the stairs, leaving just Dean and Lucifer on the roof together. Dean went back to sitting beside the archangel, his legs dangling and swaying in time with his. "What's up, Luc?"</p><p>"I'm really sorry."</p><p>"You have nothing to apologize for! I just want to know what's wrong." He looked over at his friend with as much sympathy and compassion as he could muster. "I know you loved your brothers, Luc. So why don't you want to see one of them now that you have the chance?"</p><p>Lucifer lowered his head. "I'm not you, Dean, and Raphael isn't Sam. We're not super close; we didn't share our lives for a really long time. To him, I'm his brother who betrayed our father and paid the highest price. He'll see me as nothing more than scum." He spat out the last word.</p><p>"You know that things haven't always been good between Sam and me," Dean reasoned. "Remember when I told you about when I had the Mark? Or when I tricked him into letting an angel in that ended up killing our Kevin Tran? Or maybe when I went behind his back and made a demon deal that sent me to hell for him? Or when he drank demon blood? We don't have a normal relationship. Hell, we definitely don't have a healthy one. But we love each other. We'd do anything for each other." He put a hand on Lucifer's knee. "We forgive each other."</p><p>Lucifer looked up to the sky and took a deep inhale. "It's been centuries since I've seen him. I just can't… not after what Chuck has done."</p><p>The hunter offered him a small smile. "That's okay. It's perfectly understandable, and I'm not mad. Mia isn't even mad; she just doesn't understand. I promise everything is okay."</p><p>Lucifer offered him a more genuine smile than before. "This is the first step, Dean. We're close. We're so close."</p><p>Dean really wanted to believe him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you guys for commenting and leaving kudos :) I will definitely be posting the next two chapters in the next two days because they take place (for the most part) in the same setting, however I split it into two chapters because it's pretty long! So look out for a very Destiel-y chapter next!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Millennium Bug</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia and Dean have a mountainside heart-to-heart about Dean's side of their deal, and Raphael makes a very generous offer</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean opened his eyes after the familiar rush of wind had left him. The air was colder, and he felt a chill run through his bones, but he was in a gorgeous place.</p><p>He, Mia, and Luc were on the side of a mountain. All around were beautiful patches of nature peeking through the crags and dips in the rock he stood on. He could see land stretch on for miles and the tips of mountains nearest them. He couldn't see the top of the mountain they stood on; he only saw more flora reaching higher. He could hear the rumble and crash of a waterfall that he had to squint to see.</p><p>"This is as far as I can take you without Raphael feeling my presence," Lucifer warned. "If anything goes wrong, if he so much as lifts his hand to snap his fingers, you pray to me, and you'll be out of there immediately, and we'll find the fruit some other way. Promise?"</p><p>Dean scoffed at him. "You worry too much, Luc. We'll be fine. Right, Mia?"</p><p>She gave them both a determined nod. "Of course. We have each other's backs, and that's all we need."</p><p>Lucifer still looked unsure, but he gave in. "Alright, well, at least promise that when you pray to me for a lift home, you'll come to this same spot, not an inch closer, and you'll preface that you guys are fine in your prayers."</p><p>"Fine, now shoo! Go placate my parents with Kevin," Mia joked. They turned and started their hike to the waterfall, aware of Lucifer's gaze following them. "Yeesh, you'd think he'd loosen up a bit. We've been off fighting Purgatory monsters for years, and I'm not exactly a kid anymore."</p><p>"Jesus Christ Mia, you're nineteen. Do you even know how old I am?!"</p><p>"Hmm… I want to say… fifty?"</p><p>"Haha, very funny you little shit," Dean shot her a murderous glare. "To be fair, you aren't that far off these days."</p><p>Dean was born in 1979, and if it had been 2020 when Chuck kidnapped him here, that meant he was forty-four. Forty-four! How insane was that? True, he was only three years older, but it both felt too little and too long.</p><p>"So what will you do when you get home?" Mia asked after tripping over her fourth rock during their silent trek.</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow at her. "Why so interested now, Mia?"</p><p>"Oh please. I've always been interested. If I wasn't, would I have spent so much damn time reading your crazy grandpa's journals? Not to mention we're literally only a few minutes away from the first step to getting you home."</p><p>"First of all, you didn't know he was my grandfather. And second, Lucifer was my first step to getting home. Archangel grace is a pretty important part of the spell, and usually, the hardest to find."</p><p>"Okay, whatever, fine, so the second step. Or third, if you count your hair. But I'm serious, Dean."</p><p>He sighed; he knew he wasn't getting out of this one. "Well, I want to sleep on a mattress. Eat frozen food again. Have access to the internet. Take a shower that's not in an old boy's locker room with ten other dudes." He glanced over at Mia. "But that's the fun stuff, the little perks. You know what it is I really want."</p><p>"Your family," she answered. "Your brother and Cas."</p><p>"Yes, I miss them and think about them every day, but it isn't just them I miss. I miss all of my friends too. Garth, and Bobby, the one from the other universe, of course, and Jody. My Jody, the one who doesn't hate my guts, and her girls."</p><p>Mia nodded along with him. "That sounds nice. Better than nice. But let's not forget the one thing you promised to do…"</p><p>"Yeah yeah, I know," Dean said, elbowing her in the side. "Telling Cas how I feel."</p><p>"Which is that you love him."</p><p>"That was implied."</p><p>"You didn't say it, though."</p><p>"You want me to say it? You already know it!"</p><p>"Yeah, but I want to hear it in sentence form. Come on, I behaved for the last three years practically for this specific thing. Please?"</p><p>Dean rolled his head backward and stared up at the sky. "Oh my god. Fine. I, Dean Winchester, have promised, and continue to promise to tell Castiel, the angel, that I am and have been in love with him," he exaggerated and over-specified his words comically to appease the little schoolgirl marching beside him. "Happy?"</p><p>She looked up thoughtfully. "You should have said you were looking forward to it."</p><p>He squinted at her. "I'm not, though." When he saw her shocked look, he quickly added, "I thought that was obvious!"</p><p>Her eyes were wide. "No, it is not obvious and never was obvious; what the hell do you mean? Kevin and I have been looking forward to that moment for years now!"</p><p>The hunter narrowed his eyes at the girl. "Well, sorry to you and Kevin, but I'm nervous. It's not like it's something I do every day! If it had been easy, don't you think I would have done it years before I ever got to your world?"</p><p>"You didn't know then."</p><p>"True, but maybe if this had been easy, it would have also been more obvious to me back then."

She rolled her eyes. "I guess you have a point, but it still ruins the fantasy. You know, the cute romance story, one professes their love for another."</p><p>"Dear god, you're acting a lot like a teenage girl right now. Which I remembered that you were halfway through that sentence!" He finished with a laugh. "Look, it's not really about telling Cas. It's about what comes after. I'm not reneging on our deal, but it's hard to think about. Because the second I tell him that I'm in love with him, normality goes out of the window. I can say goodbye to my-best-friend-would-do-anything-for-each-other-Cas and hello to awkward-roommate-who-pities-me-and-can-hardly-look-me-in-the-eyes-anymore-Castiel."</p><p>Dean spat out the last little "iel" sound with a disgusted look. Cas' name was fine, pretty even, but calling him Castiel made it feel so informal, like they weren't even friends. And that's what Dean expected would happen after he told Cas the truth.</p><p>"You really think that?"</p><p>"That telling a man I live with and have been friends with for more than ten years that I'm chick-flick hopelessly in love with him? Yeah, I think that's bound to put up a few extra walls."</p><p>"Not that," she waved her hand dismissively. "I mean, do you really think he doesn't love you back?"</p><p>Dean grabbed her by the elbow, stopping both of them in their tracks. "Mia, what part of anything I've told you from the last three years has made you think that Cas would be… in love with me?" Even the concept seemed foreign on his tongue. He tried to ignore how he was self-consciously handling the photo in his pocket.</p><p>She bowed her head and looked up at Dean just beneath her eyebrows, trying to dramatize her "are you an idiot" face for good measure. "Seriously? Seriously, are we going to have this conversation now? I thought we were on the same page."</p><p>"I thought so too. I like Cas; he's just my friend. I promised you three years ago that I would embarrass myself."</p><p>She crossed her arms, firmly planted to the rocks beneath her feet. "Okay, well, since we could die in a few minutes anyway, we're stopping here and having a little chat."</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "That's not necessary, Mia, we should just go see Raphael. We're so close!" He motioned to the waterfall that was now only a few yards out.</p><p>"Nope. We're talking about this."</p><p>"Fine!" Dean threw his hands in the air in defeat. "But Mia, you've never met Cas, sure, I've told you detailed stories, but you've never actually met him. So I don't know how you've convinced yourself you have the highest authority on his feelings." God, this was a weird conversation; it just felt strange to have to even consider Cas might like him back and even considering that consideration made him feel like a little girl!</p><p>She nodded casually. "Yes, but let me get this straight. So he went to hell and dragged you out-"</p><p>"On orders."</p><p>"Right. Then, after spending a little bit of time with you, like in increments of maybe ten to twenty minutes, he decided, screw the institution I've been a part of for centuries, I want to help this random guy now?"</p><p>"Well, I was pretty convincing."</p><p>"Yeah, sure, let's go with that. Then, the first moment you pray for him after a year's sabbatical, he shows up instantly-"</p><p>"He didn't do it for me-"</p><p>"Will you let me finish?" There was her Jody voice again. "Anyway, let's see, he waits for you all night when you're kidnapped by his superiors only to swoop in and save you the moment he can. He showed up to support you during what was supposed to lead to the damn apocalypse, and let's talk about all the times in the later years that he either put up with you, came after you, or just genuinely did whatever he could for you. To me, the most fascinating was when you beat him senseless, and he didn't even fight back at all, though he could have easily done so because he's an angel. Or earlier than that, when he finally had the support and trust of a group of angels, and he threw that all away because he couldn't kill you?"</p><p>Dean just blinked at her. "That's just Cas. He's incredible, but he's not in love with me." He shook his head as if reminding himself that was true. Cas was not in love with him. End of story.

Mia's firm belief to the contrary had given him a spark of hope that he needed to extinguish. He couldn't let himself think crazy things.</p><p>Honestly, he had been regretting his stupid deal with Mia for years now. It was true, he wanted Cas to know the truth, but the more time he spent away from him, the more desperately he tried to cling on to what time he would have left with him if he ever did get home. Because what if it took years and years? What if Dean was old by the time he saw his family again? Or what if he did manage to get home soon, and then he had promised Mia to what? Ruin his relationship with Cas by making it weird and complicated?</p><p>He'd spent three years without him, and he was prepared to deal with spending even more years apart if need be, but there was something worse about being the reason that he wouldn't get to see Cas anymore. I mean, he'd have to go straight from spending years without him to scaring him away? It didn't sit right. But, a deal was a deal.</p><p>Mia sighed and turned back to the waterfall. "Agree to disagree. But either way, if we can get Raphael's help, we'll at least get you home."</p><p>Dean nodded and followed after her. "Let's just hope he's in a helping mood."</p><p>As they approached the waterfall, they could clearly see the large cave opening behind it, but the water was pouring into a drop-off below, and it was a tricky order of steps to stay pressed to the rocks and not hurtle to the ground from the height of a skyscraper.</p><p>Dean went first, his back pressed to the rock as he shuffled sideways across the only-inches thick flat rock sticking out like a shelf that they had to very carefully slide across.</p><p>Mia was a few feet behind, walking slower, but since she was a human skeleton with hair, she managed to walk in a straight line, her shoulder against the rock wall.</p><p>Dean took the small leap from the thin rock they walked along to the long flat, safe rock ground of the cave opening a foot below, getting slightly wet from the water spraying every which direction from the waterfall that was now deafeningly loud. He looked around and saw that it was dark, but he could make out random trinkets and artifacts littering the ground in heaps and piles surrounding him. The whole place was a mess.</p><p>Mia's lighter steps landed with a soft thud behind him. "Whoa…" she noted as she looked around. The artifacts surrounding them varied in state, some looked old and dirty, and others looked like gold and treasure. They were various objects; some he noticed were pocket watches, coins-lots of them, different pieces of jewelry anywhere between gold rings and wood bead rosaries. Mirrors, entire pieces of furniture, dishware, silverware, paintings, figurines, dolls, books, lots and lots of books, even odd things like a folded quilt and an ornate-appearing saltshaker. Those were only a fraction of the items thrown in haphazard piles, leaning against one another or simply against the cliff walls.</p><p>Dean heard a familiar wing flapping sound beside him, then he felt himself be grabbed and then flown with that familiar wind rushing, disorienting feeling. He was suddenly grabbed from behind and had a blade to his throat. He was facing Mia and the waterfall behind her, his back to the cave and its treasures.</p><p>He looked down slightly and saw the hand and the blade pressing against his neck. The hand was dark; though he wasn't sure if that was just the dreadful lighting or not, he could clearly see the blade. It was an archangel blade, the blade that Gabriel had, the one weapon that could kill an archangel.</p><p>It was also the weapon belonging to an archangel.</p><p>"Take another step, and I'll slit his throat, and you know I don't need a blade to take either of you out, so don't try to be smart, Ruth." The deep voice from behind him growled at Mia. Mia was frozen in her tracks, staring between Dean and the man holding him hostage nervously.</p><p>The man paused, and Dean could feel the blade moving ever so slightly from his throat. "You aren't Ruth." He commented to Mia.</p><p>She shook her head, anxiously. "I… um… I don't know who Ruth is. My name is Amelia Mills. That man is Dean Winchester, and can you please let him go? We don't… we don't mean you any harm."</p><p>Much to Dean's surprise, the man let him go, and he quickly walked to Mia before turning to face his previous captor.</p><p>The man was familiar, the same face he had seen twice before, once as an intimidating archangel trapped in a ring of holy fire, and once as the mindless mess that the archangel had left behind. Raphael.</p><p>"I apologize," Raphael began. "I thought you were angels."</p><p>Dean and Mia shared a wary but confused look. "Angels?" Dean prompted.</p><p>Raphael nodded. "Yes, angels are real. I assumed anyone able to seek out my collection would know that."</p><p>Dean cleared his throat. "We do know angels are real, and we know that you're Raphael, the archangel." He could feel Mia stiffen beside him, her having pressed their arms together as though she could just shrink into him. While Raphael hadn't made a stellar first impression, the fact that he wasn't killing them was enough to ease him.</p><p>Raphael narrowed his eyes at them. "I know who you are, Dean Winchester, but you are not the you that you're supposed to be. You're from somewhere else, aren't you?"</p><p>"You're really on the money with that one," Dean admitted. "We came here to ask for your help."

The archangel crossed his arms. "Let me guess, you want my fruit from the Tree of Life and the blood of a most holy man to create a rift to bring you back home?"</p><p>Dean's eyes were wide. It made sense that Raphael could put two and two together after immediately recognizing that Dean wasn't in the right world, but he had no idea that he had two of the three remaining ingredients they needed.</p><p>"Wait, I'm sorry, did you say you have the blood part of the spell in here too?"</p><p>Raphael looked between them; all intimidation went from his figure. "If you didn't know that, then why are you here?"</p><p>"Well, we knew you had the fruit!" Mia defended. "So, will you help us or not?"</p><p>Raphael paused thoughtfully. "I like her," he said pointedly. "Come with me."</p><p>He led them through the cave, and they looked around anxiously, still having not received verbal confirmation that he was helping them.</p><p>"Are you going to kill us?" Mia chimed in from the back.</p><p>Raphael didn't stop walking, but he did respond indignantly. "Why ever would I kill you?"</p><p>"You killed Samuel Campbell."</p><p>"How do you know about Samuel Campbell?"</p><p>"So you admit you killed him!"</p><p>"No!" This time Raphael did stop to turn and face her, Dean moving slightly out of the way. "I tried to save him. He had been searching for the Colt for years, and he arrived at my collection here four years ago, right after God released Purgatory. He had… bad timing, and it got him killed."</p><p>Dean finally decided to say something. "Did Samuel's bad timing have anything to do with these angels you were so worried about?"</p><p>"You're clever. Yes. My father has a group of loyal supporters, both angels and demons, who are determined to 'move this along,' as it were." He let out an annoyed sigh. "Ruth is the leader of those angels, and she is determined to see this rather extended and tediously long apocalypse through. She and her angels come here to try and kill me or destroy my collection all the time these days, so I was a bit on edge during introductions."</p><p>Dean realized what Raphael was saying with some elation. "So you're against what Chuck… I mean, God, is doing?"</p><p>Raphael nodded. "Yes… how did you know his name?"</p><p>"I have had the delightful experience of coming face to face with him on multiple different occasions."</p><p>Raphael's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "I can't say I'm surprised, though I am offended. Even I haven’t had the… pleasure of seeing him that often. Not that it has ever been a ‘pleasure’. My father is a mad man, and I simply want his demise. But I can't do that without…" a sad look washed over his face. "Nevermind. Let's just go get you your ingredients."</p><p>"So you are helping us?" Mia asked, hopefully.</p><p>"Of course. I'll even throw in some of my grace," he added as he stopped and rummaged through a messy pile of things.</p><p>He straightened, pulling out a vial of blood and a fruit, handing it to the two, respectively. Dean eyed the blood with awe as Mia juggled the fruit excitedly.</p><p>"Thank you!" She exclaimed, looking at Raphael with admiration. "And you won't need to give us any of your grace; we have that already. All we need is…" she trailed off as she realized what she had said.</p><p>Raphael eyed them both suspiciously. "What do you mean? Where else would you ever find archangel grace? My brothers are gone."</p><p>Dean put a hand on Mia's shoulder protectively, unsure of how the archangel might respond. Maybe Lucifer had been right in having his fears and doubts, or perhaps he was just paranoid, but either way, they had only known this angel for five minutes and already had to drop a pretty big bomb on him, and they had yet to really gauge his personality.</p><p>"You said your brothers are gone?" Dean decided to open with.</p><p>"Yes. They're dead. All of them."</p><p>That was a surprise. He assumed that Raphael believed Lucifer was still in the cage. "I'm sorry, they're all dead?"</p><p>Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Yes. Gabriel died long ago, and Michael and Lucifer killed each other."</p><p>He couldn't believe it. Chuck had somehow convinced Raphael that Michael and Lucifer killed each other? "That's not actually true, Raphael."</p><p>Raphael's look did not waver, and Dean feared his stoicism more than if he had just shown outrage or any other emotion. "Go on," Raphael said emotionlessly.</p><p>Dean gulped. "Luc...Lucifer didn't do any of the things Chuck said he did, but he locked him in the cage, so it could fit into his perfect little narrative. Michael learned the truth, and he let him out, but Chuck killed him anyway."</p><p>Raphael stood there, staring at them in silence. After a moment, he finally spoke up. "You said he killed 'him.' Not, 'them'?"</p><p>"Lucifer is alive. He flew us here." Dean decided to just rip the band-aid off. Let Raphael deal with the consequences of this knowledge and hope that he believed them.</p><p>"Pray to him."</p><p>"I'm sorry?"</p><p>Raphael sent him a glare. "Pray to him. Bring him here, right now."</p><p>"Listen to me, I'm telling you the truth, he-"</p><p>"Pray to my brother right now." Raphael's voice reached new scary levels of severe and low, so Dean just shared an unsure glance with Mia.</p><p>The last thing he wanted to do was to put Lucifer in danger, but he was getting the feeling that Raphael would not let them leave until either Dean or Mia prayed to him, so Dean took a deep breath and shut his eyes, praying in his mind, telling Lucifer they needed him to come.</p><p>That ever familiar flapping of wings brought with it Lucifer, who was looking around wildly trying to get his bearings before he locked eyes with his brother.</p><p>Raphael and Lucifer stood across from each other, neither making a single move for a long time.</p><p>Finally, Raphael took a step toward his brother, quickly starting toward him.</p><p>Lucifer could barely put his hands up in submission and start saying "Raph-" before the other angel had enveloped him in a hug.</p><p>The blonde archangel froze for a moment, confused, but Raphael patiently did not move. In an instant, Lucifer was returning his brother's hug, silently crying into his shoulder.</p><p>Mia bounced slightly beside Dean, her hands on his shoulder, making a hushed noise that Dean recognized as muffled squealing. He rolled his eyes at her, used to her outbursts of emotionality at this point.</p><p>After a while, the brothers separated. "I thought you were dead, Lucifer!" Raphael shouted, almost condemningly.</p><p>"Well, I didn't know that, but I assumed you would have preferred that."</p><p>"Preferred you to be dead?!" Raphael exclaimed with a shocked and offended expression. "I would never! You're my brother."</p><p>Lucifer looked to the ground, embarrassed. "I know that our father spread lies about me. I just assumed that you believed them. Michael believed them."</p><p>"Yeah, up until the moment he didn't, in which he apparently busted you out?! It never sat well with me. You always loved humanity, you rubbed off on me, but when our father told us what you had done, which I understand was a lie, we didn't know what to think. I was so upset that I came here to my hoarded treasures and hid away from the humans I cared about so much." He gestured to the cave around them. "Here, I was able to stay in isolation while helping the occasional human who sought me out for one of my many magical artifacts."</p><p>Lucifer smiled at him. "I should have just come here with them," he gestured to the two humans behind Raphael, who were just awkwardly listening. "I was scared you would hate me."</p><p>Raphael looked like he was about to toss out some defensive rebuttal, but a look of amazement came on his face. "You're alive, and you were taken from the cage. Do you know what this means?"</p><p>"No…?" Lucifer looked confused.</p><p>Raphael grabbed his brother by the forearms and turned to the two humans with excitement and determination on his face.</p><p>"We can end this apocalypse. We can lock Chuck up for good."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>YAY! Part 2 of this sequence coming tomorrow as usual... expect more Dean gushing over how wonderful he thinks Cas is :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Love Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raphael presents a way to get rid of Chuck for good, and Mia and Dean finish their conversation about</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone's jaws remained open, dangling dangerously low. The words rang through their minds, a hope that seemed so unreachable and intangible, now being spoken like they just made sense.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Lucifer finally said after the long silence that followed Raphael's declaration. "What do you mean by 'we can end this apocalypse'?"</p><p>"Yeah, and what the hell do you mean 'we can lock Chuck up for good'?" Dean added.

"Because I hate him as much as the next guy, but that's never exactly been on the table."</p><p>"I'm with Dean," Mia chimed in. "Fruit was on the table. The blood was just a bonus, and locking up God seems a bit… unreachable."</p><p>Raphael looked between all of them, his confidence and excitement as of yet unwavering. "Chuck can be locked up. Not in a cage, per se, but we can strip him of his powers, locking him to his human form, Chuck. Before, I wasn't sure it would be possible, but now that you're alive, there's hope after all."</p><p>"I've never heard of a way of locking him up. Obviously, I want to, but it's never been a possibility before," Lucifer said quietly.</p><p>Raphael gave him a sad smile. "You've been locked away for centuries, my brother. There are things I've learned and the things I've accomplished here in my isolation that I never thought possible. Why do you think Ruth and her angels want to kill me so badly?"</p><p>"Wait, what?"</p><p>"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Lucifer, our father has been sending his armies of angel loyalists after me for years. Primarily to destroy what I have worked so hard creating here, but mostly because I think he knows that I know how to strip him of his power."</p><p>"So you're suggesting we turn God… human?" Mia brought up hesitantly. "Isn't that like… insane?"</p><p>Raphael shook his head. "It really isn't that complicated. Not if you have enough willing participants."</p><p>"What do you mean by participants?" Dean asked warily. He was hoping this solution wouldn't be clouded by needless human sacrifice. He wouldn't allow Mia or Jody or Sean or Kevin to get involved in this if he could manage it.</p><p>"Don't worry, I'm not talking about humans. I'm talking about archangels."</p><p>Lucifer's eyebrows rose. "Maybe you want to just take a minute and explain this to us?"</p><p>Raphael looked between them all, embarrassment on his face. "Sorry, I just got excited. Chuck can be locked up with four keys. The keys aren't literally key-shaped, considering we're not locking our father in a cage, but they do serve the purpose of a key.</p><p>"There is one key per archangel, a key that signifies their release from their own prisons. The prison concept can vary between literal and figurative, of course, but once you've collected all four keys, all you need to do is to get them all together in a box that no man or entity can open." Raphael let out a small sigh. "That part may be what stumps us, however."</p><p>Dean looked at them thoughtfully. "Not necessarily…" he pondered, more for himself than anyone else. "Back in my world, I created something that I could recreate that would do what you're describing."</p><p>Lucifer's expression morphed into understanding. "The Ma'lak Box," he muttered. That had been his least favorite of Dean's life stories, the time that Dean wanted to lock himself away in a coffin and throw himself into the middle of the ocean. Just thinking about it made him angry, the thought that anything had dared to torment his best friend to the point of making THAT his only reprieve.</p><p>Dean nodded at him. "Precisely," he replied. "I still have the damn box, but we can build a smaller one."</p><p>Raphael nodded excitedly. "Yes, we'll probably have to make a smaller one, but that would be perfect. First, we'll need the keys."</p><p>"How do we find these keys?" Mia prompted.</p><p>Raphael smiled. "Well, Lucifer and I can figure our own keys out. Lucifer, you were held prisoner in the cage for centuries, so yours is more surface level."</p><p>The blonde angel crossed his arms. "There is no key to unlock the cage."</p><p>"True…" Raphael rubbed at his chin, furrowing his eyebrows.</p><p>Mia's face lit up. "Michael!"</p><p>"Sorry?" Raphael replied.</p><p>Mia looked between the archangels. "Lucifer, Michael, let you out of the cage. He was your… key… thing!"</p><p>Raphael looked at the girl in amazement. "Amelia, you're a clever one!" He spun to face his brother. "Do you have something of Michael's? Something deeply connected to him?"</p><p>Lucifer paused for a moment, tapping his foot thoughtfully. "I'm not sure… wait! I have his blade!"</p><p>"That's perfect!" Raphael bounced a bit.</p><p>"What about you? You've been free your entire life."</p><p>"True, my brother, but my prison is one of my own making." He beckoned to the piles of treasures surrounding them. "I have imprisoned myself in this cave. I already have a vial with my key; I've had it ready for years, just in case."</p><p>Raphael disappeared into the darkness only a few feet from them, reemerging with a small glass vial identical to the one Dean had in his pocket with the blood of a most holy man, except his had a clear if not slightly cloudy liquid in it instead.</p><p>He lifted it to eye level and shook it. "It's water from the waterfall. It serves as a gate, isolating me for years."</p><p>"Brilliant!" Lucifer said in awe, taking the vial and looking it over. "So, we have half of what we need to strip our father of his powers?"</p><p>Raphael nodded, a determined look in his eyes. "Yes, but we still need a key from Gabriel and a key from Michael."</p><p>Lucifer chewed on his bottom lip, handing Raphael his key back. "Michael's key might be easier. I know he kept a few writings and had a few angel loyalists that may know the truth about his death." His face became clouded. "Gabriel, I'm not so sure about."</p><p>The brothers shared a long sad look. It was evident that none of them really knew enough about their late brother. Lucifer had told Dean, Mia, and Kevin about Gabriel. Gabriel had been long since dead, he died within a year of Lucifer's imprisonment, and no one knew how or why. Lucifer's best guess was that Gabriel didn't believe God when he lied about Lucifer, and he had been killed for it. Raphael's inability to say anything at this particular moment only convinced Dean that Lucifer's idea was probably right the whole time.</p><p>"Do you all have to be from the same universe?" Dean considered carefully. Everyone turned to look at him, and he almost felt embarrassed if not for remembering how justified he was in thinking so. "I know you don't know your Gabriel very well, but I knew the one from my world. And he was held prisoner by a Prince of Hell for years. I'm sure I could find whatever the key was if we could get back there."</p><p>Raphael smiled brightly at the hunter. He had just met these two humans, but he was pretty impressed by both. This was not how he thought his day would go when it started. "That would be perfect. There's just one problem…" his face fell, not wanting to disappoint the new humans. "I don't have the Seal of Solomon. I don't even know where to find it."</p><p>Dean nodded, not feeling the disappointment that Raphael had expected. Dean hadn't expected anything more than the Fruit from the Tree of Life; all of this defeating Chuck business was hard enough to believe, let alone easily accomplish. A setback wasn't so much a setback as it was just another task they could achieve.</p><p>"Well, then we have a plan," Lucifer suggested. "Dean, you can help me figure out Michael's key, and Mia, you can help Raphael find the Seal of Solomon. You did a good job researching and finding this place practically on your own."</p><p>"Really, Amelia? You found me by yourself?" Raphael's voice was impressed, and Mia blushed a little before shaking her head stubbornly.</p><p>"Yes, but it took me three years to find this place. We can't do three more years of this! Or more, who knows how long it could take?" Mia almost looked panicked. "I don't… I can't…" her breathing was becoming quick and shallow.</p><p>Both Lucifer and Raphael reached for her, probably trying to heal her of whatever was causing her panic, but Dean grabbed her first and gently pulled her back from the archangels. "You know what, why don't you two catch up for a bit? I'm going to talk to Mia outside, okay?"</p><p>The brothers nodded and stepped back to their credit while Dean led Mia out the way they came. Rather than attempt to climb over that dangerous thin rock behind the waterfall, Dean sat down at the cave opening's cliff edge, the waterfall running a few feet in front of him, his legs dangling off the precipice. Mia followed suit; her breathing had returned to normal while they walked.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she started before Dean could ask her any questions. "But he just gave me hope that this could all be over!"</p><p>"Yeah, and that's still true."</p><p>"But it might take too long! What if it does take a year? Or years plural?"</p><p>Dean narrowed his eyes at her, not entirely understanding her urgency. "Then it takes time. We're talking about stripping God of his powers. He's God, Mia. It's… complicated. But it's important."</p><p>"So is getting you home!"</p><p>"We will get me home. Hell, it's even part of the plan, so there is no possible way my self-sacrificial martyrdom can break our promise!" He laughed out, trying to ease the girl's mind.</p><p>She gave him a weak smile in return, but it wasn't genuine. "I know. I guess, after what you said earlier…"</p><p>Dean was kicking himself for ever being honest. "Is this because I said I wasn't looking forward to telling Cas the truth?"</p><p>Mia looked down sheepishly, which was enough of an answer for the tired hunter.</p><p>"Mia, look at me." He paused and waited for her to do so. "I'm nervous. I'm nervous to tell a boy about my feelings. My life is a high school movie-"</p><p>"A high school movie where the protagonist gets kidnapped by God and has to fight monsters during an apocalypse."</p><p>"Okay, a kick-ass high school movie." He nudged her with his elbow, laughing, finally earning a genuine laugh from Mia. "But you need to understand that just because I'm scared to potentially ruin my relationship with Cas, telling him is still the best thing I could do for myself. All of my relationships with the people I love have been ruined by lying and keeping secrets. And if it came down to losing Cas forever because things are awkward or lying to him every day, I'd rather lose him because I would be doing him a disservice otherwise. So yeah, it might suck, and I might be scared, but it's still all I want to do. Because it's what I need to do."</p><p>Mia nodded along slowly. "I'm sorry, you're right. And this isn't about me. I guess I've just been so involved with your life for so long that sending you home so you can hug your brother and tell that angel you love him has become personal." She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I've found a way to make all of this about me."</p><p>Dean cuffed the back of her head. "It's your specialty, Mia." He stopped and gave her a serious stare. "Mia, it's called empathy. I'm part of your family, so you're a little too involved in my personal life. It's what family does. You're emotionally invested in my relationship with Cas, and it's funny and adorable. But you do have to take a step back and understand that he's still going to be there when I get home, whether I get home tonight or twenty years from now." He looked straight ahead wistfully, mindlessly running his fingers over the folded up photo in his pocket. "One thing I know about Cas is that it doesn't matter how long I'm gone, he won't stop waiting for me."</p><p>"I thought you wanted them to move on?"</p><p>"Of course I do. I still do, and I will kill them myself if I find out they've spent the last three years risking their lives trying to find me. But the truth is, Cas's definition of 'moving on' isn't the human one. He'll hunt with Sam and drink beers on the hood of the Impala, but only because it would make Sam happy." Dean stared into the waterfall in front of him, concentrating hard on keeping his eyes fixed on the rushing water. If not, he feared he would shut his eyes, and their faces would be the only thing he would see. "Maybe it should be comforting, but it makes me sad too. But unless he finds my body, I don't think Cas is going to stop waiting for me. Sure, hopefully, he will stop looking for me. But he won't stop waiting, and that's what kills me." He cursed himself under his breath. "I don't want him to be upset." The last words were barely above a whisper.</p><p>Mia didn't say a word for a while; she just rested her head on Dean's shoulder comfortingly.

After a couple minutes had passed, she finally responded. "I think that's the problem with angels."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"They don't age. They don't just die one day because it's been long enough like people do. I mean, what do you think Cas's plan was for when you and your brother got old?"</p><p>Dean paused thoughtfully. "He had mentioned it once; he said that he would use that as his chance to retire. Like, go back to heaven and live out his days away from human problems, spending his days in people's heavens." It was a strange thought that Cas would just wait until the last Winchester died as his cue to leave too, but it made sense to Dean after everything the three of them had been through.</p><p>Mia looked straight toward the waterfall, like Dean. "I don't think Lucifer will decide to live much longer after I go. No offense to you and Kevin, but I'm pretty sure you'll both die before me. And when I'm the last one standing, I'm not sure Lucifer will like the world he's left with. If he no longer has a duty to these people, I mean. He'll finally decide to take his leave, the leave that he deserves. But if his duty to the people never changes…"</p><p>Dean felt sick, finally realizing the conclusion that Mia was subtly trying to get him to draw. "If I don't make it home, Cas isn't going to rest. He's just going to wait." He looked over at Mia, who didn't look surprised at his comment at all. "Amelia Mills was that your reasoning this whole time?! Have you spent the last three years trying to get me home just because you knew that knowing Cas was waiting for me would kill me? That has too many layers. How the hell did you think that far into the future?"</p><p>She put her hands up defensively. "I didn't! Lucifer did."</p><p>"Explain."</p><p>"Lucifer knows you better than anyone else. He always had, even when he didn't know everything about your family. And he knows how angels work, better than anyone. I think he was considering your feelings, really. After all, you love Cas and he knows that, so he… sort of… you know."</p><p>Dean wanted to throw himself off this cliff. He felt… stupid. Was it possible he had been this stupid the entire time? He hadn't even known. Mia's deal hadn't even been her idea. It was fueled by Lucifer's suggestions. He might feel like he had been played if he could see any of his friends as having anything other than his best interests in mind. But no one was the enemy here; it was just Dean and his stupidity, and Lucifer and Mia's slightly accidental care for Cas' wellbeing.</p><p>Now he realized exactly how much he owed Lucifer for orchestrating all of this "deal" and "promises" shit. Maybe it was only because Lucifer knew that one day Dean would die and that he would leave behind the one person he loved so much to just sit and wait for him every day for the rest of eternity.</p><p>But why? Dean was sure that Cas would wait, but exactly why was that? Why would Cas wait for him? It couldn't be because he loved him; Dean knew that Cas didn't love him… right?</p><p>Dammit, no. It was just loyalty. That's all it was and all it would be. Cas wasn't "in love with him," which would be ridiculous because Dean hadn't done anything to deserve him to love him back, so it must just be loyalty.</p><p>Then again, how would loyalty explain it, considering that Dean hadn't done anything to deserve it? If Dean didn't deserve his love, then why the hell was that explained away by something smaller?</p><p>No. Dean had to stop thinking like that; he had to stop giving himself this empty hope and stop trying to believe things that couldn't be true. Cas was his friend, and that was all Cas wanted to be.</p><p>"I cannot believe the two of you," Dean said, shaking his head, but his voice wasn't attacking her.</p><p>She gave him a sheepish smile. "I guess you've figured out the rest then, huh?"</p><p>"Took me long enough, don't you think?" He lightly punched her shoulder. "Now come on, let's go back to those guys in there and figure this all out." He stood and offered his hand to help her up. "Even if it takes years… okay?"</p><p>She accepted his hand up with a smile. "What the hell, I'm only nineteen, right? It's you geezers that I worry about."</p><p>"You know I can push you over, right?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know it's a bit of a lighter ending considering the fact that these two chapters had been one big integral scene, but I didn't want to make it longer by tacking on the next long scene lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Break, Shatter, Make, Matter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean finally meets the angel Raphael was so scared of, and Jody has a moment of emotional honesty</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After some deliberation, Raphael agreed to come with them back to the base. It took some convincing; after all, the man had mostly been in isolation for centuries, and now he wasn't just meeting two new people. He would be meeting all one hundred and seventy-nine people at the base.</p><p>But Raphael agreed that it was for the best, and it was clear that the newly reunited brothers didn't want to spend the evening apart.</p><p>So they came back with another archangel up their sleeve, who Kevin greeted with fervor and Jody greeted with a glare. Dean was glad to know he wasn't the only one on Jody's never-ending bad side.</p><p>"You guys really think it's possible?" Kevin asked Dean as they sat together at dinner that night. "Taking God's power away?"</p><p>Dean nodded. "I do," he said with a light shrug. "I've done a lot of crazy stuff, Kev. This would definitely be at the top, but it's not the first."</p><p>Kevin huffed. "It's a first for me! All of this is crazy."</p><p>"Crazier than all of this?" Dean gestured to the cafeteria they were in.</p><p>Kevin narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "True, I never saw myself going back to high school." He then stood up and stretched, yawning loudly. "I think I'm going to go to bed."</p><p>"I'll see you up there in a while. I think I'm going to take a walk, clear my head."</p><p>"Okay, just don't do anything stupid."</p><p>"Stupider than walking into Raphael's cave when my only backup was Mia Mills? I think I've done all the stupid I can do today," Dean responded with a laugh, standing up and heading for the entrance.</p><p>Dean walked outside and stood for a moment, basking in the wave of heat that overtook him the second he left the building.</p><p>He used to hate the weather when he hunted. Sam would continuously grow tired of Dean complaining that the motel room was too hot all night or Dean shivering while they dug graves because he refused to admit that Sam had been right to tell him to bring a coat.</p><p>These days he only got to complain about the weather on his weekly camping trips, but it wasn't as fun as it used to be back home.</p><p>What he was really missing was cases in general. Sure, fighting the occasional werewolf got his blood pumping, but it wasn't like a case.</p><p>He missed all of it. He missed the long road trip to the small town they were investigating; he missed the greasy diners and dead day-drinking bars. He missed rolling his eyes while Sam acted like a girl being all sympathetic while talking to the witnesses. He missed the musty motel rooms that always smelled like bleach and dirty laundry. He missed the surprise twist they would learn about the monster during the climax of their fight. He missed their narrow escapes. He missed the girl who had been flirting with Sam the entire time, practically swooning as they left.</p><p>Here, it was straightforward. Shoot the werewolf. Behead the vampire. Shoot the shifter. Torch the wendigo. Leave the Leviathans to Luc. There was no buildup, no research, no new greasy diners and motels. It was just eat in the cafeteria, kill monsters, eat in the cafeteria, and sleep. Sure, he loved the people here, and he was proud of what he was doing, but it didn't feel like he was much of a hunter anymore.</p><p>Distracted by his thoughts, he was caught off guard with a rifle end pressed into his back. He froze and lifted his hands instinctively. "Hey, listen-"</p><p>"Are you following me?"</p><p>Unbelievable. Dean spun around and grabbed the end of the gun, smacking it to the ground. "Seriously, Jody? What the hell was that for?"</p><p>"You knocked my gun to the ground!" She defended, going to pick it up.</p><p>"Why the hell were you threatening me with that thing anyway?! And no, Jesus, I wasn't following you. I didn't even know you were out here."</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "Right, of course."</p><p>Dean's eyes widened in anger. "Seriously, Jody? Don't you think I have better things to do than stalk the one person at this base who hates me?"</p><p>Jody rolled her eyes again but didn't jump to defend her comment. "Mia told me what happened today."</p><p>Dean nodded stoically toward her, unable to read what the switch in her tone indicated. "Yes, so now we have a solid plan to get me out of your hair for good."</p><p>"Yes, but I think that the paralyzing God part is just a bit more important than your homesickness Winchester," she bit out.</p><p>Dean wanted to tear out his hair in frustration, but he was stopped from any retort as they heard an unfamiliar voice come from a few feet away, causing them both to spin in surprise.</p><p>"Yes, it's interesting, isn't it, the 'paralyzing God' part." A tall woman with black curly hair was standing beside them, having definitely not been there a minute ago.</p><p>Dean immediately knew what she was. An angel. He knew how they held themselves, how they dressed. And her gray business pantsuit was par for the course.</p><p>"Who are you?!" Jody's familiar distrust and spite rang through the woods.</p><p>She flashed them a small, courteous smile that made Dean's skin crawl. "You don't know me, but I've learned a lot about you. Dean Winchester, you're an interesting one, aren't you? My father did not expect you'd last this long here."</p><p>"Your father?" Jody sounded confused. Right, Dean reminded himself, she didn't know that this woman was an angel. That wasn't going to be a fun realization.</p><p>She didn't acknowledge Jody before, but she did then, almost as if Jody's presence was annoying her. "I believe I haven't had the… pleasure… of meeting you." Her words came out in a slow drawl. She turned back to Dean. "We haven't met either, but I have been watching you. Interesting stuff, hon."</p><p>He narrowed his eyes. "Interesting how?"</p><p>"Well, you paid a friend of mine a visit today."</p><p>Dean's blood boiled, but he was definitely getting closer to knowing who she was. "Raphael doesn't really like angels, so I'm not sure you two are friends." He took a threatening step toward her, vaguely aware of his lack of any way to kill an angel. "So which one are you? Peter, Paul, or Mary?"</p><p>She scowled at him. "My name is Ruth. It was given to me by my father."</p><p>Jody scoffed loudly. "You're not special."</p><p>Ruth fixed her gaze on the hotheaded woman. "My father happens to be the Lord. So I would say otherwise, Jody Mills." Jody looked surprised, both at the realization that this was an angel and that she knew her name. "I know more than just your name," she teased smugly. "I know about that little daughter of yours. Dreadfully cowardly, she just hid in that cabin when met with the smallest challenge."</p><p>"Listen here, you bitch-" Jody began to spit out, but Dean quickly smacked his arm in front of her torso, stopping her from both walking toward the angel and, thankfully, talking.</p><p>A memory struck Dean at her strange phrasing. Three years ago, the night he made his deal with Mia, she said she had seen a demon. A "professional woman" with blue eyes. An angel. An angel that Dean had promptly forgotten about because it never came up again. An angel he had been incredibly concerned about at the time that never did anything.</p><p>"What are you here for?" Dean settled on the stern, general question rather than the many, many others he had at the moment.</p><p>Ruth crossed her arms. "I'm not stupid. I know you and your little friends have a plan to strip my father of his divine majesty. But it won't work, I'll be sure of it. And I will make sure that he knows about it."</p><p>Dean smiled, almost evilly, and Ruth's intimidating demeanor faltered a bit. "You'll make sure he knows? Your omniscient God doesn't know everything?"</p><p>"Well, he's very busy-"</p><p>"Stow the workaholic-dad crap," Dean replied, rolling his eyes. "Chuck spent years barely paying attention to just one world. But I know that that's not even what this is about."</p><p>"If you think-"</p><p>"I think, Ruth, that Chuck doesn't know anything because he's not here. Daddy's not home, is he Ruthie?" Dean taunted, feeling himself sink back into his old skin, the ruthless shoot-first hunter he so missed being. The sarcastic, asshole Dean Winchester that he rarely ever let out anymore, save for whenever it was Mia's turn to cook something or when Luc would wake him up in the middle of the night to show him a quote, "really cool cloud."</p><p>She hissed, waving a finger in Dean's face. "You shut your mouth, Dean Winchester, or I will kill you. And I believe you know I don't need weapons to do so."</p><p>Dean decided to roll the dice. "I don't think you will?"</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"Excuse me?!" Jody chimed in, staring at Dean like he had lost his mind. Which he might have, he wasn't really sure.</p><p>Dean tried to give her a comforting look, but even he knew it came across as just more sarcasm to piss Jody off for later. "I think if you could smite me, you would. Hell, you would have done so without saying a word; maybe you would have done it three years ago when you were stalking Mia and me at the cabin." Ruth had the decency to at least look surprised, even though she was the one who brought it up earlier anyway. "That's right, I know you've been watching me before. So go ahead, Ruthie, smite me." He stretched his arms out to his side and shut his eyes, looking up to the sky. "Send me to hell! Because Chuck knows I'm not getting into heaven with you winged rats."</p><p>Ruth's hands were fists, and her eyes flashed blue, the shadows of her wings stretching across the trees behind them. Dean ignored Jody's small gasp of amazement and wondered, briefly, if Luc had ever shown her, or anybody besides Dean really, his wings.</p><p>But as quickly as she started, the light in her eyes died, and the shadows disappeared. "Let's get one thing straight, Dean Winchester, you will never make it home."</p><p>"Oh? Why is that?" He asked with a smirk, honestly just happy he had guessed correctly and hadn't just been killed.</p><p>"My father wants you to die here, and he wants the people you have back home to suffer for it, but we can't intervene. But I promise you this, the moment you step foot back in your world, you're free game. You're everyone's public enemy number one." She leaned in forward, menacingly. "It's not just you and your friends against me, hon. Half of the angels here and back home have already been recruited by our father. See, he's been making some promises. And it's not just us you have to worry about. How do you think Hell's doing back where you come from?" This time it was her time to be returned her ugly smug smirk. "What, you thought this was going to be easy? You thought just because you've got the power of friendship and two traitorous, previously isolated old archangels would get you out of this? My father doesn't need to know what you're currently planning to have taken cautionary measures. So be warned, Dean Winchester, give up now. Because if you don't, it won't just be me who's out to get you once you do get home." She turned to face Jody. "And Dean won't be the only one caught in the crossfire."</p><p>Suddenly, she was gone again. Dean let out the biggest breath in the world, keeling over and grabbing his knees with his hands to keep from collapsing on the forest floor.</p><p>"What the hell was that?!" Jody's commanding and judgmental voice came from his side, stabbing into his brain.</p><p>"You could always say thank you, you know!" Dean shouted back just as angrily, but his voice was higher and shakier, having only survived that encounter that he honestly wasn't sure he should've survived. Jody seemed to notice that and backed off a little bit.</p><p>Just a little.</p><p>"Winchester, what was that about with the whole 'angel stalking my daughter' thing?" Jody asked sternly as the two reluctantly trudged side by side back toward the school.</p><p>Dean hung his head, mostly tired. Now he had to deal with angels? Seriously? The only angel he wanted to see right now was Lucifer; how pathetic was that? How messed up had his life become in this new world? And apparently, even if he did get home, he'd have the one angel he wanted to see more than anything in the world waiting, but also plenty of angels and DEMONS that had it out for him.</p><p>Who exactly was on his side? Three angels, Lucifer, Raphael, and Castiel, and then a ragtag survivor army plus Sam? And he didn't even know how many angels were a part of Ruth's little Chuck loyalist team, not even counting the ones back home, and god knows how many demons from home Chuck likely bribed. Raphael would only know the angels here, in this world. He wouldn't have any knowledge of what would wait for them when they went to Dean's to get Gabriel's key and build a new Ma'lak Jewelry Box or whatever the hell.</p><p>He was screwed.</p><p>"You remember that time Mia snuck out, three years ago?"</p><p>"Mia snuck out a lot three years ago. And four and five, so you're going to have to be more specific than that, Winchester."</p><p>"It was the last time she snuck out before her 'early retirement' at age sixteen."</p><p>Jody nodded slowly. "I do remember that. Sean and I were lost in the wheat fields for hours only to learn that Kevin knew where she was the whole damn time."</p><p>"Right. Well, when I found her, she had barricaded herself in the cabin, and there were monsters everywhere. I dealt with them and went inside, but she told me about someone I didn't see. Said she saw some fancy-dressed chick and assumed she was a demon because her eyes changed color. But they turned-"</p><p>"Blue," Jody interrupted, with realization in her eyes. "But why the hell was that bitch watching my daughter?"</p><p>"I think she was probably watching me, and in turn, watching Mia. I wouldn't be surprised if she watched everyone in the base. She'd never actually get in, thank god for Luc," Dean quickly added, wanting to quell the alarm that came from the woman next to him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I don't look forward to telling them about this."</p><p>Jody blocked his path, stopping right in front of him and holding out her arm. "Slow down, Winchester."</p><p>Dean cocked his head. "You… don't want to tell people about the angels? Why the hell not?"</p><p>She crossed her arms, avoiding his eyes. "I'm not worrying them. I can't."</p><p>Dean's angry, defensive demeanor dropped in an instant. He saw something he had never seen before.</p><p>Jody Mills was scared.</p><p>It should have been obvious; after all, Dean was well versed in recognizing people who had witnessed the supernatural. Her hands were shaking, her legs were shaking when they weren't in motion, she was shifting her weight back and forth between her feet, and she was breathing with her mouth, loud and long but shaky breaths.</p><p>"Jody, are you…?"</p><p>"I'm fine!" She snapped back defensively. "I'm just worried about Mia and Sean. I mean, just knowing this kind of thing…" she trailed off, her mouth opening and closing silently, desperately searching for words. But she couldn't find them.</p><p>Dean bit the inside of his cheek, patiently waiting for Jody's fit to end. As it seemingly did so, her entire body deflating, he finally spoke up. "I know it isn't worth much, but I'm sorry you were here for that."</p><p>For once, she looked into his eyes honestly, not hiding behind her stony exterior. "I don't understand how you live with this kind of thing. I act like nothing's wrong because I want to be the brave, strong woman I know I can be, but the last few years, living in this communal base, sleeping on the cold floor of an old high school, I just can't pretend all the time." She let out a breath, sad, and fearful. "I'm scared. I haven't stopped being scared; I haven't grown comfortable here. I miss my house, miss my dog, miss my friends and neighbors, and my life. I miss not spending every day terrified that my family will be eaten by some crazy monster that shouldn't even be real. I mean, vampires? Werewolves?" She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "That's not right! It's fake, it's fiction."</p><p>"But Jody, you know it's not."</p><p>"Yes, but it should be!" She ran her hand over her face. "I taught my daughter to be scared of the real things. Of people. Because people were supposed to be the real, honest, horrible, unavoidable thing in life. Apparently, I was supposed to be warning her about monsters? And demons? And dammit, even angels?"</p><p>The hunter eyed the sheriff closely. "Trust me, people are still some of the worst monsters I've ever had to deal with. And I've dealt with everything."</p><p>"How? How do you do what we're supposed to do now? How do you tell people the truth, tell them things that will scare them, that will make them feel unsafe?"</p><p>Dean chewed his lip thoughtfully. "I think it's easy for me because I never feel safe. I never have; my father made sure of that. So when I have to tell people bad news, specifically of the supernatural variety, it's just telling them there are more things to be afraid of."</p><p>He thought back to three years ago, to the last few days he had with Sam and Cas. He remembered how he felt happy, but something held him back from feeling at peace, from feeling content. It was fear of Chuck, the knowledge that he wasn't truly safe. He now recognized that that was how Jody felt every day. Maybe it was how everyone at the base felt every day. He felt it too, of course, but he always assumed it was just because he was worried about never getting home. About Max Banes and whatever happened to him, about what would happen to his world the moment that the one he was currently in finally gave up, and how he would never find out what happened because, for this world to truly die, he'd have to die with it.</p><p>Dean took a deep breath before continuing. "I know you don't like me, Jody, and I'm never going to ask you to. I know what my presence means for you, for your daughter, but listen to me for a second as though you don't hate me. Everything sucks. Everything in the entire world is shit; it just is. And you can't do anything about it, I can't do anything about it, and it's only going to get shittier. But there's a way to stop all of this shit from escalating. A way to finally rid this world of the one being in charge of how long it lasts. But that doesn't change how helpless you feel, how helpless you have felt, and how helpless you will continue to feel. Because even if we take God's powers, you're still left with this," he gestured around them. "This… this shithole of a planet, in this state that it's in. But all you have to do, all you owe your family, all you owe your universe, is to wake up every morning."</p><p>She rolled her eyes at him. "What kind of bullshit is that, Winchester?"</p><p>"The true kind. All you have to do is wake up another morning. Because Chuck can't truly have ended the world if there's still anybody left kicking. And I know you, Jody Mills. You don't stop kicking. As long as you keep kicking, you keep waking up in the morning, Chuck will lose."</p><p>For once, Jody didn't have a retort or a joke or a condescending correction to hurl at him. He had a point, and even she couldn't dismiss that out of hand.</p><p>No matter how she felt about Dean Winchester, he knew more about this than she did. He knew how it felt to protect people and be scared that you won't be able to.</p><p>They walked back the rest of the way in silence, but Dean took it as a win, considering the lack of a lecture.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're getting close! Only one more important event to write about before Dean gets to go home and that happens really soon...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Leeward Side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As we enter year four, the team finally has something to celebrate, but the night goes horribly wrong...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer and Raphael spent the next year on alert. The search for both Michael's key (whatever that would end up being) and the Seal of Solomon was going dreadfully slow.</p><p>It wasn't their fault; they simply had to be more diligent in protecting their base from Ruth and her angels.</p><p>Throughout the year following Dean and Jody's rendezvous with Ruth, they had seen more angels pop up nearby. They suspended their weekly camping trips, and no one was allowed to go on a walk outside unless they were accompanied by Lucifer or Raphael, who helpfully stayed with them.</p><p>Though the base was more on lockdown in that fourth year than it had been for the first three, they did manage to make some progress. Lucifer could not seek out angels that may have been loyal to Michael for fear of drawing attention from Ruth. Still, he did manage to find a few tablets written by Michael, which Kevin attempted to read, but having not practiced his prophet abilities for years, it took a while to translate.</p><p>Raphael had similarly slow progress with Mia. Mia spent the year regretting ever introducing herself by her full name because Raphael refused to call her "Mia," only "Amelia." But Dean was pretty sure she secretly liked it.</p><p>The two had managed one faulty lead and a slightly more promising one by the time Mia's twentieth birthday rolled around, and Sean had an idea to take her out for a while.</p><p>Raphael specifically had grown attached to Mia in the last year and disapproved of the plan for a father-daughter fishing trip, but it was something Mia desperately needed. She needed space and some time away from research. Because whether it was Samuel Campbell's journals or the millions of crazy Seal of Solomon leads, Mia had honestly spent four years of her life cooped up inside that high school building reading and researching.</p><p>She promised if anything went wrong that she would pray to Raphael or Lucifer, and they decided to fly her and her father out to a boat in one of the Great Lakes; that way, they wouldn't have to deal with monsters. Lucifer found a particularly large and fancy boat for the two of them and piloted it out to the middle of the lake so that they wouldn't even have to risk monsters between the land and the boat.</p><p>But exactly the afternoon after Sean and Mia left for their trip, Lucifer had an epiphany.</p><p>Kevin had taken the year to translate Michael's tablets, and on one of them, Michael professed that his lack of knowledge about what his brother Lucifer had indeed done was "like a prison no earth could form."</p><p>"I don't understand; how is that helpful?" Kevin questioned doubtfully.</p><p>"You don't understand!" Lucifer replied excitedly. "I was his prison; he says it right there while literally using the word 'prison.' If him discovering the truth about me broke him out of his metaphorical prison, then that has to be his key!"</p><p>Raphael tapped the table thoughtfully. "It makes sense. But what physical object represents that?"</p><p>"This!" Lucifer pulled out a necklace from his pocket, made with brown string and three blue beads. Dean hadn't seen that necklace since he first befriended Lucifer four years ago.</p><p>He remembered that day, a Leviathan had ripped him apart, and Lucifer came to his aid, and the two talked about their lives for the first time. Lucifer had shown him that simple necklace when talking about his brother.</p><p>"I remember!" Dean exclaimed. "Luc even referred to it, saying that Michael gave it to him as a gift for 'breaking him from his prison of torment' or something!" Dean pointed out, reminding Lucifer of his own words.</p><p>Raphael and Kevin shared an exciting look. "That's amazing. That's… amazing!" Kevin jumped up from the table. "We can't just do nothing. Do you know what this means?!"</p><p>The archangels and Dean stood up after him, but they didn't know what he was talking about. "What does it mean, Kevin?" Lucifer asked.</p><p>Kevin's smile reaches his cheekbones. "We need to celebrate."</p><p>-</p><p>This was not the first time Kevin asked to throw a party. Dean wasn't surprised, the man was like, thirty, and he still behaved like a college student.</p><p>It didn't help that the almost two hundred men, women, and children in the base desperately wanted a party, and fueled Kevin's party-planning ego.</p><p>So Dean and Lucifer walked into the cafeteria, now filled with people eating, drinking, talking, and dancing, with music playing over the loudspeaker. Sometimes it really sucked that they were in a school.</p><p>"Wow. I mean, I know I fetched half of this stuff, but this may be his best one yet," Lucifer admired.</p><p>Dean laughed. "Yeah, it's a real blast. Come on, I'm getting a drink and cutting the cord on the karaoke machine. Come with?"</p><p>"God yes, if I have to sit through Kevin and Jesse doing one more performance of Man in the Mirror, I think I will promptly vomit," Lucifer nodded wildly.</p><p>As Dean stood lookout in front of the karaoke machine that Lucifer was pouring vodka onto, he spotted Kevin with a film camera across the room, zooming into Jody Mills' face, who was speaking into the lens.</p><p>"Hey Luc, what do you think that's about?" He kicked the archangel's knee with his boot.</p><p>"What are you talking about?" He stood back up and leaned against the wall with Dean. "Oh, he's probably making a birthday video for Mia. He mentioned it earlier; he made sure I stole him a fancy camera and everything." Lucifer paused. "Not that I really find what I do… stealing… anymore."</p><p>"Why's that?" Dean asked, taking a sip of whatever alcoholic poison mix was poured into his red solo cup. It tasted like what he assumed college was like.</p><p>"The stores are always empty! Ravaged, practically. This whole ordeal has been going on for years now; there's not exactly a running economy anywhere anymore." Lucifer messed with the rim of his own cup idly. "I'm not sure how many people are still alive."</p><p>"Jesus…" Dean muttered into his cup, drinking even more of the… fruity gasoline? What the fuck were people drinking in college these days?</p><p>Lucifer perked up and slapped Dean's back. "Come on, it's a party! Let's just enjoy ourselves for one night. Look at Raph! Even he's having fun… I think."</p><p>Raphael was on the dance floor being passed between a bunch of single women dancing with him. Dean snorted, almost choking on his drink.</p><p>"Yeah, he's quite the ladies' man."</p><p>"For a guy that stiff, he certainly attracts a lot of women," Lucifer noted.</p><p>"Luc, watch out, it's Scorsese!" Dean joked as Kevin came up to them with his camera.</p><p>"Say something to Mia for her twentieth birthday!" Kevin demanded from behind the camera.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "Happy birthday Mia. Be glad you aren't here right now. There might be a problem with karaoke tonight." He saw Lucifer muffling a laugh out the corner of his eye.</p><p>"Dammit, Dean, did you sabotage the karaoke machine?!" Kevin exclaimed.</p><p>Dean put his hands up innocently. "You have no proof!"</p><p>Lucifer swung his arm around Dean's shoulders and pulled him into a side hug. "Happy birthday Mia!" He exclaimed cheerfully into the camera lens. "Just remember you are less than half this grandpa's age!"</p><p>Dean burst out laughing, throwing his arm around Lucifer's shoulders as well. "Yeah, hey Luc, pal, remind me, how old are you?"</p><p>"Come back with a warrant!"</p><p>"Oh my god, I hate you guys," Kevin said from behind the camera, but he couldn't hide the fondness in his voice.</p><p>"Yeah, sure you do," Lucifer sarcastically chided.</p><p>Dean looked up and behind Kevin, beckoning a certain nervous-looking archangel over. "Hey, Raph! Come here and say something about Mia's birthday!"</p><p>Raphael gratefully smiled and flew over, appearing in frame next to Dean in a split second.</p><p>Dean put a hand over his heart. "Jesus Christ, man, you were only a few feet away! Use your legs!'</p><p>Raphael ignored him, instead smiling gently into the camera. "Happy birthday, Amelia. I hope you are having a lovely time with your father."</p><p>"Even in a party, my brother manages to be this mellow," Lucifer pointed out, but he was beaming. It was no surprise to Dean that Lucifer was just happy to spend any time with his estranged brother. They were joined at the hip this last year, and it made Dean glad to see them together.</p><p>Maybe a little jealous, but mainly happy.</p><p>"My turn!" Kevin said, and he awkwardly spun the camera to face himself at a high angle.</p><p>Dean didn't listen to Kevin's probably cute birthday message. He and Lucifer instead decided to be children. They walked in and out of frame behind Kevin, occasionally giving him bunny ears. He knew they would be murdered when Kevin cut it together later.</p><p>The rest of the night was excellent. Dean laughed and danced and even got a little drunk for once in a long time. Kevin and Jesse still sang Man in the Mirror, except it was acapella to prove a point, which was so much worse. Hanna and Delia, the team leaders Dean so often worked with alongside Kevin and Jesse, got very, very drunk and tossed Raphael back and forth while they were dancing, which was great entertainment for the rest of them.</p><p>Eventually, people fell asleep against the cafeteria tables, so Dean and Lucifer started idly cleaning up quietly to avoid waking anyone up.</p><p>But the night was not over there.</p><p>Dean wasn't sure how it all started, but he did remember a scream from a young boy before he noticed anything else.</p><p>The lights went out in one moment, and the entire room began erupting into screams.</p><p>"What the hell is going on?!" Dean shouted amidst the chaos. He felt Lucifer grip his upper arm tight enough to leave a bruise, but he understood and didn't make a move to get away.</p><p>"Dean, stay close to me!" Lucifer demanded, as more people were screaming.</p><p>The shouts were unintelligible; no one was yelling out anything useful. They were just yelling.<br/>In an instant, Dean felt a rough hand on his wrist that yanked him forcefully away from Lucifer's grip.</p><p>He heard Luc scream his name, but he was thrown into the hard floor, hitting his head with a sickening crack.</p><p>The world around him felt dizzy, and he blinked up to the high ceiling above him. He watched as a fuzzy but familiar figure looked down at him, black curly hair being pulled down by gravity as she leered over him.</p><p>A brown leather women's oxford shoe was raised above his face and came down hard.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it's so short, but it was the only good cutoff point from this chunk nd I almost forgot to post the chapter tonight lol :)))</p><p>ALSO this chapter is very important because it contains dialogue that will be directly referenced again later!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Horse's Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean has an interesting dream, and he wakes to see the wreckage caused by Ruth and her angels</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean woke up with his head leaning on the Impala's back seat window, feeling the familiar bumps of the road. The sky was dark, and he could see shady trees passing them from a distance slowly.</p><p>He absently stroked the leather seat next to him with his left hand—God, how he missed his Baby.</p><p>Wait a damn minute, why the hell was he in his Baby?!</p><p>Dean's head jerked up, looking around wildly, only to see what he had hoped. The backs of Cas and Sam's heads. Sam was driving, and they were both facing directly out the windshield. Dean couldn't see their faces. He tried to sit up more and look in their eyes, but his seatbelt seemed to be more restrictive than it should be, and he could only see their hair and ears.</p><p>"Sam! Cas!" He said their names with hope, waiting for them to turn around. They didn't. They were still facing forward, and Dean's desperate voice didn't even make them flinch. He desperately wanted them to turn around and look at him.</p><p>He reached his arms out, attempting to grab Cas's familiar trenchcoated shoulder, but somehow it felt as though they were further away from him than they should be in his Baby. He couldn't reach them, and he couldn't see their faces.</p><p>"Please! Say something! Look at me! Please…" Dean could feel his eyes brimming with tears. He hadn't seen them for four damn years, and he needed to see them again. He needed to. "Why can't I see you?!"</p><p>"You don't remember what we look like. You forgot us." Sam's voice finally spoke up, but he still couldn't even see his mouth to see it move.</p><p>"No. That's not true!" Dean protested, his voice reaching new levels of upset. "I carry that photo with me and look at it every day. Every damn day! I haven't ever forgotten you!"</p><p>Suddenly, both Cas and Sam were turned in their seats and staring at him, the car still driving steadily though Sam's hands were off the wheel. Dean thought he might cry, seeing their faces again. They looked just like he remembered them, and he cursed the seatbelt keeping him back and away from them.</p><p>"Who are you?" Cas asked, his face emotionless.</p><p>"What?" Dean was caught off guard. "What do you mean? Cas, it's me. It's Dean." His voice was gentle, but it was breaking. He didn't think he was actually holding his tears back any longer, as he felt a warm drop on the back of his hand. "You know who I am, don't you?"</p><p>Neither said a word; they just stared at him, unblinking. Dean's eyes were fixed on Cas, searching for something, anything, that reminded him of the man he was. It was like a ghost had overtaken them both, and Dean felt his heart break in a bunch of different pieces.</p><p>"Sorry, we forgot." Cas's voice was empty and dry.</p><p>"Forgot what? Me?" This time Dean could hear the unmistakable sob in his voice.</p><p>"We moved on. I'm not sure who you are. Dean is dead. I've never seen you before." Sam's voice was identically apathetic.</p><p>"Sammy, I'm Dean. I'm not dead; I am Dean. I'm your brother."</p><p>Sam cocked his head slightly, but his face didn't change at all. "My brother died four years ago. I don't recognize you."</p><p>"Sammy, please," Dean pleaded uselessly.</p><p>"We're happy. I don't know you, but we're happy." This time Sam and Cas smiled, though it was devoid of substance.</p><p>"Cas… you can't forget me, you wouldn't forget me… right?" Dean tried reaching for him and surprised himself as his hand actually met Cas's cheek. He wasn't expecting to be able to reach him, but he gratefully accepted the change, cupping Cas's face in his hand. "Cas, you have to remember me. Please. I… I need you."</p><p>Though Dean was cupping his face gently, he still wasn't reacting at all. He was like a robot, with no feelings in his face and nothing "Cas" about him. "Dean, Sam and I are happy now. We moved on. That's what you wanted, right?"</p><p>Dean used his thumb to stroke Cas's cheek slowly. He looked at Sam as he did so, and he still had that empty smile on his face. "Yes. This is what I wanted."</p><p>Sam disappeared right before his eyes, and he knew Cas did the same as his hand felt empty again. "This is what I wanted," Dean repeated hollowly.</p><p>Suddenly, though he was sitting in the same position, he was no longer in the Impala; instead, he was sitting on the edge of the bed in Lucifer's cabin.</p><p>He hadn't really been in the cabin a lot since he first arrived four years ago, but it was that specific place that he thought of when he thought of his situation, living here in this other world. The cabin symbolized all of his grief and pain and homesickness. "This is what I wanted," he whispered out again.</p><p>Sam and Cas had no idea who he was, and Dean was here in this cabin with a broken leg. They were happy. As long as they were happy. They just needed to be happy.</p><p>-</p><p>"Dean! Dean, wake up! Dean! Dammit, don't do this to me. Dean, please! Wake up, goddammit it!"</p><p>Dean wasn't in the cabin anymore; he was lying on the cold cafeteria floor. He blinked his eyes open and saw a familiar face looming over him, looking terrified.</p><p>"Hey Luc," he mumbled distantly.</p><p>"Oh, thank god," Lucifer breathed out in relief. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, trying to sit up. Lucifer's hand was quickly against his back, helping him into an upward position. "What…" he trailed off as he looked around.</p><p>He was surrounded by bodies. There was blood smeared across the floor, tables, and chairs. There were faces with their eyes open, staring, unblinking, dead. Familiar faces. Faces he'd lived with for four years, faces he'd fought alongside, eaten with, got drunk with.</p><p>People were sobbing over the bodies, some looking untouched and others looking severely injured. Kids and adults alike were crying and comforting each other over the dead that lay scattered on the ground or draped over the chairs and tables.</p><p>Dean scrambled to his feet, Lucifer's hand supporting him all the way up. "No…" was all he could manage to say.</p><p>Dammit, there was a child. A child, lying in a ball on top of a table. Dead.</p><p>"What the hell happened?" Dean turned to Lucifer, finally focusing on his face. He looked tired and sad.</p><p>"Angels. They came in and killed so many people. Raphael and I managed to kill most of them, but some got away."</p><p>Dean recalled his last moments of consciousness. "Did Ruth get away?"</p><p>"I'm sorry…" was all Lucifer could manage in response.</p><p>"It's alright, Luc, this wasn't your fault, it's…" but Dean couldn't finish his sentence as he spotted a body across the room.</p><p>Jody.</p><p>He immediately abandoned Lucifer to sprint over to Jody's crumpled form. He fell to his knees, turning her body to face him, only to see her eyes burned out, and it hurt him just like all those years ago when he saw what Gadreel had done to Kevin Tran.</p><p>Part of him, the more childish part that remembered his own Jody hugging him and calling him and Sam "her boys," wanted to shake her and scream her name. But the Dean who recognized that this was the Jody Mills that didn't like him all that much, who only referred to him as "Winchester," kept him grounded in reality.</p><p>Dean punched the floor beside him, ignoring the pain splitting through his knuckles.</p><p>Aware of Lucifer's presence behind him, used to that subtle noise that preceded it after all these years with him, he sighed. "Why is she the only one they decided to smite? Everyone else still had their damn eyes."</p><p>"Ruth killed her herself. I didn't get there in time."</p><p>"Shit," Dean's voice was hardly a whisper. "It's because of what happened last year in the woods. Jody was with me when I met Ruth. Goddammit!" He shouted, not caring how loud he was becoming because he doubted anyone would care at the moment.</p><p>He felt Luc's hands on his shoulders, and he placed his hand over one of them absently, showing that he appreciated his friend's presence and attempt at comfort.</p><p>"After Raphael finishes the last few that need healing, he's going to go to find Sean and Mia's boat."</p><p>Dean forgot that Jody had a family alive and well on a boat, unaware that any of this had happened.</p><p>"Oh god, Mia…" Dean stood up, finally taking his eyes off of Jody's still form. "I should go with him; she should have a friend there."</p><p>"No, it's alright," Lucifer put his hands back on Dean's shoulders, now that they were facing one another. He was able to read Dean's facial expressions well enough to know that being there when Sean and Mia found out about Jody was the last thing in the world the hunter wanted to do. "Kevin's going with him. You're alright."</p><p>Dean nodded, blinking out the tears in his eyes. "So what was this, some overkill warning? Ruth and her angels trying to get us to back off of our plan?"</p><p>Lucifer shrugged sadly. "Maybe. My best guess is that she somehow found out that we figured out Michael's key, considering she attacked us the same damn day."</p><p>"I don't understand," Dean said desperately. "I understand that she might not be able to overpower you or Raphael or even have a method to kill you guys, but why didn't she kill me? She had me dead to rights."</p><p>"I think she thought she did kill you," Lucifer confessed. "You almost didn't make it; if I had been one second later, you would have been hellhound chow."</p><p>Dean's eyes widened, but he didn't respond.</p><p>Instead, he and Lucifer reunited with Kevin and Raphael and had everyone gather together.

Dean suggested that they give everyone who died a hunter's funeral and had everyone who could spare the time start collecting wood to build a pyre.</p><p>Out of the one hundred and seventy-nine people living at their base, eighty-five were dead. It was the single largest pyre gathering he had ever seen once it was finished, and it took all night.</p><p>No one spoke to each other as they worked; they all just silently piled the wood and wrapped the bodies and carried them out. Dean saw Mia and Sean at one point, having come back from their trip, obviously, but he didn't dare a word.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In advance for the comments, I'M SORRY! This chapter was lowkey kind of sad in both plot points, but we'll get some cute Lucifer and Dean friendship moments next chapter don't worry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Fake the Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sorry it's a short one! But Lucifer and Dean have a rooftop chat during the funeral that's very telling</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean sat on the roof, staring down at the giant fire that was devouring the bodies of those they lost. He couldn't bear to be down there and have to look into Mia or Sean's eyes or the parents who lost their children or the children who lost their parents.</p><p>"Mind the company?" Lucifer's voice chimed in from behind him. Dean nodded, actually grateful for his presence, not wanting to be alone.</p><p>The two sat up there silently, eyes fixed on the fires below, not speaking for about an hour.</p><p>"Dean, I'm sorry I couldn't-"</p><p>"Don't you dare," Dean shot his friend with a deadly glare. "None of this was your fault. It wasn't mine, or anybody's, except Ruth. And Chuck, of course."</p><p>"Yeah, he's definitely not the dad of the year."</p><p>Dean responded with a dry laugh. "That's quite the understatement."</p><p>After another long moment of silence, Lucifer spoke up. "I'm delighted you didn't die, by the way."</p><p>"So am I."</p><p>"I'm serious!" Lucifer nudged him hard with his shoulder. "I really thought you were gone for a minute there. And I don't know what I would do without you. Honestly." He let out a long sigh. "I don't know how Sam and Cas have made it the last four years, and I don't want to know. Losing you is awful."</p><p>Dean snorted but didn't argue, knowing that his standard self-deprecating bullshit would be more harmful after the evening they'd had. And it would be selfish, considering everyone who had died.</p><p>"You know, Luc, I had a dream about them when I was dying."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"I was back in my car, and I got to see them again; I even got to touch Cas's cheek, but they talked about how they didn't know who I was. They kept saying that Dean was dead, and I was unrecognizable. They said they were happy now that they didn't know who I was. And I found myself in your cabin, with a broken leg, just like where I was when I first got here." He paused for a long while, watching the first hints of the sunrise. "That's supposed to be what I wanted, right?"</p><p>Lucifer let out a long breath. "You love them more than anything, so you want them to forget you and be happy. But you only want that if you never see them again. You're just starting to hope that you'll actually get a chance to see them again, and now you realize that you might not like the consequences of what it was you wanted from them."</p><p>"In English, please?"</p><p>"If they do what you always wanted, which was putting you behind them and moving on and being happy, then you would feel bad showing up again and having them barely recognize you." Lucifer turned slightly to stare at him. "Because you have changed, Dean. I know you have because that crazy, feverish, broken-legged stranger I met would never have the compassion or patience or empathy you have now. Maybe that's why your dream ended with you back in the cabin, with your broken leg."</p><p>"I don't understand; how does the cabin have anything to do with me being worried they won't know me?"</p><p>"Because obviously, they will recognize you and your face, there's no way that they would just forget what you look like, and you know that. Your fear is that they won't recognize you because the Dean they knew, the one that they claimed 'died' in your dream, I think you left him behind in that cabin."</p><p>"Huh," Dean said, eyebrows raised as he refixed his gaze on the sunrise on the horizon. "I guess I didn't think about that, but I think you're right. If they don't recognize me, it would only be because my personality is different. This place, you guys, you've all changed me, and I think I might just be scared that the Dean Winchester my family knows and loves and wants to be returned to them is one they'll never see again, one who I left behind in the cabin four years ago."</p><p>After that, the two just sat there side by side until the sun was halfway above the treeline.</p><p>"Dean?"</p><p>"Yeah, Luc?"</p><p>"There might be a way to… avoid your dream."</p><p>"Okay… and that means?"</p><p>The archangel took a deep breath. "When we finally find the Seal of Solomon and can get you home, there is a way that I could make the rift not only travel through different universes but also… different times."</p><p>Dean spun and gave him a confused and skeptical look. "What are you trying to say, Luc?"</p><p>Lucifer scratched at the back of his neck nervously. "I might be able to take you back to your world… right after you left it."</p><p>Dean shot to his feet, Lucifer scrambling to follow him. "You can't be serious. Don't just throw shit like that out there, Luc. You're crossing a line here."</p><p>"I'm serious!" Lucifer defended, trying to calm his best friend down. "It's not even a difficulty for me to do, and there is no risk. I just never really considered it, but I can do it. I can take you back to pretty close after you left."</p><p>Dean blinked at him, speechless.</p><p>"I know what you're thinking, but consider it," Lucifer negotiated. "Look, I can't imagine how Sam and Cas have made it through the last four years without you. It would be torture, no doubt. So, there's a way to keep them out of that. It might just be harder for you that way. Because you would have a difficult time getting them to comprehend what you went through if they even believe you at all."</p><p>Dean paced the roof, now deep in thought. Could he do that? It would spare Sam and Cas the last four years, but would they want that? This is probably especially true if they wasted the last four years doing what Dean did not want them to do, which would be if they spent the last four years trying to find Dean and not moving on like he wanted them to do.</p><p>How would he begin to explain what happened to him, though? He doubted that they would think he was lying, especially considering at least Lucifer was definitely coming with him to find Gabriel's key, so he would have him as some messed up proof. But if they hadn't experienced the time apart on their end, would they ever really be able to comprehend what Dean went through?</p><p>Then again, did they need to? Did it really matter if they were able to fully understand it or not? They didn't have to share his burden.</p><p>"If we did that, IF, how close and accurate would your little time travel thing be?"</p><p>Lucifer paused thoughtfully for a moment. "I would say to be safe and not miscalculate and send you before you left, making two of you which would be a disaster, twenty-four hours. I could definitely make one day happen, no problem."</p><p>One day.</p><p>Dean would have been away from them for years, and they would have only missed him for a day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this one is short! I'm posting faster than I'm writing, so I'm catching up to myself lol, so I cut this one down but don't worry, you MIGHT get to see Dean go home soon... next chapter soon...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Beginning and the End of Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's been six years and it's finally time for Dean to go home</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Living at the base was never the same after that massacre. Lucifer and Raphael totaled that about thirty angels had been there at the attack, and they managed to have killed twenty-two.

Ruth may have devastated their home, but they definitely cleaned house on Chuck loyalists.</p><p>For the two years that followed, things were different. Some of the survivors had left, promising to pray if they needed help, but none ever did, and Dean was pretty sure that if they ran into Purgatory monsters that they couldn't defeat, they would just fight until they couldn't any longer. They had spent years relying on an archangel or a hunter to take care of their problems, and he doubted they would ever do that again.</p><p>There were probably a solid thirty-five people left at the base. The halls were quieter, the bathrooms were less busy, the cafeteria was perpetually emptier.</p><p>Dean didn't stick around much. He, Lucifer, Raphael, and Kevin frequently left on week-long journeys in search of the Seal of Solomon so that they could get to Dean's world, build the new Ma'lak box, and find Gabriel's key.</p><p>They had a lot of time to plan. Dean figured it would be easiest to go to hell and ask Rowena to help them find the key to Gabriel's old cell; he knew that she wouldn't mind being helpful when it came to taking down Chuck.</p><p>After a few months of grieving, Mia joined them again. She was a lot quieter, especially at first, but what were they supposed to complain about exactly? Were they supposed to fault her for being sad because their camping trips were less lively? Of course not; everyone understood that she was suffering and dealing with her pain.</p><p>Everyone liked Jody. Hell, even Dean liked her, though she wasn't his biggest fan. The inescapable truth was: her loss hurt everyone.</p><p>Raphael had actually been a perfect companion for the surviving Mills. His respect for Mia drew him to Sean, who strangely enjoyed Raph's presence, maybe simply because the archangel was consistently quiet, calm, and aloof.</p><p>It had now been six years since Dean had arrived. Six whole years, full of confusion and pain.</p><p>He was well aware of exactly how much worse it had gotten over the six years; it was like one giant downhill slide.</p><p>Year one was almost a bit fun. It was terrifying, but he was making friends, coping with his loss, and fighting monsters alongside some kickass people.</p><p>Year two was fun because he camped out with his friends once a week, and he felt free and comfortable, getting used to and actually enjoying his situation a little bit. He got to tell them all about his life and his adventures from before he ever got there.</p><p>Year three marked the beginning of his hope, hope that they could defeat Chuck and hope that he could actually genuinely save this world he had grown so attached to. Hope that he can go home.</p><p>Year four was the year everything turned on its head. They made a lot of progress in finding a key, but it was mostly just known as the year the angels massacred their camp.</p><p>Years five and six blended together; it was one silent wild goose chase after the next, with survivors that they had called friends and family trickling out to find a new life, away from the devastation they had to live through.</p><p>But in the final months, things started turning around. Mia was acting like herself again, happy and present, and they were all laughing and sharing stories again.</p><p>Then it happened. One fateful day, a little over six years from when Dean first found that damned rift.</p><p>"DEAN! Get your ass out of bed!" Someone was shouting as Dean cleared the sleep from his eyes. He blinked up to see Sean, Mia, and Kevin, his roommates for six years, standing above him excitedly.</p><p>"Morning guys…" Dean mumbled, not matching their excitement. "Oh, hey, Kev. Back from your trip with Luc so soon?"</p><p>"Dean, wake the fuck up and come to the cafeteria!" Kevin shouted instead of an actual greeting, and he darted from the room.</p><p>Sean sighed. "He could have been nicer Dean-o, but he's right!" The Mills hurried out of the room as well.</p><p>Dean picked up the pace a bit just out of curiosity, but he still took his time getting downstairs just to annoy Kevin; after all, it was his favorite pastime. When he did finally arrive in the cafeteria, everyone was there. Literally, everyone. All of the remaining thirty-five survivors, including the two resident archangels.</p><p>Before Dean could open his mouth and welcome Lucifer back from his week-long trip with Kevin, the archangel had crossed the room and enveloped him in a hug, which Dean could not comprehend and therefore wasn't returning.</p><p>"Uh, buddy? You okay? You weren't gone that long," Dean laughed into his shoulder, but he was a bit surprised as Lucifer's grip only tightened.</p><p>Not pulling away, Lucifer whispered into his ear, "we have it. Dean, we have the Seal."</p><p>He froze inside Lucifer's embrace. He felt everything in him stop and pause, trying to catch up.</p><p>They had the Seal of Solomon, they had the fruit from the Tree of Life, they had archangel grace, they had Dean's hair, they had literally everything they needed.</p><p>He could go home.</p><p>Instead of saying anything, he simply threw his arms around Luc to match his hug, and he buried his face in his shoulder, focusing on his breathing as Lucifer squeezed him tighter, the excitement practically vibrating off of him.</p><p>After six years, he could finally, finally go home. Finally see his brother again, finally see Cas. They weren't just figures in a photograph that he held onto for fear of forgetting; they would be in front of him; they would be tangible and real.</p><p>He finally stepped away from Lucifer when he felt the tears he had let slip dry, and he just smiled at the archangel beaming at him.</p><p>Suddenly, from behind, someone jumped on his back, wrapping their legs around Dean's torso and throwing their arms around his neck.</p><p>"Let's celebrate!" Kevin screamed from his position as Dean's backpack, and he heard as everyone in the room erupted into cheering and excited chattering.</p><p>"Of course, you don't have to throw a party," Raphael reasoned as he lifted Kevin off of Dean's back and set him on the ground, now crossing his arms and pouting. "Dean may just want to go back home right away."</p><p>Though he had waited six years for this moment, something about what Raphael was saying scared him. "No, it's okay. We should coordinate what we're going to be doing there, make a real plan before we go."</p><p>Lucifer shared a look with Raphael that Dean chose to ignore. "Alright then, Dean, this is all up to you. You want to make a plan, we'll do it." Lucifer paused and beckoned Mia and Sean to come over to them. "First things first, I'm coming with you—that one's non-negotiable. You can't get rid of me that easy," Lucifer nudged him with his elbow. "I promise to stay away from your family, of course, I wouldn't want to freak them out, but I will obviously be there to fly you to any place at any time and help you build the Ma'lak box and find Gabriel's key." Lucifer now looked up expectantly at the others.</p><p>"Well, that's easy; I'm coming too!" Kevin said with a big grin on his face. "I want to explore a world that actually has stores and restaurants and humans wandering the streets."</p><p>Raphael glanced back to the survivors, still chatting and laughing behind them. "I must stay here, at least until our father is incapacitated for good. I must protect these people, and we should minimize the powerful beings appearing in your world, Dean. We wouldn't want to bring any attention to ourselves, at least any more than necessary."</p><p>Sean nodded with him. "It would be nice to keep one of you around, at least until we don't have monsters to worry about anymore."</p><p>Mia bit her cheek anxiously. "Dad, I want to go with them. I know that means we're splitting up, but-"</p><p>"Of course you should go," Sean said with a warm smile, and Mia looked incredibly taken aback.</p><p>"You aren't going to argue with me? Or handcuff me to a radiator to keep me from leaving? It's what… it's what mom would have done."</p><p>"Yes, but she would have wanted you to slip the cuffs and sneak off anyway," Sean replied fondly. "She was protective, but she always wanted you to do whatever you wanted and go on the adventures you wanted. Honey, there isn't a life for you here. For either of us, now that we lost your mom. So, think of this as me sending you early to scout out a place for us. And if you do happen to spend your time there nosing into Dean's personal life and trying to imprison God, then who am I to stand in your way?"</p><p>Mia basically tackled her father in a hug. "Thank you," she whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.</p><p>Sean and Raphael smiled at them as they got up to leave them to their planning. Lucifer, Mia, and Kevin turned to Dean expectantly, waiting for what he would say.</p><p>He knew what they were waiting to hear. Naturally, they wanted to know; after all, they had become very involved in Dean's personal life and his past, so it was the question they all wanted to be answered. Would Dean send them to his world six years from when he left, or a day?</p><p>He took a breath; he had been thinking about what he wanted. He had been weighing the pros and cons of both options, and he had a feeling that they weren't going to like the second half of his decision.</p><p>"I want to go back a day after I left," he admitted, and he saw Kevin bounce with happiness while Mia nodded slowly but judgmentally. Lucifer was just smiling patiently.</p><p>He knew how they felt about the options. Kevin wanted him to go back a day after he left to spare his family any further pain. Mia wanted him to go back to his world at the moment they were in now, not "cheating" and erasing their last six years since Dean had to suffer through them. She thought that his family deserved to be happy, but she wanted them to be able to understand and grasp precisely how much time had passed.</p><p>Lucifer just wanted Dean to be happy and refused to show any preference for one decision over the other.</p><p>But now, he was preparing himself to make them all angry at him because he knew his next decision would not be popular among any of them.</p><p>"Also, I'm not going to tell them about the last six years."</p><p>"I'm sorry, what?!"</p><p>"What the hell did you just say?"</p><p>"Dean, are you absolutely sure about this?"</p><p>They were all speaking over one another, Kevin and Mia looking somewhere between furious and shocked. At the same time, Lucifer had simply furrowed his brow, not showing enough emotion to offset his position as "indifferent," or at least so-called.</p><p>Dean raised a hand to silence them, and he waited until they were reticent, with their attention fixed on him. "At least until we put Chuck away for good. Then from there, I will consider, just consider, telling them. But until that point, I'm not going to complicate the situation any more than it already is," he paused, staring at the two humans. "I need you to promise me that you'll accept that, no questions asked. Okay?" After they didn't answer, both grumbling defensively, he snapped his fingers at them. "I said, okay?"</p><p>"Yes, fine. Promise."</p><p>"Okay, whatever."</p><p>Kevin and Mia got up and walked away, both of them having their arms crossed, looking pretty annoyed. Lucifer simply raised an eyebrow at Dean. "You didn't ask ME to promise, no questions asked."</p><p>"Yeah, because I'm allowing you questions," Dean admitted, to Lucifer's apparent surprise. "Don't act so shocked, Luc. You're the one doing me the favor of taking me back in time. Besides, I know they're both adults, but sometimes they don't act like it. I can level with you because you can handle it. They can't always handle things."</p><p>The archangel shrugged. "Fair enough. I guess I would ask you if you're sure of the reason you're doing this." Dean shot him a confused look. "I'm serious, Dean. I'm saying this because I love you, you know that. But you need to be really sure. Sam and Cas are your family, and showing up a day after you disappeared, pretending that you saw them one day ago, that's not easy. Pretending you didn't spend six years away from them won't be easy."</p><p>Dean bit his lower lip. "What other reason would I have to not tell them then, Luc?"</p><p>"Maybe you don't want to tell them because you're scared."</p><p>"Of what?"</p><p>"That they'll see you differently. I understand not wanting to involve them in our plan to get rid of my father, but if I'm honest with you, I don't see how lying about your whereabouts will help keep them out of danger. I can see, however, how you may feel worried about them knowing because you don't want to see their pity, or their sadness, or their guilt." Lucifer stood up before Dean could object and patted him on the back. "I'm not accusing you of anything, Dean. Just… something to think about."</p><p>Dean stood with him and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "We should leave in the morning," he said, rather than arguing about whether or not Luc's assessment was accurate. "You know, give Mia one more night with her father before we go."</p><p>Lucifer gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I think we'd all do well with some alone time, right?"</p><p>Dean was happy that Lucifer could seemingly read his mind at times.</p><p>-</p><p>"I insist."</p><p>"That's ridiculous!"</p><p>"Brother, please. You have to save your strength for the time travel aspect of this."</p><p>"I'm not letting you go through with this; you need your strength as well!"</p><p>"And I will get it back soon. I promise that I will be fine." Raphael calmed his brother by placing his hands on his forearms. "Everything will be fine, Lucifer. And when this is over, we will be together. As we should have been for the past couple of centuries. I promise," Raphael's stony exterior was cracked by a comforting smile.</p><p>"Fine. We'll use your grace," Lucifer conceded. It had been evident that Lucifer was having the most challenging time leaving that morning. He worried about who he'd be leaving behind, the survivors and his brother.</p><p>The spell was ready, and Dean choked on his own breath as that familiar golden tear in the fabric of the universe appeared before him.</p><p>This was it, his door home. His door back to Sam. His door back to Cas. Back to the bunker, back to sleeping on a bed, back to his Impala, back to feeling safe outside. Back to privacy, supermarkets, clothing stores, restaurants, television, and working phones.

Back to his life, picking up where he left off six years ago.</p><p>-</p><p>He felt a rush of energy through his body, every bone and muscle being wrapped in light as he stepped onto the cold hard floors of his bunker once more.</p><p>He looked around as if unsure if where he entered was even real. But it looked the same as it had when he left it six years ago.</p><p>An overwhelming sense of relief and exhaustion knotting together in his stomach and lungs knocked him to the ground, as he slowly fell onto his knees.</p><p>He gently reached his face, stretching it and feeling it. It lacked a wrinkle or two, and some unkempt facial hair was now back to being mostly shaven. He both desperately needed and morosely feared a mirror at the current moment.</p><p>He was vaguely aware of the three companions that had come here with him, by his side as they had been for the last six years. A familiar and sturdy arm reached through the numbness as it wrapped around his shoulders supportively and carried with it that relief and exhaustion that had knocked him to the ground in the first place. With one hand, he grabbed onto the hand and wrist of the arm around him, trying to ease the concern that came with it.</p><p>Dean honestly wasn't sure if everything was fixed now. He wasn't sure anything in his life could be considered "fixed," but they had all just come out the other side of the most challenging task of their lives.</p><p>"Dean? Is this… is this the place?" A boy, who hadn't been a boy for years now, spoke from a few feet behind him. Dean's immediate collapse to the ground should have been proof enough. Still, he sympathized with the question's intentions because he knew better than to ever assume something had gone well for them.</p><p>The arm around his shoulders only grew tighter. Dean could feel the tears he was fighting slip out of the corners of his eyes as he felt the body the arm belonged to, now also on the ground, press against him.  The body was now wrapping a second arm around his chest, meeting the other hands on Dean's shoulder, both his own and the one put there before.</p><p>For the first time in a while, Dean remembered how he felt being held, hugged, and crying. He used to be embarrassed. Perhaps it was being in this bunker again that reminded him of that. But he had gone through so much, especially with these three people, that grief and affection weren't suspicious, feared, or unwanted anymore.</p><p>He sniffed loudly, letting out a laugh at both how pitiful the sound was and how overjoyed he felt. "Yeah, Kevin. This is… I'm home. This is my home." The words felt strange on his tongue.</p><p>It was so… strange. Dean felt like a child on their birthday, having waited for days in excitement and anticipation. When it was really there, they felt so excited, and yet it almost felt unreal. Perhaps as a result of having waited for so long for it to finally come.</p><p>He felt a hand on his shoulder, more on his back, inches beneath where his hand was sandwiched between the two of the figures hugging him. The fingers were smaller and slender, just as familiar as the ones digging into his bones above it. Her touch was all-too reminiscent of the concept of winning a battle.</p><p>He felt another hand just above where his knee sat on the ground and looked up from the fixed point on the floor he had settled his vision on to meet Kevin, the third figure to reach the floor with him.</p><p>The four of them just sat there for a moment, unmoving and not speaking a word. They didn't need to, not really. They hadn't needed words to communicate for a while now. That's what came when you fought by someone's side, lived with them, and watched mutual friends die with them. A new language, one not needing the ability to hear or speak, or even see. Just to feel his consistently optimistic young friend's hand above his knee, the gentle hand of the woman he'd trained and fought beside since she was still just a kid. The full embrace of the man who he had fought beside, led armies beside, and trusted as his closest friend, confidant, and family for six years. It felt right and kind, and sweet.</p><p>Was "sweet" the word? Most definitely.</p><p>They had made it. They hadn't just survived; they won. They hadn't fled; they made it out. And now, Dean had two people he had missed more than anything for six years within reach very soon.</p><p>He finally stood, and all of the hands and arms untangled themselves from around him. "How close did we get?" He inquired the man next to him as his arms returned to his side.</p><p>He had seen so much of this man, of all three of his friends, over the last years. He had memorized everything about each one of them. Kevin's every new scar, the girl's inch she gained every year, and perhaps most interestingly, the blonde man's lack of change beside him. A man he'd never expected to be friends with, let alone become so fiercely loyal to and protective of. He still had the stony, rough features of the vessel Dean had seen so much of, farther back than just the six years since he met this version of him. He still had the understanding and wiseness of the angelic being lying powerfully beneath the human skin who had been around longer than any being left free in the world. He looked around the bunker as well. It was a place he'd never been in before, but he was almost as grateful as the hunter himself to be there now. </p><p>"Exactly twenty-four hours after you left."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it's a day late, but yay! We've made it this far! Now to enter the final stages, Dean's unfinished business back home, the defeat of Chuck, and eventually telling everyone what happened... all in due time!</p><p>Also, return of Chuck next chapter!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Feet of Clay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ruth is too little too late, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a plan. Meanwhile, Cas notices that something in the universe seems right again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"They're gone, ma'am. They're all gone."</p><p>"Dammit!" Ruth kicked one of the cafeteria tables in the base, and it flew across the room, hitting the wall with a sickening crack. "How the hell can we be too late? How the hell did they even find Michael's key?!"</p><p>"I'm… I'm sorry, ma'am."</p><p>"Oh, grow a pair!" She snarled at the timid angel beside her.</p><p>"Ooh, you're feisty. I admire that." A voice came from behind, and she spun to see a small, squirrely man with a beard.</p><p>"Hey!" The timid angel shouted, walking past Ruth to approach the man. "Where are the others?!"</p><p>Ruth grabbed his arm and yanked him to the ground, bringing herself to one knee as well. "That's our father, Samandriel!" She hissed.</p><p>Chuck clapped. "I see someone's done their due diligence. Tell me, what are all of you doing here?"</p><p>"Well, my Lord, this school served as a base for some survivors and… your sons."</p><p>Chuck gave her a dry smile that was scarily emotionless. "My sons? Elaborate, if you would."</p><p>Ruth gulped anxiously. "Raphael and… um… Lucifer."</p><p>Chuck's smile instantly faded, and without raising a finger, every single table and chair in the cafeteria beside the one next to him hurtled to the walls at intensely high speeds, sending the handful of angels in the room scrambling away.</p><p>Chuck settled down, and his fake smile returned. "Tell me, where is Lucifer now?"</p><p>"He's gone, my Lord."</p><p>"Okay. Gone where?"</p><p>"To another universe, we believe."</p><p>Chuck's fust pounded the table beside him, and it cracked and crumpled to the floor. "There is only one universe left. Tell me, was Dean Winchester with him?"</p><p>Her eyes darted to the floor. "Yes. We believe they've been friends for the last six years."</p><p>"Dammit," Chuck whispered to himself. He hadn't anticipated the two meeting so quickly, let alone Dean Winchester putting aside his hatred for the Lucifer he already knew. What had he miscalculated?</p><p>He had been a little confused as to why this earth was holding on for as long as it had been, but now he supposed it might have something to do with the annoying and unlikely friendship between his failed son and that stubborn son of a bitch hunter he had meant to just suffer and die. But now, they were both back in Chuck's favorite world, the one he'd been saving for last. Dean's reappearance in his own world was not part of the plan.</p><p>He was a little concerned that she mentioned Raphael. His son didn't like him all that much, and he was pretty sure if anyone of his creations knew how to stop him, it would be Raphael.</p><p>"Ruth, you're going to go to the other world. I'll open a rift here for you, and you will stop at nothing. You will kill Dean Winchester and anyone who gets in your way, sound good?" Chuck didn't even wait for an answer, he just snapped his fingers, and a rift appeared. Then he disappeared yet again.</p><p>Ruth smacked the back of Samandriel's head as she stood up. "You could have gotten us killed!"</p><p>"Sorry!" He replied, voice shaking. God, why did she have to have the most useless angels on her squadron?</p><p>She stared into the rift for a minute before turning back to face Samandriel. "Come on, we're going to Raphael's cave."</p><p>"Um… why? Aren't we supposed to go through the rift and kill Dean Winchester?"</p><p>"Yes, obviously, you idiot. But there's something in Raphael's extensive collection that could do us one better."</p><p>She waved her hands, waiting for him to understand what she was saying, but he just shrugged at her, causing her to throw her head back and groan loudly.</p><p>"You are the dumbest Second I have ever commanded," she grumbled to herself as she glanced back to the rift. "Imagine what my father will owe us if we kill Lucifer."</p><p>-</p><p>Dean wiped the tears out of his eyes and brushed off his clothes, clearing his throat and trying to re-ground himself. "Sorry, it's just…"</p><p>"Literally no one is mad at you," Mia said, exasperated.</p><p>Lucifer was looking around curiously. "Well, they aren't home, which is good considering I did not realize we would be landing directly in your bunker."</p><p>Dean ran a hand over his face, trying to ignore all the feelings that were bubbling up and be the level-headed, reliable Dean Winchester that his friends relied on. "Right, Luc, do you think you could fly us to my car? It's about thirty minutes away, but I won't really be able to explain how I got back here if not with the car."</p><p>"Right!" Lucifer clapped his hands together. "Are we ready?"</p><p>"Wait!" Dean took off down the halls toward his room. He hadn't been there in so long, but his legs carried him down the right turns as though he really had just been in there yesterday.</p><p>Stepping into his room was more challenging than he anticipated, though, as the emotions that came to the surface upon seeing his bed and his things, accurately as he left them, almost brought him to his knees again.</p><p>He simply swallowed the lump in his throat and trudged forward, trying not to look around, and headed straight for his desk. He pulled out the drawer and pulled out two of his more durable spare phones, and then he practically ran back out, not sure he could spend another second in there without crumpling into a ball.</p><p>He sprinted back out and smiled at all of them, trying to be reassuring. They were all staring at him like he was some bomb about to go off at any moment. "Ready." He nodded to them all.</p><p>Lucifer shared an uneasy look with his friends, but he simply did as he was asked and whisked them off to where the rift originated.</p><p>Dean blinked in the dark shed. It felt a lot smaller now that he was in there with three other people, and the only light came from the entrance where a door was supposed to be.</p><p>He let out another long breath. He did not like this place one bit, and he marched out the door to see his Baby.</p><p>There she was, in all her glory, as beautiful as the last time he saw her. He walked up, ran his fingers over her hood, and walked with his fingers dragging around to the driver's side door. "Hey, Baby," he muttered to the car.</p><p>"This is nice…" Kevin admired the car with him. "A real beauty."</p><p>Dean snorted. "The Kevin I know would never say that." He cleared his throat, finally dragging his attention away from his beloved Impala. "Alright, well, one of you is going to need to be my alibi for where I've been, which means one of you has to be with me when I see Sam and Cas again."</p><p>All three of their arms shot up.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "Mia. The person is Mia."</p><p>"Aw boo." Kevin frowned at him while Mia stuck her tongue out at him. Children.</p><p>"Sorry, Kev, but I don't think my family will take too well to either the ghost of one of our friends or the face of the man who was the actual devil and then a serial killer." He gave them both pointed looks, and they had the decency to look embarrassed for not remembering that any sooner.</p><p>Dean reached into his pocket and tossed Kevin and Luc each a phone he took from his room. "Here you go, all of my cell numbers are in there, so once I get back and pick a new phone out, I will text you from that number, okay?"</p><p>Lucifer and Kevin recognized this as a goodbye and rounded the car, wrapping Dean in a hug.

"Jeez, guys, we're going to be seeing each other really soon. Let's not forget why we're here. We still need Gabriel's key."</p><p>"Yes, but you need a break. Kevin and I will work on the new Ma'lak Box, but you must take a week's reprieve at least," Lucifer stared down at his friend pointedly. "Mia here will make sure of it."</p><p>Dean put his hands in the air in surrender. "Okay, fine! But the moment you can use my help again, we will be back in action, okay?"</p><p>"Deal."</p><p>Lucifer and Kevin waved as Dean and Mia climbed into the car and drove off down the familiar Lebanon roads toward the bunker.</p><p>-</p><p>Cas was sitting in the truck while Sam filled it with gas outside.</p><p>The angel had been panicking a lot in the last twenty-four hours, and he was trying to calm down. Just because he felt that emptiness in his chest did not mean that Dean was dead. He was just dramatic.</p><p>Maybe the emptiness he felt wasn't even an accurate tell. Perhaps he only felt the emptiness because he couldn't find Dean, and that was just the feeling associated with that exact situation. Maybe it meant nothing.</p><p>He rechecked the time, then looked back out the window, and then checked the time again.</p><p>If Dean came home, he would be sure to lecture him for leaving and scaring him. THEM, scaring THEM. Dear god, WHEN. When Dean came home, not if.</p><p>His frustration with his thoughts started to crowd him, and he wanted to cry or punch something. Why was that exactly? Why was he so emotionally invested in this?</p><p>If he thought really hard, he knew why.</p><p>This wasn't just about liking Dean, or even liking him more than his brother; it was about liking him more than anyone. Liking him more than anything or person or task in his life.</p><p>Liking him more than he liked himself, so much so that he would happily be tortured for the rest of eternity if it meant knowing that Dean was safe.</p><p>Loving him.</p><p>He felt his face flush red, even though Sam wasn't even in the truck or paying attention to him. He had to ignore his thoughts; they weren't okay. Dean would always see him as his friend, and Cas could be okay with that, honestly, as long as Dean was at least with him.</p><p>He clawed at his eyes with his hands, desperately trying to stop himself from crying, knowing that Sam could finish up at any moment, but his acknowledgment of his love for Dean only made his absence ache with the weight of every pain he'd ever felt.</p><p>It was like he couldn't breathe. He grasped the handle on his door but didn't open it; he just attempted to calm his mind and ride out his fear and panic, but behind his eyelids were images of Dean laughing and smiling and sleeping soundly in his arms as he carried him to his room. It was all too much, and he wanted to scream.</p><p>Suddenly, his panic stopped. The emptiness in his chest was suddenly flooded with warmth, and it felt as though something was occupying the vacuous space, curled and nested in his sternum. His breath came back to him, and his fear dissipated ever so slightly.</p><p>He blinked in confusion as Sam hopped back into the driver's side door. "We've been looking all morning; maybe we should go back to the bunker." Sam glanced over and saw the angel, not really paying him any mind. "Cas? Hey, are you doing okay?"</p><p>Cas nodded and gave Sam a small but genuine smile. "Yes, I think that would be best."</p><p>Sam's eyes widened in surprise. For the last day, Cas had been a weird, quiet, brooding mess, but now he seemed calmer. "Okay, well, it's a little over an hour back into town, so we'll keep a lookout for the Impala on the way back," he suggested as he put the truck into gear.</p><p>Cas just nodded in agreement and looked back out the window. He could only pray that Dean would finally be there when they got back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I KNOW I'M EVIL FOR NOT HAVING THE REUNION IN THIS CHAPTER! I'M SORRY! I forgot about the Ruth segment and the Cas segment so I'm taking advantage of extending the chapters... but they will reunite next chapter I promise!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. White Lines Dancing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The reunion you've been waiting for</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You didn't mean that, right? What you were implying?" Mia spoke up after the shed was no longer in sight.</p><p>"Implying what?" Dean asked absently.</p><p>"You said, 'let's not forget why we're here'."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"And… we're not just here to get Gabriel's Key. This is about you being home again. That's why we're here."</p><p>"I know," Dean responded, but it wasn't as believable as either of them hoped.</p><p>"So…" Mia changed the subject. "Six years, and you can finally fulfill your end of the deal."</p><p>Dean froze. He'd forgotten about that. Not about his feelings for Cas, or even about his deal with Mia, he had forgotten that since Mia needed to come with him, he would actually have to make good on the deal pretty quickly, and that terrified him.</p><p>"Yep," Dean replied, nervously tapping the wheel.</p><p>Mia let out a little huff. She knew it was selfish to want to talk to Dean about these things, but it still irked her that she really didn't have a right to be involved. She wanted Dean to be excited about going home, excited about talking to Cas, but if he wasn't, she couldn't force him to be. She just had to be there for him and let him do things at his own pace.</p><p>Last night, she had been pretty upset when he revealed that he wasn't planning on telling his family about anything. She had been expecting a teary-eyed greeting followed by hours of explanations and stories about life in Mia's world, but she wouldn't be getting any of that.</p><p>She just had to learn to be okay helping him out in the way he wanted, not the way she wanted.</p><p>"Okay, so what's our plan?" She decided to settle on the query rather than any other touchy subject. "You've been gone for a day with no contact. You didn't leave a note, and your phone was completely inaccessible."</p><p>"True…" Dean hummed thoughtfully. "First of all, we'll say the reason I left so quickly was because you needed me to help you with a case."</p><p>"Ooh, we can say that it was a life or death situation, like some of your old adventures!" Mia exclaimed excitedly. "Maybe I was lured by a siren, or hexed by a witch, or-"</p><p>"Or maybe let's stick to what you know, in case they ask you any questions," Dean interrupted. "We'll say you called me because you ran into a vamp nest."</p><p>"Good idea, but what about your phone? They're going to ask why your phone went straight to voicemail and why you didn't contact them in any way."</p><p>Dean nodded slowly, starting to realize all of the things they would have to iron out. "Well, I can't say I dropped my phone, that's the dumbest excuse in the book, and I've used that on Sam many times when I would screen his calls when we were teenagers. It'll be the boy who cried wolf."</p><p>She nodded thoughtfully. "Well, what were you doing before Max called?"</p><p>He remembered that day incredibly well; he had thought back to that day hundreds of times in the last six years, feeling guilt or regret. "Well, I was stuck at home, and I… that's it!" He glanced over at Mia excitedly. "I was doing the dishes; I could have dropped my phone in the water when you called. I practically actually did that the first time around anyway. I'll just say I fished it out and took it with me in hopes that it would start working while I was out."</p><p>"Great!" Mia smiled while looking out the windshield. This was going to work. She would be sure of that.</p><p>Dean was getting more and more anxious as he started driving the too familiar roads that brought him closer and closer to the bunker. He could hardly breathe as he did pull into the drive and then pulled the car inside.</p><p>The two of them cautiously began moving from the car to the garage to the door, and Dean took a centering breath before walking inside.</p><p>It was empty, just as empty as when they had arrived there half an hour ago. Dean actually breathed a sigh of relief, having had no real idea what to do once he walked in and saw them.

They went down the stairs and sat at one of the tables in the library area, with the stairs and entrance still in sight. Mia watched with hidden pity as Dean was wringing his hands, his eyes flitting over to the top of the stairs every few seconds.</p><p>She reached her arms across the table and put her hands on Dean's nervous, shaking ones. "Hey, it's going to be okay."</p><p>The hunter started shaking his head fervently. "No, it's not. This… this was a mistake." He stood up quickly, and Mia followed suit, now concerned. "I should have just stayed over there."</p><p>"Dean, stop!" Mia's eyes were wide, but he wasn't done nervously rambling yet.</p><p>"No, this was wrong. I'll just call for Luc and have him take me away. I'll just help find Gabriel's key, and then he can send me back," Dean wouldn't meet her eyes, and his voice was shaking. "That's it. I just need to go back. If I just go back to the school, then maybe I can breathe again. Besides, it's not like they need to see me; I just need to leave and then-"</p><p>"Dean, stop it! Just stop." Mia grabbed Dean by the shoulders.</p><p>She had never seen him this scared in her life. She'd seen him sad or angry but never scared. This was new territory for her, but she would be damned if she couldn't navigate this part of his personality as well. Dean was like an older brother to her, and she wasn't going to suddenly find him "too complicated."</p><p>"Listen to me," she shook him until he locked eyes with her. "You're just scared to see them again. I know that this is hard. But the entire reason you came to this moment was to spare them from having to spend any more time away from you. So don't make them do it now."</p><p>Dean nodded and slumped back into his chair. "You're right that I'm overreacting, I get that, but you overestimate my selflessness."</p><p>Mia sank into the chair opposite him again. "I doubt that. I've seen you throw yourself in front of a wendigo to help Kevin. One time, you climbed a mountain completely by yourself to pick Hanna's daughter her favorite flowers for her damn birthday, because, and I quote, 'no one else was going to do it.'"</p><p>He smiled at the memories, but his happiness was quickly replaced with the discouragement he had on his face before. "Maybe in your world, it was easier. But the reason I said that is because I didn't decide to come to this moment in time to 'spare them' anything. I came so that I wouldn't have to talk about where I've been for the past six years."</p><p>Mia raised her eyebrows at him. "Really? I guess I just assumed… so, are you okay?"</p><p>Dean clenched and unclenched his fists. "I'm going to be fine; I just think that maybe this section of my life is the harder one."</p><p>She couldn't stop the laugh that left her throat. "Are you kidding me? Dean Winchester, who went to hell for forty years, who bore the Mark of Cain, who was a demon, who was trapped in Purgatory, and who has spent the last six years of his life locked in a dying world swarming with monsters, that Dean Winchester is discovering that the hardest point he's reached in his life is reuniting with his family?"</p><p>This time Dean actually did laugh, and it was genuine. "When you put it like that, you make my life sound pretty shitty." He sighed, grounding himself. "I don't know what I'm going to do when they finally walk in. How the hell am I supposed to greet them as though I saw them just yesterday? I don't want to raise their suspicions, but I don't know how much control I have over myself and my emotions at the moment."</p><p>Mia tapped the table thoughtfully. He had a point, and she knew Dean; the second they came in the door, he would hug them and have a hard time not crying. "Leave that to me."</p><p>"I don't know, Mia."</p><p>"No, really!" She protested. "I'll pull them aside at some point and tell them that you almost died rescuing me from the vamp nest. That would explain away any… urgency that you might show in your reunion."</p><p>"That's smart, Mia. Thanks." He smiled at her, and she squeezed his hand briefly.</p><p>The door above the stairs creaked open, and for the first time, Mia saw the man from the picture. Sam Winchester, standing at the top of the stairs, staring down at his brother. He was alone, but Mia assumed that Cas wasn't far behind.</p><p>"Dean, what the hell?!" Sam's voice was frustrated, but he quickly lumbered down the metal stairs and approached his brother. "You know, you have some nerve-"</p><p>Dean cut him off by wrapping him in a big hug. Sam stood there frozen for a moment, confused as all hell, but quickly relaxed in defeat, returning the hug, just as tightly as his brother held onto him.</p><p>Yes, he was pissed that Dean disappeared yesterday with no explanation, but after Cas' startling confession, he had genuinely been worried that Dean could have been dead.</p><p>Dean finally pulled away, and Sam swore he could almost see tears welling in his brother's eyes. "Uh, I'm sorry. About being gone, I mean." His voice was shaky and uncertain and full of complicated and some contradictory emotions, and Sam honestly did not understand what was happening with his brother or why this young woman was standing next to him, smiling weirdly at Sam.</p><p>The stranger spoke up. "You must be Sam! I'm Mia, and I was wondering if you could show me to the kitchen."</p><p>Dean glared at her while Sam looked at her, confused. Dean knew exactly what the little shit was doing; she wanted Dean to be alone when Cas came inside.</p><p>"Sorry, what?" Poor Sam was just more and more startled.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes and decided to play into Mia's little game because though she was doing it out of this childish matchmaker-y obsession with Dean and Cas, he did actually want his reunion with Cas to just be the two of them. "Sorry, Sammy, Mia's kind of rude," he said, sending her a death glare, "but she's cool. And starving, she hasn't eaten for like two days."

Dean's annoyance at his young friend actually pushed his voice back into it's normal, sarcastic, Dean-ness that comforted Sam a bit amidst all of his confusion, so he just shrugged and led the girl down the hall and toward the kitchen.</p><p>"So, do you want to tell me what's going on here, Mia?" Sam asked as they arrived at the entrance to the kitchen.</p><p>Mia ignored him completely, taking in every inch of this place and now, especially its kitchen.

"Dean will explain," she said simply, not even bothering to look at the photo guy, sorry, Sam, and instead rummaging through cupboards in hopes of finding something to eat that she hadn't had access to back home.</p><p>In the main room, Dean smiled after the two as they disappeared into the hallways. He knew that Mia would give Sam a hell of a time, and he almost wished that he was watching.</p><p>He wished that much less as the door creaked again, and he saw that familiar face he had been missing for so many years.</p><p>"Sam, the Impala is back in the garage…" he trailed off as he locked eyes with Dean. "Dean!" He exclaimed, sounding excited, and he began down the stairs.</p><p>Dammit, Dean, hold it together. God knows that the second Mia saw the two in the same room, she would spare no shortage of vague and not-so-subtle comments about Dean's feelings, and that would be embarrassing enough to shake and play-off, so he didn't want to screw this up. He wouldn't hug him; it would be a lot less in character for him.</p><p>But as Cas approached him, and he looked into his bright blue eyes again, Dean could feel tears welling in his own eyes, and he could feel his body shake.</p><p>He was thinking of that dream he had, two whole years ago, that he had never managed to shake. The image of Cas, emotionless, and unfeeling, not recognizing him.</p><p>Unfortunately, Cas noticed Dean's incredibly fragile emotional state, and he gently grabbed Dean's arms. "Dean, are you hurt?" Cas asked so sincerely and lacking any spite or anger or frustration that Sam had upon seeing him, Dean couldn't do it. He couldn't handle Cas's gentle lack of judgment and overwhelming concern and compassion for him.</p><p>Screwing whatever he deemed "out of character", Dean grabbed the angel and forcefully pulled him into a hug, unable to look in his eyes for a second longer for fear of crumpling onto the floor and sobbing.</p><p>He immediately felt Cas's arms latch themselves around him, and he melted into the angel's embrace. He had one hand on the back of Dean's neck and one on the small of his back, rubbing gently up and down. Dean had both arms attached around Cas's back, holding on for dear life as he attempted to keep his tears back by stuffing his face in the angel's shoulder.

Castiel had been thrilled and concerned to see Dean alive and well in the bunker, but he knew there was something terribly wrong. Dean was holding onto him very tightly, and that was pretty out of character for him, not that Cas was complaining. But inside the embrace, Dean was shaking. He was trembling, and Cas worried if he held onto him any tighter, he would shatter the man into a million pieces.</p><p>"Dean, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong." Cas so desperately wanted to fix everything. He wanted to find anyone that might have hurt Dean and smite them all and send them to hell.

Dean finally, albeit reluctantly, pulled out of the hug, only after knowing that no tears were streaking his face. "Nothing's wrong, Cas. Not anymore." It was perhaps the most sincere thing he'd said in a while.</p><p>Looking into Cas's eyes again almost felt unreal. He wasn't just a picture anymore, he was real, and he was in front of him. It was nearly enough to break into tears again, but Dean managed to control himself.</p><p>"You know if something's wrong, you can tell me, right?" Cas put his hands on Dean's shoulders to level himself with his face, and Dean cursed how perfect his angel was because it was making it so hard to pretend like the last six years never happened.</p><p>"I know, thanks, Cas," Dean couldn't help the crack in his voice while he said Cas's name.</p><p>Fortunately for him, Sam and Mia reappeared before Cas could ask another compassionate, concerned question that would make Dean unable to hold his emotions at bay. Luckily, Cas moved his hands from Dean's shoulders while fixing his attention on Mia, which was good timing because Dean was really struggling to stay standing with the contact.</p><p>Mia hurried over to Dean and put her arm around his shoulder, feigning casualty, but the two of them knew she was just trying to provide some grounding. She could see on his face the second she walked in that he was seconds away from cracking.</p><p>"Okay, now does someone want to tell me what's going on?" Sam asked exasperatedly as he walked over and stood beside Cas.</p><p>"Right," Dean responded, blowing out a breath. He was here, the greeting bit was over, and if he wanted to keep them out of this, he would have to start being more believable. "It's a bit of a long story, but I didn't mean to just leave without a word. I was doing the dishes when I got a call from Mia here."</p><p>She nodded with him. "I was in Kansas hunting a vampire nest I'd heard of, but I wasn't prepared for how many there were. I called Dean because he's… an old friend, and I knew that he would know what to do." Mia's explanation was pretty good, save for her hesitation when establishing her relationship with Dean.</p><p>"Right, so I knew I had to help her. It was urgent, too," he rushed to defend. "At the end of the phone call, she screamed, and I could only think the worst, and I dropped my phone in the sink. I panicked and left without grabbing a different one because I was so worried. But everything worked out in the end, right, Mia?"</p><p>She smiled brightly and nodded, and both of them studied Cas and Sam's faces. They seemed slightly unsure but not overly doubtful, so that seemed to be a good time.</p><p>"How do you two know each other?" Sam asked curiously.</p><p>Dean had to think. When would be a good time to have met some random hunter but not tell Sam about it, or have the two ever met? He and his brother had certainly spent their share of time apart, but he couldn't pinpoint any specific time, and he knew that would be his downfall.</p><p>"We hunted together with my dad back when you were in college, Sammy." Dean settled on that excuse, hoping it was a safe bet. He couldn't in good conscience bring up any of the times that the two were fighting because he wasn't sure if how long they were separated would constitute meeting a hunter and becoming attached enough to come running when she was in danger.</p><p>"Oh yeah, John Winchester," Mia piped in, drawing Sam's attention. "He was a stubborn, surly son of a bitch, I'll tell you that. He was always trying to hunt down that damn Colt to kill some demon creep." Dean was very glad he told Mia and the others all about his life and his family because any doubt that Sam had seemed to disappear. Maybe not permanently, but if he would be distracted by personal details about their father, then that was good enough for Dean.</p><p>Cas, however, remained looking confused and suspicious, but it had actually grown since Dean started his story. "Something wrong, Cas?" Dean asked, hoping that Cas would have easy to lie about questions.</p><p>"What happened to your leg?"</p><p>"Huh?" Dean looked down at his legs, not knowing what Cas was talking about. When he looked back up, Sam's moment of trust had wholly disappeared, replaced by shock and incredulity at Cas's prompt.</p><p>Oh shit.</p><p>How the hell had he forgotten? How the actual hell could he forget something like that? He remembered every detail of that day so vividly, so how the hell had he simply forgotten?</p><p>His leg. Six years ago, or more accurately, yesterday, his leg had been broken. Now here he was six years later, or more accurately, only one day later, and his leg was completely fine. Lucifer had slightly de-aged him to keep up appearances, but no one even considered that he had a broken leg when he disappeared.</p><p>Mia saw that Dean was at a loss for words and came up with the only solution she could on such short notice. "I'm a witch!"</p><p>Everyone stared at her, including Dean. She cleared her throat awkwardly, her brain flying a hundred miles an hour. "What I mean to say is… the truth is… I am a witch. That's… uh… why Dean didn't ever mention me. Or have me over at any point. He thinks witches are… skeevy."</p><p>She glanced over at Dean expectantly, worried that he would be mad at her or frustrated, or that maybe she ruined everything, but he had a relieved look on his face that made her calm down a bit. She had successfully used her knowledge of Dean and his personality to aid her lie, and she was just hoping it was enough so that Sam and Cas would buy it.</p><p>"Yeah, sorry, Mia, what you can do is freaky," Dean shot back to her, trying to perpetuate their story.</p><p>"Well, thank you then, Mia," Cas responded, probably at a loss for anything else. The two looked relatively calm, if not slightly suspicious, but Dean would take any victory he could get at the moment.</p><p>Dean cleared his throat, more than ready to have some time alone to let all of his bottled feelings out. "Well, I think I'm going to take a shower and maybe a nap. A long one. You guys don't mind if Mia stays with us for a few days…?"</p><p>Sam just sighed in defeat. "Of course not, Mia, you're welcome to our home," he gave her a warm smile.</p><p>Dean smiled at both of them gratefully and tried to board his grief and exhaustion back up very quickly, hoping they didn't see it. "I'll show Mia to a room to stay in." He hurried his young friend out of the room, leaving Sam and Cas alone once again.</p><p>He led her through the halls wordlessly until he arrived at the guest bedroom nearest his. He led her inside, and she closed the door behind them.</p><p>Dean immediately jumped onto the bed, face first, and shoved his face into the pillow. "Oh my god," was all he mumbled into the fabric.</p><p>"Do you think they believed it?"</p><p>Ignoring her question, he instead mumbled, "I cannot believe I forgot about the damn leg."</p><p>Mia went over and sat on the edge of the bed next to her friend's lying form. "I hope that witch thing wasn't too unbelievable."</p><p>Dean raised his head from the pillow and spun his body around so that he was still lying down but facing the ceiling. "Trust me, that's not the part they're going to have a problem with. I really screwed this one up, Mia."</p><p>"That's not true!" She slapped Dean's stomach that was lying right next to her. "Come on, you dumbass, what are they going to think? 'Oh, some of Dean sounded nervous, welp, guess that must mean he spent the last six years in an alternate universe!'"</p><p>"It's possible."</p><p>"No, it's not! It was a joke, Jesus Christ, I think we both need to calm down and settle into this situation." She took a long breath. "You've got to stop being so worried, and I've got to stop butting in and saying weird shit I can't prove."</p><p>Dean sighed and stood back up, leaving Mia on her bed. "The witch thing was literally the best solution you could have come up with. God knows I wasn't going to think of anything, and then where would we be? I'd rather cover for weird lies than just plead the fifth and run away anytime they have a question. I hate lying to them, but the only other safe alternative is just ignoring their questions and telling them not to worry about it. That would go over so much worse."</p><p>Mia snorted; she only knew about them through stories, but if those stories revealed anything about their personalities, it was that the three of them could always manage to be overly involved in each other's lives, and for good reason too.</p><p>She put a hand on Dean's arm from where she sat and planned to sit and stare at the wall thinking for the next hour or so. "It's going to be okay, Dean." She hesitated for a moment before asking, "how was it? Seeing them again?"</p><p>Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Let me guess. You just want to know what happened when Cas walked in?"</p><p>"Guilty… but I'm serious!"</p><p>"Fine!" He let out a weighty sigh. "It was conflicting. Seeing them again made me sadder than I expected and happier than I expected. I was so confused, and it didn't feel real. At least not until…" he trailed off as he noted what he was going to say was personal and slightly embarrassing. Mia's smile was growing and growing like the child she was. "Okay!" Dean put his hands up in surrender. "Until I was hugging Cas, is that what you wanted to hear?"</p><p>"Yes, you should know by now that that's exactly what I want to hear," she basically gloated at her victory.</p><p>He shook his head, but he wasn't really annoyed. The truth was, Mia saw right through him only because he was practically transparent these days. Maybe he had been more jaded or guarded six years ago when she was a goofy teenager, but over his time in that other world, he sort of stopped caring about how he looked, his toxic pride.</p><p>He left Mia to have some alone time and headed to his own room, thinking about just how right his claim about hugging the angel had been. Hugging his brother hadn't felt real; it felt like he was just dreaming that he was home and that it would all be gone in an instant.</p><p>Hugging Cas was different because it had to be real. None of his dreams would ever have been able to fake the sincerity and love that he felt in that embrace. Nothing he could have imagined or fantasized about back in Lucifer's world would be anywhere near as real and perfect as actually being wrapped in Cas's familiar trenchcoated arms. He looked the same, he smelled the same, he felt the same, he was the same in every way as Dean remembered but could never recapture alone.</p><p>He was home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I FINALLY POSTED THE REUNION! But the story isn't over yet...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Particles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam and Castiel discuss their suspicions about Dean's day of disappearance, and Cas has two interesting conversations in the middle of the night</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Dean and Mia scrambled rather quickly away, Sam waited until he couldn't hear their footsteps anymore before spinning to face Cas with his arms crossed. "Okay, what the actual hell was that?"</p><p>Cas stared after the hall that Dean disappeared in, not responding to Sam.</p><p>"Come on, Cas, that was a load of bullshit!"</p><p>Cas sighed, resigned. "Yeah, but he's home, Sam."</p><p>Sam was aware of Cas's want for things to just be okay; after all, he had seen just how emotional Cas had become in the last day, but he couldn't just ignore what happened. "He's lying about something. Did you see how he reacted when I asked about his leg? It was like he had no clue what I was talking about."</p><p>"Well, maybe he forgot…?" Cas attempted to defend, but his voice didn't come out as sure as he intended.</p><p>Sam crossed his arms. "Really? He forgot about the injury that's laid him up for the last few weeks? Come on," he grumbled. "Why did he forget about his leg? And why did he rush to the aid of a witch, dropping everything to go help her? I know he has an affinity for those young hunters, but he doesn't like witches. And he doesn't make exceptions."</p><p>Cas nodded, acknowledging that Sam was right. Dean never even got around to liking Rowena all that much; it took years for him to come around.</p><p>There was no plausible explanation for why Dean befriended a witch that Sam and Cas didn't know because it would have taken a large number of encounters for him to look over the "witch" part, and there was no way he had been doing that and managing to hide it from them.</p><p>Resigned to agreeing with Sam, Cas let out a big sigh. "That's not the biggest lie he told, Sam."</p><p>"What?! What is?!"</p><p>"Sam, take a moment and consider exactly how much time has passed in your life."</p><p>"Rude."</p><p>"I'm serious. Are you aware that I have known the two of you for eleven years?"</p><p>Sam's eyes widened. "Wow, I guess I never really counted it out before. But what does that…" Sam's face went white. "Cas, how old was that girl?"</p><p>The angel pursed his lips, glad that he didn't have to spell out his intentions. "From my knowledge of humanity, I'd say twenty-two, maybe twenty-three."</p><p>Sam sank into the nearest chair. "My god, Cas. If Dean met her during college, she would have been anywhere between four and seven years old."</p><p>"That seems unlikely."</p><p>"Does it? Does that seem 'unlikely' to you, Cas?" Sam chastised sarcastically. He began to rub his temple. "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm just… ugh!"</p><p>Cas sat down opposite him, folding his hands together. "There's something not right about all of this," he murmured.</p><p>Now sitting at the table, Sam was reminded of their conversation from that morning. "You remember what you told me earlier? About that… emptiness you feel when Dean is inaccessible? What does that mean now that he's back?"</p><p>The angel furrowed his brow, having ignored the feeling earlier. "Well, when we were getting gas a couple hours ago, it seemed to disappear. The emptiness was gone." Catching Sam's look of incredulity, Cas raised his arms. "But I'm not jumping to conclusions here; I might have just been overreacting. Dean is clearly here and fine. Better even than he was yesterday when he left!"</p><p>Sam rolled his eyes. "Please, I don't know how he reacted when you first saw him, but when I came in, he stared at me like he saw a ghost. That doesn't scream 'fine'." Sam leaned across the table. "Tell me, Cas, I wasn't there, but how normally did Dean greet you today?"</p><p>"He may have been a tad… out of character."</p><p>"Which means…"</p><p>"He… hugged me… and he wasn't very emotionally stable. He was… shaking? I guess?" Cas admitted. "I'll admit that something is going on with him, but what exactly are we supposed to do about it? Shouldn't we just be happy that he's here and not dead? Shouldn't you be happy that my proclamation that he may be dead was dramatic and shortsighted?"</p><p>The hunter huffed, leaning back in his seat. "Of course, I am. But he is definitely not okay."</p><p>-</p><p>It was late that night, and Castiel was wandering the halls of the bunker. Though he didn't sleep, he did usually stay holed up in his room through the night, but he couldn't do that after his long, still night the day before waiting for Dean.</p><p>Sam was right, unfortunately. Dean didn't reemerge after showing Mia her room; he went into his room and locked the door. He wasn't acting like himself, and it made Cas a bit uncomfortable. It didn't seem right; it seemed so… fake. He had been hoping to get Dean back and have nothing happen to him. He was hoping Dean was going to stroll through the door with his broken leg trailing behind him, telling some long, convoluted story about how he wanted some air and got sidetracked at a bar.</p><p>At least then, he might not have seemed so… distant.</p><p>Cas was happy, maybe a little too pleased that Dean had hugged him when he came home. He was a bit embarrassed to admit it, but when Dean hugged him, the angel felt his cheeks flush red, and he felt the returning warmth in his sternum flare up into an intense heat burning inside his chest. He wanted to continue that embrace for the rest of eternity, pretending the emptiness in his chest had never been there, but alas, that could not be.</p><p>He hadn't wanted to argue with Sam so much, he really did respect Sam, and currently, he agreed with him, but he genuinely didn't want what Sam was saying to be true. It wasn't fair because Cas had worried enough. He didn't want to worry anymore.</p><p>Maybe he would always worry. Perhaps that was a problem.</p><p>Cas was very surprised to see the stranger, Mia, sitting in the kitchen when he walked in. She raised her head when she spotted the angel, and she sent him a big smile and beckoned him to come over, which Cas did hesitantly.</p><p>If Dean trusted her, she was trustworthy, but considering Dean lied about how he knew her, Castiel was still a little concerned and confused. But he calmed his nerves, settling on the understanding that whoever she may be, she was important enough for Dean to leave without a goodbye to find and/or help.</p><p>"Mia, am I correct?" Cas noted while sitting opposite her at the table, holding out his hand for her to shake.</p><p>She took it heartily, still beaming. "You must be Castiel! It's truly amazing to meet you. To meet both of you," she remarked cheerfully.</p><p>Castiel realized that this may be a perfect opportunity to do some investigating, seeing if she would maybe slip up or tell him something that might be telling.</p><p>He tapped his fingers on the table. "So, Mia, how do you know Dean?"</p><p>Mia narrowed her eyes at Cas. "You're like a human lie detector, right? That's something Dean has told me about angels."</p><p>Dammit. "Do you have something you were going to lie about?"</p><p>She shrugged. "My life's been pretty uncomplicated. I've spent the last few years, mostly reading through my witchcraft books."</p><p>Hmm, that was true, but it was vague. "You didn't tell me how you and Dean met."</p><p>Mia nodded slowly, still staring at the angel as if inviting him to read her mind. "A mutual friend introduced us. He took it upon himself to help me out a bit before we came to an… arrangement of sorts."</p><p>Her bait to chase the angel off her scent worked magically, as his face displayed his curiosity. "What arrangement?"</p><p>Mia bit back a victorious smirk, wishing Dean were here to see how well she was deflecting. "That's a secret. But let's just say, my half of the deal was to stay out of this hunting lifestyle and basically do whatever he asked of me."</p><p>Cas narrowed his eyes at the stranger, who was more and more confusing with every word. "I see you aren't holding up your end of the deal."</p><p>"Well, right now, he isn't holding up his end either. So I think after six years of listening to him, he needs to start being the one contributing to our deal."</p><p>Unbeknownst to her, Mia's moment of complete transparency did accidentally spill something, specifically the fact that she said they'd had this deal for the last six years.</p><p>"I think I should apologize for Dean's odd behavior today," Mia spoke again, regaining Cas's attention.</p><p>"What does that mean?"</p><p>"Has anyone ever told you that you have a profoundly deep voice? Like wow!"</p><p>"Mia."</p><p>"Right, sorry," she winced a little bit as though she had just genuinely gotten carried away being distracted by his voice. "I'm not proud of it, but I put him in some serious danger last night. When he rescued me from the nest, he almost died." She decided to recall the true story of how Dean and Lucifer met so that Cas couldn't read her mind and see she was lying. "A particularly nasty vamp sunk his claws into Dean's leg, the broken one, and ripped out a chunk of flesh, and left him to bleed out… and that's when I stepped in and healed the whole thing! But he seriously almost died."</p><p>Mia worded her story very carefully; she would wait until something she said, distracted the angel by causing genuine concern and used that moment of distraction to slip in the lies. She was pretty proud of herself for that one.</p><p>Cas wasn't sure he believed her, but there were definitely bits of truth in her story. He had been paying close enough attention to particular bits to tell their accuracy, specifically the vampire tearing into Dean's already broken leg and the fact that he almost died, which was incredibly alarming. Cas had to fight the urge to get up and run to Dean's room just to see that he was okay and alive.</p><p>"I suppose I owe you thanks then," Cas said, sounding almost embarrassed for interrogating her even though there were still obviously some lies she was telling. When she cocked her head in confusion, he added, "for saving Dean's life, I mean."</p><p>"Oh no, definitely not," Mia added quickly. "Dean has done so much for me; nothing I could ever do would warrant any thanks from other people." She smiled, looking distantly, as though she remembered something fondly. "He really is worth it, don't you think?"</p><p>Cas was caught off guard by the question. "Of course he is," he answered, looking at her like she was an alien.</p><p>What a stupid question. What a horrible, terrible, wretched question. As if Dean could ever not be worth it. As if he could ever not be worth everything to him.</p><p>Mia might have picked up on this as she decided now was probably the best time to leave this conversation before the inquisitive angel could get anything out of her.</p><p>She simply stood up and stretched, yawning wildly before tossing back a "night, Castiel."

Cas stayed in the kitchen for a while, unsure what to do with what he got from her. Six years ago… what happened six years ago?</p><p>Castiel was human six years ago. Dean might have actually had ample time to meet new people back then.</p><p>Before he could actually consider the possibilities, he felt a shiver at a presence having suddenly appeared behind him.</p><p>Slowly he reached for his blade, concealed within his trench coat, but a voice began to speak, distracting him.</p><p>"No need for that, Castiel," the voice was that of a woman's; it was deep and smooth. He turned slowly to see a woman in a suit with brown skin and jet black hair that was curled beautifully.

She stood with a firm posture, and Cas didn't exactly need to try to be able to see her proper angelic form beneath her vessel. It was definitely more potent than most angels he had encountered recently, with a striking pair of full wings.</p><p>Cas took a step back, but she only smiled at him. "Who are you?" Castiel inquired, his voice dangerously low.</p><p>"I surmise that we have never met," she said while taking a step toward him, negating the distance he had attempted to put between them. She held out her arm for him to shake. "My name is Ruth."</p><p>Cas raised an eyebrow, his intimidation faltering under the barrage of questions he had. "That isn't right. Ruth died centuries ago."</p><p>She withdrew her hand and put it on her hip instead. "Well, clearly I'm here, Castiel."</p><p>He nodded apprehensively. "Okay, then why are you here?"</p><p>Something was unsettling about Ruth. Every fiber of her being exuded confidence and power, and he knew nothing about her. But apparently, she knew enough about Cas to know his name and where to find him.</p><p>Ruth tapped her foot impatiently. "I'm here to ask for your help, Castiel. Some angels want to get their hands on Dean Winchester, and I would like to stop that from happening if at all possible."</p><p>Castiel's eyes grew wide, confused, and shocked. "There aren't even enough angels left to cause him any harm; why would they want to?"</p><p>She crossed her arms, and Cas could tell that her patient was wearing thin if it hadn't already been this entire conversation. "You didn't know I existed until a minute ago. Would you like to bet Dean Winchester's life on your faulty knowledge?" Noting Castiel's embarrassed glance, she continued. "Listen, some powerful beings are having a bit of a row at the moment, and Dean is small fish. So, I propose an agreement."</p><p>"What kind of agreement?"</p><p>"He's messing with things he does not understand. So I simply ask that you report any suspicious activity to me. If he mentions anything about a key, or if you ever believe that he is communicating with someone, tell me."</p><p>"What does 'communicating with someone' even mean? Your requests are trivial and vague."</p><p>"So you should have no problem agreeing then," she reasoned. "Think about it, alright?"</p><p>Cas eyed her suspiciously but nodded firmly. She flew away, leaving Castiel alone in the kitchen once again.</p><p>What had Dean gotten wrapped up in?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're getting back to our main witch Max Banes in the next chapter! (I honestly really liked him in the show and wish he had been introduced earlier :/ )</p><p>ALSO! There will be a one day delay before the next chapter because I won't have internet tomorrow, but don't worry the chapter will be up by Wednesday :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Coffee Cups</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean makes up his mind that they need to find Max Banes, and Sam finally believes that there's nothing wrong with Dean</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam was surprised to see his brother up in the early hours of the morning, sitting in the kitchen and drinking coffee.</p><p>Dean spotted his brother and smiled. "Morning, sleepyhead!" It was something he used to say to Kevin every morning.</p><p>"Sleepy-head? Dean, it's 5AM. And you're never up before noon when we don't have plans." He froze halfway to the table. "Do we have plans?"</p><p>Indeed, Dean did have plans. He had just hung up with Luc, hearing about their progress. Lucifer and Kevin booked a room at a nice hotel with Dean's card and express permission, and Luc had been attempting to fly around discreetly, collecting the materials he'd need to build the box. Once he had the materials, the two would move into one of Rufus' old cabins so that they could work discreetly and with privacy, and they'd probably be moved in by the end of the week, if not the end of the day.</p><p>They left Luc and Kevin with the three keys, the vial of water, the archangel blade, and the necklace. But Lucifer refused to start searching for the next key until Dean got some time off, some time to focus on being okay being back home, time to readjust.</p><p>But Dean didn't want to "take time for himself", there was too much to be done, he couldn't waste any time focusing on himself.</p><p>Just because Luc didn't want to look for the key didn't mean that Dean was stranded with nothing to do.</p><p>He had to find Max Banes.</p><p>It had been six years since he even saw Max, and during that time, he had periodically wondered about what might have happened to him. There was a chance that Max was completely fine, but considering he hadn't popped by to ask what the hell happened to Dean yesterday, he was growing more and more concerned that Chuck had done something.</p><p>"No plans, I'm just… awake," Dean smiled at his brother before getting up to make Sam a cup of coffee. Sam raised his eyebrows at the act but didn't comment.</p><p>The last six years hadn't made him forget how he used to be, he just wasn't exactly the same person he was then, and he saw no benefit in pretending none of those smaller changes happened because it just wouldn't sit right.</p><p>He knew how sloppy and terrible his lying had been yesterday, and he knew that his emotions gave them plenty of cause for suspicion. He still wasn't going to be perfect, he spent a couple of hours crying in the shower last night after all, but he wanted today to be better. And he figured it would be more believable to act out his changes and let them wonder why he was doing different things than it would be to pretend to be exactly like he was when he left because that would just add an extra layer of fakeness and trying-too-hard-ness.</p><p>"So Sam," Dean started speaking while facing away from his brother, messing with the coffee pot. "I got a call from Max Banes yesterday."</p><p>"Was that before or after you got a call from Mia and ditched us?" Sam snapped, not expecting to sound so angry; it was just too early in the morning for him to let his brother off the hook.</p><p>Dean stiffened but didn't take the bait. "Well, it was before I broke my phone," he added pointedly, but without spite, considering this was all a big lie, so he didn't have any right to get angry with his brother. "But he was really vague. He said he was in Kansas, and there was something wrong, but he hung up really quickly. Could you try calling him? He isn't responding to my calls, and I just want to make sure he's okay."</p><p>The lie was clearly believable enough because Sam furrowed his brow, confused, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Now that you mention it, I actually had a handful of missed calls from him yesterday, but I was so distracted looking for my dumbass brother that I didn't pay them much attention."</p><p>Dean snorted and sat back down, pushing the new mug of coffee across the table to Sam, who gave him a small grateful smile as he scrolled through his contacts.</p><p>He put the phone on speaker, and the two brothers just sat, drinking their coffee, listening to it ring.</p><p>Even though it was tense for Dean considering the situation, he felt oddly happy in that position. It was calm and quiet, and it was just him and his brother again, something he had missed for a long time.</p><p>It went to voicemail, so Sam hung up and called again. This time right before what was probably going to be the final ring, a female voice picked up the phone.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>Sam and Dean shared a confused look. "Uh, is Max there?" Sam asked cautiously.</p><p>"I'm a nurse at Jewell County Hospital; Max Banes was admitted to care two nights ago after being involved in a car accident."</p><p>Dean's blood chilled. A car accident sounded like just that, an accident, but there were too many factors involved in his own disappearance for him to believe that was true. He suspected that Chuck might find a way to hurt Max, and suddenly Max gets into a car accident? That couldn't be a coincidence.</p><p>"We haven't been able to contact any next of kin. I was hoping that you were calling Mr. Banes because you know him…?"</p><p>Sam cleared his throat; he too looked shocked. "Yeah… yes. Yes, I'm a family friend. Is he going to be okay?"</p><p>"I'm afraid I cannot disclose any personal information over the phone. If you would like, you can come to the hospital. Is there anyone that we should contact for Mr. Banes?"</p><p>Sam shook his head. "No, he recently lost both his mother and sister. Those are the only family members I know of."</p><p>"Thank you for your time," the nurse said with a sense of finality, and the phone was quickly hung up.</p><p>Dean stood from his chair and walked over to the doorframe, gripping it tightly and trying not to punch the wall in anger. "Dammit!" He shouted, startling Sam in his seat.</p><p>Sam stood up and walked over to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay," he attempted to calm his brother while trying to hide his own look of incredulity at Dean's intense reaction. "Let's go see him and find out what happened."</p><p>Dean shook his head, a dark look on his face. "This wasn't an accident. You have to know that; why the hell else did he call us both yesterday? He said something was wrong, and I couldn't do anything!" The words were coming from an honest place. He knew that this wasn't an accident, but mainly because Chuck had admitted to using Max as bait, and Dean didn't trust God for one second.</p><p>"We're going to go to that hospital to find out what happened first, okay?" Sam was simultaneously desperately trying to calm his brother down and understand why this was bothering him so much. Yeah, Max was a great kid, but why did Dean act like this was so personal? There wasn't really a way to stop a car accident, and even if he was right and this was more, what could they have done? "Why don't you go find Mia? We might need a witch with her freaky healing powers," Sam suggested almost reluctantly. "She did wonders on you," he added before patting Dean on the back and leaving to go find Cas.</p><p>Cas was in his room with the door open, and Sam just walked right in. "Hello, Sam."</p><p>"We've got a situation, Cas. We need to go to the hospital."</p><p>Cas shot up from the bed. "Is Dean alright?!" He asked with a panicked tone in his voice. It might have been comical to Sam if Dean hadn't been stressing him out so much that Cas's worry just made him extra sad and frustrated.</p><p>"Dean's fine, it's this friend of ours, a witch named Max Banes. Apparently, he was in an accident, so we're going to go see what's up because Dean thinks it wasn't just an accident."</p><p>Cas cocked his head. "Why does he believe that?"</p><p>Sam shrugged, his annoyance with his brother's change in the last day only building with every conversation he had with him or about him. "Apparently, he called him yesterday with some cryptic worry, and Dean's convinced something was out to get him or something." He sighed and leaned against Cas's door. "I didn't get anything out of him yet."</p><p>Cas sent him a sympathetic smile. "Fortunately, I got something from Mia last night," he admitted, having decided not to mention his late-night rendezvous with an angel he previously assumed was dead.</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"She told me that Dean almost died while rescuing her, and she was telling the truth."</p><p>Sam perked up, looking a bit more worried but also a bit more hopeful. "Could that be why he's acting so weird?"</p><p>"Maybe, but it doesn't explain his constant contradictions and lies. That was something else she said that stuck with me; she said that she'd been listening to him for 'the last six years'."</p><p>Sam paused, thinking back to what happened six years ago. "That would have been around the time that… oh my god."</p><p>"What is it, Sam?"</p><p>"Six years ago, I was possessed by Gadreel."</p><p>They were both very quiet, and Sam crossed the room to sit on the bed beside Castiel. They both stared straight forward, not knowing what to say. Cas was contemplating how much more suspicious he was becoming of Dean after his brief and strange meeting with Ruth, and Sam was beginning to question if he ever needed to be wary of his brother at all.</p><p>Finally, Sam broke the silence. "Maybe… maybe we were too quick to be suspicious." He shuddered at the memories of the rift that his angel possession had torn between him and his brother. "I spent a lot of time blacked out when Gadreel took control and ran off, and even more time away from him when we were fighting as a consequence of Gadreel's actions."</p><p>Cas nodded somberly. "I was human. I worked at a gas station. I hardly would have been around."</p><p>Sam curled his fists in frustration. "But even if that's true, if he had ample time to meet Mia back then, six years ago, why lie about it?"</p><p>"Perhaps he didn't want to be judged because of the things that happened. I know it was incredibly tense between you both at the time, and Dean felt guilty about his actions for a very long time. He probably still does," Cas pointed out. "Or perhaps he doesn't want to even think of that time. After all, that was when…"</p><p>Silence fell between them again.</p><p>"Kevin died," Sam whispered. They continued to stare straight forward at the wall, neither looking at each other.</p><p>Sam wrestled with thinking, had they really just been dramatic this whole time? Was Dean actually okay, and nothing weird had happened in the last twenty-four hours; he just happened to have bad timing?</p><p>"I suppose," Cas broke the silence again, "if Dean did meet and befriend Mia six years ago, she would have been sixteen, which makes a lot more sense and isn't odd for witches. And if he met her while you were fighting, then I can not necessarily be surprised that they became fast friends. And I am not surprised that he would keep that from us."</p><p>Sam cleared his throat and stood back up, awkwardly smoothing the wrinkles in his jeans. "Well, we should go; Dean and Mia are probably in the car already." He paused before exiting the room and turned back to Cas. "There has to be something else, right?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Dean has to be lying to us about something, for a real reason. Because I don't want to think that I… I don't know, made this whole thing up or something," he finished with a loud sigh. "I trust Dean more than anyone. So why was I so quick to be suspicious of him?"</p><p>Cas finally stood, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. "I think we both were so worried that when he came home, we just got… angry. Maybe we should have given him the benefit of the doubt…?"</p><p>Sam nodded and shot Cas a sad smile as they walked out to meet Dean and Mia in the main room.</p><p>The angel didn't believe what he was saying, but Sam did, and he knew that. Truthfully, after Ruth visited him last night, Castiel knew for a fact that there was something strange going on with Dean, but he wasn't sure he wanted to tell Sam. What if he was utterly off-base again like he was yesterday morning?</p><p>He told Sam something meaningful and personal that ended up meaning nothing in the long run. He told him about the emptiness in his chest, but Dean was here, alive and fine. If he had overreacted that much then, then maybe this was just another overreaction, and he couldn't burden Sam with more worries for his brother if he was just now trusting him again.</p><p>He had been wrong about the emptiness he felt. It's not like Dean actually died, or was sent through time, or was god-forbid in another universe. How crazy would that have been?</p><p>-</p><p>Sam turned in his seat to talk to the witch he knew nothing about in an attempt to make up for his quick judgment of both her and his brother in the last day.</p><p>"So, Mia, how'd you get into witchcraft?"</p><p>Mia looked up from her fixed stare out her window, lost in thought. "Well, I made a promise to Dean, and I completely changed my life's path. I wanted to be a hunter, but he thought that was a terrible idea," she shot Dean a humorous glance through the mirror. "But he couldn't keep me out of the life completely, and I started reading through witchcraft books for a while. They were fascinating!" She added genuinely, more for Dean's benefit.</p><p>It really was an odd situation. Sam and Cas knew one story and Dean and Mia knew another. So technically, none of what she said had been a lie, she did make a promise not to hunt, and she read through a ton of witchcraft books in her first year of research trying to find Dean a way home. And she did find them interesting.</p><p>"And Dean, you were just cool with that?" Sam asked, slightly accusationally.</p><p>Dean shrugged, still staring out the windshield, still reveling in driving his car once more. "I wouldn't say I was thrilled, but if there's anything Rowena taught me, it's that witches have their good sides. Though I don't think I'll ever categorize Mia as a witch," he added pointedly.</p><p>"How did you two meet?" Cas couldn't help but pry. He asked Mia a similar question last night, but now that all four of them were trapped in the same vehicle.</p><p>Mia and Dean shared a glance in the mirror, and for a second, they almost looked panicked, but Mia's expression turned dark and sad in a second.</p><p>"Dean was there for me when my mother died," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Dean's nonchalant expression fell as she spoke, a look that was dark and angry.</p><p>Dean wasn't surprised that Mia would group in their "meeting" as the night Ruth's angels attacked. It was a short, succinct explanation that wouldn't tempt any probing questions considering the topic's sensitivity.</p><p>And it worked, Cas and Sam both looked out their respective windows, looking incredibly guilty. Dean was beginning to wonder if something happened between when Dean spoke to Sam that morning and when they got to the car. He thought this because Sam had been walking on eggshells around him the entire ride, always acting friendly and being careful with what he would say, not at all the angry, suspicious man that Sam technically had every right to be.</p><p>Dean was dreading when Mia would actually leave the bunker because she had been serving as a buffer. Once Mia was gone, he wouldn't be able to escape some of the questions his family rightfully had. But for now, he would simply be happy that they wouldn't dare ask any questions about her dead mother.</p><p>When they arrived at the hospital, Dean pushed Sam and Cas forward to go ask about Max, but Mia grabbed his arm before he could follow them.</p><p>"I'm sorry that-"</p><p>"Don't apologize," Dean interrupted with a sympathetic smile. "Truthfully, I wish I actually had been there for you when she died."</p><p>Mia shook her head. "You did everything you could; I closed myself off. That was my decision. I don't know if you've noticed, Dean, but I'm actually an adult now. And I make my own choices that you don't get to blame yourself for, okay?" She squeezed his hand quickly, and they walked over to Sam and Cas.</p><p>A nurse was just walking away, and they had started to follow him, so Dean and Mia caught up. "They're showing us to his room," Cas supplied.</p><p>When they arrived, a doctor was walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "These people are here for Mr. Banes," the nurse told the doctor as Dean looked around the people in front of him and tried to see into the room.</p><p>"Ah, thank you," she dismissed the man and turned her attention to the visitors. "Mr. Banes is in pretty bad condition. At the moment, I cannot say with clarity that he will recover. We aren't sure how his accident occurred as there were no other cars at the scene, but there was a single witness who thought she saw someone standing by the wreckage."</p><p>Dean took a sharp inhale, unsure of what that meant. "Did the witness say what he looked like?"</p><p>The doctor cocked her head slightly. "Yes, you're right that it was a man," she added matter-of-factly, highlighting the fact that Dean already knew the gender as she eyed him suspiciously. "However, I'm afraid any other details were shared with the police who arrived on the scene."</p><p>"Can we see him?" Sam asked, ignoring his suspicions about Dean's gender-assumption, considering he had just decided to stop being so suspicious of his brother.</p><p>The doctor gave them a small smile. "Yes, but I'm afraid he won't be responsive. We have him on life support, but until we can do any further testing, we do not have a genuine grasp on the state that he's in. He's in a medically induced coma until we can discover the extent of any brain damage or other head trauma he may have been victim to."</p><p>She opened the door again and let the four of them stumble through, everyone seemingly wanting to go in at the same time. "Let's only have two at a time, please!" She protested, halting them in their tracks.</p><p>Dean grabbed both Sam and Cas's shoulders. "Why don't I take Mia inside first?" He sent them a knowing stare, implying that Mia would attempt to heal him or at least know the extent to which she would need to heal him.</p><p>Sam and Cas picked up on this and simply nodded, letting them through while Mia closed the door behind them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay so Max wasn't TECHNICALLY in the chapter, but I think it counts because I finally revealed what happened, so don't you worry about our boy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Factory Fires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While in the hospital with Max, Dean prompts Lucifer to see what would have happened if they didn't come home...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Long chapter ahead... Lucifer will see into another timeline in this one (aka the six years that Sam and Cas would have lost when Dean came home six years early) and the section is marked off by boxes... please leave a comment if the transitions were confusing and I will attempt to fix them!</p><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The room felt eerily quiet and unsettling, mimicking the feeling in Dean's stomach. The lights were off, but the wall to his right was lined with large windows, letting in the sunlight that turned everything dimly blue and added to the silent atmosphere. The only noise that came from the room was the pats of their feet slapping across the cold linoleum floor and the steady beeping of the machines Max was hooked up to.</p><p>Dean hadn't seen Max in years, honestly even longer than six years. He hadn't exactly seen Max's face the day that Dean disappeared, and he had only seen him twice before. Once at the gathering for Asa Fox's funeral and once because his sister called them, worried about their mother.</p><p>During Dean's time away, he regretfully forgot what Max even looked like. Lucifer and everyone else had assured him that it was only natural to lose your memory of certain people's faces after a lot of time apart, but it did little to appease his guilt over it anyway.</p><p>Now looking at the practically lifeless figure in the hospital bed, he welcomed the memory of Max's face like an old friend, as if he had never forgotten it at all.</p><p>They walked up to his bed, close enough so that no one in the hallway could see them anymore, and Mia let out a breath.</p><p>"Dean, you do know that I'm not actually a witch, right?!" She hissed at him, looking more than a bit frightened and concerned.</p><p>Dean just rolled his eyes at her, enough to settle her slightly. "I think you forget our unique situation here," he said before shutting his eyes.</p><p>Mia was going to say something and ask what he was doing, wondering why he decided to punctuate his thought by squeezing his eyes shut, but any questions she had were answered when Lucifer suddenly appeared by one of the windows.</p><p>No words were exchanged as Lucifer quickly wrapped Dean in a hug, which Dean graciously accepted. Luc had always been in tune with his own emotions in the past. Still, everyone was aware that there was a change now that they were in Dean's world, so Lucifer greeting the hunter with a hug after seeing him only a day ago and talking to him on the phone that morning was hardly a surprise.</p><p>The archangel fretted over the boy in the bed without prompting and understood exactly what he was here to do. Max seemed to have many broken bones across his arms and cuts and bruises lined with butterfly bandages or stitches on his face. It was obvious that he was in a pretty bad state, and it honestly looked like he survived a bomb going off.</p><p>Still without a word, Lucifer put his hands over Max's body, and the healing light radiated from them once more. All of the visible injuries on the young man seemed to fade away, and his body eased up, looking more settled and relaxed, though he was still asleep.</p><p>"He'll be alright," Lucifer said finally. "He'll wake up momentarily."</p><p>Dean blew out a breath. "That's wonderful, thanks, Luc." He walked beside him and threw an arm around his friend's shoulder, half setting his weight upon him. He was exhausted and relieved, and he'd had a taxing couple of days, so as always, it was wonderful to have Lucifer by his side.</p><p>The archangel smiled at him. "Of course, Dean," he supplied while giving his hand a quick squeeze.</p><p>Mia plopped herself in one of the two chairs to the right of the bed, it's back facing the window. Dean did the same in the chair beside her, making pained grunting sounds as his body moved as though he'd been through a rough fight only moments ago, and he sat with his legs slightly sprawled with the worst posture he could manage.</p><p>After a moment where the three of them were catching their breath, eyeing Max contently, the hunter stared at his powerful friend thoughtfully. "Is there any way for you to see what happened in the other time?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" Lucifer asked, caught off guard by Dean's left-field query.</p><p>"I want to know if I didn't come back to this time specifically, what happened to him? What happened to Max when I spent six years over there?"</p><p>Lucifer chewed his lip awkwardly. In fact, he did have that ability and had alluded to it a handful of times in the two years since he first brought up the time travel solution. He could see what happened to Sam and Cas, or really anyone from this world at any point in the six years that Dean was in Lucifer's own world, but did Dean really want to know? It never came to be, so it isn't important any longer.</p><p>If he were to do this, he would have to brace himself to see things he was not supposed to have seen and learn things about Dean's family that he didn't know before. Regardless, he loved him, and he owed him enough to at least check. So he simply nodded, barely noticing Dean's wide-eyed anticipation before he closed his eyes, searching for what would have happened had Dean not returned home yesterday.</p><p>■</p><p>The emptiness persisted in Castiel's chest as Sam drove the truck back to the bunker.</p><p>They had been searching for him or the Impala all day, and frankly, they were both a little more than exhausted. Sam headed straight inside when they returned, but Cas loitered in the garage a little longer, walking around the edges in its entirety.</p><p>He was more than a little embarrassed that Sam basically saw him have an emotional breakdown at the gas station. He knew it was natural and that Sam didn't find it strange, but it was a conversation he didn't want to have.</p><p>He finally walked inside, and no one was there in the front room. Sam had probably gone off to his room or the kitchen, which was a bit of a relief. Sam was pretty emotionally intelligent, and he knew when to back off and leave people alone, which the angel was incredibly appreciative of at the current moment.</p><p>Castiel didn't go down the stairs; he instead just stared into the area below while gripping the iron railing at the top of the steps. He didn't like this situation one bit. There was something wrong, something incredibly life-shattering and wrong.</p><p>He was okay, wasn't he? He was going to be fine, and Dean would come home. Cas had to be okay so that when Dean did come home, he wouldn't be worried about the angel who had apparently fallen apart in his short absence.</p><p>It had only been a day. A little over a day, but still. What if Dean decided to disappear for weeks?</p><p>What if he hadn't DECIDED to do anything at all? What if he really was hurt or dead or gone?</p><p>What if he was out there somewhere, unable to move on his broken leg, crying out for help, and Castiel couldn't hear him because his powers were failing? What if he thought Cas was ignoring him or abandoning him and what if he hated him for it or-</p><p>The loud crack woke him from his thoughts and brought him back to reality, and he glanced down only to see that he had snapped one of the iron sections of the railing clean in half.</p><p>"Shit," he mumbled as he tried to line up the two split sides at the point of the break. Thankfully it only broke in one place; otherwise, he would be holding a completely separate piece right now.</p><p>Castiel figured that was enough panicking and overthinking for one day and decided to hide in his room, where he would hopefully not break anything until morning.</p><p>Except morning came, rather quickly, and he had broken things; he had broken many, many things.</p><p>He spent the entire night wondering and worrying and applying his stupid worst-case-scenarios, and it was not doing him any favors.</p><p>He needed a moment, a reprieve from all of this. He knew the only reason he was so upset was because of this damn feeling in his chest. He had gone days, weeks, months without Dean by his side before, and it had been fine. Not ideal, certainly not happy or fun, but fine, because he knew Dean was alive out there somewhere, but the emptiness that continued chewing its way through his body was trying to scare him more than was necessary.</p><p>At one point in his hellish evening, he actually went to sleep, something he rarely did, just so that he could get his moment of peace.</p><p>He opened his eyes in what he recognized was a dream, which was even more surprising, but for the first time since Dean disappeared, he felt at peace.</p><p>He was floating in a river, staring up at the stars above him. There were silhouettes of trees passing by above him as well, alerting him of his slow drift.</p><p>He rolled his head to the left, getting his hair wet in the process, but it was worth it. Dean was floating just beside him, also on his back, staring wide-eyed into the night sky. It seemed as though he didn't even notice Cas floating beside him, but the angel was just as content to stare at him happily and silently.</p><p>Sam was also lying on his back, floating down the river on the opposite side of Dean. He was the first one to say anything.</p><p>"Hey Cas, you know a lot about stars, right?"</p><p>"I was there right after when they were made, so yes," he responded, still not taking his eyes off of Dean. Something about his face glowing just above the water lapping at his ears, highlighted by the bright moonlight, it was breathtaking. He could stare at him all day.</p><p>"Tell us a story about one of the constellations, Cas," Sam requested.</p><p>Castiel loved the stories he knew about creation, so he began to talk about one that Sam pointed out, but he wasn't looking at the stars; he was looking at Dean, who was looking at the stars.</p><p>"Are you even paying attention to what he's saying, Dean?" Sam's indignant voice popped up again.</p><p>Cas wanted to reprimand him and tell him that Dean didn't need to listen, but no words came out. It was like he wasn't even controlling his own actions.</p><p>"Of course not," Dean muttered, but he didn't turn to look at his brother when he answered. In fact, he hadn't looked at either of them. There was something off about that; he knew it.</p><p>"Dean, we have an actual angel who's seen so much of history, who knows about everything in creation. You could at least pretend to be interested!" Sam criticized again.</p><p>A smile formed on Dean's lips, and Cas had never in his life wanted to kiss anyone as much as he did at that moment. Just the thought made his face get hot, and his skin turn red, even though he knew Dean couldn't see him, let alone hear his thoughts, but he still felt embarrassed.</p><p>"I'm not as much of a nerd as the two of you," Dean replied, but this time it genuinely worried the angel. There was something weak about his voice. Hell, there was something weak about his frame and his being as a whole. He looked about one second from slipping under the surface of the water.</p><p>Still, Castiel felt compelled to say something about the topic, though he wanted to ask Dean if he was okay. "Sam, no miracle I could ever accomplish would convince Dean that nature is interesting," he said, almost as though he hadn't been the one to say it at all.</p><p>But it made Dean laugh, and that's all he wanted. He just wanted to make him laugh and smile, and he wanted to hold onto him and never let go and tell him, just fucking tell him how he felt about him, but he couldn't.</p><p>"Okay, fine, Cas, you guys win, tell me about… that one," Dean's hand lifted weakly into the sky, pointing at the cluster of stars that Castiel could in no way discern what it was he was explicitly pointing at.</p><p>But just as Dean moved his head to face Cas, the angel found himself staring up at the ceiling in his bedroom, having disappeared before Dean could make eye contact.</p><p>Castiel shot up from his bed, distressed and panicking, wondering where Dean went and why he wasn't in the river anymore, but he settled as he felt the edges of his coat and realized that he was completely dry.</p><p>Needless to say, he did not find dreaming to be a kind experience.</p><p>It did seem a bit strange, however, because it didn't feel like a dream. Sure, floating along a river staring up at the stars wasn't an experience grounded in reality, but Castiel thought that if it was his dream, he wouldn't have pictured Dean so pale and weak-sounding.</p><p>The angel spent the rest of the night and well into the late morning sitting on his bed and staring at the wall, rubbing circles into his sternum in hopes of creating some friction that would fill the empty hole in his chest.</p><p>-</p><p>Sam was elsewhere in the bunker, trying not to panic. He knew that Cas was scared, and that was honestly what scared him the most.</p><p>Dean was always a private person. He would tell the entire world about something before he'd tell his brother, and that had always made Sam pretty pissed, and this situation was likely the same thing.</p><p>The main reason that Sam was extra angry at Dean this time was because he was leaving behind some genuine damage. There was something incredibly morally wrong about what Dean was doing to Cas. That angel loved him more than anything in the world, and yet Dean still left him behind to worry about him and wonder if he was even alive.</p><p>That "emptiness" that Castiel described wasn't boding well. Sam wanted to just be angry at his brother so that he didn't have to consider that maybe Dean didn't want to leave them like this because maybe Dean was dead.</p><p>He didn't want to think that. He had lived through what it was like when Dean was dead, and he would do anything not to do it again. Not to live through that feeling again. Honestly, he'd rather just be in hell.</p><p>Sam checked the time on his phone. It was a little after noon, and Sam had been sleeping on and off for the past twelve hours, draped gracelessly over the kitchen table.</p><p>While looking at his phone, he remembered the notifications he got two days ago when Dean first disappeared. This was the first moment that he had with his brain not wholly consumed with worries about his brother, so he decided to check the missed calls.</p><p>Two days ago, Max had called him three times, but every time he called, Sam had still been trying Dean's cell. Sam didn't bother calling him back because he was so worried about his brother, but he figured he owed Max a callback, considering Sam was the one who asked Max to come to Kansas to heal Dean anyway.</p><p>That was… odd. Wait a moment, why exactly hadn't Max come by at some point in the last two days? From what he heard previously, Max was due to be in Lebanon when Dean disappeared, so why hadn't he dropped by?</p><p>A sick feeling festered in his stomach as he dialed the number and listened to the phone ring.</p><p>-</p><p>Castiel was startled back into reality when his bedroom door flung open, slamming against the wall and causing him to jump and the sound and flinch at the sudden light that poured in from the hallway. The light was framing the silhouette of a very tall man clutching a phone and holding it up in the air.</p><p>"Cas, we need to go. I just got off the phone with the hospital."</p><p>Cas was immediately on his feet. "Is it Dean?"</p><p>Sam's crazed worry that he had faltered a bit, with Castiel's words slightly reminding him that it could be worse. "No, it's the witch I called to help with Dean's leg. He's in the hospital after being in an accident, and I think we should go."</p><p>The angel cocked his head. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't want to sound heartless, but isn't Dean more of a priority at the moment?"</p><p>Sam sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "You don't have to come, Cas; I know you don't know him, but I don't think sitting here being sad or angry is doing either of us any favors."</p><p>He had a point. A good point, and he didn't like that. Wherever Dean was, whether he was safe and alive or god forbid dead, the last thing he would want was Cas just sulking around and freaking out.</p><p>So Cas stood up and gave the hunter a firm nod before following him out the door.</p><p>-</p><p>Sam hated hospitals. He always had, ever since he was a child. His father instilled that in him because his father knew that there were some injuries that you just can't explain to the doctors.</p><p>So Sam and Dean learned how to do their own stitches and how to swallow the pain.</p><p>Still, sometimes they would end up in the hospital anyway, but it usually meant bad things. He recalled being in the hospital many years ago when Dean was hurt and dying… well, that actually happened on several occasions, so the memories of those moments started blurring together.</p><p>He had been entirely willing to take Dean to a hospital when he first broke his leg, but Dean refused. Sam would not often offer the hospital as a solution, so he wondered if maybe that was a sign that they should have gone regardless.</p><p>The doctor led Sam and Cas inside of Max's hospital room. He was in bad shape, worse than Sam had been expecting, though quite honestly, he hadn't been expecting him to be excellent. All he got over the phone call was a vague message about a car accident.</p><p>Sam walked closer to his bed and examined his face closely. He knew that this was his fault. If he had just forced Dean to go to the hospital when he broke his leg, or even if he had just been patient enough to wait it out and not call for backup, Max wouldn't be here right now, unconscious, with a chance of never waking up.</p><p>"Is he… is he in pain?" Sam asked the doctor, his voice small and almost childlike, earning a clasp on his shoulder from the angel who had joined him by Max's bedside.</p><p>The doctor fidgeted with her clipboard slightly, but her professionalism didn't waver. "Not at the moment, though I fear what may happen if or when he wakes up," she admitted calmly.</p><p>Sam turned back to Max again, biting his lip. This reminded him of when his hunters from Apocalypse World died on his watch. It had hurt, and it felt like it was all his fault, and Max was his responsibility too.</p><p>The doctor took her leave, shutting the door behind her to give the men some privacy. She knew that this was basically going to be their goodbye to their friend, after all.</p><p>"Maybe I can try to do something," Cas suggested, raising his hands slightly to indicate what he was referring to.</p><p>Sam glanced at the broken kid in the bed. "I don't think it'll work, Cas. He's… practically already dead."</p><p>The angel leaned closer over the boy's body. He was definitely out of Castiel's reach at this point, but there was something left that he could do.</p><p>"I could wake him up."</p><p>"Come again?"</p><p>"You're right, I cannot heal him like I used to have the power to do, but I can wake him up. I'm not entirely sure if he'd have much time, however."</p><p>Sam continued staring at the kid beside him. His instinct was to tell Cas no, tell him to just leave him so that he could live just a little longer, but there was something he just couldn't shake.</p><p>Why did he never come to the bunker? The doctor told them when he had been taken into the hospital, and from her information, the accident would have occurred only thirty minutes from the bunker, but Max would have been there hours before the accident.</p><p>So why was he here? What was he hanging around all day, less than an hour from the bunker? Why had it kept him from going to the bunker, and why did he get into a car accident when he finally left? Was it just a coincidence?</p><p>Usually, he'd assume it was. A car accident is tragic but relatively inconspicuous and common. Not much supernatural about it at all.</p><p>But this was the same day Dean disappeared. Max was late; he called Sam a handful of times, and then suddenly got into an accident. From what he could piece together from both the doctor and the phone calls' timing, Max rolled into Lebanon before Dean disappeared, stopped somewhere, and then didn't get on the road again until after Dean disappeared. It was all too much to not be connected.</p><p>Though he could be acting completely insane and paranoid, he didn't want to take that chance. He knew that if Max knew something, he would want them to know.</p><p>Sam took in a deep breath and squeezed the unconscious kid's wrist. "Do it," he said sternly, locking eyes with the angel once more.</p><p>Castiel nodded back firmly and put his hands over Max's head. He felt the familiar brutal tug that his powers required these days, and he began to strain himself, working his way into Max's mind to bring him back up and out.</p><p>His consciousness was buried beneath his pain and trauma, but as Castiel moved his hand away, Max shot up in his bed, breathing heavily and moving around frantically.</p><p>Sam caught Max by the shoulders, desperately trying to get him to calm down. The witch was looking in every direction, his eyes wide and panicked, but he seemed to faintly recognize Sam when they locked eyes.</p><p>"Max, Max calm down," Sam tried placating. "You're going to be fine," he lied.</p><p>Max's mouth opened, and nothing came out, which only startled him more as now his legs were thrashing wildly beneath the white sheets lining his bed, having bound him tightly to it.</p><p>"Sam, this isn't doing any good. He's just dying!" Cas hissed out at the hunter, still desperately trying to still the scared, very mentally checked out the man in the bed.</p><p>Before Sam could agree and ask Cas to just put him back in his coma, Max suddenly grabbed Sam's arms with a tight, almost painful grip, digging his nails into the exposed skin on Sam's forearms.</p><p>"Dean, I have to go back for Dean!" He shouted, a little too loudly.</p><p>Both men standing by him were suddenly very invested in his delusions and insanity. "What about Dean? Max, why do you have to go back for Dean?" Sam asked quickly.</p><p>The door behind them swung open, and the doctor came rushing in, her look of confusion switching to incredulity as she saw her patient sitting up in bed and screaming.</p><p>She rushed forward, followed by both a male and female nurse, and they haphazardly shoved the two men out of their way, the nurses trying to push Max down on the bed.</p><p>"Let me go!" Max shouted at the nurses, thrashing and fighting back with every last bit of quickly dying strength. "I have to go back! I can't… I have to tell them… the bunker… where's the bunker…?" Max's eyelids started flickering, and all of the energy he put into his panic had now died completely.</p><p>"We're losing him!"</p><p>Sam hardly noticed how he had been holding onto Cas for support after being pushed aside, and the two watched as the staff tried desperately to keep Max alive, but it was obvious to everyone in the room that he was fading fast.</p><p>In one final moment, Max's eyes grew wide. "Chuck," he whispered, his voice full of fear, his gaze fixed on the wall beyond them though there was nothing there. And there, his gaze stayed, long after the life had drained from him altogether.</p><p>Cas helped drag Sam out of the room as more nurses arrived with a crash cart, and all of the shoutings between the medical professionals faded into a dull, fuzzy hum until Cas had managed to latch the door behind them.</p><p>Cas led Sam to one of the chairs sitting in the hallway. The hunter collapsed into it lazily, as though all of his energy had been zapped.</p><p>After a moment to catch his breath and understand that he just watched Max Banes die, he glanced up at the angel still standing above him, eyeing him with concern and sympathy. "Cas, what do you think that meant?"</p><p>The angel finally sat down in the chair next to him with a sigh before rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "It cannot be a good thing. You heard what he said as well as I."</p><p>"Right, Chuck," Sam admitted defeatedly. "What are we going to do now?" He turned to Cas, his frame fully worn and exhausted.</p><p>Both of them had tears welling in their eyes. They had just caused the death of someone who came to Kansas to help them, only so they could find out what information he may know. And now they had that information, and it was… hopeless.</p><p>When Castiel couldn't find any words to answer with, Sam buried his face in his hands. He would do anything for Dean to help them through this, but that was precisely the problem.<br/>And now Max Banes was dead, and there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p>■</p><p>Lucifer blinked his eyes open to see Dean, now standing directly in front of him with his hands on the archangel's shoulders, staring at him with concern.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this one was a bit angsty... but that timeline never happened now so I hope you can forgive me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Eat Me Alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lucifer saw more than he intended when he peered into the other timeline, Max is finally awake, and Cas has another rendezvous with the angel Ruth</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer blinked his eyes open to see Dean, now standing directly in front of him with his hands on the archangel's shoulders, staring at him with concern.</p><p>"Luc? Hey, welcome back," he noted with relief as Lucifer seemed to acknowledge his presence.</p><p>Lucifer began to re-ground himself. He got so swept up in viewing the other timeline that apparently a few seconds had passed where he was just standing in the hospital room, zoning out.</p><p>Dean was still clutching his shoulders, the concern having barely been alleviated. "Are you okay, Luc?"</p><p>The archangel cleared his throat and sent Dean a relieved smile, possibly relieved because Dean was here, in front of him. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>Mia, who was still sitting in the chair to his right, drew his attention. "Lucifer, you were crying."</p><p>Was he? He gently felt for his face, the movement of his arms causing Dean to finally back away from him, giving him space. He felt the slightly wet trail on his cheek.</p><p>He had cried before, he was very in touch with his human-like emotions, especially around Dean, but he hadn't been expecting his little glance into the other timeline to be as emotionally taxing as it had been.</p><p>The issue was, he peered too far. He didn't just see Max; he saw Castiel being sad and upset. He saw Sam panicked and guilt-ridden. He hated what he saw because he knew that those two people grieving the death of Max Banes were in for six more years of torment and depression. After all, when what he saw had actually happened, Dean hadn't even let Lucifer heal him yet. And that seemed like ages ago.</p><p>"Luc? What did you see?" Dean's voice came out calm and relaxed, trying to bring Lucifer back into the present with them.</p><p>The archangel looked momentarily confused before shaking his head. "Right, sorry. Max was… well, he died."</p><p>Dean looked to the ground with a dark look on his face. That was what he feared had happened; more significantly, it was what he hoped wouldn't have happened.</p><p>At least now, he knew definitively. If he hadn't come back to this time and rewritten the past, Max would be dead, and it would be all Chuck's fault. That bastard needed to pay, and if Dean had been antsy to get a move on finding Gabriel's key before, now it was even more pertinent in his mind.</p><p>Before anyone could say anything else, like complain about how they hadn't started looking for the key, or ask what exactly Lucifer saw that shook him up so much, Max's head sprung up from the bed like a jack-in-the-box.</p><p>Dean hurried to his side, leaning over him and gently pushing him back down to the bed. "Hey, Max, relax, it's okay. You're okay, you're going to be fine."</p><p>Max's eyes were wide and panicked, but he momentarily narrowed them as he examined Dean. "Am I dead?" He croaked out worriedly.</p><p>Dean couldn't help but laugh. "No, Max. You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"</p><p>He glanced down at himself for a moment, as if taking himself all in again. "I called you to come look at that… light thing, and I was chased out by a farmer… and he… he acted strange after a while…" it was clear that Max was slowly piecing his memories back together. "You… oh my god, Dean, what the hell happened? Are you okay?!"</p><p>Dean smiled at him calmly. "Of course, everything's fine, Max."</p><p>Max shook his head, eyeing him almost suspiciously. "No, you told me not to touch it, but when I came back, you were gone, and the light thing was gone, and I saw your car! You love the car!"</p><p>"I do."</p><p>"I started driving to your bunker when…" his face became dark and scared. "He's a monster. He's some kind of monster," his body trembled as he spoke.</p><p>Dean clasped his hands in his, slowly sitting down on the bed beside Max's legs at an angle. "Who's a monster, Max?" He asked sternly, fearing he already knew the answer.</p><p>Max blinked. "I don't… I don't remember…"</p><p>Dean glanced back at Lucifer, who just shrugged and folded his arms. The hunter pursed his lips as he turned back to the witch. "Well, what do you remember?"</p><p>"I was… I know I was driving, and this man ran out on the road, covered in blood. I… think I let him in my car. Yes, I did; I let him in, but he suddenly wasn't hurt anymore, and he smiled… god, he looked so… so… soulless… he… I know it was him," Max's eyes stayed wide, but they weren't even looking at Dean anymore. "I know it was him, I swear, he did it."</p><p>"Did what?"</p><p>"My car... it flipped. It flipped, and it kept flipping over and over and over again. God, it was so… loud. And I felt this..." he examined his fingers as he stretched and wiggled them about wildly. "I felt this pain… everywhere. The car caved in around me,… my face… my legs… I couldn't…"</p><p>"Just breathe, Max, breathe," Dean commanded while stroking his thumb over Max's wrists comfortingly. "You're safe now, okay?"</p><p>Max nodded at him, seeming to finally come down from his fear. "Who was he?" He asked tentatively.</p><p>Dean sighed and again looked back at Lucifer, causing Max to look at the other two people in the room he hadn't acknowledged before. But before he could start asking even more questions, Dean decided that honesty about his current situation was probably best. "His name is… Chuck, and-"</p><p>"Yes! He told me!" Max started nodding fervently. "I forgot. He told me his name, and he kept… he kept calling me 'bait'," Max's panic slowed, and he paused thoughtfully. "I didn't understand that."</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes; he understood it perfectly. He remembered what Chuck said to him the day he kidnapped him, the way he kept referring to Max as "bait". It was gross.</p><p>Max narrowed his eyes, his face and mannerisms now displaying that he was completely back in the moment. "What was he, exactly?"</p><p>Dean chewed his bottom lip and quickly cast a glance at both Lucifer and Mia, both of them also looking nervous and unsure. "Max, this is going to sound like… something… but Chuck is… God."</p><p>Max laughed outright. "Yeah, sure," he commented with an eye-roll. He stared at Dean, waiting for the conclusion to his joke, but the older hunter just continued staring at him blankly. Max's jaw dropped. "You're joking, right? You can't honestly expect me to believe that?"</p><p>Dean shrugged somewhat defensively. "I know it's confusing and strange-sounding, Max, but I'm not lying. And the three of us need to have a little chat."</p><p>Max eyed the two other people with suspicion. "I've never seen these people before… Dean, what's going on?"</p><p>-</p><p>As Mia shut the door behind them, Sam peered in through the window, but he couldn't see Max's bed from the angle, and his brother very quickly disappeared from view.</p><p>He huffed, slightly frustrated that he wasn't in there with Max, and he sat down in one of the hallway's waiting chairs.</p><p>Cas didn't sit down; in fact, he had a weird expression on his face that almost made Sam nervous.</p><p>"Hey Cas, everything okay?"</p><p>He shook his head, looking distantly. It was enough to make Sam stand up and walk back over to him. "Sam, there's something I have to do," he said quickly before walking away from him rapidly.</p><p>Sam threw his hands in the air, annoyed, but didn't move to follow him. Instead, he just sat back in the chair and sighed, feeling useless and bored.</p><p>Castiel moved through the halls, following the sense that told him there was someone nearby. He pushed a back exit door open and saw Ruth standing directly in front of him, arms folded, a long, familiar weapon in her hand.</p><p>"Have you given any thought to what I asked of you last night?" She asked, tapping her foot impatiently.</p><p>Castiel took a deep breath. "I'm not doing your bidding unless you tell me why Dean is in danger," he grumbled indignantly. "You said angels were after him. Why?"</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "That's not important. What's important is keeping track of him and who he contacts at all times."</p><p>Cas folded his arms. "Why? Why do the people he contacts hold any significance?"</p><p>Ruth frowned at him, but it was clear the gears in her brain were moving. "Tell me, Castiel, has he spent any time with any curious new people?"</p><p>Dammit, he had, of course, but he wasn't sure he wanted her to win. He wanted him to be safe; of course, Dean's safety mattered to him more than anything in the world, but he wasn't sure what any of Ruth's vague warnings implied. And he wasn't sure he trusted her. Why had everyone thought her dead for all this time if she wasn't? What was she hiding exactly?</p><p>"What is that?" Cas decided to ask, pointing out the long weapon she held in her arms, slightly obscured behind her leg.</p><p>She rolled her eyes even harder than before at Castiel's avoidance, but she pulled it out, and what he saw horrified him.</p><p>Cas took a step back from her. "Where the hell did you get that?" His voice was low and dark.</p><p>The lance of Michael. The lance that Ramiel, a Prince of Hell, stabbed Castiel with a few years ago. A weapon that had him dying in a barn, and he only survived because Crowley, of all people, figured out that breaking it would heal him.</p><p>"Why does it matter where I got this? It has nothing to do with why I'm speaking to you, Castiel."</p><p>"Are you planning on using that against me?" Castiel accused. "Believe me, I've seen what it can do. And I know that you wouldn't have it if you weren't up to something."</p><p>"Castiel…"</p><p>"No. I don't know how you're alive, Ruth, but I don't want any part of this."</p><p>"Hey!" She barked. "I'm trying to protect your friend."</p><p>Cas raised his eyebrows. "You won't even tell me why he needs protecting. All I see is you, holding that lance."</p><p>"It's not for you! It's for Lucifer."</p><p>Cas let out a dry laugh. "Lucifer? Ruth, he's dead. He's been dead for a couple of years now."</p><p>Ruth shook her head at him. "You think you know everything, don't you, Castiel? You are in for a bitter surprise once you realize that you know absolutely nothing."</p><p>Cas folded his arms again, indignantly. "Really? Because I have a clear view now. You're not here to help me, Ruth, and you are definitely not here to help Dean. But I get the feeling you aren't planning on telling me why you're here at all."</p><p>Her stern, apathetic frown morphed into a scowl, and Cas had half a mind to flee back into the hospital. He didn't trust her, and specifically not when she had that weapon in her possession.</p><p>"I will complete my mission, Castiel. No one is getting in my way. Which means I will find him the moment he reemerges."</p><p>"Who?!"</p><p>She simply furrowed her brow and was gone in the blink of an eye.</p><p>Castiel shivered a bit as he stared after the spot she had been standing in before turning to go back inside. That conversation had been incredibly confusing and disorienting, and Cas was growing more and more confused and suspicious.</p><p>Why did Ruth care so much about who Dean was contacting? Did she know something about Mia, or was this about someone else entirely? Why the hell did she have the lance of Michael, and why wasn't it broken? And who did she intend to use it on? And why did she say she was using it on Lucifer? She had to know that he was dead. Everyone knew he was dead.

He was dead. Right?</p><p>Of course, yes, Lucifer is dead. He would know if that weren't the case, he would know if something had changed. No, that couldn't be it; Ruth must have just spent too much time underground.</p><p>But what was it then? Why did she think he was in danger? Cas didn't trust Ruth for a second, and he was sure she didn't have Dean's best interests in mind, but there seemed to be some truth to what she was saying.</p><p>He needed to have a little chat with one Dean Winchester.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's a little bit more Max content coming up next</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. The World is a Picture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Max has some opinions about Dean's abundance of lies, and Mia tells him the truth about her own feelings being in this world</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Max stared at the three of them, his jaw practically on the floor. "What am I supposed to do with… that?!"</p><p>Admittedly, it was a lot to drop on a person. A minute-long overview that God had tried to kill you because he wanted to imprison your friend in another world for six years, but then said friend time-traveled back to when he disappeared wasn't exactly a normal thing to hear.</p><p>"Wait, so you're… six years older than you were when I saw you… two days ago?"</p><p>Dean nodded, slightly embarrassed. "Luc was kind enough to make me look the same I did before so that Sam and Cas wouldn't get suspicious."</p><p>Max held his hand up. "Wait a second, wait just a fucking second, are you telling me that Sam and Cas don't know?! Dean, what the hell?!"</p><p>"They don't know, and you're not going to tell them," Dean commanded strictly, glaring at him.</p><p>Max just stared at him with his wide eyes. "That's not a good idea, Dean," he began apprehensively. "They need to know."</p><p>Dean still hadn't introduced the tall blonde man but had referred to as "Luc" took a menacing step toward Max's bed. "I don't believe you heard him. He said you're not going to tell them," the man's voice was intimidating, and there was something powerful about his presence, enough to make Max want to slip back into that nice little coma where he didn't know about any of this.</p><p>Dean grabbed his friend's arm and rather forcefully pulled him away from Max. "It's okay, Luc. If Max really needs to tell them, we aren't going to stop him. He's not the enemy." Dean turned away from an annoyed and concerned archangel to face the annoyed and concerned witch once more. "Just promise me, when you tell them, can you not mention my friend here?"</p><p>Max narrowed his eyes. It was clearly an odd dynamic between the three people in the room. The tall blonde guy seemed to be pretty timid and gentle when he wasn't focused on Dean, and it was evident that the two respected each other and cared about one another. The girl was quiet, probably closer to Max's age, but she watched the proceedings intensely and with much focus, so clearly she cared about the other two but knew damn well who was in charge, and it wasn't her. She had barely made a noise.</p><p>Before Max could ask why Dean wanted the stranger left out and yell at him for trying to keep this insanity a secret, the girl spoke up for the first time. "I want to have a word with Max. Alone."</p><p>Dean and the blonde man raised their eyebrows and folded their arms, comically synchronized, but the girl stood from the chair and leveled them both with an icy stare that made the two falter slightly.</p><p>Having had his decision made for him already by the younger girl, the blonde man turned to Dean and sighed. </p><p>"Talk later?"</p><p>"Of course," Dean replied with a quick reassuring smile, and the blonde man disappeared in a blink.</p><p>"What the hell?!" Max jumped instinctively, though he hadn't made any move to stand from the bed just yet.</p><p>Ignoring him, the girl turned to Dean. "Tell them that I'm performing a spell to heal him and that I'll come out when it's done."</p><p>It was apparent that Dean wanted to argue, but he pursed his lips and spun tightly, marching out the door.</p><p>The stranger sat back down in the seat beside Max's bed, lazily tossing one leg over the arm of the chair. "You know," she started after a moment of silence. "I read dozens upon dozens of books on witchcraft, and yet I am complete shit at pretending to be a witch."</p><p>Max raised his eyebrows at her. "Why are you pretending to be a witch?"</p><p>"Oh, you know," she swung her hand through the air, speaking apathetically. "More of Dean's lies to his family."

Max rolled his eyes, annoyed at how everything was just lining up in a bunch of dishonesty. "And you're just okay with that?"</p><p>"Quite the contrary," she spoke, surprising Max. "I am very against all of this. I wanted Dean to come home after six years and have a teary reunion with the people he loved, who also lived six years without him, and I wanted to be by his side as he explained what happened to him. I, very selfishly, wanted them to suffer through the same six years as Dean so that they could all appreciate being together again. People take being together for granted," she confessed, looking down into her lap. "I took my mother for granted, and she's gone."</p><p>Max suddenly really liked this girl. "I know how that is," he admitted.</p><p>She locked eyes with him and nodded. 'Exactly. So, people like you and me, people who lost people we loved, don't want to watch Dean force Sam and Cas to take him for granted because they don't even know they lost him. And truthfully? I didn't even want Dean to come back to this time because I desperately wanted to watch how much his family missed him. You know, Dean is so damn stubborn, he refused to talk about how much his family might have been missing him!"</p><p>"Yeah, that one makes sense."</p><p>"I know!" She threw her hands in the air. "I'm just a mess, and I'm projecting onto Dean because I love him, and he has been apart from his family for so long. But Max, I wouldn't want to tell them the truth because Dean doesn't want it."</p><p>"Why? I don't get it!" Max responded, honestly. "You don't want to step in and fix all of this? You know that Dean is wrong!"</p><p>"True, but I'm wrong sometimes too. I wanted him to wait six years, and do you want to know what would have happened if he listened to me?"</p><p>"He wouldn't have to lie to Sam and Cas about anything?"</p><p>"You'd be dead."</p><p>He stared at the girl for a second and waited for her to say she was joking, waited for any muscle in her face to quiver ever so slightly to let him know that she wasn't serious. But she clearly was. She just stared at him, a knowing look on her face.</p><p>Rather than argue anything he knew she wouldn't give an answer to, he settled on "how do you know?" It wasn't said in disbelief; in fact, it was more of an admission of belief.</p><p>She folded her lips in to make a flat, humorless smile. "You know that tall guy who disappeared in the blink of an eye?"</p><p>"I did have some questions about that."</p><p>"Don't go down that rabbit hole, Max, you'll thank me later."</p><p>Max nodded understandingly, having acknowledged that nothing could possibly be weirder than learning God exists, hated him, and rode in his car. "So, what? You want me to keep Dean's secret by guilting me into thinking I owe him?"</p><p>"Oh please," the girl scoffed. "You don't owe him shit. It was a roll of the dice, completely based on Dean's mood when he decided what year to come back during. He didn't save you on purpose. I just wanted you to be aware of all of the factors before you go pushing Dean into something he's not ready for."</p><p>"He's not ready for honesty?"</p><p>"He's not ready for them to look at him with pity," the girl responded, leaning forward and staring Max right in the eyes. "There are consequences to every choice we make, Max. You let Chuck into your car, I went fishing, and Dean came back to the day after he left so that he could keep the last six years a secret. All of those actions have or will have consequences. You almost died, I wasn't there for my mother, and Dean will eventually have to explain himself in excruciating detail. Now, you have another choice, one that has more consequences. You can tell Sam and Cas about Dean's little six-year adventure, or you can wait for him to say it."</p><p>"What if he never does?"</p><p>"Then that's the consequence. If you don't tell them, the consequence is that they will continue living, completely unaware of Dean's traumatic experience and years apart, and worst-case scenario, they'll literally never know." She leaned forward, even closer to him. "And if you do tell them? The consequence is that Dean didn't."</p><p>Max bit his lip and studied the girl for a moment. "What do you want me to do, fake-witch?"</p><p>She leaned back into her chair again. "I can't tell you, real-witch. That's up to you."</p><p>-</p><p>When Dean left the hospital room, he very quickly corrected his posture and facial expression. He'd only been back for a day now, but he had already messed up so much when it came to pretending that everything was normal, so he was trying to amend that now that Sam didn't seem to suspect him as much.</p><p>So he put on a concerned, worried face rather than his fuming, smoke coming out of his ears face that he had before.</p><p>He just hoped that whatever Mia wanted to talk to Max about would be enough to steer him away from telling on him.</p><p>Dean had gone through six years fighting monsters in an alternate reality, and now his biggest fear was a witch tattling on him.</p><p>"Hey," Dean greeted his brother in the hallway, closing the door behind him and looking around. "Where's Cas?"</p><p>"I'm here," the low voice startled him as it came from a few feet away, Cas walking toward the two of them.</p><p>"Everything okay?" Sam asked the angel with a concerned look, and Dean glanced between the two, wondering if he missed something.</p><p>"I'm fine," Cas waved it off. "It was nothing. How is Max Banes?"</p><p>Dean shrugged off his confusion, being the one with the most secrets at the moment anyway. "He's going to be alright; Mia needed total privacy to do her… healing thing."</p><p>Sam nodded, a bit relieved that Dean seemed to be pretty confident, and diverted his attention back to Cas. The angel was eyeing Dean suspiciously, and it was obvious that something had changed in the last ten minutes.</p><p>However, Dean was oblivious and simply went to sit down in one of the chairs, looking a lot more exhausted than he had any right to be. Sam noted how Castiel's eyes never left him as he sat down, and he had half a mind to slap them both on the back of the head and tell them to start acting normal again.</p><p>Then again, Cas staring after Dean wasn't exactly different, but that wasn't what this was about.</p><p>The door to Max's room opened again, and both Mia and Max walked out. Max looked… fine. He looked normal; he looked like he hadn't been in an accident at all.</p><p>"Max! Are you okay?!" Sam asked, having not seen the kid in a long time.</p><p>Max was staring at Dean, who was staring back at him, neither saying a word but both looking very strange. Max looked annoyed and contemplative, and Dean looked… almost scared. Cas seemed to notice this too as his eyes narrowed, switching his gaze between the two.</p><p>Finally, Max's shoulders sagged ever so slightly, and he locked eyes with Sam. "I'm great, actually. This girl really saved my life."</p><p>She beamed at him, looking relieved for some reason. "Us witches gotta stick together, right?"</p><p>He sent her a small smile. "And we'll just ride out those consequences, won't we?"</p><p>She gave him an understanding nod, and Sam had never felt so confused. "I'm glad you're okay, Max. Who were you so scared of before you crashed your car? Did they do this to you?"</p><p>Max shook his head after hesitating for a moment. He locked eyes with Dean specifically as he answered, "I don't remember anything about the day of the accident."</p><p>Dean raised his eyebrows at him. "Are you sure about that, Max?"</p><p>Max nodded definitively. "I'm sure, Dean. And I'm sorry."</p><p>"What are you sorry for?" Cas piped in.</p><p>Mia clapped her hands together loudly, pulling attention. "I think we should send Max home to get some rest, right guys?"</p><p>Max nodded quickly. "I think that's a good idea," he added, all too quickly.</p><p>Dean threw his arm around Max with a big grin on his face. "That would be great, you guys, but who's going to tell the doctor why her patient is up and kicking?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Last call for Max! Also, we're getting close to the end! I'm almost finished writing the story, and once I do I will be able to for sure post every night, so don't be alarmed if I skip a day, I am not giving up on this story :))))))))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Someone Else's Town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia has a horrible idea and Castiel makes a temporary decision about all of the secrets</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean didn't get the chance to thank Max for keeping his secret because Max had his hands full being swarmed by medical professionals who were all baffled by his seemingly miraculous recovery.</p><p>He knew it must have been something Mia said to him, but even after they got back to the bunker and were out of earshot, she wouldn't tell him exactly what she said, and Dean wasn't entirely sure why.</p><p>Still, he didn't want to look this gift horse in the mouth and instead thought that maybe it was just a good thing, a good thing that happened to him.</p><p>Max was safe, and Dean had worried about that for the past six years. Now, he didn't need to worry about it anymore.</p><p>He certainly had other things to worry about, but they could wait. All he wanted to do was eat his breakfast with his family and Mia, and feel grateful for Max's kindness at the hospital yesterday.</p><p>An excellent, warm, happy breakfast where he was sitting across the table from Cas, and he could keep looking up from his eggs to stare at the angel who seemed content to just sit there at the breakfast table and watch the others eat. Dean wanted to just enjoy how pretty Cas looked through Dean's own tired haze as he drowned his emotions and memories in black coffee.</p><p>But Mia just had to ruin it as she stabbed at her bacon and decided to start talking and ruin Dean's peace. "You know, I was wondering, maybe you guys could take me on a little road trip."</p><p>Dean raised his eyebrows at her but didn't respond. The last thing he wanted to do was a road trip, especially one with Mia AND his family; it was a recipe for disaster and slipping up and ruining everything. Not to mention, he would be perfectly okay with just sitting in the bunker and watching Cas for the next millennia to make up for his six years away.</p><p>What exactly was Mia's plan here?</p><p>She continued as she shoved the bacon in her mouth. "I've wanted to meet other people in the life, you know, and I thought a good place to start would be you all introducing me to Jody Mills."</p><p>Dean choked on his egg, and it was loud and embarrassing, but certainly called for. He was briefly distracted from his panic when Cas, concerned after the noise Dean made, instinctively grabbed Dean's hand from across the table and examined him closely and with concern to see if Dean was hurt. He'd be lying if he thought that Cas touching his hand wasn't the most significant distraction Dean could get, as his mind turned into a teen magazine as he just was flooded with his feelings again, but he snapped out of it the second he finished swallowing his food and Cas drew his hand away.</p><p>Dammit Mia, what the hell was she thinking?!</p><p>"I don't think that's a good idea," Dean started, trying to keep his voice calm and casual as to not arouse even more suspicion.</p><p>She twirled her fork around the plate, not making eye contact with Dean. "I think it's a great idea. And I think we should go."</p><p>"Well, I think you should respect people's boundaries."</p><p>"I think I could do that as soon as you fulfill your side of the deal," she responded aggressively, glaring at him as though she were challenging him to disagree right there, in front of Sam and Cas, who did not know what Dean's deal entailed.</p><p>Sam, glancing between the two's equally furious expressions, and trying to alleviate the tension, chimed in by saying, "I think visiting Jody would be nice, right, Cas?" He glanced over at the angel for support.

Cas hadn't really been paying attention; he had been secretly trying to constantly glance up at Dean whenever the man was distracted and eating his food. He couldn't and wouldn't hide his curiosity and suspicion for the situation, only made worse by Ruth and her consistent vagueness, but it was hard to ever pry his eyes away from the man.</p><p>"Hmm…?" His voice was distant, having only now clued himself into their conversation. Dean looked mad, and Mia looked stubborn, and Sam just looked desperate, so Cas took his chances with him. "I agree."</p><p>Mia turned to Dean with a proud look on her face, and Cas almost felt a bit guilty for helping cause that defeated, angry look on Dean.</p><p>"Hear that, Dean? It would be nice," Mia sneered, her nature backing away from hostile and returning to teasing and playful, but Dean shot out of his seat.</p><p>"Mia, can we talk?" He requested, or more likely demanded, motioning out the door.</p><p>Mia bit her lip thoughtfully and leveled Dean with a challenging stare as she stabbed her fork forcefully into her eggs. "We can talk right here."</p><p>Dean's expression could only be described as appalled, and Sam and Cas both cowered back a little bit, waiting for The Bomb to go off. This girl had some audacity if she was going to challenge Dean in his own kitchen, especially in the morning.</p><p>Dean felt a second away from boiling over and losing his mind, but then he paused and took a deep breath, shutting his eyes momentarily.</p><p>In times where he felt like going insane and screaming at how unfair or miserable he felt on a particular day living in the other world in the last six years, he would take a breath, close his eyes, and think of peaceful, calming things.</p><p>He usually chose to fixate on his fever dream from the first night he arrived in Lucifer's world when he was floating on his back down the river in the forest. He felt so content at that moment, so blissfully unaware of his situation, losing himself in a fantasy of floating beside his family.</p><p>Dean would be the first to admit he had anger issues. He also knew that stopping and slowing down and not blowing up would be a very noticeable personality change. Still, some things had changed about him over the last six years that he wanted to take advantage of, that he couldn't revert back to the way it was before. Not for everything.</p><p>So, the three watched his shut eyes cautiously as his face went from beet red back to normal, his hands uncurled, and his entire body seemed to slightly relax before he opened his eyes again, sent them all a tight, slightly annoyed smile. He calmly but quickly walked out of the room.</p><p>"What the hell was that?!" Sam asked incredulously after Dean's footsteps had receded entirely down the hall. He turned slightly to face Mia. "Did you do that?"</p><p>She put her hands in the air. "Don't look at me! I was expecting a visit from the nuclear Dean. I really was tempting fate with that one; I'm lucky to be alive."</p><p>"I think we all are," Sam mused, replaying the image of his brother's anger fading in his head over and over. Maybe if he could memorize this exact scenario, he could get Dean to do that more often, the whole "self-control" bit. "That's the first time he didn't detonate The Bomb."</p><p>Cas was a lot more suspicious, as he consistently was these days, and wondered what the sudden change was. He loved Dean, of course; that fact was painfully obvious and stabbing in his gut despite his distrust and doubt, so he was a bit excited that Dean had a bit more control over his own temper, but he had no idea where to begin deciphering what it meant.</p><p>Mia stood up slowly and hesitantly. "I think I actually should… talk to him. I don't get 'calm Dean' very often, and I don't want to waste it, you know?"</p><p>Sam nodded, rolling his eyes understandingly. "Tap that well as long as you can," he advised, going back to his breakfast.</p><p>Mia jogged out of the room, leaving behind Sam, already pushing it to the back of his mind, and Castiel, desperately wanting some kind of explanation to make everything that was going on feel normal again.</p><p>Dean was sitting in the library, hands folded on the table, and his head was facing the entrance to the hallway, clearly expecting to see her.</p><p>She immediately put her hands up and in front of her as if that would protect her. "I appreciate you defusing The Bomb."</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow at her. "The Bomb?"</p><p>She shrugged and folded her arms defensively. "You know, The Dean Winchester Bomb. The loss of patience, the screaming, and punching or kicking inanimate objects, The Bomb?"</p><p>He crinkled his nose and nodded. "Right, THAT 'The Bomb." He patted the table and pointed to the seat, and Mia was smart enough to know that she wouldn't be able to out-stubborn Dean any longer, so she scurried over and sat opposite him.</p><p>"You're mad at me."</p><p>"That's the least dumb thing you've said this morning!"</p><p>"I know she's not actually my mom, but-"</p><p>"No, you're damn right she isn't," Dean cut her off, his voice icy and firm. "She does not know you. She will not recognize you, and she never even had a daughter of her own. What are you trying to do to me?"</p><p>"That's not fair," Mia objected. "This isn't about doing anything to you, Dean. It's about me."</p><p>"Then why did you play the deal card?"</p><p>She bit her lip guiltily. "Okay, that was low," she admitted. "But I don't think it was unfair. I stopped fighting monsters, which is what I really wanted to do, and for most of six years, all I did was read and decipher books and journals just so I could get you here. I made that sacrifice, Dean, and I get that expecting you to do something in return is selfish, but I am selfish. And I've earned the right to be selfish."</p><p>Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. She was right; she had a point, even if it was annoying and difficult, and even if she was currently annoying and difficult.</p><p>"So what do you want from me then?" Dean asked earnestly. "You want me to waltz into that kitchen and tell Cas that I'm in love with him?"</p><p>"I'm renegotiating," she answered simply. "You can either tell Cas, or you can take me to see your Jody Mills. I won't attempt to tell her who I am because she wouldn't understand, and Sam and Cas wouldn't understand, but I want to see her. And I still expect you to tell Cas someday, but if you take me to Jody's, I won't pressure you to do it unless you're ready." She leaned slightly across the table. "So, pick. Cas or Jody. Your move, Winchester."</p><p>-</p><p>Sam and Mia were asleep about four hours into the car ride to Jody's.</p><p>Dean was feeling frustrated. He told Luc where they were headed, and Luc admitted that they were done with the Ma'lak Box, but he didn't want Dean to look for Gabriel's key until after their little expedition.</p><p>Truthfully, he was beginning to think he was just jumping from disaster to disaster, but it did help take his mind off of the fact that he traveled back in time and was lying to the two people he loved most.</p><p>And this trip to Jody's would definitely, in fact, be a disaster. No doubt about it. So far, he and Mia hadn't been proving to be very good liars, especially together, and now she was going to ring the doorbell of her dead mom, who was not going to in any way recognize her.</p><p>Dean wasn't sure what to expect from Mia when they got there. He may be slightly angry that she wanted to go in the first place, but the closer they got to Sioux Falls, the more he was just sympathizing with her instead. He knew any screw-up or info-slip could be easily blamed on her, so he decided to shelve his anger unless Mia's visit proved to work against them.</p><p>He knew first hand how hard it was to interact with people you've lost and pretend nothing happened. He experienced it two days ago, and he failed. Miserably. It would take a hefty amount of time before either Sam or Cas dropped it, even though Sam seemed to have momentarily moved on. He knew that it would only get more difficult as he would have to disappear soon to find Gabriel's key and deal with any issues arising from that.</p><p>He had actually been pretty lucky. In two years, he hadn't seen Ruth, not since Luc and Raphael cleaned house and left her with a skeleton crew. Not to mention, he hadn't seen any of her empty threats from years ago when she claimed that angels and demons would be waiting for him when he did get home. True, he was only on day three of getting home, but he expected a bloody greeting if he was going to get anything, and Luc and Kevin hadn't seen anything in their last couple of days in the old cabin either.</p><p>Dean took a breath and reminded himself that everything would be fine, just as soon as they found Gabriel's key. He would find Rowena and convince her to help, and that would be that. Ruth didn't stand a chance against Lucifer, and it's not like she had a weapon that might kill him. And she hadn't even come near the bunker, so he was pretty sure she was still in the other world, fuming over her failures.</p><p>He looked over at his brother, sound asleep in the passenger seat. Then he glanced into the rearview mirror and saw Mia, sleeping and snoring slightly, completely leaned and curled against Cas' arm, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.</p><p>Dean let out a little laugh at the image, which drew Cas's attention away from the window he was staring out to lock eyes with Dean. Dean, losing himself a bit, just stared back at him for a bit, having another one of his 'moments' where he just realized how much he missed all of this. Cas just stared back at him with a content look on his face.</p><p>"If she drools, push her away," Dean joked softly, as to not wake the two sleeping passengers. Cas sent him a gentle smile that made Dean's insides feel all squishy and soft and happy, which he was kicking himself for.</p><p>"I don't mind," the angel responded just as softly. Hearing his deep voice break the silence only did more to make Dean in love with him and everything about him.</p><p>For a moment, everything was perfect. Cas was smiling at him, and Mia was cuddled up against him asleep, while his brother's shoulder rose and fell with the rhythm of his breathing. It was his family; all he missed was Luc sitting opposite Cas with Kevin curled against him.</p><p>He could be happy again if he let himself. Why wasn't he letting himself?</p><p>"Dean?"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"How did you do that this morning?"</p><p>"Do what, Cas?"</p><p>"You seemed very upset, and I won't ask you why, but I am curious as to how you calmed yourself down so easily."</p><p>He knew they had noticed it. "I just thought about something calming, something to remind me why I shouldn't be The Bomb."</p><p>Cas cocked his head slightly, and Dean thought he might crash the car, being overwhelmed by how adorable and perfect and… Cas that move had become. "What did you think about?" The angel asked.</p><p>Dean smiled and mindlessly tapped his steering wheel, the image of the night sky and dark silhouetted trees making him smile. "An old dream I had, about floating on a river and gazing at the stars."</p><p>Castiel was a bit surprised by Dean's open emotionality and vulnerability and use of the word "gazing," but what really interested him was how familiar that sounded… but why was it familiar? He had never been on a river, and he didn't sleep or dream, so why did that feel familiar?</p><p>"Dean, is there something you aren't telling us?" Castiel asked in response. He wanted to just sit in the backseat of the Impala with this strange young witch sleeping on his arm, but he couldn't pretend that what Ruth said hadn't bothered him.</p><p>Dean's hands tightened around the wheel, his fingers slowly wrapping themselves around it one by one. "Cas, don't make me lie to you."</p><p>He knew it. "Then don't lie, Dean," Cas reasoned in his signature Cas-knows-best voice. "Dean, I know that there's something wrong. And there is clearly something different about you."</p><p>Dean didn't respond for a few full minutes, and Castiel didn't pry, knowing that Dean couldn't exactly escape or pretend that this conversation hadn't happened.</p><p>Finally, Dean spoke in a small voice. "Is it… bad different?"</p><p>"Sorry?"</p><p>"You said I'm different. Is it bad different?"</p><p>Dean had feared this since his many conversations with Lucifer about changing and being a different person when he came back. He had been terrified of being a different person, a person that Cas wouldn't like. He never wanted to be somebody Cas didn't like.</p><p>It was those words and how small they made him sound that finally pushed Cas to his realization. It didn't matter what happened, it didn't matter what Dean was lying about, it didn't matter that Ruth was around somewhere, it didn't matter whatever Mia was doing here or why Dean didn't want to visit Jody or how Mia had healed Max in full so quickly with no supplies. None of that mattered.</p><p>Dean mattered.</p><p>The only thing in the universe that mattered to Castiel was the happiness of one Dean Winchester. Maybe Sam had the right idea, acting like nothing was wrong, nothing was suspicious. Because if Dean was scared or upset at the idea of being honest with them for whatever reason, Cas wanted to be able to respect that and be patient with him. Because Dean's happiness was the only thing that mattered to him.</p><p>Considering his position in the car from Dean and Mia's weight against his arm, it was physically impossible to reach forward and put his hand on Dean's shoulder, which is what he so desperately wanted to do. Looking at Dean's face through the mirror, a face on the verge of tears, Castiel also never wanted to grab his face and kiss him more than he did at that moment. Anything to show Dean how much he loved him. Tell him how that single day without him and with that emptiness had been one of the worst days of his life.</p><p>"Dean, nothing you could ever do would be a bad thing to me," Cas replied in lieu of lunging forward and wrapping his arms around him. Dean blinked, looking surprised and confused but also relieved, which is all that Cas wanted. "When you change, you're still Dean Winchester. That never changes. And I'm not angry with you at all, you know that, don't you?"</p><p>It was crazy how many reassurances were in that one statement, and it almost made Dean want to cry more. "But… I'm lying to you. You were never fooled," Dean confessed.</p><p>Cas nodded slowly. "You don't have to tell me anything," the angel decided aloud, earning another shocked look from the driver. "Just promise me something, Dean."</p><p>"Anything for you," Dean said, a little more desperate than he intended, but Cas didn't seem to notice.</p><p>Cas did notice and did his best to hide how happy it made him feel.</p><p>"Promise me that you're not going to get hurt when we're not there with you," Cas said honestly.</p><p>Dean blinked at him, surprised. He hadn't expected any of what Cas said to him in the last five minutes. He certainly hadn't expected Cas to say that Dean could keep some things to himself.</p><p>It took all of Dean's self-control not to just stare Cas dead in the eye and say, "I love you."</p><p>Instead, he slowed the car down enough so that he could turn his body to actually face the angel, and he said, "thank you."</p><p>It came out so sincerely, and it was so meaningful that both sat quietly for the rest of the ride, staring dreamily out their prospective windows, their skin buzzing and their hearts warmed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one was extra cute because I won't be able to have a new chapter out until Thursday night/Friday morning because I'm moving into my dorms, but tomorrow is my birthday so this chapter was a little early birthday present to me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. The Closing Eye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia's visit with Jody does not go as planned</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam and Mia were awake by the time they arrived outside of Jody's house, and Mia noticed how happy and light Dean seemed as he pulled the car in and hopped out, and she knew she must have missed something good.</p><p>As they walked up to Jody's door, Mia stopped a few feet away. The three turned to look at her in confusion.</p><p>"Mia, are you alright?" Sam asked sympathetically, seeing how apprehensive she looked.</p><p>She started nodding, but it quickly changed to shaking her head. "This was a bad idea. I'm sorry, I can't do this."</p><p>Castiel and Sam shared yet another confused look, but Dean didn't look surprised in the slightest. "Mia, you don't have to come inside. Do you want to wait in the car?"</p><p>"Wasn't this her idea?" Sam reminded them, wanting a normal explanation for all of this and just wanting to ring the doorbell and eat a home-cooked meal.</p><p>It seemed the two were effectively ignoring Sam. "No, I can do this, I have to do this," Mia said, her voice still obviously distressed. "Sam's right; this was my idea. I have to see it through. It's going to be fine." She glanced up at Dean. "Tell me it's going to be fine."</p><p>Dean opened his mouth, a sympathetic but unsure look on his face, but before any sound could come out, the door swung open, and Jody stood in the doorframe.</p><p>"You boys going to stand out there all day?" Jody greeted with a smile.</p><p>A smile. When was the last time Dean saw any Jody Mills smile at him?</p><p>Forgetting about Mia, Dean strode past Sam and Cas and wrapped Jody in a tight hug. It was less suspicious than when he hugged Sam and Cas the other day because he usually hugged Jody when he saw her, but he was squeezing extra tight.</p><p>The last time he saw Jody, albeit not this particular one, her eyes were burnt out of her head. Ruth came to the party to smite her and tons of the other survivors at their base, and it was horrible, and the images from the aftermath were graphic and burned into his head. He failed Jody. He couldn't save Jody.</p><p>But here she was, and she wasn't even the fill-in version. This was Jody Mills, his first Jody Mills.</p><p>That was a problem Dean found he had when it came to Lucifer and Kevin. He had a previous Lucifer and a previous Kevin, but sometimes with all the time they spent together and the friendships and bonds they'd forged, Dean would forget that there was a Lucifer and a Kevin before the two he knew now. And it was strange and weird to think about Kevin Tran lying on the floor in the bunker with his eyes burned out because that Kevin was so young and had been gone for so long. So which Kevin was "his" Kevin?

One or the other, both, neither, it really didn't matter. Because they really were just two separate people with two separate lives, just one face.</p><p>But Jody was always obvious because the other Jody Mills, Mia's mother, never liked Dean. Dean liked her, he admired how fierce and stubborn she was, but she always hated him because he influenced her daughter. She never trusted him.</p><p>All the while, Dean reminded himself that this woman was not the wonderful maternal figure that he knew and loved; she was a woman who still had her husband and her child, who had longer hair, Dean was noticing.</p><p>"So good to see you boys. I see your leg's healed up, Dean," Jody mused as she hugged Sam and a slightly awkward Cas.</p><p>Dean. Jody Mills called him by his first name. He honestly had forgotten that she could call him anything other than “Winchester”.</p><p>Sam called and told her they were coming before they left, but he purposefully left out Mia at Cas's request. Castiel knew that there was something odd about Mia and Dean's argument at breakfast, so he wanted to see Jody's reaction to seeing Mia without having time to prepare, in case it might let out some critical information about what was going on with Dean. This was, of course, before Cas decided to leave well-enough alone to keep Dean happy a few hours later in the car. But Jody had already known about Dean's broken leg, and the fact that it was rather miraculously healed because Sam had called Jody the second Dean was missing to see if she could reach out to people, so he felt obligated to let her know that he was home safe. She didn't know about Mia, but she had to assume there was magic involved.</p><p>Finally noticing Mia, still standing a few feet away from the door, Jody beamed at her. "Sorry boys, I didn't know you brought a friend! Hey, sweetheart, what's your name?"</p><p>Mia was staring at her, wide-eyed, looking like she was about to cry, but to her credit, she didn't. "Uh… hi," she managed to squeak out, not actually answering the question.</p><p>Jody smiled, now confused but still just as eager. "Hi, sugar. Why don't you come inside?"</p><p>The four of them walked inside her house, Sam immediately plopping down on her couch while Jody relaxed into her chair. Dean sat on the very edge of the couch, very close to where Mia awkwardly stood in the corner right in front of the closed door as if she was going to bolt any second, and Dean was prepared to follow. Cas also stood awkwardly for a bit, having never been to Jody's house before, but eventually settled on the other side of Sam, closest to Jody, placing Sam in between himself and Dean.</p><p>The last time Sam and Cas saw Jody was a month or two ago when she and the girls came by the bunker, and they all got a bit drunk. Alex had been snapping photos all night, and Sam remembered one particular photo where the three of them were popping champagne and laughing. He recalled that Dean kept that photo but wondered if it meant anything to him at all.</p><p>Sam and Cas started on the small talk with Jody, asking about Alex and Claire, talking about the dinner she was hoping to make for Sam to devour; it was all lovely and civil and domestic.</p><p>However, Dean was fixated on Mia's every move. When Sam began talking to Jody, Mia's eyes were trained on the woman, watching her in awe, likely trying to remind herself that this was not actually her mother.</p><p>After a minute or two, Mia was looking at the shelf full of framed photos on the wall. In a lull of conversation with Sam, Jody noticed this and stood to join her.</p><p>Mia cleared her throat and stuffed her hands in her pockets uncomfortably as she tried very hard not to stare. "Is this your family?" She asked weakly.</p><p>Jody grinned at the photo; it was one of her with Claire and Alex on a boat, celebrating Alex's birthday.

"These are my girls," she said proudly, picking up the frame and examining it closely. This time she was too distracted to notice Mia staring at her, but Mia finally had a smile.</p><p>"Mia," she said, earning a raised eyebrow from Jody. "My name. You asked… my name is Mia. Well, it's Amelia, actually."</p><p>"I love that name," Jody replied warmly. "I always told Sean if we ever had a girl, we would name her Amelia because that was my-"</p><p>"Mother's name," Mia interrupted, having heard the story of the first Amelia Mills a hundred times from her own mother. Realizing what she did, she quickly added, "am I right?"</p><p>"Well, yes," Jody responded, slightly confused. "Sean's dad's name was Owen, so if we had a son, that would be his name."</p><p>Scanning the shelf, Mia spotted a picture that she was looking for. Dean had told her about this Jody years ago, and she knew that she still ended up with Mia's father Sean, but they had a child years earlier named Owen, who died when he was young, and later came back as a zombie and killed Sean. It all seemed pretty bleak.</p><p>But when Mia spotted a picture of her parents together with a child, she couldn't resist. "So, I'm guessing that's Owen then?" She speculated, running her finger across the shelf's surface in front of the picture.</p><p>It was Jody and Sean walking, swinging Owen between their arms. He couldn't have been more than four years old. It was a beautifully sweet photo, and when Jody looked at it, she had a heartbreaking smile.</p><p>"Yes, that was my son," she replied sadly. She shook her head, awkwardly brushing her hands across her jeans. "I should get started on dinner."</p><p>Mia's gaze followed her guiltily, regretting her nosiness. She knew that this wasn't actually her mother, but she still seemed like it. This one was clearly more compassionate and maternal than her own, but the similarities were still there. That was still her mother's face.</p><p>It was about an hour later when the five of them sat around the table, Sam and Dean were digging into the chicken like wild animals, and Mia couldn't help but laugh at them.</p><p>"So, Mia," Jody began. "How'd you come to meet these neanderthals?" She put her hand on Castiel's arm. "Except for him, he's wonderful."</p><p>Cas smiled at her proudly and sent Dean a childish glare that just made the hunter laugh through his mouthful of chicken. God, Mia wanted Dean to uphold his side of their deal sooner rather than later because the two were just so perfect.</p><p>"Well, I met Dean a while ago, and I just met those two a couple days ago."</p><p>"Wow," Jody responded. "How do you know Dean?"</p><p>Mia glanced up at Dean as if silently asking for permission to further the lie. "Well… I'm a witch," she stated awkwardly. "I healed his leg."</p><p>Jody's eyebrows rose to her hairline, but she didn't say anything judgemental; she simply examined Mia closely as though there was some physical sign of being a witch. "Well, I can drink to that, right boys?"</p><p>Dean raised his glass of wine in the air along with Jody's, just happy to be back in such a kind atmosphere. "Hear hear!" He added jokingly.</p><p>When they reached across the table to clink their wine glasses together, Jody's own slipped out of her hand and bounced off the table once before inevitably shattering on the ground.</p><p>Mia threw herself out of her chair, looking stunned and terrified. The other four eyed her curiously, Dean also standing in concern, curious as to why she was suddenly so startled.</p><p>Mia saw it again. It was just like two years ago; she and her father were sitting on the boat, clinking root beers together when Raphael appeared before them and told them that Jody was gone.</p><p>Her life had utterly crashed that day, and hearing Jody's shattering wine glass brought her back to the shattering root beer bottle as she watched her father fall to his knees on the deck, sobbing.</p><p>Mia was powerless. It was happening again, and there was nothing she could do. Her mother was gone.

She was gone forever, and no doppelganger version of her could replace what she lost that day.</p><p>She remembered where she was, and she remembered that she was not, in fact, on that boat on her birthday two years ago. This was terrible, but certainly not as devastating.</p><p>She felt at her face with her hand to feel the warm sticky trail of tears, and as her gingers tracked down to her jaw, she ran into Dean's hand, holding onto her face as he was staring her in the eyes, looking scared.</p><p>Mia stumbled back, seeing everyone staring at her. She couldn't take it, and she ran out of the room with no attempted explanation.</p><p>The door flew open as she shoved it, and she welcomed the warm breeze that tingled against the wet spots on her face and the kind light of golden hour in Sioux Falls. She ran to the Impala, crashing against it, not even trying to open the door. She threw her arms on top of it and started crying again.</p><p>"Mia?" Dean's voice was soft and understanding, and it pissed her off.</p><p>"I just wanted what you had!" She cried out, unable to turn around and face him but rightfully assuming he made sure he was alone so she could speak freely. "I just wanted my mom!"</p><p>"I know," Dean responded, his voice still calm and reassuring.</p><p>Mia spun and ran into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder. Dean felt guilty; all of this was his fault.

It was his fault they were here, it was his fault that the other Jody was dead, and it was his fault that he wasn't providing this whole "shoulder to cry on" business the entire time.</p><p>After she calmed down, she stepped away, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm sorry, I thought this would be easy. I thought it wouldn't be hard to see-"</p><p>"Your mom?" Dean filled in the blank quickly. "Mia, of course it was hard. No one would expect you to react any differently. I should have never made you feel like you had to pretend everything was fine."</p><p>She shook her head, folding her arms in front of her body. "It's not your fault, Dean."</p><p>"Yes, it is," he argued. "You said it yourself; you just wanted what I had. And I haven't exactly made that part… clear."</p><p>Mia sniffed one last time, her eyes drying and her voice cracking less and less. "You mean… our deal? I should have never backed you into a corner to get what I wanted."</p><p>"And I never should have agreed to do something if I couldn't do it," Dean told her honestly. "I can't blame you for wanting to see Jody; all I've been doing is sending you mixed signals and confusing you."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"You expected me to tell Cas how I felt right away. But I couldn't. And you were right, you did devote six years to our deal, and I can't manage to do one simple thing. But I think that today may have shown you that…"</p><p>"It's not simple," Mia realized. "But that's what you wanted me to figure out, isn't it?"</p><p>Dean looked down at his feet, ashamed. "It was just an opportunity. I genuinely didn't want you to come here, but when you insisted, I thought that maybe you would finally understand why I can't just tell Cas I love him."</p><p>The two, practically synchronized, turned their backs pressed to the side of the Impala, and slid to the ground, sitting on the curb facing the house.</p><p>Mia stared at the windows of the house, feeling just as guilty as Dean was. "I'm so sorry, Dean. I really thought that you could just go home and have some fairytale ending, but you're right, facing people after what you went through, what WE went through…" she paused as she saw Jody walk past the window inside the house. "It's so much more complicated than I gave it credit for being."</p><p>Dean put a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, please, Mia. You're the brave one. You managed to face the ghost of your mother. I'm shying away from telling a boy I like him."</p><p>Mia giggled a bit at that, the mood lightening. The two just sat on the curb for a little while longer, saying nothing.</p><p>Finally, Mia spoke and broke their silence. "I'm sorry, but I can't go back in there. And I can't keep lying to Sam and Cas, especially not if they ask me any questions about what just happened."</p><p>Dean squeezed her shoulder once before letting go. "I understand, and don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Just do me a favor? Walk around the block before you have Luc pick you up. I wouldn't want them to look out the window and see you get nabbed by Satan."</p><p>She laughed as she got up, extending an arm to help Dean to his feet as well. "Can do," she said with a smile, pulling the hunter off the ground. "Oh, and… thank you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For… all of this. I may not have got to see you fulfill your side of the deal, but just seeing you with your family made everything we've done for the last six years worth it."</p><p>Dean gave her one last hug before turning and walking away, disappearing beyond the corner, and Dean headed back inside.</p><p>The table was cleaned up, and the three of them were waiting on the couches, and when he walked in, their attention was immediately on Dean. Jody stood and walked up to him, worry on her face.</p><p>"Is Mia okay? Did I do something?"</p><p>Dean put on a reassuring expression, and he raised his hands ever so slightly as he spoke in a calming gesture. "It's not your fault, and she's fine. The noise just… spooked her a little bit."</p><p>"She was crying," Jody pointed out.</p><p>Dean sighed, unsure of how to explain all of it without giving it away. What was he supposed to say? Somehow the shattering of glass reminded her of the day her mother was murdered by an angel? Actually… that wasn't a bad thought. "Mia lost her mom, and it wasn't in a good or normal kind of way."</p><p>Jody returned to her seat as Dean sat down on the couch next to Cas, completely dismissing his usual attempt to put some "manly" personal space between them, now sitting only centimeters away from his leg pressing against the angel's. Though Dean was unaware, Castiel wished Dean had sat just a little bit closer.</p><p>"Two years ago, Mia was out with her dad on her birthday, and her mother was killed while she was away," Dean admitted. "Mia always wished she had been there, that she could have stopped it. I'm guessing the wine glass shattering was some kind of trigger for that memory."</p><p>"On her birthday?!" Jody sounded shocked and appalled. "How did it happen? Was it… your kind of bad?"</p><p>Dean glared into his lap, the memories and images of that night burned into his mind. All of the dead bodies of people he'd known for four years scattered across the cafeteria floor, the bloody bodies of children draped over tables and chairs. How he couldn't do anything to help or protect them from Ruth and her angels.</p><p>"Dean?" Sam asked, noticing his brother reverting into a shell. Dean glanced up and saw all three of them staring at him in concern.</p><p>The hunter cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yes, sorry, it was our kind of bad."</p><p>"What happened?" Castiel's voice was filled with concern and sympathy, and god, Dean loved him so much, which made this so much harder.</p><p>"She was killed by an angel," Dean confessed reluctantly. Cas stiffened, and Dean really wished he didn't have to be telling him this.</p><p>"Who did it?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"Dean…"</p><p>"I was unconscious!" Dean defended, but he quickly realized his mistake as he stared directly into Cas's eyes, still incredibly close to his own, so close that he could just lean in and…</p><p>Wait, shit, he accidentally admitted to being there when Mia's mother died. That was not part of the plan.</p><p>"So you were there?" Sam's voice came to his ears, sounding frustrated, but Dean didn't look over at his brother; he continued staring into Cas' eyes. It was like a contest at this point, the two of them staring, unblinking. Dean was scared, very scared at how emotionless the angel looked. God, it was like he was the Castiel in his dream from the night in question, the one who had no idea who Dean was.</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?" Cas finally spoke, and his voice was so low and soft that Dean felt seconds from bursting into tears. This was all so much easier when Dean was a universe away, just fantasizing about coming home.</p><p>Dean didn't know what to say. He didn't even know where to start to come up with some story about why he was unconscious somewhere while the mother of someone they had only met days ago was killed by some random angel. "It's… it's a long story. It's the reason I didn't tell you about Mia before!" He tried to think of ideas and lies to cover up everything, and they kept springing up in his mind.</p><p>But looking around, he knew that lying wasn't an option right now. Because that's not what they needed, and it's certainly not what they wanted.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Dean said instead, and the immediate change in expression on their faces showed that it did the trick. Because Dean was sorry, he was so sorry about everything that he had been through and had to lie about. He was so sorry that he couldn't manage to tell Cas that he was in love with him. He was so sorry that he couldn't save Jody's life.</p><p>The words were enough, by some sort of grace. Cas's challenging stare fell, and Sam turned away slightly, satisfied with the conclusion and not really wanting the lengthy explanation because he knew it would just make him feel guilty. It almost made Dean feel worse, they trusted him enough to leave well enough alone, but that was tough because he knew he was lying to them.</p><p>At that moment, all Dean wanted was to throw his arms around Cas and close the gap between them; he wanted to curl up into Cas's embrace and fall asleep in that position and never wake up. He just wanted things to be easier, and he wanted the few centimeters between them to vanish.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for the patience! Next chapter has a lot of one on one conversations and revelations :)</p><p>Also, just moved in! It's like 95 degrees (Fahrenheit) with no AC so it's hot as hell, but I'm attending college for the first time and it's seven hours away from home, so exciting and nervous!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. All the Very Best of Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam and Dean were in the kitchen, packing up some leftover chicken to take home with them, and Castiel was standing in the open doorway in the next room, staring outside, lost in thought.</p><p>Jody joined him, leaning against the doorframe opposite the angel. "You okay?" She asked gently. </p><p>Cas shook his head. "None of what we happened here today was okay, Jody," he snapped back, though it wasn't aggressive. He let out a tired sigh. "When did I stop holding Dean accountable?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"He told us something so suspicious and strange about a moment where he was dealing with angels and he was unconscious for some reason, and then he apologizes and all of a sudden I just let him? I don't ask any follow up questions?"</p><p>Jody shrugged, staring out into her yard, and at the horizon beyond the houses in her neighborhood. "He was sincere."</p><p>"Why is the sincerity of his apology enough to make me ignore that what he said was alarming?" Cas continued. "Dean has been different for the last few days, and I have more than a couple of reasons to be suspicious of him, but today I decided to let him keep secrets, in fact I told him he could." He turned to Jody, desperately wanting an answer. "Why did I do that?"</p><p>Jody took in a deep breath, still watching the sunset. "Castiel, can I tell you a story?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"When Sean and I were first married, he had a job that kept him away from me a lot," she began. "There was one day when he came home an hour later than usual, and then he continued to come home an hour later every night for weeks. All of my girlfriends told me that he was cheating on me, or he was going to a bar after work and getting drunk, that he was doing something wrong. And they constantly advised me to confront him. But I never did."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I trusted him. He wasn't a perfect man, of course. But I trusted him. And though I knew in my gut that there was a reason he was coming home late, and he was lying about that reason, I never asked him. Because I loved him, Castiel. I loved Sean more than anything in the world, so if there was something he wanted to keep hidden, or something that hurt him to talk about, I couldn't bring myself to bring it up, no matter how much I wanted to."</p><p>"Did you ever find out what it was?"</p><p>"Yes, he had lost his job and was too embarrassed to tell me, so he spent all day job hunting, and took extra hours away from home to overcompensate for losing his job, trying to convince me he was working even more. It was a good thing that I waited for him to come to me, because he was embarrassed and hurt, and he came to me eventually when he found a new job."</p><p>"So what does that have to do with Dean?"</p><p>"You love him, don't you?"</p><p>Cas froze, embarrassed and slightly panicking, but he couldn't find the words to lie, so instead he just bowed his head and nodded sheepishly.</p><p>Jody laughed at that, but her words continued to be sincere. "It's a good thing, Castiel. It means that you will respect that he doesn't want to talk about something, even though you want to know. It's because you don't want to hurt him, anymore than all of the things in his life already do. Because let's face it, you couldn't have possibly picked anyone more complicated to like," she teased lightheartedly.</p><p>Cas smiled at that, aware that she was right. And if the reason that he wasn't holding Dean accountable was truly just because he loved him, he could live with that.</p><p>"Hey guys!" They heard Dean's voice come up behind them and he threw his arms over each of their shoulders, squeezing himself between them in the doorway. "Talking about me?" He asked with a shit-eating grin.</p><p>Cas blushed and got all flustered, but luckily Jody saved him. "No, but of course you'd think that," she lectured, sounding very motherly. "Actually I was just asking if he knew if Mia was going to go back with you guys. She never came back here, but I can see she didn't exactly wait in your car."</p><p>Dean didn't move his arms, a small blessing for Castiel, but his joking nature dissipated.  "Right, yeah, she's not coming back with us. She'll be fine, she's a grown woman, and besides she's already spent plenty of time with us in the bunker, and done me plenty of favors already."</p><p>Cas had to admit he was right. Mia may have been the reason Dean disappeared for a day, but she also healed his broken leg and saved Max Banes' life. He didn't mind having her around, honestly, because she seemed to make Dean more… comfortable. As confusing as it was to ponder why Dean may be uncomfortable in the first place, it was still a good thing.</p><p>"I feel so guilty," Jody admitted as Sam joined them. "I wish I could have done something different, she reminds me so much of Claire and Alex."</p><p>Dean nodded, having come to that conclusion years ago. "You're definitely right about that," he agreed. "She's going to be okay, Jody. She just needs some time away from all of this crazy shit we've been pulling her through this week."</p><p>It was an honest statement, coming to a new universe had to be stressful, and Dean should have expected that.</p><p>They said their goodbyes and climbed back in the Impala, Sam insisting he drive because Dean drove the whole way there and must be tired, but Dean refused, honestly having missed driving Baby too much to ever pass up an opportunity to be behind the wheel.</p><p>Castiel sat shotgun as Sam laid out in the back, sleeping yet again as the sky turned black.</p><p>"Hey, Cas," Dean said softly, again as to not wake his sleeping brother just as he had on the drive over. The angel turned to him and Dean pointed out the windshield at the most brilliant and vibrant night sky he'd seen in a while. "Tell me about that one," he requested.</p><p>The dream he had in the river, all those years ago, where he imagined Castiel right next to him and his brother on the other side had always meant everything to him. And after using it this morning to calm himself down, he realized that he didn't need to just remember it fondly, but rather he could learn from it. His biggest regret had always been that Sam was asking Cas about the constellations, and the moment Dean finally tried, they had disappeared.</p><p>Cas perked up at Dean's request, obviously not telling which one he was pointing at and it obviously not mattering to Dean at all. As Cas went into a story about creation, he felt an odd sensation, a familiarity as though this happened once in a dream, or in another lifetime perhaps. If he relaxed enough in his story, it almost felt as though he were floating on water, but he had very little understanding as to why.</p><p>So Cas told Dean stories all the way back to Kansas, and Dean smiled the whole time, peaceful and finally beginning to feel satisfied.</p><p>They were completely unaware of a certain missing photo from Jody's shelf back at her house, and just how much trouble and confusion that missing photo would soon cause, but for now, the two oblivious men in love and completely unaware of their love's reciprocation were just content to have a few hours of peace on the open road back home.</p><p>-</p><p>After saying goodnight to the other sleepy people in the bunker, Dean went straight to his room and collapsed face first on the bed.</p><p>It wasn't even particularly that late, he'd definitely stayed up later on cases and on camping trips, but something about the last grouping of days was exhausting.</p><p>"Bad time?" The familiar voice rang out behind him, and Dean had gotten so used to him creeping up behind him for the last six years that he didn't even bother reacting with shock.</p><p>"Hmmmm," was all Dean said, his face still pressed into his mattress, refusing to stand up.</p><p>Lucifer laughed at him. "I'll take 'hmmm' as 'yes, Luc, come in, let's talk, my best and most wonderful friend'," the archangel joked, copying the tired hunter's unintelligible muffled groan.</p><p>Dean rolled over, lying flat on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, Luc's face coming into view. "What's up, my best and most wonderful friend?" He asked dryly.</p><p>Lucifer pulled out a box from an old leather bag that was slung around his shoulder, it looked so dusty that he probably just nabbed it from one of Rufus' closets in the cabin.</p><p>The box was a smooth, black, metal box, bigger than a jewelry or music box but smaller than something like a suitcase.</p><p>It looked a bit more… professional than Dean's own Ma'lak coffin. Both in craftsmanship and artistry with the symbols on the box, carved in and painted gold.</p><p>"It's beautiful," Dean acknowledged, taking it from Luc and weighing it carefully in his hands. "It's the finished product?"</p><p>Lucifer nodded eagerly. "Yep, and the necklace, vial, and blade are already in there. All we're missing is our literal key to Gabriel's prison in Hell, and we'll be set."</p><p>Dean smiled wide, staring at the box excitedly. "It will be over, Luc. It will all be over. No more worrying about Chuck destroying this world, and no more worrying about what he can do to us going forward." </p><p>"Dean, I think you should keep the box hidden here, in the bunker, in case something goes wrong," Lucifer reasoned. "I don't trust this… quiet."</p><p>"Quiet?"</p><p>"Haven't you noticed the… lack of retaliation? The lack of any angels or demons coming down on us?" Lucifer asked. "You made it seem like we'd have hoards come down on us."</p><p>Dean shrugged, agreeing with Luc's concern. "That's what Ruth made it sound like, but who knows?" He paused, thoughtfully. "Is any of this a bit… familiar?"</p><p>Lucifer nodded, rolling his eyes. "Trust me, I've thought about it too. Calm before the storm."</p><p>The calm before the storm, something Dean was used to by now. The outstanding moment however was the calm before the storm a couple years ago, when all of the monsters stopped attacking, the four of them would go on camping trips and contemplate how simple and calm things had become, until they weren't. </p><p>"The problem was, last time the calm was two years of peace," Dean reminded him.</p><p>The archangel folded his arms. "Yeah, and the storm was a massacre that wiped out half of our base, and killed Mia's mother," Lucifer added sadly.</p><p>Dean nodded along with the archangel sadly, and reviewed the box in his hands.</p><p>Sure, they had been beaten before. They lost a lot of people, but they did have a chance to end it. Or fix it, maybe.</p><p>Dean slid off his bed and got on his knees, pushing the bed by a corner and rotating it out of the way as Luc watched curiously.</p><p>He pried up a loose board from the floor underneath where the bed had initially covered, and there was a hidden, shallow compartment. There were already some things in there that Luc could see, certain photos and papers with scribblings on them, but on the top, clearly most recently put in there as it was least affected by dust, was the familiar polaroid picture taken at the party, the photo of Dean, Sam, and Cas popping champagne that Dean had carried around with him in his pocket for the last six years. Lucifer was almost surprised, realizing that Dean had finally removed it from his pocket and hidden it there.</p><p>The compartment was actually pretty large, larger than Lucifer had realized upon his first inspection, and after moving some things out of the way, Dean lowered the ornate Ma'lak Box into the floor and covered it with the board, it camouflaging seamlessly into the rest of the ground.</p><p>After reaching forward and pulling the bed back into place from his current position, Dean stood up and put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Now, should we talk about our plan for ending all of this?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ALRIGHT NEXT CHAPTER IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END! We've gotten all of the set-up and resolutions to early problems done, so now we're entering the part of the story you guys have been waiting for :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Still Some Big Deal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean and Kevin descend into Hell to meet with Rowena, but there seems to be someone else in charge</p><p>(Part 1 of 2 in Hell)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group of other-world stragglers had previously decided that when it came the time to find Gabriel's key, it should be Dean and Kevin who entered Hell to seek out Rowena.</p><p>Dean didn't want Mia going to Hell, period, long before her nervous breakdown at Jody's house. And bringing Lucifer into Hell may be their best bet at protection, but it only spelled out bad news.</p><p>The hunter hadn't forgotten Ruth's three year old warning, the one where she swore up and down that demons and angels alike would be out for Dean's head should he ever return home. And so far, Ruth was nowhere in sight and neither were any hoards of angels or demons, but they were like wasps. So long as you don't rattle the nest you might actually avoid them.</p><p>Bringing Lucifer to Hell wasn't so much "rattling the nest" as it was "using the nest as a piñata". The moment any demon felt his presence or even caught a glimpse of his never-changing messy blonde haircut, all the rest would slide out of the cracks in the walls like roaches.</p><p>Dean figured that after his wonderful and peaceful car ride with Castiel pointing out constellations, he couldn't afford to wait any longer, to endanger Sam and Cas any longer.</p><p>However, now that Dean had found his peace, it was a lot harder the following day when he snuck out in the early morning after only a few hours of sleep only to hop back in the Impala and drive to Rufus' cabin to meet with Kevin. He truly wanted so desperately to stay.</p><p>He wouldn't dare leave without a word this time, so he left a note in the kitchen claiming that he was just going to be gone for a day to seek out Mia and make sure she was fine, and that he would have his phone on him all day so they could call to make sure everything was alright.</p><p>As a happy little surprise, Cas called him when he was about forty minutes out, presumably calling him the moment he found the note.</p><p>"That didn't take very long at all," Dean said, putting his phone on speaker and tossing it into the passenger seat.</p><p>"Can you blame me Dean? Did you learn nothing from how your brother and I reacted a few days ago?"</p><p>Dean waved his hand through the air, even though he was conscious of the fact that Cas wasn't actually there in the passenger seat as he had been so comfortingly only hours ago. "Well, obviously, that's why I left a note this time."</p><p>"Why didn't you just have us come with you? Or tell us in person?"</p><p>"Cas, no offense, but the two of you sort of lack… subtlety."</p><p>"Oh, and you expect me to believe you have subtlety in spades?"</p><p>"Well, no, clearly not, but Mia is a twenty two year old girl. I've known her for years, I know how she gets, and the two of you aren't going to be comforting right now."</p><p>"... I don't like it." Cas was clearly hesitant but resigned as his deep voice crackled out through their staticky connection.</p><p>Dean sighed, genuinely agreeing with Cas' perspective on this. "I don't like it either," Dean added, and meant it.</p><p>He didn't want to do this without them again. Especially Cas, after how genuinely accepting the angel had been. Sam had just stopped suspecting Dean at all, perhaps that was easier, just pretending that Dean wasn't being suspicious and filling in the blanks with long stretches and lapses in judgement. But Cas, he didn't stop thinking, knowing that Dean was lying, but he decided to let Dean continue the lie, so long as he promised not to get hurt when he happened to be without Cas and Sam.</p><p>Now, Dean was without them, and he was currently driving to Hell. Give or take a few steps.</p><p>"So you'll be back by tonight?" Cas asked, and it didn't really sound like a question. More of a demand than anything else.</p><p>Dean smiled to himself and he tapped the wheel with his fingers mindlessly, his focus shifting between the road and images of Cas. "Of course," he unknowingly lied.</p><p>-</p><p>"So what, you just mix all this shit in a bowl, say some words, and poof we're in Hell?!"</p><p>Kevin was not thrilled with this situation. Sure, he loved Dean, he trusted Dean, but he also feared everything. Dean assured him that being scared of monsters and demons was perfectly normal and okay. But Kevin wasn't sure Dean understood exactly how many things scared him. He got the creeps from spiders, ladders, bodies of water, phone calls from unknown numbers, big dogs, spiral staircases, movies about aliens, driving at night, flickering lights, complete silence, and slightly empty department stores.</p><p>This life, with all these adventures, it wasn't what Kevin signed up for. Kevin just wanted to be a director, he wanted to make movies, so long as those movies were not about aliens or spiral staircases.</p><p>That's why he kept this one certain flash drive in his pocket at all times. He supposed he was taking a page out of Dean Winchester's book, carrying something precious to you in your pocket at all times, but he had to admit, he understood why Dean did it.</p><p>And if he died down there, in HELL, then somebody would find his flash drive, and hopefully it would find its way to the interested parties.</p><p>Though Kevin didn't own a particularly strong constitution, he felt he had some kind of moral obligation to help Dean, Lucifer and Mia should they ever call on him, and the one thing he actually wanted to do was something he could never do.</p><p>He wanted to meet Sam and Cas, he wanted to be there to see Dean reunite with them. Screw acting and movie making, that shit would have been inspiration fuel for a dozen scripts! The shere emotionality and vulnerability exuded by a man, usually defined by his ability to be strong and independent, suddenly thrust into the whims of a sort of soul-stirring, impassioned storm of feelings. Then take all of that juxtaposed with his inability to live it to its fullest extent because he is masking himself with a never-ending abundance of lies. He imagined that the concept was so complex that no actor could ever properly portray it on screen without having spent six years away from their family only to pretend it never happened. It was bizarre, and it was oh so intriguing.</p><p>But, the bizarre and intriguing always come with some sort of price tag that of course, Kevin couldn't afford. Figures, the one moment that Kevin had wished and hoped to see for years would be distanced from him because he was in an alternate universe where he had previously died. Just your average Tuesday, right?</p><p>Kevin preferred the emotionally complex to the physically taxing. He preferred fleshed-out romantic tragedies to high-punch action.</p><p>Watching Dean reunite with his family, more specifically seeing the man he'd loved for so long and not be able to say a word? Romantic tragedy. Kevin himself waltzing into H-E-double hockey sticks? High-punch action. And Kevin was not supposed to be an actor.</p><p>Somehow, life had become too complicated to be a movie. Now it was like some long, complex fanfiction. How did that happen? That wasn't supposed to happen.</p><p>"We'll be fine," Dean reassured Kevin. "If you want, you can stay behind and I'll go alone."</p><p>Kevin shook his head. He may be scared of going to literal Hell, but he wasn't about to let Dean go by himself. He needed back up, and Kevin would just have to be the one to provide that.</p><p>Hell was both alike and completely different from what he expected as they stepped into their little portal.</p><p>Everything was warm, and made of stone or metal. They descended a long staircase, that was SPIRAL, of-fucking-course. Dean led the way, and they were treading lightly and not saying a word.</p><p>As they went deeper and deeper into the literal pits of Hell, Kevin regretted the joke he made with Lucifer that morning. The archangel was going to take Mia somewhere to show her something, likely something intended to be therapeutic and make her feel better about her meltdown at her mother’s house. Why Dean ever agreed to take Mia to her mother’s house was beyond him, but he would never dare ask. That morning, Kevin jokingly told Lucifer that the angel had a harder job than Kevin, because Hell couldn’t possibly be more complicated than Amelia Mills’ feelings. He was beginning to think that notion had been just a tad premature.</p><p>“So…” Kevin started, trying to mask his discomfort with conversation. “Have you told him yet?”</p><p>“God, not you too. I just got Mia to stop asking about it.”</p><p>“Yeah, by forcing her into a similar situation that did some severe damage to her psyche?”</p><p>“Hey, it was her idea!” Dean protested, casting a glance back at Kevin who was managing to consistently be two steps behind him. “She made a decision that I warned her against.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it was convenient wasn't it?” Kevin muttered rhetorically under his breath.</p><p>Dean stopped walking for a moment to face Kevin completely. “Is there something you want to say to me Kevin?”</p><p>Kevin crossed his arms defensively, but he also felt really guilty and knew he couldn't justify being so abrupt and rude in the situation they were in. Kevin would never have to do anything as emotionally complex as the feat Dean was attempting to achieve. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t understand why you can’t just tell Cas you love him. He’s kind, right?”</p><p>“Well, of course-”</p><p>“And you trust him?”</p><p>“Duh, but-”</p><p>“And he cares about you a lot too, right?”</p><p>“Well, Kevin it’s-”</p><p>“Don’t you dare!” Kevin held his hand up to stop the now nervous and flustered hunter. “Don’t you dare tell me ‘it’s complicated’. You want to know complicated?” Kevin leaned forward with this newfound confidence. “Getting relocated by God is complicated. Living in an abandoned school building in the middle of the woods with a hundred other people is complicated. Befriending Satan is complicated! You know what’s not complicated? A person liking another person. Do you realize where we are? We are in Hell, Dean. Don’t play that “complicated” bullshit when we are on a literal spiral staircase, descending into Hell.”</p><p>Dean was admittedly speechless. Kevin had always been prone to occasional fits of confident ranting, but this time he had too genuine of a point to just roll his eyes at. Dean Winchester’s life was the most complicated thing on the planet, but when he thought about Cas, it didn’t feel complicated.</p><p>“Well?” Kevin was not letting this go without his verbal vindication.</p><p>“Alright, fine!’ Dean threw his hands in the air. “Enough lying about my feelings. Happy?”</p><p>“Which means what exactly?”</p><p>“I’ll tell Cas the second we get Gabriel’s key in the Ma’lak box.”</p><p>Kevin visibly perked up and Dean wanted to push him the rest of the way down the stairs. “Really? You mean it?” Dean nodded, and Kevin grinned. “So Mia has spent the last three days trying to convince you, to no avail, and I say one thing and suddenly you’re going to tell him?”</p><p>Dean turned and resumed walking down the stairs. “No, you both have just been nagging me too much, and I’m sick of it.”</p><p>“I’ll take it.”</p><p>The two arrived into a wide hallway, lined with sculptures, and with a large set of doors at the end. These were the kind of doors that loomed and leered, the kind that very obviously spelled trouble.</p><p>“The throne room is just through there,” Dean pointed out, though Kevin could put two and two together. Dean threw up his hand, hitting Kevin in the chest. “We should be careful, maybe just peek in first so we don’t interrupt her. The last thing we want right now is to lose Rowena’s cooperation.”</p><p>One of the doors was open a crack, so it was easy to peer their heads around and look inside, creating an almost cartoonish image as Dean's head was directly above Kevin's as they moved in sync.</p><p>The throne room was packed, there were demons bustling around from wall to wall, they couldn't even see the throne or Rowena from their position.</p><p>"Wait, those are demons?" Kevin whispered, confused. They just looked like people, they were all wearing different outfits, all just very different, but still human.</p><p>Dean nodded. "Yep, it's them alright. Them and the poor sons of bitches they're wearing to the prom," he told him. "Meatsuits," Dean clarified for Kevin's sake.</p><p>In the other world, they never had to deal with demons. Angels, sure. Monsters, far, far too many. But demons? Surprisingly inactive. </p><p>Dean had wondered where they were and what they were doing. True, he seldom left the base and the forest it was located in, but you'd think that he'd see at least one demon in his six year stay, one single rogue demon, but nothing.</p><p>A female voice commanded the room, stopping all of the demons in their tracks. "That's enough!" She shouted, sounding annoyed. </p><p>Dean's face instantly fell, but Kevin wasn't paying attention. "I guess that's her, huh?" Kevin assumed, still trying to catch a glimpse of her. "Wait, I thought you said she was Scottish…?"</p><p>Dean didn't answer, he didn't want what he heard to be correct. Because that voice, while familiar, was not Scottish, and definitely not Rowena.</p><p>Kevin watched carefully as the crowd of demons parted and revealed the woman, sitting cross legged on the throne, holding onto a long, thin weapon that was balanced on the floor.</p><p>"Shit," Kevin heard Dean whisper, sounding even more upset than he had a second ago.</p><p>"Uh, Dean?" Kevin prompted. "She doesn't have red hair."</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"She certainly doesn't fit what I expected."</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"Please tell me that it isn't… her."</p><p>"I think you've figured it out all on your own, Kev," Dean said with a sigh.</p><p>Shit. Ruth.</p><p>What the hell was Ruth doing, commanding hoards of demons, sitting on the throne of Hell?! She was an ANGEL. That's pretty much all Kevin knew about her, but still. He didn't need to know her well to know she was the monster that killed Jody on Mia's birthday.</p><p>"I should have known, I knew Ruth had something planned, but that lance is bad news," Dean mumbled out, now trying to be extra quiet as to not get caught.</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"It can kill Lu-" Dean's voice was suddenly cut off as Kevin felt him being pulled away.</p><p>Kevin spun to see what just happened and saw two alarming sights. One was Dean, clearly unconscious being dragged away, and the second was a very tall man with black eyes holding a rather large rock, raising it above Kevin's head before the world-or lack thereof-turned black.</p><p>-</p><p>Dean opened his eyes and found himself slumped in a chair, a chair that he knew for a fact he had not been in before.</p><p>"Hey," a weak voice came from beside him. Kevin. Dean whipped his head over to him, ignoring everything else in the room.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Dean asked, but his question was answered already. Kevin was rubbing his head, but he had a genuine, albeit small, smile, and he wasn't tied to the chair. To mention it, Dean wasn't tied up either.</p><p>"He's fine, dearie. I couldn't have you making a fuss," the familiar Scottish voice interrupted his thoughts, and Dean immediately turned to face Rowena, sitting on an identical chair, holding what looked like a cup of tea. "Sorry about the brutes, sweetie, but we both know how stubborn you Winchesters can be."</p><p>Dean chose to ignore her slight, just relieved to find her. "Rowena," he greeted, letting out a breath.</p><p>She smiled at him, and all of his memories of her came flooding back. "Dean. How's that darling Samuel? Not in Hell, I hope?"</p><p>Dean shook his head. "No, for once I'm alone."</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. "Not completely, though I'm going to assume that this wee man isn't a ghost," she prompted curiously.</p><p>Right, Kevin. That was definitely an interesting one to explain, in any situation. Dean knew that there was some Kevin Tran ghost strolling the earth somewhere, and this early-thirties version wouldn't fool anyone. "Yes, well, he's not the Kevin we used to know," Dean supplied.</p><p>"Nor are you the Dean we used to know," Rowena added nonchalantly.</p><p>"Meaning?"</p><p>This time she raised both eyebrows and looked at him unbelievably. "Seriously Dean? You think some angelic parlor tricks are going to disguise you from me. We have met, haven't we?"</p><p>Dean shifted uncomfortably. "So… what can you… see?"</p><p>Rowena rolled her eyes. "Please, Dean. I know that somehow your soul is about six years older than it should be. You've aged well, lad," she complimented jokingly. "I'm surprised that Cassie pulled it off, what with his fritzy powers these days."</p><p>There were a lot of things he was hoping he wouldn't have to mention. "Cas didn't do… this," he said, gesturing to his face. "It was something much more powerful."</p><p>Thankfully, Rowena didn't ask, she just sent him an intrigued stare before going back to stirring her tea. "So I take it you boys haven't gotten over your wee tiff?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You and Castiel! The last I saw of you, you could barely sit next to each other, grumbling and being all surly. I advised you two to get over it, did I not?"</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes, first feeling sad remembering their fight, but then feeling happy remembering their hug in Purgatory when they made up. "For your information, Rowena, not that it's any of your business, but we're fine now."</p><p>Rowena had a proud-annoyingly so-smile stretch across her face. "Your welcome," she added, sipping from her cup. This earned a failed-stifled laugh from Kevin, which earned a glare from Dean. "I like him," Rowena said about Kevin as the prophet turned away from Dean to continue his laughing. </p><p>Dean crossed his arms, but he was smiling so it gave everything away. He usually never felt comfortable in Hell, surrounded by some of the tallest, emotionless demons he'd ever seen, and even around Rowena he seldom felt safe, but compared to the alternative, he may as well be in heaven.</p><p>"Rowena, level with us, what's going on?" Dean leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Why did you sneak us out of the hall and take us to this… room?" As he was looking around, it was obvious this was not exactly a five star hotel, even by Hell's standards. Rowena didn't even have a throne. "Why is Ruth sitting on your throne?" He emphasized the word 'your', knowing this might be a sore subject and not wanting to be on the receiving end of any of her anger tied to it.</p><p>Rowena stiffened, and set her cup on the ground. "You know Ruth?"</p><p>"Unfortunately," Kevin answered for both of them.</p><p>She nodded solemnly. "I should have expected such. That ugly bitch dethroned me! With Chuck and that bloody archangel lance on her side, those spineless gits left me in a second! Except for my prized boys," she cooed at the demons standing around Dean and Kevin. </p><p>They were all very tall, and they all had long, light brown hair and… jesus fucking christ, they all looked a bit like Sam. Rowena surrounded herself with demons that looked like Sam Winchester. Only she would ever do that.</p><p>"Anyway, I was forced to flee, and now I'm hiding from hovel to hovel and I want that winged bitch out of my Hell," she grumbled, but sent Dean an inquisitive look, clearly asking Dean to help her out.</p><p>"I may be able to do that," Dean started slowly, drawing his words out. "But I came here for your help, and I'll need that first."</p><p>The witch collapsed back into her chair. "Typical Winchesters. Always wanting Auntie Rowena to fix their problems and never helping her in return," she said with an offended and tired tone, and Dean just nodded sheepishly in agreement. He remembered using Rowena a lot, and consistently keeping her at an arm's length instead of being grateful. They could have used a witch like Rowena multiple times in the last six years</p><p>Unfortunately, his physical admission was almost worse than continuing to take her for granted. Figures.</p><p>She immediately perked back up and leaned forward, eyeing him up and down. "Something happened to you, didn't it?" She guessed correctly. "The Dean I knew would have immediately yelled at me, or gotten defensive. I know that time must have passed for you, but what happened in that time?"</p><p>Ignoring her comments, Dean pressed on. "Rowena, we have a way to basically paralyze Chuck. Trap him, powerless in his human body."</p><p>She blinked at him, stunned and unable to say a word. Dean just waited patiently for any kind of reaction to gage where they stood now that he said it.</p><p>Rowena stood up slowly and started pacing the room, not making eye contact, and muttering under her breath. Kevin and Dean exchanged a glance as they watched her in anticipation.</p><p>She paused, and lifted a finger thoughtfully, turning to Dean. "You can… get rid of God?"</p><p>"Basically."</p><p>"If you get rid of Chuck… then Ruth will leave, right?"</p><p>"Not necessarily," Dean supplied honestly. "But if she wouldn't leave, believe me, we sort of know a couple guys powerful enough to get rid of her, which will be easy once she's already practically defeated."</p><p>Rowena nodded and sat back down. "Alright dearies. I'll bite. What do you need from me?"</p><p>"Do you still have the keys to the cages that Asmodeus used when he was in charge?"</p><p>"Of course," she answered. "But I'm not currently in possession of them. Ruth has the keys on a key ring attached to her ugly, preppy little suit," she growled out, clearly not a fan of the angel who dethroned her. "She's out to get me, the twit. She'll have me locked in those very cages… why do you need the keys?"</p><p>"The key to Gabriel's cage is the final object we need to defeat Chuck," Dean explained. "But if Ruth has it… I don't know," he glanced over at Kevin. He didn't want to put Kevin in any more danger. He had assumed that Kevin wasn't in danger, at least not any more than usual, but now that he knew Ruth was running things, this wouldn't be the milk run he'd been hoping for.</p><p>Rowena stood once again, her hands on her hips and a very confident, very trademark Rowena smile on her face. "We'll just have to take it from the bitch!" She declared. "Last I checked, I'm the queen."</p><p>Dean stood up, matching her excitement and meeting her with a firm and energetic handshake. "Yes you are, your majesty!" He said with a large grin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Feeding the Wolves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A familiar face joins their mission in Hell, but it does not go as smoothly as they hoped</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p><p>(You should listen to the songs for each chapter! They were my inspiration for the story!)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean, Kevin, Rowena, and three of her Sam-goons were standing in the hallway they had kidnapped them from earlier, taking turns peering into the crack in the door.</p><p>They didn't exactly have a plan besides getting the key ring off of Ruth, who was still sitting on the throne, holding the lance, and insulting and bickering with the demons that were flitting around the room aimlessly. It was so disorganized that not a single demon noticed the six unwanted people constantly poking their heads in and out.</p><p>“So, what should we do?” Dean asked the witch behind him.</p><p>“Don’t look at me!” Rowena exclaimed indignantly. “You’re a Winchester, don’t you lot usually just kick and punch your way through?”</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes at her. “We do usually have a plan.”</p><p>“Really? Could have fooled me!”</p><p>“I don’t know,” a familiar voice came from behind all of them. “I know how much you like kicking and punching.”</p><p>The group turned around to face the man who had joined them, still as tall and intimidating as ever. The three Sam-goons ushered Rowena behind them and readied themselves for a fight, but Kevin and Dean pushed past them.</p><p>“Raphael, what are you doing in Hell?!” Dean demanded, concerned more than angry.</p><p>Kevin glared at the both of them. “I think the real question is, what are you doing in this dimension?”</p><p>“You boys know this gentleman?” Rowena interrupted, pushing her way back in front of her demon bodyguards. “Do you think you could have this chat when we’ve taken the key ring back, laddies?”</p><p>“Rowena, this is Raphael, the archangel,” Dean supplied, knowing that she would change her tune once she knew they had a powerful ally beside them.</p><p>And change she did, she immediately came up to him, admiring him. “An archangel, amazing. Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”</p><p>Raphael tilted his head, his ever present stoicism still yet unchanging. “I believe you’re dead, or you wouldn’t be here, am I correct to assume?”</p><p>Rowena grinned at Kevin and Dean. “Oh I like him!”</p><p>“We’re getting off point here, Sean Mills and I came to warn you that-”</p><p>“Sean? Oh god, you didn’t bring him to Hell did you?” Dean interrupted, frantically looking around as if Sean were hiding behind one of the statues for some odd reason.</p><p>Raphael rolled his eyes, clearly getting increasingly annoyed the more time they were wasting. “Of course not, I sent him to warn Lucifer and Mia. Look, Ruth stole something from me, it was the lance of my late brother, Michael.”</p><p>Dean and Kevin shared a knowing look. “Raph, we’ve already seen Ruth, she’s literally only a few feet away from us, in that room. We know she has the lance. Not to mention, she doesn’t need it to kill us anyway, so if anything, you’ve just put yourself in danger,” Dean reprimanded.</p><p>The archangel shook his head. “If she has the lance, then she’s clearly set out to kill Lucifer, and she has more of a plan than you credit her for. It’s too dangerous,” Raphael added the last bit rather sincerely.</p><p>As much as he hated to admit it, Raph was right. Ruth had the lance now, a lance that he’d seen do awful, horrendous things to Cas. Just that memory of hiding in that barn made him shudder slightly, the way Cas was saying goodbye, the finality of it all. It was terrible, not one of their better moments.</p><p>Ruth could kill Luc with that thing, and if she caught them trying to steal her keys it wouldn’t matter if they got away with them, there would be no way to shake her and they’d lead her right to Luc. Sure, Dean was already in plenty of danger from her without it, as were Kevin and Mia, but he hadn’t really considered any part of this mission where Luc was in danger.</p><p>Lucifer was his best friend, he didn’t like knowing that he had someone out for his head.</p><p>Kevin, however, was not feeling the same. “You two have got to be shitting me!” He yelled at them, causing both to take a step back, fairly surprised at his now second outburst of the evening. “Dean did not drag me to Hell, and force me to go down a fucking spiral staircase mind you, only for us to count our losses now. Ruth is in that room! Right there! And she has the last piece of the puzzle. Now you’re here, and Sean’s somewhere out there, and we can finally put an end to God’s reign of terror without upsetting the balance of the universe, so can you guys for once act like the fearless warriors that you once were and get in there to save all our asses?”</p><p>Dean and Raphael were stunned by Kevin’s honesty and passion, and they just stared at him wide-eyed. Rowena broke the silence by walking up and standing next to Kevin in a physical show of support. “The wee lad’s right,” she added, giggling to herself as she noted that in her heels she was taller than him.</p><p>“You just want your throne back!” Dean said accusationally.</p><p>“Aye,” she agreed with no hesitation. “However, how many chances do you think you’ll get at this?”</p><p>Dean looked over to Raphael, with a conflicted look on his face. It was obvious he wanted to listen to Kevin and Rowena but wouldn’t if Raphael really didn’t want him to. But the archangel’s shoulders slumped in defeat.</p><p>“Alright, fine, but we need a plan,” Raphael conceded.</p><p>-</p><p>Maggots. The whole lot of them. Demons were disgusting, squirming maggots that begged for scraps in any form, and Ruth was disgusted.</p><p>She was an angel, she shouldn’t have to be surrounded by this putrid filth masquerading as intelligent life. It was awful.</p><p>Ruth was pissed and tired. First Castiel refused to spy on Dean for her, and then she lost that stupid red-headed witch bitch she wanted to lock up.</p><p>She was a damn angel! She shouldn’t be having these problems! And she shouldn’t be resorting to this, resorting to coming to demons for help. They were all so stupid, and when she took Samandriel’s advice and asked them if they had any ideas, she somehow trapped herself in an hours long brainstorming session with the dumbest minds she’d ever had the displeasure of encountering.</p><p>The doors were thrown open and three very tall, shaggy haired demons marched in, carrying a disheveled Rowena between two of them. Finally! Something good.</p><p>The demons parted like the red sea as the three guards brought her forth and tossed her aggressively to the floor in front of Ruth’s feet, and Ruth instinctively drew her legs back, not wanting the filthy Hell-bound soul to dirty up her shoes.</p><p>“Your majesty, we bring you the old queen of Hell,” one of the brutes said in his booming voice.</p><p>“Who are you calling old?” Rowena shot back, earning a swift kick from the demon on the other side of her. Ruth had to admit that brought her just a tiny bit of pleasure.</p><p>"Thank you, I'll see to it that you will be compensated," the angel lied, shooing them away as she stood from her throne, the lance still closed in her hand because she didn't trust any of these vermin.</p><p>Ruth walked up to Rowena and crouched down in front of her, resting her elbows on her knees as her curly hair bounced in front of her face. "Did you really think you'd be able to hide from me? You're just a dead witch."</p><p>Rowena cocked her head, not looking intimidated in the slightest. "Has anyone ever told you that you're gorgeous, love? If you weren't such an insufferable bitch who took my throne I might have wanted to-"</p><p>"Oh dear god," Ruth groaned, standing back up and rolling her eyes. "You don't ever shut up, do you?"</p><p>Rowena sent her a cheeky smile. "It's not my specialty, darling."</p><p>God, Ruth hated this. She hated all of it, she just wanted to kill Lucifer, then bring his head to Dean Winchester, then kill Dean Winchester, then bring both of their heads to her father and have him promote her and then she could spend her days watching the last two worlds end by his side, the way she deserved.</p><p>"Oh, dearie?" Rowena's grating voice interrupted her thoughts again. "I might be of more assistance than you think."</p><p>"I doubt it."</p><p>"I know where you can find Dean Winchester."</p><p>Ruth laughed. "Yeah, so do I. I was in his house not three days ago."</p><p>"Sure, but do you know where Lucifer is?"</p><p>Every demon in the room froze, and eyed their former queen suspiciously. Ruth stared at her with angry, wide eyes. "You know nothing about Lucifer, believe me."</p><p>"I know he's alive," Rowena supplied confidently with a glimmer in her eye. "I know that he's from another world, a world you came from. And I know he's here, and that he wouldn't like what you've done. I mean, I can't be the only one in this room who wishes for our Lord of Darkness to take over again," she said, clearly trying to get all of the demons' loyalties as she looked around nonchalantly.</p><p>"You listen to me," Ruth hissed as she poked the sharp edge of the lance against Rowena's throat. "I only follow the orders of one being. God. Does anyone here have a problem with that?" Ruth glared with a challenge in her eyes, scanning the room and locking eyes with all of the skittish demons.</p><p>"I do," Rowena mumbled, but Ruth pressed the lance closer to her which finally seemed to shut her up.</p><p>Ruth couldn’t believe this, the witch had the audacity to try and turn the demons in the room against her. Against HER. An angel. She was going to lock her up in one of the worst cages they had, perhaps the cage that the famed archangel Gabriel had been locked in.</p><p>But as she reached for the key ring on her belt loop, she was confused to find it wasn’t there. Why wasn’t it there? She kept it on her, didn’t she?</p><p>Unless someone had taken it.</p><p>Ruth jerked her head up and drew her lance away from Rowena, scanning the room of demons. Anyone of them could easily be a petty thief but Ruth knew the stench of a dumb Dean Winchester plan from a mile away. She studied everything she could about Dean from the shadows for the last six years, not to mention the stories she learned in preparation for coming to his own world. And Rowena was just the kind of distraction he’d choose.</p><p>In the back of the room she saw him, Dean Winchester, sneaking toward the door, someone following him, but she paid no mind to that, only to the shining key ring in his hand.</p><p>Ruth extended her arm and threw Dean against the wall, pinning him a foot off the ground, just beside the door he almost made it through.</p><p>She sent him a smirk as the demons in the room parted, leaving an empty floor between her and the hunter, squirming beneath her force. “Too slow, Dean. You should have died alongside Jody Mills, so it just feels tedious to do it again. If only Lucifer hadn’t gotten in my way and healed you, then maybe we’d avoid this whole mess,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “Well, thank you for coming straight to me. That makes it a whole lot easier.”</p><p>“Wait!” One of the tall, long-haired demons that brought Rowena in shouted. “You said Lucifer got in your way? Does that mean Rowena was telling the truth, is Lucifer alive?”</p><p>Dammit. Clever demon. Ruth did not ignore the fact that she believed Rowena’s capture had all been a ruse, so this demon and his two friends would also be in on it, and he was saying all the right things, because the rest of the demons in the room starting muttering amongst each other, sounding intrigued and suspicious.</p><p>“If Lucifer’s back, I say screw this angel!” A demon piped in from the middle of the crowd. The gaggle of roaches murmured agreements.</p><p>The demons no longer stood idle and watched, they began to slowly approach Ruth, obviously having no plan but just wanting her out, so Ruth glared at Dean one more time. “You!” She hissed as she threw the lance across the room, doing so in the split second before her path to the hunter became blocked by demons.</p><p>The lance flew through the air, but it didn’t strike Dean. Instead it whistled its way across the room and pierced Raphael, right through the ribs.</p><p>Ruth’s blocked view ended up releasing Dean and he slid back to his feet, just in time to catch Raphael from falling to the floor. He was alive, but he was gravely injured.</p><p>Before he could even attempt to drag Raphael’s weak body out the door, the three Sam-demons surrounded him and lifted Raphael between them, Rowena hot on their heels.</p><p>“We can’t distract her forever!’ Rowena shouted as the demons in the room grew louder and louder. “We must go!” Rowena grabbed the stunned hunter’s wrist and pulled him out of the room, following the demons that carried Raphael.</p><p>Kevin was waiting in the hall, and he joined them quickly as they ran away from the doors and the hall and began up the stairs.</p><p>Dean and Kevin took the lead, Rowena right behind them, and the demons and Raphael behind her as they bolted up the spiral staircase as quickly as they could. </p><p>“Dean, what happened to Raphael?!” Kevin panted out, hating the fact that they were running for their lives on a spiral staircase of all things.</p><p>“Ruth tried to kill me with that lance, but Raph jumped in the way,” Dean breathed, tossing a glance to Raphael behind them.</p><p>“Boys, I don’t want to alarm you, but Ruth is right behind us!” Rowena shrieked, causing Dean and Kevin to both spin to see Ruth a couple dozen steps behind the Sam-goons carrying Raphael.</p><p>They finally made it to the portal and Dean quickly ushered Raphael into Kevin’s grasp and pushed them both through. He beckoned to Rowena, hearing the heavy footsteps of Ruth and probably a handful of other demons who were not involved in the little controlled riot in the throne room, but Rowena stayed firmly planted.</p><p>“Sorry doll,” she said with a smile. “It’s hard enough to run in heels. My boys and I will buy you some time.”</p><p>Dean looked at her, shocked. “Rowena, she might kill you! At the very least she’ll lock you up!”</p><p>Rowena shook her head at him. “I can’t go gallivanting up there anyway Dean! I’m just a soul, remember?”</p><p>Dean felt guilty, too guilty that their makeshift plan failed to just leave Rowena here. “At least take this!” Dean attempted to shove the stolen key ring in the witch’s face. “If she locks you up in Gabriel’s cage then you can escape!”</p><p>“Oh Dean, this is too important. You have the last ingredient, so use it!” She pushed the key ring away. “Gabriel’s key is the long black one with the jagged bit. Lock away Chuck, and then maybe you can come back for your dear Auntie Rowena, okay?”</p><p>“Rowena-”</p><p>“Give Samuel a kiss for me!” Rowena added with a smirk as she pushed Dean away before turning to see Ruth, having caught up to them.</p><p>The last thing Ruth saw was Dean disappear through a portal with a guilty frown, and Rowena’s guards kept her from getting to it fast enough before it disappeared.</p><p>“Wrong choice,” she aimed at Rowena with a snarl. Ruth turned to one of the demons beside her. “Gather as many demons who weren’t in the throne room as you can, we’re going to stop them before they can get the key to the Ma’lak Box.”</p><p>Rowena laughed spitefully. “You’ll never defeat a Winchester, darling. Best to accept that now.”</p><p>“Don’t be so smug, Rowena,” Ruth said confidently. “They won’t last any longer than five minutes with what I’m sending them.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Middle of the Hill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two family reunions... one is not so good</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song titles are titles of Josh Pyke songs that fit the mood/theme of the chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mia sat on a bench during sunset, watching the birds fly in between the trees in the park, listening to them chirp and watching the people who would occasionally walk by.</p><p>When she was little, her mother used to take her to a park just like this one, a park with lots of trees and a view of the lake, and they would sit on the bench watching the birds and the people, and they would name them and make up little stories about them.</p><p>Mia was in over her head the previous night at Jody’s house. Dean knew what she was getting herself into, and he tried to talk her out of it, but there she was, as always, Amelia Mills, too stubborn to do what she was told.</p><p>Jody looked so much like her mother. It was Jody Mills, just not Mia’s Jody Mills. It was not her mother, and no amount of wishful thinking would change that fact. No wonder she freaked out so much, it was an insane situation to be in.</p><p>Lucifer appeared again instantly by her side with two bags of popcorn and Mia couldn't help but bristle in response. She never understood how Dean and Kevin were so used to Lucifer's teleportation-skills. It always freaked Mia out just a bit.</p><p>"Why do they sell popcorn out of a cart?" Lucifer asked as he popped one in his mouth. He'd been trying to take Dean's advice and eat food, but it was still impossible for him to taste it the way humans did. He still tasted every single separate ingredient, but he did come to understand why people loved it so much. </p><p>Mia tossed one into her mouth. "Lucifer, weren't you released from the cage like… sixty years ago? Only a little under seven of those years would have been spent in that apocalypse state."</p><p>She had a point, but after Michael died Lucifer hardly interacted with anyone for fear of them believing Chuck's lies about him being the devil. So he instead fixated on the lake ahead of them. "Sometimes I forget that our apocalypse started before Dean showed up."</p><p>Mia sent him a kind and understanding smile. "Dean certainly changed things around there. For everyone. He just made it all seem so much more… safe. Like when you skip a class for the first time so you're freaking out, but then one of the cool, well-respected kids is with you, so you feel less…" she trailed off as she saw him watching her with intrigue. "Sorry, I know, it's a high school thing. My mind's been on it a lot."</p><p>"Why is that?"</p><p>"Lucifer, I'm twenty two and I never graduated high school. What the hell am I supposed to do about that?"</p><p>"I'm not sure," the archangel responded honestly. He had no knowledge or understanding of the education system in any world, nor did he want to, it all just seemed confusing and expensive. "Perhaps you should ask Dean."</p><p>Mia laughed a bit and shook her head. "Dean barely graduated, and he hopped from school to school."</p><p>"You could ask Kevin."</p><p>"Kevin was a freaky genius kid. He has no idea the kind of experience I had or need to have, not to mention he has this whole holier-than-thou attitude when it comes to college because he loved it so much."</p><p>Lucifer thought for a moment, before deciding on the best potential candidate. "You could ask Sam."</p><p>"Sam?" She looked at him in shock. "As in Sam Winchester?"</p><p>"Unless you know another Sam, yes of course Winchester. Dean told me all about how he managed to score a full ride to Stanford after bouncing from school to school. He'd be perfect to help you out, maybe advise you a little."</p><p>Mia shook her head wildly. "That's a horrible idea. I see where you're coming from, but right now the last thing Dean needs is for me to have more conversations with his family. I sort of screwed the pooch there Lucifer."</p><p>“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘screwed the pooch’? Who are you?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Mia said with a laugh, jabbing him in the side with her elbow. “Look, it doesn’t matter now. I’ll stay away from Sam and Cas until Dean tells them the truth. The entire truth,” she added with emphasis.</p><p>Lucifer knew what she meant. She didn’t want to approach them until not only Dean telling them about the last six years, but also about how he felt.</p><p>Of course the archangel wanted Dean to be happy and in love, but he understood his apprehension a lot more than Mia ever could. Mia was confident and persistent, she nearly always spoke her mind and wasn’t afraid to face her demons. It was her own idea to seek out her dead mother’s doppelganger.</p><p>Lucifer and Dean weren’t like that, something Mia couldn’t quite understand. Lucifer could, however, because it just made sense. He knew what it was to constantly fear the reactions of those you care for most. His inability to meet Raphael for the first time in centuries three years ago was proof of that.</p><p>Still, feelings continued to be feelings, and love continued to be love, and Dean Winchester would continue to be Dean Winchester, and it would probably take a life or death situation for that to change.</p><p>“There you are!” An out of breath voice came from the path, running toward them. Sean Mills stopped a few feet away and bent down, clutching his legs with his hands, clearly trying to get his breath back, and clearly out of shape.</p><p>Mia and Lucifer both jumped to their feet, Mia meeting her father with a hug. “Dad, what are you doing here?! How… when… huh?!”</p><p>“I know,” he chuckled, but his face quickly shifted back into seriousness. “We came here to warn you, I insisted I come along to make sure you were alright.”</p><p>“Warn us? Sean, what’s going on? Is Raphael here with you?”</p><p>Sean nodded, and then shook his head immediately after. “Raphael is here, but he’s in Hell, searching for Dean and Kevin.”</p><p>“Dad what’s happening?” Mia asked with a scary amount of concern. She was already not a fan of the fact that Dean and Kevin were in Hell alone, but she had distracted herself by feeling sorry for herself following the events at Jody’s house, but now with the return of her father she was growing more and more weary.</p><p>Sean sat on the bench and Mia followed suit, Lucifer remaining standing but keeping a bit of a distance so as to not “loom over them” as Dean had pointed out the archangel was prone to doing. </p><p>“After you four left, Raphael and I were going to take the survivors to a new safe place, one unafflicted with the memories of that night. After about a day, we ended up having Raphael fly them to his cave in the mountains, and it took a while, but he realized something was missing. Something we think Ruth might have stolen.”</p><p>“What did she take?” Lucifer’s voice was icy and unfeeling, a scary kind of intimidating that the Mills were used to by now but dammit all if it wasn’t still just as chilling as it was day one.</p><p>“The lance of Michael,” Sean admitted, watching Lucifer’s face for a change.</p><p>And boy did it. Lucifer’s face fell immediately, his eyes were wide and his mouth twisted to an incredibly concerned frown. Mia and Sean looked at each other, more worried now that Lucifer was worried. Sean had been hoping that the archangel wouldn’t mimic the panic of his brother upon discovering the lance had gone missing in the first place. </p><p>“That’s not good,” he muttered, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the bench.</p><p>Sean sent Mia an unsure glance. “Lucifer,” he began hesitantly, “what are you thinking?”</p><p>“That lance can kill me,” he responded, more for Mia’s sake, considering Raphael probably gave Sean the whole “weapons made by an archangel can kill an archangel” speech earlier. Mia looked shocked, even though she probably could have come to that conclusion on her own.</p><p>“Okay, so we keep you and Raphael away from Ruth,” Mia suggested as if it was the simplest problem in the world. “Ruth was already pretty well equipped to kill me, Dean, and Kevin. The lance doesn’t exactly increase those odds.”</p><p>Lucifer rubbed the bridge of his nose, the gears in his brain very clearly spinning. “True, but if Ruth is here with the lance, then she’s here with a plan. I think maybe we should go get the Ma’lak Box and hide it somewhere better, just in case.”</p><p>“In case of what?” Mia asked nervously.</p><p>“Let me guess, in case of me?” A cheerful voice came suddenly from beside Lucifer.</p><p>A short man, probably a head shorter than Lucifer, had appeared, grinning at the three of them. Mia assumed they must have missed seeing him creep up on them.</p><p>“Sorry, this is a private conversation,” Mia snapped at the stranger, not in the mood to deal with this random stranger. He looked very odd, he wore sneakers and jeans with a blazer and button up, and had a short yet somehow unruly beard.</p><p>Lucifer was staring at him, eyes wide and expression unreadable. The man walked up and clapped his hand on the archangel’s shoulder. “Oh don’t worry, Lucifer and I go way back.”</p><p>Sean and Mia both stood from the bench, only Mia noticing Lucifer’s immediate flinch and tense up at the touch from the man as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Sean was less suspicious, assuming any friend of Lucifer’s was a safe bet. “Nice to meet you!” Sean said with his signature Sean Mills smile. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Chuck,” the man said with a grin, and now the Mills finally understood Lucifer’s fear and apprehension.</p><p>Sean stumbled back away from him and pushed Mia back with him. This was God, the God that had tried to end their world, the God who forced Dean away from his family, the God who commanded the angels that attacked their base and killed Jody, the God who locked Lucifer in a cage and lied to the entire world about why.</p><p>Lucifer stared at the man, completely speechless. He recognized his human form, this Chuck figure, because it had been one of his pet projects since the dawn of humanity. The only angels that had been “lucky” enough to see it had been the archangels, and here he was.</p><p>He hadn’t seen his father in years. “Years” wasn’t even touching the actual length to which their distance had extended, at least up until the day Michael rescued him and died for it.</p><p>Seven years ago, when Purgatory was unleashed upon Lucifer’s own world, he had half expected his father to reappear and kill him, or find a way to throw him back in the cage. After all, he had killed Michael so easily, so what was stopping him from doing the same to Lucifer now that he was currently the one standing in defiance of him?</p><p>“Say, Lucifer, I think it’s time we had a little chat,” Chuck said, ignoring the incredibly fearful looks from both the humans and his own son. “Some… father son bonding, you could say.”</p><p>Lucifer was unsure how to proceed, he wasn’t dead yet which was enough of a shock, but now he feared what his words could do to change that. However, he had no intention of sucking up to his father now just to spare his own life.</p><p>Dean had the box, Raphael was apparently with them, and Mia had her father. He didn’t need to worry about Chuck getting his hands on what was most important, so he had nothing to prove.</p><p>“Why would I want to go anywhere with you? I don’t owe you a thing.”</p><p>Chuck tapped his foot impatiently, as if not expecting Lucifer to put up a fight. “Maybe not, but if you’d like I could just take one of these two people with me instead,” he suggested, glancing over at the Mills.</p><p>“You wouldn’t dare,” Lucifer said, his voice threateningly low as Sean pushed Mia further behind himself.</p><p>Chuck rolled his eyes. ‘Are we really going to question my morality now? You think I’m above killing some measly people?”</p><p>Lucifer spared a quick glance at Mia and Sean. What could he do? Sure, he didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to do that to Dean, not when Dean finally had his chance at happiness again. He wouldn’t be the one to ruin that, but he knew that if Chuck killed him it would. And he definitely wasn’t about to let Mia or Sean get hurt on his behalf, that would only ruin Dean’s happiness and his own.</p><p>It was a lose-lose situation, but if Lucifer could spare anyone in any way, then there really was no real choice to be made, was there?</p><p>“Fine,” Lucifer submitted, earning a still scared but now indignant gasp from Mia.</p><p>“Lucifer…” she began, but the archangel held up his hand to silence her and Sean was already pushing her further away, not wanting to incite any divine wrath.</p><p>Chuck clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Wonderful! Why don’t you take us somewhere nice, huh Luc?”</p><p>“Don’t call me that!” Lucifer snapped, throwing any precaution he had to the side in an impulsive fit. Only Dean ever called him Luc, not even Kevin and Mia did. And they never would, because Dean was what was clearly most important to him, and they wouldn’t dare interrupt any of that. And if Lucifer was to march off to his own death, then he would not have someone steal the name that was special to him and tarnish it.</p><p>Chuck threw his hands in the air as Lucifer crossed the already minimal distance between them to rest a wary hand on his arm as to whisk him away from the Mills as requested. “Touchy touchy! But alright, Luc-i-fer,” he stressed the name before the two disappeared in a blink, leaving the Mills alone in the park.</p><p>“Shit,” they muttered simultaneously.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think you'll really like the next chapter guys... you also might hate me for it but there's some not so subtle destiel that I know you've been waiting for</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Late Night Driving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean, Kevin, and Raphael are in danger, but what else is new?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song titles are titles of Josh Pyke songs that fit the mood/theme of the chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean reemerged in Rufus’ dim-lit cabin, no longer any light flooding in through the windows, an annoying reminder that he was not going to be home this evening as he promised Cas.</p><p>He currently had more important things to worry about, as he saw Kevin struggling to keep Raphael propped up with only his minimal strength, so Dean swooped in on the other side and hoisted one of Raph’s arms over his back, leading Kevin and Raph outside.</p><p>“Where’s Rowena?” Kevin asked as they struggled down the rickety steps and back onto the dirt drive, making a beeline for the Impala.</p><p>“She’s not a human anymore, she couldn’t come with us,” Dean admitted begrudgingly, not happy about leaving Rowena behind with Ruth. He highly doubted that Rowena was still… in existence at this point… he honestly wasn’t sure what the death of a soul would even be, could they die? It was all too much to contemplate, and Kevin wasn’t asking any follow-up questions, so Dean decided he needed to push it to the back of his mind until they got the job done.</p><p>The two of them worked together to lift Raphael into the backseat of Baby and they had him lay down, his legs covering the space behind the driver’s seat and his head stretching to the middle.</p><p>“Okay, we need to go, and we need to go now. Like, yesterday,” Dean added hurriedly as he attempted to get his bearings. </p><p>Kevin looked at him with wide eyes. “Are we still in danger?”</p><p>“A hell of a lot,” Dean grumbled. He took a beat before reaching into his pocket and tossing his keys at Kevin, the man fumbling to catch them awkwardly, looking confused as all hell. “Get in the front seat, you’re driving.”</p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p>“Don't argue, just drive!” Dean commanded with no room for protest. Kevin opened and closed his mouth like a fish, but what could he say? Dean was already rounding the car to the passenger side and getting in the backseat next to Raphael.</p><p>Kevin got in the driver’s seat and started the engine, hesitating as he gripped the steering wheel.</p><p>“Kev, we don’t have time for this! You told me you can drive!”</p><p>“Yeah, I drove in college, Dean. It’s been like ten years!” he argued, but nevertheless he did so while putting the car into gear. Kevin understood why Dean had put him in the front, he needed to be in the back, making sure Raphael stayed alive, and everyone knew that Kevin was horrible under pressure. </p><p>Kevin pulled out wildly onto the highway, deciding that his lack of knowledge about road safety and overall good driving technique would fit this particular situation, so he may as well throw all caution to the wind and drive like there was no one around. Fortunately, for the most part, there was no one. The road was dark, with very few street lamps to light the path. They only passed the occasional truck going the opposite direction, but they were going too fast to even pick out the color.</p><p>Kevin was facing a lot of his fears today, spiral staircases, driving at night, so long as there were no aliens or ladders around, he figured he’d make it through. Dean always did say it was healthy to face your fears every once in a while.</p><p>But then it happened, the inevitable reaction that Kevin had his whole life to negative situations, a panic attack. His heart was pounding, he felt his skin begin to sweat, his hands were shaking, desperately trying to cling to the wheel, and then his breathing became tight and shallow and full of panic and distress.</p><p>“Kev? Kevin!” Dean shouted, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay, I need you to breathe with me, okay?”</p><p>Kevin nodded feverishly and followed along with Dean as the hunter went through some breathing exercises.</p><p>Dean was having a similarly unpleasant time, trying to calm Kevin down and hold Raphael steady. He needed Kevin to get a grip and overcome his fear long enough to get to the bunker.</p><p>"Kev, it's okay," Dean soothed from his position in the backseat. "I know you're scared, but we have to be scared a lot in our lives. It's what we do."</p><p>"You're… you're not scared… of anything," Kevin managed to get the words out, broken and still panicked.</p><p>Dean bit back a laugh; the situation was far too serious and tense to make light of it now. "Kevin, I'm scared of a lot of things."</p><p>"Like… like what?"</p><p>"Promise not to tell Mia or Luc?" Dean said pointedly, but even the calm request was starting to calm Kevin down a lot more, his hands stopped shaking around the wheel and the car's direction straightened out a bit.</p><p>"Lucifer doesn't know something about you?"</p><p>"I'm scared of airplanes."</p><p>Kevin's face went blank. He didn't even have time to notice that his breathing went back to normal and that his panic attack had ended because Dean Winchester was scared of airplanes.</p><p>DEAN WINCHESTER WAS SCARED OF AIRPLANES.</p><p>Instead of laughing outright, Kevin just stared out the windshield in shock. Dean Winchester wasn't scared of anything. He wasn't supposed to be. “You didn’t even tell Lucifer?”</p><p>"That's not the point, Kev," Dean supplied. "I'm scared of a lot of things."</p><p>"No, you're not. I am scared of a lot of things, and you are Dean Winchester, only scared of flying."</p><p>"I was scared down there with Ruth," Dean admitted. "I was scared every damn day I spent over in your world. Hell, I'm scared now."</p><p>Kevin was surprised to hear this. "You don't act like it. You've never acted like it."</p><p>"Because I've had some practice being scared, Kev. I've been scared since I was a kid. Scared to fail my father, scared Sammy might get hurt, scared that my entire life would be spent alone. But things aren't always black and white."</p><p>"What does that mean?"</p><p>"I did fail my father, but it taught me that I didn't need to listen to everything he said because he wasn't always right. Sammy did get hurt, but we always got through it, and it made us stronger brothers. And I'm not alone. I have Sam, I have you, Luc, Mia…"</p><p>"Cas?"</p><p>Dean glanced down for a moment. "I'm scared of that too."</p><p>Kevin finally got it. He finally understood what took Mia meeting her dead mom's doppelganger to understand.</p><p>Dean Winchester was human.</p><p>The concept “don’t meet your heroes” always made sense, but what are you supposed to do when you share a room with your hero? When you spend hours and hours with your hero every day? You were prone to learn more about them right?</p><p>But Dean Winchester wasn’t your typical hero. He was a tired, scared human, but living amongst a hundred tired scared humans made him seem like some sort of invincible god. Even Lucifer, who wasn’t human at all, always seemed a bit more attainable than Dean, because Lucifer would isolate himself to fly off and brood about his sadness and traumatic past. But when Dean showed up, he was consistently brave and kind and involved in everyone’s lives. But he was human at the end of every night when he looked at that picture he kept in his pocket at all times.</p><p>Maybe Kevin had forgotten, or just put aside for ease of mind, but his view of Dean Winchester couldn’t be what it was for the last six years anymore. If they were ever going to be able to move forward here, if they were ever going to have their individual lives, if Dean was ever going to tell Cas that he loved him, then that had to start with Kevin, Mia, and Lucifer.</p><p>They had to let him go from his position as a protector, as a leader. Otherwise, Dean would never tell Cas anything as long as he was still acting like he was in the other universe.</p><p>Dean noticed that after his admission of fear in an attempt to make Kevin feel better, Kevin did seem much better. He was gripping the wheel with a newfound determination that Dean did not expect to see from him.</p><p>Raphael twisted slightly, pulling Dean’s attention back as the archangel groaned, gripping his torso.</p><p>“Hey, Raph, you’re going to be okay, okay?” Dean said with a calm and soothing voice, refusing to let himself sound scared. “We’re going to find Luc.”</p><p>Lucifer wasn’t appearing in the car, which was a little bit worrisome. Dean had been praying to him nonstop since they left Hell, but he wasn’t responding. He was sure Kevin had probably done the same, but Lucifer was nowhere to be seen. That never happened before. Luc always answered Dean and Kevin’s prayers, and with the revelation that Ruth had a lance she intended to use to kill Luc with, it wasn’t sitting well in his stomach.</p><p>Raphael was clearly in a lot of pain, the black veins stretching across his skin just like Dean had seen on Cas the last time they had about with this particular weapon. “No…” he mumbled, now both his arms folded over the wound on his stomach as though he were nauseous. “She… she’ll kill him,” his voice came out stronger and more determined than before.</p><p>Well, Luc wasn’t answering anyway, so Dean figured it wasn’t the most difficult request to manage. “Okay, it’s okay,” he repeated, now basically being used as a pillow for the archangel. Not that he minded, it felt a lot easier and a lot safer to be holding Raphael’s head and shoulders on his lap, it helped Dean have more control over the situation as he was holding him steady and soothing him.</p><p>It was what he wanted to do when Cas had been hurt in the same way, to sit next to him and pull him into his lap and shush him and soothe him and never, ever have to hear him ask him to just leave him there to die.</p><p>“The bunker’s too far away,” Kevin decided. “I don’t know if Raphael can take these bumpy dirt roads for much longer, he needs stability and rest.”</p><p>“I agree, but we need to get this key to the Ma’lak box if we’re going to protect Luc,” Dean argued a bit, knowing Kevin was right but not able to abandon the mission because it was too important now. Rowena was going to be killed for what they had done, and he didn’t want her to sacrifice herself for what would inevitably result in nothing. However, holding Raphael steady was only a reminder that Dean desperately wanted to put his friends above their current mission.</p><p>Luckily, Kevin seemed to understand that without Dean having to say it because he didn’t argue with him on Raphael’s behalf. He’d known Dean for six years, he knew that Dean would always aim to put Raphael above this mission, but it just seemed hopeless. “I have an idea, but we’ll have to do it fast,” Kevin suggested.</p><p>“Go on.”</p><p>“Call Sam and Cas and have them meet us with the Ma’lak box. The sooner the better, because there’s a nice abandoned cabin nearby that Lucifer and I raided for supplies two days ago.”</p><p>Dean didn’t like it, it would be him letting them in on what was going on to some extent. They would find a mini Ma’lak box under Dean’s bed, filled with strange objects, only to meet Dean with the ghost of Kevin Tran and the ghost of the archangel Raphael. Still, Dean cared too much about Raph’s wellbeing to put his stubbornness in the way, so he pulled out his phone.</p><p>Checking the time, it was only eleven thirty-five, but he saw that he had dozens and dozens of missed calls from Sam and Cas both. Dammit, he remembered telling Cas he’d have his phone on him all day, but it didn’t work in Hell, and that’s where he spent his entire afternoon and evening, hatching schemes with Rowena. Not to mention Dean promised he’d be home by the evening and he was still about two and a half hours away anyway.</p><p>So he dialed Sam’s number and waited as the phone rang, Raphael’s groans of pain getting worse with each bump on the road.</p><p>“Dean? Hey, why haven't you-”</p><p>“Sam, I need you to listen to me,” Dean interrupted, knowing that he had no time for more excuses and lies at the moment. “Is Cas with you?”</p><p>“Hello Dean,” came Cas’ deep voice from the line, and it made his heart twist, just knowing everything he was going to have to explain to them tonight. All of the trust he could lose from them both. “Is everything alright?” the angel’s voice was concerned and slightly panicked and Dean wanted to hurtle himself out the window and have Kevin run him over.</p><p>“Listen, under my bed, there’s a loose floorboard, and under that is a hidden compartment. Inside you’ll find a black metal box with some engravings on it, now what I need you to do… holy shit.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t even finish his sentiment as he looked out the window and saw black smoke hurtling toward them from a distance. </p><p>“What the hell is that?!” Kevin shouted nervously from the front seat.</p><p>“Drive, DRIVE!” Dean shouted back angrily, his voice still yet unwavering but his resolve ever so slightly so.</p><p>Demons, damn demons. Ruth probably sent them out to finish the job. They seemed far enough away at the moment, but even as Kevin stepped on the gas, they still seemed to be gaining on them.</p><p>Priorities had to change immediately. If they died, Ruth could not get her hands on that box.</p><p>“Dean, tell me what the hell is going on!” Sam’s voice came through loud in his ear and Dean jerked the phone away instinctually. Right, they were still there and could still hear everything. Wonderful.</p><p>“Change of plans,” Dean said into the phone. “I need you two to protect that box. Protect it like your lives depend on it because they probably will. Tell no one about it, trust no one with it, don’t let anyone anywhere near it, do you hear me?”</p><p>“Dean, what’s going on? Where are you?” Cas’ spoke into the phone again, only more worried than last time, but Dean threw the phone down next to him, not even hanging up.</p><p>Kevin’s voice spoke up and Dean did not like what he heard. “They can’t open it, Dean.”</p><p>“What do you mean they can’t open it?”</p><p>“We made it so that no one can open it except us!” Kevin explained, at least having the sense to sound guilty. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, in case someone got a hold of it!”</p><p>“Please tell me that Mia is one of the people who can open the box.”</p><p>“... I wish I could.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me right now?!”</p><p>“Hey, I can’t even open it!” Kevin defended.</p><p>Dean wanted to smack Kevin upside the head but he knew it wasn’t his fault. “You’re telling me you two dumbasses made it so the one person left in the game can’t even open the damn box?!” He would have included Lucifer as being left, but Lucifer wasn’t coming, something was wrong. Hell, he didn’t even know if that meant Mia was okay, she just happened to be the only person he didn’t currently have proof was likely doomed like they were.</p><p>“Well, I didn’t think this would happen!”</p><p>Perfect. Even if all the pieces lined up, if Sam and Cas found them and found the keys and found Mia who could explain what to do with the key, no one would be able to open the damn box unless he or Luc would live through whatever the hell was going on.</p><p>The smoke cloud was growing bigger and bigger. “Stop the car,” Dean commanded, which earned an incredulous look from Kevin through the rearview mirror, but Dean’s stare was unrelenting, and Kevin slammed on the brakes, skidding poor Baby to a stop.</p><p>Dean clutched onto Raphael’s now unconscious body for dear life to keep him from flying forward in the seat and hurting himself even more.</p><p>“Okay, now I need you to run,” Dean demanded Kevin yet again. “Run into the fields and don’t stop running until you hit those trees over there, you understand me?”</p><p>“Dean, that's insane-”</p><p>“They don’t want you, they want me,” Dean argued with him, not willing to budge on the topic of Kevin’s safety.</p><p>Kevin was turned in the seat, facing him as much as he could manage now. “All the more reason you need to come with me,” he reasoned, but as he said it he understood why Dean wasn’t going to, as he could now see Dean practically cradling a sleeping Raphael.</p><p>Even so, Dean shook his head. “He’s hurt, and he’ll die if we recklessly attempt to carry him out. Our best bet is to stay in the car and hope it provides some… protection. Now go!”</p><p>Kevin hated himself sometimes. But he couldn’t leave. He had to let Dean go from his protector, leadership position as he realized earlier, and that meant staying here and not abandoning him to protect Raphael and face his fate alone. And it didn’t help that Lucifer wasn’t answering his prayers to just swoop in for the save.</p><p>"I'm not leaving," Kevin said firmly, copying Dean and doing the whole "voice never wavering" bit that he wasn't sure he was capable of before. And before Dean could interrupt him and argue further, Kevin narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows and added, "you would never leave me, don't ask me to do the same.”</p><p>Dean was beginning to hate Kevin’s newfound confidence, but there was something about him saying that that just stunned him too much to argue. Something almost… freeing, about it.</p><p>“You know what might… happen… right?” Dean wanted to make sure Kevin knew what choice he was making. Kevin just nodded and then pointed toward the seat next to Dean. The hunter looked over, confused, but saw his phone, still on. He picked it up and looked back at Kevin, and saw a very readable look on his face. “No...I can’t,” Dean said weakly, but Kevin’s face just spelled out the words “maybe, but you have to”.</p><p>Dean took a big sigh and lifted the phone to his ear. ‘Are you guys still there?”</p><p>“Dean what the absolute hell-”</p><p>“Where are you?! What is happening-”</p><p>“You can’t seriously think that this-”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have left! You should have just-”</p><p>“GUYS.” Dean’s voice was just as loud and commanding as it had been earlier, shutting up the two on the other end who were talking over each other. It seemed to work as they went silent for a moment.</p><p>Dean rubbed his temple, nervous and exhausted and scared. “Sam,” he began, his voice much softer than before. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?” Sam’s voice was exasperated and upset.</p><p>“For a lot of things, for all those decisions I’ve made that have hurt you. I never wanted to, you’re my little brother, and I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Dean, you’re scaring me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry for that too,” Dean responded with a little laugh.</p><p>The old, tired hunter looked out the window once more to see the smoke cloud grow larger and larger, maybe a minute away from destroying this car and everyone in it, and all he could think about was how he couldn’t possibly die before fulfilling his end of the deal with Mia.</p><p>He wouldn’t die letting Cas think he didn’t love him as much as he could.</p><p>Dean tightened his grip around Raphael as if his unconscious friend was going to offer him support just by lying on his lap. “Cas?” Dean’s voice came out even quieter and squeakier than he had been before, and definitely more than he intended.</p><p>“Dean,” Cas’ voice was threateningly low, and it made Dean’s eyes tear up. He knew what he was about to do, and what would happen to him, and how much he hated that he let Cas down again.</p><p>“I’ve let you down,” Dean repeated his thoughts, his voice cracking. “And I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. And I should have told you before, I should have told you the second I got back, but…” he was choking on his own words.</p><p>The smoke cloud was now dangerously close, hurtling toward them. He had seconds, maybe.</p><p>He curled his body over Raphael to try and protect him as Kevin dove to the floor in the front. Dean had one arm wrapped around Raph’s shoulders and across his chest, and the other clutching the phone and squeezing it dangerously tight as if it were more precious to protect than himself. Because it was. It was Cas on the other line.</p><p>“I love y-”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay so we finally have our Destiel progress! I know it's probably not as much as you hoped, but I needed it to be short and dramatic, next chapter we'll go straight to Sam and Cas so you'll see how it plays out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Someone to Rust With</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel and Sam are left with a confusing phone call from Dean and a strange box beneath his bed</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The phone lying alone on the table between them produced a loud jumble of static and unintelligible noises that Castiel and Sam had no way of interpreting, they only knew it was loud, chaotic, and bad.</p><p>Sam put his hands over his mouth as he stood up quickly and walked a few steps away, shocked, and trying to process what they just heard. From what they could manage out of that phone call, Dean was in a car that someone else was driving, they saw something bad, bad enough that Dean wanted the driver to get out of the car and run away, but the driver refused to leave him behind. And there was someone hurt or dying in the car too, so Dean wouldn’t leave, and then he said goodbye.</p><p>He just said goodbye! With no explanation to whatever the hell happened! It was very on-brand but very, very concerning. </p><p>Sam didn’t want to think about the idea that he may have just listened to his brother die.</p><p>Cas was still at the table like before, unmoving and speechless, his expression unreadable. Sam did not want to imagine what was going through that poor angel’s head right now. And while there was a part of Sam cheering on the inside for what Dean was attempting to say right before the loud static noises, most of him was overwhelmed with fear for his brother, and what the static noises entailed.</p><p>But oh, to pick that angel’s brain at the moment.</p><p>Castiel sat at the table, hands folded, shaking ever so slightly. Was Dean… he couldn't be… even this cruel world with all its twists and turns and turmoil wouldn’t let something as vile and wicked as Dean’s death happen. Okay, perhaps it had, on several occasions, but Dean had always been fine. Or more accurately, he had died for the express purpose of being (or the express promise to be) brought back to life.</p><p>He thought he might crumble to the floor and sob, lose his mind over what had just seemingly unfolded, but something stopped him. A warmth, where he wasn’t expecting one.</p><p>There was no emptiness.</p><p>Every time Dean was out of reach, every damn time, Cas felt hollow and empty in his chest. But it wasn’t there, he just felt the normal warmth that kept him calm and normal.</p><p>Dean couldn’t be dead.</p><p>Though that was an incredibly relieving realization, it did raise more than a few questions about what exactly happened to Dean four days ago, because there was no mistaking it, that empty feeling had been there for twenty-four hours then. And if he knew with certainty that the lack of emptiness implied Dean was alive, then the presence of emptiness implied he hadn’t been or had at least been god knows where.</p><p>“Cas?” Sam got his attention, his voice hesitant. “Are you okay?” Sam himself was not okay, very far from okay, but they needed to talk about what happened and decide a course of action.</p><p>The angel turned to him with a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless, which made Sam incredibly confused. “He’s alive, Sam. I feel it,” Castiel gently rubbed at his sternum, and Sam’s eyes widened as he understood the implication.</p><p>“So that means…”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“But wait, then that would mean…”</p><p>“Unfortunately,” Cas responded, replaying his own mental journey through Sam.</p><p>Sam just huffed and slumped back down in the chair, staring at the phone as though it held the answers to all of their questions. Dean wasn’t dead, that should bring him comfort. It did, honestly, but Sam was only comforted by Castiel’s own surety. Sam wasn’t entirely certain how to trust Cas’s weird empty-chest feeling. He knew it meant something, it had to mean something, otherwise Cas wouldn’t have felt it consistently with moments where Dean was dead or inaccessible somehow, but since that was true, then what the hell happened to Dean a few days ago?</p><p>Castiel wasted no more time before standing and marching down the hallway. Sam called after him and followed, confused.</p><p>When Cas turned into Dean’s room, Sam realized why he went in there and pushed past the angel to shove the bed over, making loud screeching sounds against the hardwood floor.</p><p>Cas got on his knees and felt the boards that were underneath the bed. Low and behold, one particular board was loose and he pried it up and tossed it aside.</p><p>Sam crouched on the floor across from him and immediately picked up the beautiful, shiny black box that was on top. There were other things in the little floor compartment, but none as fancy or interesting as the box.</p><p>“Why do you think he wanted us to protect this with our lives?” Sam asked, curiously rotating the box in his hands. “He seemed pretty urgent about it on the phone.”</p><p>Yes, the phone. The phone call where Dean was saying to protect the box. The phone call where Dean said goodbye. The phone call where Dean said he loved… no. This box was no ordinary box, and Castiel viewed it with dread.</p><p>“It’s a Ma’lak box,” Cas supplied, his tone deadpan and low.</p><p>It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that Cas was not a fan of the Ma’lak box. Dean and Billie’s dumb and horrible plan to trap Michale by suffering in a coffin at the bottom of the sea was quite possibly the worst future Cas could have ever envisioned. Honestly, he hadn’t ever been sure what he would have done was Sam to agree to let Dean do that. Cas wasn’t about to let that happen, but if he couldn’t stop it? He’d rather sit on the seafloor and wait next to him for all eternity, trying to provide some comfort. Just the thought of Dean going crazy, being tortured by Michael was enough to make Cas go crazy with him.</p><p>This box was clearly no coffin, however. It was nowhere near large enough, and it was definitely better crafted than the one Dean scraped together in a shed, implying that Dean didn’t even make it, perhaps he had come into possession of it instead.</p><p>Sam’s eyes went wide and he immediately looked back at the box, trying and failing to open it. “Why does he have this? And why is it so important? And why can’t I… get this damn thing… open?!” Sam was practically out of breath in his last sentence as he was using all his strength to try and pry it open, to no avail.</p><p>Cas knew his angelic strength wasn’t all that it used to be, but even if he was at full power he knew he wouldn’t be able to open it so he didn’t even try. In addition to the symbols that were there as wardings to keep things both out and in, there were some that he didn’t recognize clearly. The only thing he could tell was that it was not meant to be opened by either of them.</p><p>“I may be crazy,” Cas began warily, “but that looks like the unmistakable work of an archangel.”</p><p>Sam raised an eyebrow. “You think Michael and Adam made this?”</p><p>“I don’t see a reason why they would,” Castiel supplied. He leaned in closer, to which Sam simply handed it to him. Examining it up close led to a surprising result. “Sam, it’s signed.”</p><p>“What, like the archangel left his autograph?” Sam joked.</p><p>“Warding work varies between archangels,” Cas offered in response. “I was well-versed in their writings, but this is irregular, like a completely different archangel. But every archangel signs their work, not literally of course, but through their symbols and sigils.” He narrowed his eyes. “Somehow… this was done by Lucifer.”</p><p>Sam instinctively scrambled to his feet. “Lucifer’s dead,” he said quickly.</p><p>Cas’s first thought was of his conversation with Ruth outside the hospital where Max Banes was when Ruth threatened to use Michael’s lance on Lucifer. How he had the same reaction Sam had. But he wasn’t willing to believe Lucifer was alive, because there was something that wasn’t right about any of this.</p><p>“I don’t know when it was made,” Castiel replied, “but it’s Lucifer’s work, with some alterations, some variations like it’s just not quite… right.”</p><p>“But it is Lucifer?”</p><p>“Undoubtedly. Just, not the same as it was when I studied his work.”</p><p>“Is there a reason we can’t open it?”</p><p>“I believe so,” Cas said. “I’m just not sure why. But I’m guessing Dean knows a lot more about this than I do.”</p><p>“Well,”  Sam began, not wanting to let it rest any longer. “We know he was in a car, right? Maybe we should scan for… car accidents nearby?”</p><p>Castiel’s face fell yet again. Right, there was that one little detail he forgot. Just because he could feel that Dean was alive did not mean that he was okay. Once again, Cas felt that familiar worried feeling, the one where he felt nauseous and wanted to be out somewhere doing something, anything to quell the negativity.</p><p>The angel simply waited patiently as they put the box back where they found it and Sam dug out their old police scanner. Castiel thought on the phone call a bit more. Particularly, the last bit. Even more particularly, what it meant or did not intend to mean.</p><p>Even as the two loaded into the truck they had just been in four days ago, doing the same task, searching for Dean fucking Winchester, Castiel couldn’t stop thinking about it. And apparently neither could Sam.</p><p>They drove around aimlessly for about two hours, waiting to pick anything up on the scanners. But it only took a few minutes before Sam couldn’t take it anymore. Putting aside his worry for his brother and his confusion and his anger, in his heart he was just a curious little brother who would stick his nose wherever he damn pleased.</p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>“Yes, Sam?”</p><p>“Do you… do you want to talk about what Dean said?”</p><p>Cas looked over at him but once again his expression was unreadable. “Sam, your brother has always been apologetic. You know how he doesn’t like to forgive himself.”</p><p>It took Sam a moment before he even knew what Cas was saying to him. “Wait… no, Cas, I’m not talking about what he said to me! I’m talking about what he said to you.”</p><p>The angel returned looking straight out the windshield. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.”</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>“Well, it was hard to understand what he was saying, need I remind you of the telling noises emitted from the call, implying there had been some sort of accident?”</p><p>“Cas, we still heard what he said,” Sam added exasperatedly.</p><p>“I didn’t,” Cas replied, knowing that what he had actually heard could in no way be what Dean had meant to say.</p><p>“Cas!” Sam yelled back, just as stubbornly.</p><p>The angel had to use all his self-control not to roll his eyes, even though he knew that he was the one being difficult. “Okay, yes, I heard him, he was telling me how much he respected me as a friend.” That had to be what Dean meant. Even if he did say what Cas thought he heard, that had to be what Dean meant by it.</p><p>Sam however was not letting this go. Maybe it was the last eleven years of sitting in between these two idiots and having to watch them argue and fight and push each other away when they could have just been honest and then eventually happy.</p><p>There was almost no way that Castiel and Dean could have been more obvious, in Sam’s opinion. Half of the fights they would get into were fights you could only have when there was passion, and half of their falling outs were because they were mad at one another for not treating themselves well! They cared so much about one another’s wellbeing, that they would avoid each other weeks out of sheer stubbornness. It was getting ridiculous, and Sam desperately wanted this really long pining period to be over, for good.</p><p>That had been the most concerning part of the call, in all honesty. Sam always assumed that if they were ever going to end up together, Cas was going to have to be the one to say something. After all, the only other time Dean took what he wanted in love was with Lisa, and that had only happened because he had just watched his brother be possessed by the actual devil and then thrown into the pit. It was… gruesome, to say the least.</p><p>Obviously, there was no Lucifer around to push Dean into that position again, so Sam always thought that Cas would have to make the first move, but then he learned that Cas was just as stubborn as Dean, if not more so, and he had lost hope.</p><p>But apparently, Dean had been in a situation where he needed to say it. Not that Dean hadn’t had ample life or death scenarios to say it before, so clearly there was something else that changed Dean’s mind prior to the idea of dying. Something that obviously resulted in Dean deciding that someday he wanted to tell Cas how he felt, it just so happened that someday was an hour ago, in the middle of the night, right before some sort of scary-sounding disaster.</p><p>So, all in all, Sam was not going to take any of Cas’ bullshit. “Oh really, Cas? I must have misheard him because I don’t remember Dean saying, ‘Cas, I should have told you the second I got back… I respect you as a friend!” Sam almost mimicked Dean’s sincerity in the first half, the speech he stole from the phone call verbatim that he had his own questions on, but questions that could be addressed after he got Cas to admit what happened.</p><p>Castiel sighed, it did sound a bit ridiculous when Sam worded it like that, but he was clearly still in denial about it all. ‘What do you want me to say, Sam?”</p><p>“I want you to understand what he said!” Sam sounded offended, and he partially was, on Dean’s behalf. ‘What if you’re wrong, Cas, about him being alive, and you spend the rest of your life lying about what his last words to you were? That wouldn’t be fair to him.”</p><p>“He didn’t mean them!” Cas shot back, uncomfortable with the corner Sam was pinning him in, so admitting it seemed the best way out. Yes, Dean said “I love you”, or at least tried to. But he couldn’t have meant it.</p><p>“I beg to differ!” Sam shot back, his voice comically argumentative to attempt bridging the gap between reality and the angel’s perception of it.</p><p>Sam’s words, coming out as though the comment was obvious, did catch Cas’ attention. “Why…?” Cas asked hesitantly.</p><p>Why. What a dumb question. Sam had a hard time believing that his brother wasn’t incredibly obvious all of the time. How could Cas not notice Dean’s eyes would always drift to him? Or the way that Dean acted when they were in a fight? How could anybody not understand what that meant?</p><p>“Come on Cas,” Sam prompted. Even though he always found it incredibly obvious, now that Cas was staring at him while they were driving down the road, Sam suddenly felt uncomfortable speaking his mind, as if he was going to give away private information or something. “Dean’s always… he just… around you…” Sam couldn’t seem to find the words, because every thought he had just seemed too personal to share, even though they were only third party observations. Finally, he stopped stuttering and glanced over at Cas. “Did you want him to mean it?”</p><p>That was really the only question that mattered. Dean put his feelings out on the table, but Castiel hadn’t. And though Sam found it hard to believe he was ever wrong about those two before, suddenly at the moment he had doubt creep into his mind.</p><p>But the flustered, blushing, embarrassed look that flashed across Castiel’s face wiped all the doubt away once more, as Cas clearly didn’t know how to answer, but it was obvious the answer was yes.</p><p>“I… don’t know what to say,” Cas responded honestly in lieu of just admitting it aloud. Now he had all but confirmed it, he just wasn’t sure if saying yes was something Sam was expecting, and he wanted to be sure Sam suspected it before he said it. Obviously, Sam was expecting it though from his lack of a reaction.</p><p>“Say yes or no, Cas.”</p><p>“Yes. I want him to have meant it. I want that more than anything in the world,” Cas admitted. “Is that… bad?”</p><p>Sam shook his head, feeling a weird sense of vindication now that he heard both of them admit he had been right all these years. “Of course not, Cas.”</p><p>“But I know Dean,” Cas said firmly. “Dean isn’t the type of person who would… reciprocate that.”</p><p>“I know Dean too, Cas, he’s my brother,” Sam pointed out. “And it’s obvious enough that you make him happy. You know that, don’t you?”</p><p>He honestly did not. Castiel always sort of assumed that he was a bit of a burden at times, like Dean didn’t really want him to live with them at the bunker, that he was just being nice. </p><p>Seeing Cas’ confused and surprised (but delightfully so) expression compelled Sam to keep going. “He’s sad when you’re away from the bunker for too long, and he prematurely panics every time you don’t pick up your phone after the first two rings. When you’re not around you will come up in conversation all the time, no matter what we’re talking about. And I’m sorry Cas, you know you’re my best friend, but I am not out there bragging to complete strangers about how amazing I think you are,” Sam finished with a laugh.</p><p>Cas laughed a bit at that comment too, but he was mostly just in shock. “Dean really… he does all of that?”</p><p>Sam nodded knowingly. “Yeah, just as much as you.”</p><p>“What? I don’t-”</p><p>“Cas, don’t make me use your full name.”</p><p>“Fine,” Cas said, defeated. “Maybe I’m a bit more… obvious than I mean to be.”</p><p>Sam’s face darkened again, coming back down from that brief, light pause they had. “Yeah, if only Dean could’ve seen that.”</p><p>“I thought he did,” Cas replied, confused. “I assumed that was why he said he loved me on the phone.” God, those words felt weird coming out of his mouth.</p><p>But Sam just rolled his eyes. ‘Oh please, the only people you two successfully fool are yourselves. This conversation we’re having? Where I had to convince you Dean really does love you? I would have to have the same conversation if this happened the other way around. And I severely doubt that Dean would have believed me as quickly as you did.”</p><p>That was another surprise that Cas hadn’t been expecting, the idea that Dean wouldn’t know how much he loved him. Perhaps Sam had a point though, if Sam himself had been in on it since the beginning then maybe they were both being a little more obvious than they intended to be.</p><p>It was a weird feeling. It was a good feeling, an amazing one, one that made Cas want to look out the window and just smile and never stop smiling for the rest of eternity, but Dean wasn’t here, and they didn’t know where he was, and what Dean said on the phone had definitely been a goodbye.</p><p>Castiel hated goodbyes. And he wasn’t going to let that be a goodbye. Because if what Sam said was true, then that meant Dean said “I love you” thinking that Cas didn’t love him back. And it made the angel sick to think he lived in a world where Dean Winchester didn’t understand just how much Castiel loved him.</p><p>But of course, it was then that the police scanner went off.</p><p>“Requesting a 10-78, we’ve got a 20 on our hands on Manila Road, six miles from the exit, reporting an 11-24.” A deep male voice crackled out through the radio.</p><p>“10-4, I’m on route,” a female voice responded, a little bit clearer than the first voice.</p><p>“A 20 is a car accident,” Sam remembered. “But I think 11-24 is an abandoned vehicle.”</p><p>Cas paused thoughtfully. “Manila Road, that’s probably thirty minutes from here, two more hours from the bunker.”</p><p>Sam shrugged, already picking up the pace, the grumbling of the old truck growing louder. “It’s worth a look. We don’t have anything else to go on.” Cas nodded in agreement and Sam tossed a look into the backseat. “Hey Cas, do we have Fed suits in here?”</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. The Summer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel and Sam go to the scene of the accident, where they are given two curious pieces to the puzzle</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The scene of the accident wasn’t exactly hopeful. Strange, yes. Tragic, definitely. The Impala? Crushed and destroyed, so much that it took Sam a moment to even recognize it at all.</p><p>They had changed at a gas station and took no hesitation between parking the truck and racing down the hill into the tall grass where the car had seemingly been hurtled off the dirt road.</p><p>There was a big burly cop there to stop them before they got too close, but they could see the scene well. There was only about five cops total, including the bouncer holding them back. Besides the cops, two women were standing around, and it was easy to tell from their hunting experience that they must have been witnesses. They wore normal clothing and were holding themselves awkwardly. One specific woman with curly red hair looked particularly sad and concerned, and Sam immediately filed her away as the best witness to talk to before turning back to the bouncer.</p><p>Cas did not like that someone was standing in the way of him and Dean, although it was clear that Dean was nowhere around. In fact, neither were any of the people that must have been in the car with him. Only the cops and the two women. Regardless, Castiel needed to find out where Dean was and now.</p><p>Simultaneously they both pulled out their fake badges and they even fell open at the same time. The bouncer cop, who could now be identified by his nametag as Trooper Wagner, looked surprised and then a little proud.</p><p>“Whoa, you some big city fellas huh? Why y'all here for an accident? And how in the sam hell did y’all get here so quick?”</p><p>Luckily, lying on the spot was becoming a sort of a sport for them. Sam unlocked his phone and quickly pulled up a picture of Dean, pushing it a little too close to the trooper’s face. “He’s one of us, and this was his car. Where is he?”</p><p>Trooper Wagner took a step back, even though he was definitely bigger than Sam, he was definitely still intimidated to some extent. “Whoa nellie, we ain’t seen any people here. It was just this car, and those women who done called it in. Why don’t I let y’all talk to ‘em?” And he moved out of the way, letting the two scary Feds storm through.</p><p>When they flipped their badges up this time, the woman questioning the red-haired woman just scattered, leaving her alone with them. </p><p>“Are you guys really Feds?” She asked, seeming intrigued.</p><p>“Did you see what happened?” Cas asked without bothering to answer her question.</p><p>The girl shook her head, her eyes widening. "No, and I have absolutely no idea how to explain what I did see."</p><p>"Why don't you start from the beginning," Sam suggested in a kind voice, not wanting Cas to scare off their only link to Dean. "What's your name?"</p><p>"Trinity," she answered. "My friend and I were just driving down these back roads, we actually live closer to Lebanon and we've never been over here before, but when we were driving I saw that car being thrown to the side of the road. It looked insane like a monster truck rammed into it and sent it flying, but we didn't see any other cars nearby, and it was too dark to see anything else. The weirdest thing was, I know there weren't any cars because we basically parked right behind where it happened, there was no way something going fast enough or something big enough to cause that kind of damage would have just disappeared into thin air."</p><p>Sam and Cas glanced at each other, both trying to make sense of what Trinity was saying. Something hit the Impala and sent it flying off the road, something Dean probably recognized for what it was considering his fear on the phone.</p><p>“My friend called 911 from the car, but I got out and ran down to where the car landed,” Trinity continued. “I assumed whoever was in the car was dead, but they weren’t.”</p><p>“They weren’t?” Cas repeated hopefully.</p><p>Trinity shook her head. “They weren’t in good shape, but there was one guy who was conscious, and he was dragging two unconscious bodies from the car, one in each arm, and he barely made it a foot away before collapsing to the ground,” she explained. “I ran toward him and crouched down, asking him if he was okay and what happened, and it took him a second to understand I was there. He was really knocked up, I was surprised he even managed to speak.</p><p>“He couldn’t really make out many words, but he gave me this,” Trinity dug around in her pocket before pulling out a key ring. A lot of the keys looked old, and it definitely wasn’t Dean’s. They weren’t your run-of-the-mill car keys either, they looked like good old-fashioned cage keys, or jail keys or something. Castiel took it from her curiously as she offered them up.</p><p>“Did he tell you anything? His name?” Sam was obviously hopeful that this person was Dean, but the phone call indicated two other men in the car with him, so the one Trinity met could have been either of them dragging Dean out of the car, though the driver seemed more likely considering their discussion of the other man’s state.</p><p>“No, but then again he didn’t seem to have a grasp on reality,” Trinity supplied. “He wasn’t doing so well.”</p><p>“What happened then?” Cas interjected. “Where did the people go? Did they take them to a hospital?” He knew that Trooper Wagner claimed there were no people, so the idea that Dean received help was slim, but he was just trying to get to the part where Trinity told them everything was okay, and here’s Dean, perfectly fine, hiding behind the car or something.</p><p>“That was just it!” Trinity’s eyes were bulging out of her head, like many of the witnesses of the supernatural that they had encountered over the years. “I turned back to see if I could still see my friend in the car, hoping that an ambulance was on the way, and by the time I turned back, all three of them were gone. Like they had vanished or something! But I don’t know how... I mean, there was no possible way that one conscious man in the state he was in would have been able to run away carrying those other two, let alone have run far enough away at that moment I wasn’t watching to be completely gone! Look around,” she motioned to the field they were standing in. “Is there anywhere he could have even hidden in? I know it was dark, but there was nothing.”</p><p>She had a point, There were trees off in the distance, but on all sides, it was just miles of open fields and grass. No way could any able-bodied athlete make it out of her sight even in the dark in that short of time, let alone someone who barely survived a terrible car accident dragging two bodies.</p><p>Sam pulled out his phone again and showed Trinity the same photo he shoved in Trooper Wagner’s face. “Was this man the one you saw?”</p><p>Trinity nodded. “He was a bit more beaten up, but that’s him,” she confirmed, which was honestly a bit relieving. </p><p>Sam wrote down Trinity’s number and address in case they had any more questions and they made their way back up the hill and onto the road.</p><p>Before they could get back in the truck, Trooper Wagner chased them down. “Wait, boys!” He called as he puffed his way up the hill after them. “Since yall think it’s a big deal kinda case, I should give you this,” he told them as he handed them a small flash drive.</p><p>Sam took it curiously and examined it. It didn’t seem to be too damaged, so whatever was on there was probably still good. On one side were the letters “M.M.B.D.” written in sharpie.</p><p>Sam tossed Cas the flash drive as he started the car. “Does M.M.B.D. mean anything to you?”</p><p>Cas shook his head, switching his focus between the flash drive and the key ring. “Not at all. Do these keys mean anything to you?”</p><p>“I have no clue why Dean had those or why he gave them to a random girl,” Sam replied, briefly running a hand through his hair, feeling all the accumulated confusion and stress.</p><p>“Maybe he wanted to protect them,” Castiel suggested thoughtfully. “I can’t explain how he seemingly disappeared, but perhaps he feared someone getting a hold of them. I wouldn’t see another reason for Dean to bother giving them away.”</p><p>That caught Sam’s attention. “You’re right, Cas,” he realized. “Dean never would have given something away that didn’t matter, especially not in that dire a situation. He probably knew that if he gave them to Trinity they’d find their way to us!”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“This is Dean we’re talking about,” Sam reasoned. “More specifically, a more mature, emotional, open-minded version. We know something’s been wrong ever since he disappeared and came back with Mia in tow. Whatever the reason for his changes, I can’t ignore that he has changed, but regardless, those changes would probably mean that he was thinking it through. He knew what to do, and he probably knew we’d find the car.”</p><p>“Sam,” Cas began warily. “He let someone else drive his car.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Over the phone, we knew that there was a driver because he was yelling at him to drive faster, but that was definitely his car back there, which means-”</p><p>“He let someone else drive his baby,” Sam finished in awe. “He would have had to trust that person with his life, but I can’t think of anyone he would. Someone who he trusts that we happen to have never met before…” Sam was racking his brain for a person to fit the description.</p><p>“Someone like… Mia?” Cas prompted.</p><p>It fit. And the way that it fit wasn’t good. Something happened to Dean four days ago, and they had no clue what or why Castiel had his empty feeling. What they did know was that whatever it was must have dug up something for Dean, something that made him act differently, something that they might be able to understand if they could just talk to Mia.</p><p>It was no question that Mia and Dean were working as a unit when they were lying. Now that Dean was missing, if they could just find her and get her on her own, maybe they could begin to unravel the lies that Dean had been telling to placate them.</p><p>Castiel spent the rest of the ride back to the bunker examining the keys on the keyring Trinity gave them. They had been important to Dean, so they were important to Cas, he just didn’t know why.</p><p>One key, in particular, stood out from the others, and again he wasn’t sure why. He kept it on the ring but laid it out flat on his palm, grazing it with his fingertips.</p><p>His first instinct had been that it may unlock the Ma’lak box, but he could tell just from looking at it that none of the keys would accomplish that, especially not the one that stuck out to him.</p><p>He knew they had to get back to the bunker and play whatever was on that flash drive and then finally get some answers from Mia.</p><p>-</p><p>Sean watched as his daughter paced the small motel room they checked in at. It was no surprise that Mia had convinced them to pass several good motels only to stop in Lebanon, Kansas, but Sean just did as she wanted.</p><p>The last two years without Jody had been hard on him, there was no mistaking that. He loved his wife and his daughter, and he loved that they were more confident and strong than he could ever hope to be. He saw a lot more of Jody in Mia than himself, mainly because Amelia was brave and independent. Sean had always been codependent, first on his parents, then on Jody. But he knew he couldn’t force Mia to stick around.</p><p>“Dean won’t answer his phone,” Mia fretted. “Kevin won’t answer his phone either. Does Raphael have a phone? Can you try calling him?”</p><p>“Mia.”</p><p>“I mean, what if he’s dead? Chuck just swooped in and took him! What do we do now? I mean, what happens if Lucifer doesn’t come back?!”</p><p>“Mia.”</p><p>“Do you think Chuck killed Dean and Kevin too? I mean, are all of our efforts useless and worthless and futile and-”</p><p>“Amelia!” Sean snapped, finally causing his daughter to stop rambling. “You need to calm down.”</p><p>“I can’t calm down!” Mia looked offended that he would even ask her to. “Dad, my friends could be dead. And after Mom, I don’t know if I can take any more losses! What do I even do if Dean’s dead? I devoted six years to send him home, sending him here, and if he’s gone, then I failed.”</p><p>Sean stood up from his seat on the edge of the bed and wrapped Mia in a hug. “Honey, everything is going to be alright,” he said while rubbing her back. “But you can’t leave this unfinished.”</p><p>Mia pulled away, confused. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“You need to find Dean,” he said simply. “You have to see this through, and you need to lock the key in the box.”</p><p>Mia looked at her father with wide eyes. “I don’t know how to do that! I’m not Dean. That’s Dean’s job.”</p><p>“Maybe it is,” Sean admitted, “and maybe you will never be Dean, but Dean didn’t do anything on his own. He had something else. He had…”</p><p>“His family,” Mia finished with a sigh. Of course, her father would pull the family card, he wouldn’t be much of a father if he didn’t. “So, we’ll do it together?”</p><p>“Oh hell no,” Sean said with a laugh. “I am not destined for these things, I don’t have the constitution.”</p><p>“Then what did you mean?”</p><p>‘I meant what I said literally. Dean had his family. You don’t need your family, you need Dean’s.”</p><p>“You have to be joking.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Sean said with a smile as he sat back down on the bed. “I love you Amelia, but I can’t do all of this! I can’t deal with God and monsters and Kevin,” he added jokingly. “I’m not your mother.”</p><p>Mia fell on her knees in front of him, putting her hands on his. “Mom was only human, Dad. And I don’t think this life is for anyone. It’s the life that got her killed.”</p><p>Sean shook his head. “No, that angel Ruth got her killed. Honey, I don’t want you to give up what you’re passionate about because you’re worried about me. I know that you know how incredible you are. And maybe you don’t follow in Dean’s footsteps and hunt, maybe you finally get to go to college or go back and search for that girl you loved when you were sixteen. What matters to me is that you’re happy.”</p><p>“But what about being safe?” She asked honestly.</p><p>“Your mother would hate me for it, but as long as you’re happy and careful, I wouldn’t want to stop you from doing something unsafe,” Sean reasoned. “Mia, you’re twenty-two. You’re an adult, and you can make your own decisions. But you can’t make those decisions in a world that Chuck destroys.”</p><p>Mia nodded understandingly. Her father knew that she would never really be safe until Chuck was gone because no one would be. Chuck was still going to end this world, and he already found Lucifer. She didn’t have any other options.</p><p>She stood up and kissed her father on the forehead. “Okay,” she conceded. “I’ll go to the bunker and try to talk Sam and Cas into helping me.” </p><p>Before she left, she paused at the door and reached into her pocket. She felt horrible about stealing it, honestly, she had, and she thought maybe he could use it more than she could.</p><p>“Here,” she walked back over and handed her father a photograph.</p><p>It was a photo Sean had never seen before, but he was in it. It was him and Jody swinging a boy he’d never seen before, but that didn’t matter much to him. It was a picture of him and Jody. He hadn’t seen a picture of the two of them together for six years.</p><p>He looked up and smiled with tears in his eyes as Mia disappeared outside the room, ready to face whatever would be waiting for her at the bunker.</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Middle of the Hill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mia slowly begins to give some things away and Dean reappears in a familiar place</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam parked the truck inside the garage and he and Cas proceeded to walk inside, the gears in their brains turning as they each silently tried to form their plan for what to do next. In some silent agreement, they both knew they had to find Mia and ask her some questions, but they had no idea how to find her.</p><p>Luckily they didn’t need to exert themselves too much because there she was, eyeing their giant telescope at the end of the room.</p><p>“Hey!” Sam called as they raced down the stairs, surprised to see her but slightly relieved. “When did you get here?”</p><p>“Oh, hello. I hope you don’t mind, I let myself in.”</p><p>“Of course she did,” Sam grumbled to Cas. “Mia, we need to talk.”</p><p>‘You’re right about that,” she agreed, much to their surprise. “I can’t get ahold of Dean, please tell me you know where he is.”</p><p>They glanced at each other worriedly. They hadn’t been expecting Mia to know where Dean was, but they were hoping she already had some insight on the car accident.</p><p>“Dean’s missing,” Cas replied. “And he was hurt.”</p><p>Mia’s face fell, she had looked almost hopeful before. “Damn it,” she muttered to herself. She looked back at them. “How long has he been down there?”</p><p>“Down where?” Cas immediately jumped on her extra information, and Mia looked a bit caught off-guard.</p><p>Mia was discovering that it was much harder to lie when Dean wasn’t with her. It was much harder to lie when she was in charge of finding Dean and making sure he wasn’t dead.</p><p>Rather than try to come up with some way to cover her telling words, she realized something. “Have either of you found a box? Like a fancy looking one?”</p><p>Sam and Castiel exchanged an unsure glance. “Yes…” Sam responded warily. Mia’s face lit up momentarily, but it fell again.</p><p>“I suppose it doesn’t do much good without the key,” she grumbled, sitting down in one of the chairs, crossing her arms in annoyance. She was fairly obviously ignoring the fact that Cas and Sam had questions, and she was clearly on her own mission.</p><p>In pursuit of clarity, Cas figured that giving her more information couldn’t hurt. “What kind of key?” He asked, ready to show her the keyring in his trenchcoat pocket. </p><p>“Not any kind of key you would have,” Mia admitted. “If Dean’s still gone, then so is the key.”</p><p>A lot of her words were sticking out, specifically because in this context they didn’t make much sense. The phrases “down there” and “Dean’s still gone”, implying there really was another side to what happened today. Or was it yesterday? The sun had risen by the time they got to the crash site, Sam had simply not slept since it was the middle of the night when Dean called them.</p><p>Then Castiel remembered what Dean told him on the first phone call, early that morning when Cas first discovered he had left. Dean said he was going to see Mia. He hadn’t even contemplated the fact that it must have been a lie if Mia was here right now, unaware that the accident had even happened since she hadn’t seen Dean since she left Jody’s.</p><p>“Dean isn’t gone,” Sam supplied indignantly, not wanting this random witch to convince him his brother was dead. “His car crashed and he’s just missing.”</p><p>‘Wait, his car crashed?” Mia reiterated in surprise. “So he was here? Like, on this physical plane?”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t he be here, ‘on this physical plane’?” Sam asked in horror, not liking at all what Mia was implying.</p><p>‘I’m definitely saying too much,” Mia said to herself, which earned a very angry eye roll from the younger Winchester.</p><p>“You are saying nothing at all!” Sam argued.</p><p>“Okay, that’s enough!” Cas interjected, his low voice startling them both. “Look, I get that there is some stuff you aren’t telling us about Dean, but right now, we need to find him. So Mia, if you know anything about where he is or where he’s been or what he’s mixed up in, you have to tell us. This is more important than whatever you fear will happen should you finally tell us the truth.”</p><p>Mia knew he was right, but she also knew she shouldn’t say anything. And that sucked. But the situation was admittedly dire. “I can’t just… say everything,” she struggled to say. “But I can help find him, I promise. Him and.... others.”</p><p>It wasn’t the answer either of them wanted, but they figured it was best to just let it rest for now. Cas pulled the keyring out of his pocket and showed it to her. “There was a woman who saw the aftermath of the crash, and apparently Dean gave her this.”</p><p>Mia snatched it from him without asking and stared at it closely. “It’s got to be one of these!” she announced excitedly. “Where’s the box?”</p><p>Admitting defeat, they lead the way to Dean’s room. The bed was still shoved haphazardly across the room and the board that was once blending into the floor was now lying lightly on top, not hiding much of anything.</p><p>Mia immediately headed for the loose board and kicked it away, picking up the glossy black box for the first time with elation. But as she picked at the latch, it wouldn't open.</p><p>“I think it’s… stuck!” She struggled with it for a little while more as Sam sent Cas an annoyed yet smug look, having done the same thing a few hours ago.</p><p>“It isn’t stuck, Mia, it’s locked,” Cas informed her.</p><p>“Why the fuck is it locked?! Did Dean have a key?!” This was the first she was hearing of the box being locked, though fairly, she hadn’t been there when Lucifer gave it to him. ‘Is the key one of these?” She held the ring up again, still unsure which one was even Gabriel’s.</p><p>Castiel shook his head, the deja vu feeling very strong as he explained it in a similar way to Sam before. “Dean said this box was important, very important, but I’m beginning to wonder if any of us can open it. Meaning, if any of us even have the capability of opening it.”</p><p>“Of course,” Mia sighed, sitting on the bed, defeated. “Of course, when we’re this close. I’m going to lose everyone, and I can’t even finish the damn job.” She put her head in her hands and Cas and Sam couldn’t tell if she was on the verge of tears or some kind of mental break. It didn’t help that her choice of words was only more confusing.</p><p>Before Sam and Cas could think of anything to say, she sprung up from the bed, her energy instantly replenished. “No,” she stated firmly. “If I have to come to terms with losing all of my friends, then I will do it in a place that isn’t doomed, in a place where my father is safe.”</p><p>“What the hell are you talking about?”</p><p>“I’m glad you asked, Sam. I’m talking about you two taking me to talk to this witness you told me about it.”</p><p>“Who… Trinity? She told us everything she knew,” Sam responded, annoyed.</p><p>“Maybe,” Mia conceded, “but you didn’t know the right questions to ask, because you don’t know what I know.”</p><p>“Then tell us what you know,” Cas said, but he wasn’t nearly as aggressive as Sam was being. He understood that the only way to coax any excess information out of the witch was to wait for her to slip up and say it, and she wouldn't do that if Sam always had her on guard.</p><p>“Look, I’m going to do this with or without you,” she told them, already walking out of the room, leaving the box on the bed and forcing them to have to follow her. “You can come with me, or I’ll do it all by myself, but I’d rather have your help. And I think that you guys would rather be with me, because you know that I’m closer to this than you are,” Mia reasoned. “But if you come, you have to understand that I’m not going to tell you everything, Dean’s going to have to do that. So, are you with me or not?”</p><p>Castiel and Sam shared an unsure glance. They could just let Mia leave, she left the Ma’lak box and the keyring and she didn’t even know about the flash drive, so they still held all the cards, but the fact that she wasn’t trying to take those items with her implied that while they may be important, they had little to do with finding Dean.</p><p>And that was definitely the priority, finding Dean.</p><p>Sam sighed, feeling beaten by this twenty-something girl. “I’m driving,” he demanded.</p><p>-</p><p>Dean blinked his eyes open to see the familiar ceiling of his classroom/bedroom at the school. He shut his eyes again, feeling extra tired, but he wasn’t sure why. Usually he woke up before Kevin, Mia, and Sean anyway, so he doubted it would make much of a difference to them.</p><p>It was odd, as he rolled over, he didn’t see Kevin in his normal spot a few feet away. Dean sat up, rubbing at his eyes, only to notice that he was alone in the room. That never happened, not for six years.</p><p>Six years… wait, dammit! He’d been back home, back in the bunker, back to a life of lying, so why the hell was he back in the base that he lived in for six years.</p><p>He stood up quickly and hazily stumbled toward the door and into the hall, becoming more balanced and awake with every step down the stairs. There was no one around, he always passed people, even after many of them left. It was eerily empty.</p><p>Had Chuck caught on? Had he known what was going to happen to him, so he sent Dean back to the other world?! After all the progress he made, how could he be back here? It wasn’t fair.</p><p>He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t live another six years here, away from his brother, away from Cas.</p><p>He didn’t even have the picture! His picture of them that he carried with him for six years was hiding under the floorboards of his room, tucked beneath the Ma’lak box that almost won him his freedom.</p><p>Dean stumbled into the familiar cafeteria, now on the verge of having a panic attack, but Chuck wasn’t waiting for him inside.</p><p>“Luc?”</p><p>The archangel sent him a small smile from his seat at a table, next to Kevin who waved at him. There was a cot set up a few feet from them where Raphael lay, unconscious, but not looking as bad as he had in the car.</p><p>“Hey Dean,” Luc patted a chair next to him. “We should talk.”</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Feet of Clay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We see what happened when Lucifer disappeared with Chuck</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer hated his father. He believed he had every right to, after what he did to him, and what he did to Michael. But he hadn’t seen him since Michael’s death, so why was he here now?</p><p>It was more of a rhetorical concept he was here because Lucifer and Dean were trying to take away his powers. The question “why was he here” was more of an outburst of frustration. Why now, after everything they’ve gone through, when they were so close to the finish line? When Dean was close to being happy? When Kevin and Mia were close to being safe? When Luc was close to freedom?</p><p>Chuck didn’t seem very proactive about this little rendezvous. True, he was the one who sought Lucifer out in the first place, but he was making Lucifer fly him, rather than just snapping his fingers to transport them or pausing time or something God-like. He was acting lazy.</p><p>“Okay, we’re here,” Lucifer said with annoyance after Chuck was finally satisfied with where they ended up. Luc flew him to over a hundred locations on earth in the last hour before he was happy. Now they were on a bench, sitting and watching a playground. It was dark, the middle of the night, and empty. Incredibly unsettling.</p><p>“You know, I’ve been here before,” Chuck commented. “I was eating popcorn and contemplating my death. Have you ever done that Lucifer?”</p><p>The archangel eyed his father warily. “I can’t say I have, but death wasn’t an option in the cage you locked me in,” he said spitefully.</p><p>“You’re still upset about that?”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?’ Lucifer asked, clearly appalled. “You imprisoned me for not being evil. You murdered my brother for helping me and blamed me for it. How could I not be upset about that?!”</p><p>Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know what you’re up to, Lucifer.”</p><p>“Do you,” Lucifer responded flatly.</p><p>“You intend to lock me inside this human form. It won’t work, my boy,” he stated plainly.</p><p>Before Lucifer could respond in any way, he heard something. Words, ringing through his head in a familiar voice.</p><p>“Luc…”</p><p>“Lucifer?” Chuck interrupted. “Are you listening to me?”</p><p>“Shut up!’ Lucifer snapped back, waiting to hear Dean’s voice pray to him again.</p><p>“Luc, where are you? If you’ve got your ears on, Raph needs you…”</p><p>Raphael. He was in danger? How did that happen? Going to Hell was supposed to be easy, that’s the only reason Luc let Dean go alone. Raphael then descending into Hell after him should have made it easier.</p><p>It wasn’t just Dean he was hearing from now, suddenly he heard Kevin and Mia’s voices as well. Mia just seemed worried about Lucifer, but Kevin seemed to be the same boat as Dean, asking for help for Raphael.</p><p>“I have to go,” Lucifer said, shooting up from his spot on the bench, Chuck quickly following suit. </p><p>“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Chuck interrupted aggressively. “I’m God, and you will do as I say or I will kill your friends myself.”</p><p>Lucifer was pissed. Dean was in danger, his brother was hurt, but what could he do? He knew better than most what God could accomplish, and he wasn’t going to rock the boat any more than he had to.</p><p>“You don’t understand,” Luc pleaded, coming off more desperate than he ever wanted to in front of his father. “I need to help them.”</p><p>“And I need you to start cooperating with me,” Chuck said nonchalantly. “We all have things we need, Lucifer.”</p><p>“This is more important than any of that!” Lucifer interrupted honestly.</p><p>Chuck raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Really now? You think Dean Winchester and your little gaggle of traitors are more important than getting rid of my powers?” When Lucifer didn’t answer, Chuck added, “no, it’s okay. Speak freely.”</p><p>Lucifer fidgeted uncomfortably and in frustration. “What do you want me to say?” The archangel noticed the silence of the prayers in his head. Maybe they just stopped trying to reach him, or maybe… he didn’t want to think about it. He wanted to fly to them and save them and help them, and Chuck just wanted to stand in his way, as always.</p><p>“I want you to admit the truth. If you had complete control over the situation, would you rather save Dean Winchester? Or would you rather get rid of me?”</p><p>“Can’t it be both?” Lucifer asked, a little dryly for the intensity of the situation.</p><p>“No, obviously not,” Chuck said with an eye roll. “Choose. The ball’s in your court, bud.”</p><p>Lucifer tensed his fists, but he already knew what he was going to do.</p><p>Raphael was his only living brother, and he was hurt. Raphael never believed that Lucifer had the capacity for evil, he always knew, and it ruined his life, forcing him into isolation. Kevin was scared of everything, so how could Lucifer let him down and let him be scared now? Let him think after all the years they’d worked together that Lucifer could ever let him down?</p><p>And Dean? Dean was his best friend, the only other being in the world who ever really recognized, understood, and respected Lucifer’s wants and needs. Dean made him feel included, made him feel happy, made him feel safe. He hadn’t felt safe since that brief moment where he was reunited with Michael. Truthfully, the idea of letting Dean down, letting Dean get hurt, it was almost like he would be letting Michael down all over again. Michael meant everything to Luc, and he lost him. Now Dean was filling that void, and he couldn’t lose him too. He owed him too much.</p><p>They deserved to be happy. Why couldn’t he just give that to them? Give them that happiness? Raphael could spend his days with people again, Kevin could go back to making movies, Mia could go to college and live a proper life, and Dean could spend the rest of his life, blissfully in love with Castiel, happy to always stand beside his brother Sam. Why didn’t they get that? What did they ever do not to have earned that, not to get that happiness and stability? </p><p>With Chuck around, the world would end, and they’d all be dead anyway. Them plus every other person they ever loved, and he knew Dean would hate him for it. Dean would never be happy knowing that Lucifer picked Dean over Sam and Cas.</p><p>But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do the right thing. If Chuck wanted to end the world, then so be it, but he was not going to take the only people Lucifer cared about right here right now. They could find another way, they could jet off to some other world. There had to be somewhere, sometime they could go where Chuck wouldn’t take their happiness away. But they couldn’t do that if they were dead, right now.</p><p>“Fine,” Lucifer conceded, to which Chuck seemed incredibly delighted.</p><p>“Smart. Now, go get it and destroy it for me.”</p><p>Lucifer cocked an eyebrow humorlessly. “I can’t do that.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>‘I mean, I literally cannot. I built the box so that I couldn’t destroy it should a moment like this come. But you can destroy it, you’re still God,” Lucifer prompted as Chuck’s face seemed to fall for some reason. “So just go grab it and destroy it.”</p><p>“No,” Chuck replied slowly. “You grab it.”</p><p>Lucifer cocked his head to the side. “I just said I can’t.”</p><p>“Well, go get it then!” Chuck sounded angrier and somehow less stable, which was ringing some alarms in Lucifer’s head.</p><p>“Wait for a second, why can’t you just snap your fingers and destroy it from here?”</p><p>“Well, I-”</p><p>“And why haven’t you just done that before? You were always capable of finding us, but you don’t even need us to know where the box is. Hell, you don’t even need to know where the box is to destroy it. So why haven’t you done it earlier?”</p><p>“It’s-”</p><p>“Why didn’t you just kill me? Or Dean, or anybody?”</p><p>“Lucifer, I’m warning you-”</p><p>“Hold on. Why did I do all the flying? I flew you here. You haven’t done a damn thing.” It was clicking in his brain and he got a rather devilish grin on his face. “Your powers are quite gone now, aren’t they Chuck?”</p><p>God made a bunch of unintelligible noises in protest, but none were convincing enough. Somehow, the items already in the box had taken away Chuck’s powers already. He was already experiencing the effects of it. Considering the final key wouldn’t be in the box anymore, there was probably a possibility Chuck had some power left, like how he located Lucifer in the first place, and came here from Lucifer’s original world. But Luc doubted there was anything Chuck could do to him now.</p><p>“Ruth will kill you,” Chuck hissed, now furious. “She’s already killed Dean and your other disappointing brother. Do you think you can seriously defeat me? I’m God! GOD.”</p><p>Lucifer simply smirked at him and flew away to answer some prayers.</p><p>-</p><p>“That’s insane,” Dean mumbled after hearing Luc’s story, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t believe it’s already working.”</p><p>Lucifer nodded, but he didn’t look as hopeful as the story made him sound. “He’s not done for yet though,” he admitted. “He found me once, and he can find me again, I just don’t know how long it will take him this time. I’ve warded the base so that Ruth can’t find us, at the very least.” Lucifer protectively stroked his unconscious brother’s hair.</p><p>“What about Raph?” Kevin interjected. “Will he be all right? You healed us up pretty nicely.”</p><p>“Yes, but it’s more complicated,” Lucifer conceded. “I can’t heal him until the lance is broken. I can keep him alive, but this isn’t living,” he sadly noted his brother’s condition. </p><p>Dean looked around the familiar cafeteria they were in. “Look, that’s all pretty good news, but I do have to ask, are we…” he motioned to the room surrounding them.</p><p>Luc looked momentarily confused before his eyes widening. “Oh!” he realized. “No, we’re still in your world, Dean, just the same school. If you look out the windows, you’ll see this school isn’t even in a forest. It’s still in use, it’s just the summer.” Lucifer sighed, rubbing his eyes as if he were tired. “I just needed some stability, and this place was our home for so many years, and I just thought-”</p><p>“It’s oddly calming,” Kevin interrupted, his honesty being reassuring, which is why he said it. “I always felt safe here, so after the night I had last night, I think it makes me feel a lot better.” </p><p>Dean nodded, though he didn’t entirely agree. True, this place was a shelter in a pretty fucking horrible storm, and he thought it could be pleasant to come here and roam the halls, but his six years here were pretty awful. Sure, he loved Mia, Kevin, Luc, and Raph, but that didn’t erase all of the scary, sad, terrifying, almost paralyzing moments of grief he felt, both for his home and for Jody.</p><p>“Okay!” Dean clapped his hands together. “Let’s get back to the bunker and put an end to this!”</p><p>Lucifer sent him a tentative glance. “Dean, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”</p><p>“Are you serious?” Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I gave the keys to that woman when I crawled out of the car! No question they got to Sam and Cas. All we need to do now is go open the box for them, it’s that simple.”</p><p>“It isn’t that simple at all,” Luc argued. “Right now, they’re as safe as they can be. Chuck doesn’t even know where the box is, and Ruth thinks you have the key. The second we reemerge, Ruth will kill you, and she’ll destroy the box. We don’t know how to win yet.”</p><p>“Yes, we do!” Dean argued back, exasperated. “We win by putting the key in the box. Sam and Cas will have the key. Sam and Cas have the box. We need to open the said box, put in the key, and voila! Luc, why are you fighting with me here?”</p><p>Lucifer stood up to face him. “Dean, they are as safe as they can get right now. We’re not. We need a plan.”</p><p>“We have a plan!”</p><p>“Dammit, Dean! That’s not a plan, it’s suicide! You won’t just get yourself killed, but your family as well.”</p><p>“I thought you were my family,” Dean said, his voice threateningly low, clearly one more comment from setting off The Bomb. “We’re a family, Luc. And as a family, we won’t survive anything, ever, if we don’t open the damn box.”</p><p>“You’ll get them killed, and you’ll blame me.”</p><p>“You really think that little of me?” Dean’s voice cracked as he spoke. “You really trust me so little that you think I would ever turn against you like that?”</p><p>“You’re doing it now! Like everyone else in my life, you’ll see me as the bad guy!”</p><p>Dean spun on his heels and walked toward the entrance of the cafeteria when Lucifer appeared instantly in front of him. Dean rolled his eyes and walked around him, only to be met by him, yet again. “Get out of my way, Luc,” he growled, moving away.</p><p>As Lucifer got in his path for the third time, Dean stomped his foot frustratedly. Luc crossed his arms. “I’m not letting you leave, Dean.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, are you going to imprison me here? You of all people know that’s not very fun.”</p><p>“Dean!”</p><p>“What, is the base my cage? Are you going to lock me up forever and just let Chuck’s power come back, let him kill my family?”</p><p>“Dean Winchester, you listen to me-”</p><p>“No, you listen to me,” Dean hissed, only an inch from the archangel’s face. “You can lock me up in here for the rest of my life, but believe me, I never thought of you as the bad guy until just now, Lucifer.”</p><p>Dean stormed away, unfollowed, but it didn’t matter because they both knew Dean wasn’t going to leave the school building. They both knew Lucifer would never relent from stopping him from going. Dean was trapped here, under Lucifer’s command.</p><p>But worse, he called him Lucifer. Not Luc, Lucifer, the name that Dean said he never wanted to associate with this version of Lucifer. Lucifer was the devil, who killed people that Dean loved, and Luc was his friend. Luc was supposed to be his friend.</p><p>“Uh uh,” Kevin spoke up after Dean was out of earshot. “You are not leaving off on that terrible note. Go after him!”</p><p>“And do what, Kevin?”</p><p>“I don’t know, but you can’t just let him storm away to be mad at you! You two have never fought, not since you first met and he thought you were a bad guy.”</p><p>“He thinks I’m a bad guy now!” Lucifer admitted in defeat, sitting down and burying his head in his folded arms that rested on the table. “Am I doing the right thing?” Lucifer asked with a muffled voice, not lifting his head.</p><p>Kevin sighed, turning so his back was to the table, his elbows resting on it as the table as it sat behind him now, leaning back to rest on his elbows. “Honestly, Luc, yeah. I think you did the right thing. If we went back and you flew us right next to the Ma’lak box, I still don’t think we could get the keyring inside of it fast enough to beat Ruth coming in and killing everyone she is capable of killing. Sure, we’ll need to see her again to break that lance and heal Raphael, but doing it now wouldn’t do any good.”</p><p>Lucifer looked up at him. “Why didn’t you tell Dean that?! You could have helped me out a little!”</p><p>“Oh please!’ Kevin protested. “Dean’s mad because it’s Dean. Not even a Dean with his improved self-control could react well to that kind of news. Nothing I say would help, Lucifer, it would only make things worse,” he said honestly. “But hey, I’ll level with you here. Dean is going to be mad, because do you know what he did in that car, right before it crashed?”</p><p>“Yelled at you for endangering his precious Baby?”</p><p>“Surprisingly no. He called Sam and Cas, and he told Cas.”</p><p>“Told Cas? Told him what? He… oh,” the realization hit him in the head. “Shit. Does Mia know?!”</p><p>“Lucifer, how the everloving fuck would Mia know?! Are you even aware of our current situation? We’re stuck here until further notice!”</p><p>“Right, sorry,” Lucifer said. “Wow, I suppose that must be… hard. Telling Cas after all these years and now not being able to do anything about it.” His eyes followed the path that Dean took when he left. “I’m surprised he said anything at all.”</p><p>“Oh, believe me, we’re in for a wild few days,” Kevin said, sounding anything but excited.</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Sew My Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time for some honesty</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car ride to the address that Trinity gave them was quiet and awkward. Sure, the ride could have been filled with more probing questions that Mia would inevitably avoid answering directly but would somehow let out important information that lacked any real context, but Castiel was beginning to find that tiring and overrated.</p><p>Mia was not the best at keeping secrets, clearly, but the constant hints and clues did little to assuage Castiel’s confusion. He tried keeping a mental list of everything Mia said to him that could be a clue.</p><p>First, she revealed she’d known Dean for six years. She revealed she was also a witch, who healed Dean’s leg and then brought Max Banes back from the brink of death. She then had some sort of obsession with meeting Jody Mills, only to have a panic attack in her dining room and then leave for an entire day without a word.</p><p>Most recently, Mia had given away some frightening clues, tossing around phrases like they made any sense and were perfectly normal for the situation. She mentioned something about Dean being “down there”, Dean being “still gone”, she seemed surprised that Dean was “on this physical plane” which was an alarming concept. She knew about Dean’s little Ma’lak box but didn’t realize she couldn’t open it, and she seemed to think there was something she had to do with the box to save her father and finish a job.</p><p>None of it made any damn sense.</p><p>It didn’t help that Dean’s encounters with Ruth the angel had been bothering him. More and more as time passed since they spoke, he couldn’t help but question the situation in its entirety. Ruth had Michael’s lance, which Crowley broke. She mentioned using it on Lucifer, who was already dead, she seemed very interested in Dean’s social life, claiming he was in some sort of danger, and then got angry when Castiel wouldn’t continue unless he had any more information. It was all a bit shady, and it didn’t help that Cas could swear Ruth was dead. He knew she was dead, so how had she been alive this entire time without his knowledge? Naomi once told Cas there were only a handful of angels left alive, and he could name all of them, so how come Ruth was alive and nobody knew about it?</p><p>None of it. Made. Any. Damn. Sense.</p><p>While Castiel was having this kind of crisis, Sam was a bit closer to a temper tantrum. He would kill to understand how Dean defused The Bomb in the kitchen two mornings ago now because he was not having much luck with it. Sam always liked to think he was more patient than his brother in pretty much any situation, but this did not feel like that.</p><p>Deep breaths.</p><p>Sam couldn’t believe Cas wasn’t panicking. After the few hours they’d had, Cas deserved to be panicking, he deserved to be interrogating the witch in the backseat, but the angel just stared wistfully out the window, lost in his thoughts.</p><p>Meanwhile, Sam wanted to give Mia a piece of his mind. How dare she keep information about Dean from them. Dean was Sam’s brother. Dean was Cas’... something, but definitely stronger and more emotional. What was Dean to Mia? Not worth the effort it would take to be honest for ten seconds?</p><p>Sam parked the truck in Trinity’s driveway and they all hopped out wordlessly, walking toward the door. It didn’t even occur to Sam that they weren’t wearing Fed suits until Mia had already rung the doorbell.</p><p>“Oh, wow, that was quick!” Trinity opened the door with a smile. “It’s only been half a day!”</p><p>“Yes, sorry about that, but this girl may know something about the accident and she wanted to ask you a few questions,” Castiel motioned to Mia.</p><p>Trinity smiled warmly at all three of them. “Come in!”</p><p>Her house was nice, pretty small but it worked since she seemed to be the only one living there. The house looked as though it belonged to an old lady, the couches were lime green with quilts draped over them, and a few cats were lazing about bookshelves and tables. It was a strange atmosphere for a woman who was clearly around Mia’s age.</p><p>Trinity sat on an armchair that was direct across from a single couch, leading the three of them to squeeze onto it. Mia sat directly in between them with no concept of personal space, which caused Sam to roll his eyes, already pretty pissed off with her.</p><p>“I honestly don’t know how much more I can tell you,” Trinity opened. “I really can’t explain what I saw, but I swear, one second they were there, and the next, poof!”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m here to ask,” Mia said, her usually awkward and stubborn demeanor seemed to melt away, her tone soft and inviting. “I just wanted to ask you some questions about who was in the car.”</p><p>“Well, there was that other Fed that you guys were asking about that I talked to, and he was dragging out two other men.”</p><p>“Can you tell me what they looked like?”</p><p>Trinity paused thoughtfully, having not been asked this question before. Sam and Cas felt a bit stupid for not asking this pretty standard question.</p><p>“Well, one man was short, but that’s all I could tell, he was facing away. Another man though seemed to be in the worst shape of all of them. He had dark skin and dark brown hair that was pretty short. He had a gash near his stomach, his shirt was ripped and there was a pretty bad looking wound there. I honestly thought he might have been dead.”</p><p>Mia paused thoughtfully, and Sam and Cas tried to read her facial expression and weren’t getting much.</p><p>“Do you think that could have come from the accident?” Mia asked after a long moment.</p><p>Trinity shook her head slowly. “Honestly? I can’t speak with total authority, but it looked like he’d been stabbed or something.”</p><p>Mia knew what that meant, it meant that Lucifer’s fear about Ruth having the lance had been realized. Somehow, Ruth had found them, either in Hell or in the car, and she stabbed Raphael.</p><p>“But Dean… the Fed… he was pulling the man out of the car right?”</p><p>“Yeah, he was, and he was doing it as gently as he could, so I can’t say with certainty that the man was dead.”</p><p>Mia nodded, that was good. She doubted that Raphael would ever die, that archangel was resilient as hell.</p><p>Trinity interrupted her thoughts for a moment. “This may be a weird question, but is your name… Lucy?”</p><p>Mia cocked her head to the side, unaware that Sam and Cas did almost the same gesture. In a better situation, there would have been time for her to analyze that and figure out if the reason she did it was that Dean did it, and if the reason he did was that his family did, but now was not the time for that.</p><p>“No? My name is Mia,” she supplied, but halfway through her sentence she realized something. She leaned forward, prompting Trinity forward. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“Nevermind, he was clearly out of his mind then.”</p><p>“I’m not so sure,” Mia argued. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>Trinity fidgeted, clearly a bit embarrassed. “It’s just that, it sort of sounded like he was saying Lucy like he was mumbling it under his breath.”</p><p>“Lucy, or Luc?”</p><p>“Loose?” Sam interrupted, seeing Mia’s line of questioning as a waste of time, but Mia held up a hand that almost smacked Sam in the face, ignoring his indignant gasp.</p><p>“Well, it was a bit broken,” Trinity conceded. “I suppose I never heard him say ‘Lucy’ exactly, just Luc, and then… well it’s stupid.”</p><p>Mia had a small smile grow on her face. “Did he say Lucifer?”</p><p>Trinity’s eyes grew wide, surprised at Mia’s conclusion, but she nodded. “Actually, yeah. But he was just crazy, right?”</p><p>Mia’s smile only grew wider. “Thank you, Trinity!” she stood from the couch and bolted out the door, leaving everyone confused.</p><p>Sam and Cas quickly thanked Trinity one last time before following Mia, and Sam was beginning to come up with a theory that he wasn’t a big fan of.</p><p>Mia had already hopped in the backseat of the truck, so Sam and Cas loaded in as well, beginning to drive away.</p><p>“So…” Cas tried to cut the sudden tension that was palpable between Mia and Sam. “Did that meeting… help?”</p><p>“What did you mean by Lucifer?!” Sam interrupted, now confident to begin speaking his mind on the subject matter.</p><p>“What he means to say,” Cas said pointedly, glaring at Sam, trying to keep him from scaring her off, “is why did you ask?”</p><p>“Look, I have good news and bad news,” Mia replied honestly. “The good news is that there’s like a fifty percent chance that Dean is fine. The bad news is there’s still a fifty percent chance he’s not. The issue that arises now is how to know which actually happened.”</p><p>“What does that have to do with Lucifer?” Sam asked, clearly upset.</p><p>Mia wasn’t sure how to handle that one, but at this point, she had very little choice in the matter. She wouldn’t take Dean’s truth and tell them about it, but she had to give some things away to get through this with their help, and that started with just the tiniest bit of honesty and transparency.</p><p>“Because Lucifer might have been the one who got them.” Okay, maybe that wasn’t ‘the tiniest bit’ but it was what came out, no stopping it now.</p><p>Sam let out a dramatic, bitter laugh, clearly doing little to mask his anger. “Lucifer’s dead! Of all of the things we currently have to worry about, Lucifer is not one of those things.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Mia agreed. “We don’t have to worry about him. I’m worried about the other fifty percent.”</p><p>“The other fifty percent, so would that be worse than Lucifer?” Sam asked, sounding amused.</p><p>Mia’s eyes were wide and she nodded her head wildly. “Absolutely!” She exclaimed. “I don’t know how long they are for this world if Ruth got them.”</p><p>Cas spun in his seat, facing her. The angel had Ruth on his mind ever since the day at the hospital, and this was the first time someone else validated her existence and the fact that she wasn’t dead. “What do you know about Ruth?”</p><p>Sam raised an eyebrow, not looking off the road. “What do YOU know about Ruth?” Sam asked, clearly not appreciating being the only one in the truck that had no idea who Ruth was.</p><p>“Ruth is an angel who asked me to spy on Dean,” Cas admitted honestly, and that nearly made Sam drive them off the road.</p><p>“What?! When did this happen?!”</p><p>“You didn’t do it, did you?” Mia sounded worried, ignoring Sam and his little breakdown.</p><p>Cas shook his head. “Of course not! She wouldn’t explain anything to me. She came to the bunker the first night you arrived, and she met me again outside Max’s hospital. She kept telling me Dean was in some kind of danger, but she wouldn’t elaborate. Not to mention, she had Michael’s lance, and she said she was going to use it on Lucifer.”</p><p>“Trust me, wherever Lucifer is now, it’s a much worse fate than any weapon,” Mia grumbled. “Unless of course, he’s the one that got Dean.”</p><p>“Okay, let’s assume for a moment that Lucifer is alive,” Sam conceded, angrily squeezing the steering wheel. “Why would that be better than some creepy angel woman?”</p><p>“Ruth killed my mother,” Mia stated plainly, not wanting to have this argument. She expected Sam and Castiel to distrust Lucifer, obviously, but she didn’t like him being compared to Ruth. Ruth was a monster, and it was best to rip that band-aid off quickly.</p><p>Cas pulled the flash drive out of his coat pocket, done with this vague lead-on. “Do you know what this is?” He asked, tossing it to Mia in the back seat.</p><p>Mia examined it. M.M.B.D. What the hell was M.M.B.D? M.M.B.D…</p><p>Oh no. Goddammit.</p><p>“Did you get this from Dean?” she asked warily.</p><p>“Do you know what it is?” Castiel reiterated.</p><p>Mia nodded slowly. “I’ve never seen the footage before, but yeah. This will explain everything, at least, enough.”</p><p>She knew exactly what was waiting on that flash drive. She never thought Kevin would have actually stitched it all together, but she knew that this video wouldn’t spell out good things for them. It would be a bit alarming, but that was for Sam and Cas. It would be hard for her to watch knowing what would happen at the end.</p><p>M.M.B.D. Mia Mills Birthday.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Side note, if you don't understand what the flash drive is referencing, reread Chapter 15 ~ Leeward Side and I promise you'll understand</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Fill You In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone sits down for a little movie night with a certain flash drive</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say that Mia was nervous was an understatement.</p><p>She waited impatiently as Sam dug out a computer and brought it back into the main room of the bunker. She was fidgeting and tapping her feet and drumming her fingers on the desk, all things that the angel Castiel noticed and ignored.</p><p>Kevin had told Mia about the video footage he had from her birthday. Just some cute messages from everybody, including her mother. But she never asked him to cut it together or show her, because she never knew if she was ready or how she would react. It was all a bit… scary.</p><p>The little idea of going to Jody’s house had been bad. Mia freaked out, and it didn’t help that the scenario wasn’t exactly closure by any means. But this? This was oh so much worse.</p><p>Putting her own reasons for not wanting to see the video aside, this wouldn’t necessarily be subtle. They would see Jody Mills talking about her daughter Mia, they would see Dean with Lucifer, and they would see the ghosts of Raphael and Kevin. Mia didn’t want to steal Dean’s moment, to tell the truth, and she planned on avoiding it as much as humanly possible, but there were some things she couldn’t just bullshit a lie about. Not to mention she needed Dean and Lucifer back as soon as possible.</p><p>“Alright Mia, let’s see,” Sam beckoned her to come over, and she looked down at the flash drive in her hand. She had half a mind to stomp on it and crush it, but she wasn’t sure if she actually could do that successfully. She didn’t want to watch this, she wanted to be back at the base with her mom, falling asleep to Kevin’s snoring.</p><p>But, Mia could read a room, and with all of Sam’s attempts at being patient and civil, he was one “no” away from punching her in the face, and she wasn’t planning on taking that chance, so she reluctantly handed the flash drive to Sam.</p><p>The bunker door slammed open loudly, drawing all their attention to the top of the stairs, where Jody Mills stood, looking angry.</p><p>“You! Who do you think you are?!” Jody shouted at Mia, before thundering down the stairs.</p><p>Mia’s daughter instincts kicked in and for a moment she saw her as nothing other than her mother about to give off some sort of life-ending punishment, and she took a step behind Sam.</p><p>“Whoa, Jody, what’s going on?” Sam asked in Mia’s stead. True, Sam was not the witch’s biggest fan right now, but he was no stranger to that angry parental tone, and his instinct was to defend and protect.</p><p>Jody’s face was beet red. “Your little friend stole a picture from my shelf,” she accused, glaring at Mia who was now cowering behind Sam.</p><p>“Wait, you did what?” Castiel turned to the witch, confused. “Mia, is this true?”</p><p>Oh shit, that. “I’m sorry,” Mia prefaced, remembering that she was twenty-two years old and not a little girl, hiding from her mommy. “I did steal it, and I know that was awful, and it was just done in a moment of… emotions, I guess,” she defended awkwardly.</p><p>Jody’s furious demeanor melted a little bit, as though the fact that Mia had even the slightest bit of remorse was all she needed to calm down. “That’s fine, as long as you return it to me,” Jody said stiffly.</p><p>Right, and there was that. “I can’t,” Mia said guiltily, “I don’t have it right now.”</p><p>“Of course not!” Jody threw her hands in the air. “Why did you even steal a picture of me and my family anyway?!”</p><p>Now, how the hell was Mia supposed to answer that?!</p><p>Well, it was too late now. She was deep in it, and so was Dean. For both their sakes, the best thing to do here was to just let the cards fall where they may.</p><p>“I can explain all of that if you just watch the video.”</p><p>“What video?!”</p><p>“There was a flash drive found at the scene of Dean’s car accident,” Cas explained, just accepting the fact that there were probably a lot of secrets on this thing if Mia stole a picture from Jody and it happened to be something that could be explained by the video. What the hell did that have to do with anything that was currently going on?</p><p>“Wait, what do you mean, Dean’s car accident?” Jody’s eyes went wide.</p><p>“Can we just get this over with?” Sam interrupted, not having the patience to explain all of this to Jody at the moment. Jody’s begrudging sigh indicated that she agreed.</p><p>Sam, Cas, and Mia all sat in front of the laptop while Jody stood, arms crossed behind them, not wanting to be very patient. The moment the video started, they could only stare in shock as two familiar faces appeared, clearly in some sort of dim-lit event room, slightly reminiscent of a high school. There was a lot of background noise, a low hum of some familiar party anthem, and the chatter and noises from people dancing.</p><p>The camera wasn’t very steady, clearly held by someone on one end, walking toward the familiar faces. And while one face was comforting, and image of Dean drinking from a red solo cup, leaning against a wall, the other face had Sam digging his nails into his skin and Castiel fidgeted uncomfortably. It was clearly Lucifer, or perhaps Nick, Lucifer’s long time vessel.</p><p>Both Lucifer and Dean were looking slightly away from the camera, pointing out at someone that they couldn’t see.</p><p>“For a guy that stiff, he certainly attracts these women,” said the visage of Lucifer, as a static line rippled through the screen. This video had clearly not survived the best, maybe from the car accident or maybe not, but either way it looked and sounded like a fifteen-year-old VHS home video.</p><p>Dean smirked in response and finally noticed the camera creeping up to them. “Luc, watch out, it’s Scorsese!” he joked, and it was very clearly Dean. There was no way that wasn’t Dean, making a movie joke, moving the way he moves, speaking the way he speaks. The only difference was, he was seemingly hanging out with Lucifer, and calling him “Luc”.</p><p>A voice came from behind the camera, impatient and oddly familiar. “Say something to Mia for her twentieth birthday!” the voice demanded.</p><p>In another very Dean-like manner, the hunter rolled his eyes. “Happy birthday Mia,” he said anyway, causing Jody, Sam, and Cas to glance over at Mia to read her expression, but her eyes were glued to the laptop, so they just turned back. “Be glad you aren't here right now, there might be a problem with karaoke tonight,” Dean said with a smile, and Lucifer was actually laughing beside him. Laughing. Lucifer.</p><p>“Dammit, Dean did you sabotage the karaoke machine?!” The voice behind the camera exclaimed.</p><p>Dean put his hands in the air, feigning innocence. “You have no proof!”</p><p>Lucifer then swung an arm around Dean’s shoulder, and Sam and Cas could only watch helplessly in horror, waiting for Lucifer to pop his head off or something.</p><p>But that didn’t happen. In fact, the archangel pulled the hunter into a HUG of sorts, and Dean was just smiling casually as if this happened all the time.</p><p>“Happy birthday Mia!” The archangel said cheerfully, again causing Jody, Sam, and Cas to whip their heads to look at Mia, only more aggressively. “Just remember you are less than half this grandpa’s age,” he continued, clearly talking about Dean.</p><p>But Dean simply laughed in return, throwing his own arm around Lucifer’s shoulders. “Yeah, hey, Luc, pal, remind me, how old are you?”</p><p>“Come back with a warrant!” Lucifer responded defensively.</p><p>“Oh my god I hate you guys,” came the camera again, but it wasn’t said genuinely, there was a hint of fondness in his words.</p><p>“Yeah, sure you do,” Lucifer teased back at the camera.</p><p>Dean looked away from the camera again, clearly shouting out to someone. “Hey, Raph!” he called. “Come here and say something for Mia’s birthday!”</p><p>Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared next to Dean, as if having simply materialized there. Castiel immediately recognized the being as the archangel Raphael, who was also dead, just like Lucifer was supposed to be.</p><p>Dean looked startled at Raphael’s sudden appearance and put a hand on his chest instinctively. “Jesus christ man, you were only a few feet away! Use your legs!”</p><p>“Happy birthday Amelia,” Raphael said into the camera, ignoring Dean’s comment. “I hope you are having a lovely time with your father.”</p><p>“Even in a party, my brother manages to be this mellow,” Lucifer chided, but he was smiling proudly at Raphael nonetheless.</p><p>“My turn!” The camera shouted again, spinning to reveal the face behind it, and oh boy did that not make any of this easier to understand.</p><p>Kevin Tran. Older, definitely, but still Kevin Tran.</p><p>“Happy birthday Mia! I hope you enjoy this video as a present, though I’m not sure how long it will take me to cut this all together,” he admitted. All the while, Dean and Lucifer were running back and forth behind him, making bunny ears and strange faces at the camera.</p><p>“Listen, Mia, I know it’s been a rough time, especially since you had to spend your best teenage years here, with us, but you make it so much better. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine doing this without you. Otherwise, I’d be stuck with dumb and dumber back there,” Kevin motioned to Dean and Lucifer, still dicking around behind the camera.</p><p>The video cut with another wave of static, and suddenly Dean, Lucifer, Kevin, and Raphael were all gone and replaced by Jody Mills.</p><p>“Happy birthday my beautiful girl,” she said with a smile. Jody looked different, she had long hair that was a little bit salt-and-peppery, not like the short gray-haired Jody standing behind their chairs, looking at the camera in shock and confusion. </p><p>“I’m sorry Kevin,” the Jody on the video interrupted with a laugh. ‘What exactly am I supposed to say here?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” the man behind the camera, apparently Kevin fucking Tran responded. “Just… say something nice for Mia’s birthday! Say what you would say if you never saw her again.”</p><p>Jody looked thoughtful for a moment. “Amelia Sofia Mills, you are wonderful, and I don’t tell you enough. I am so proud of all of the accomplishments you have made even in these hard times. I know that this life isn’t what you wanted, but I hope your father and I have made it as easy on you as we possibly could. You’re a grown woman, and I know I like to get on your back about your decisions… especially the ones you make for Winchester, but you are so much stronger and braver than me. I trust you, love, and I am so proud to be your mother. Don’t ever forget that, okay? I love you, Mia. Happy birthday.”</p><p>“Wow, that was better than I thought!’ Kevin piped in. “Thanks, Jody, now I got to make my birthday message pretty impressive to top that.”</p><p>Jody smiled and opened her mouth to say something, but static consumed the laptop screen again and the video ended.</p><p>Everyone was shocked and confused. Immediately, they all turned to look at Mia, but she was crying. She drew her knees up on the chair and buried her face in them, shaking silently.</p><p>Sam had a lot of questions about why Kevin Tran was there, alive and well, and all grown up. He looked like nothing ever happened, like Sam hadn’t killed him under the control of an angel. Was Kevin alive? Wait… was Kevin the other voice on the phone?! The driver right before the accident?! It had sounded familiar but Sam hadn’t cross-referenced that voice with any dead people. Maybe that’s why Dean trusted someone to drive his car; because it was Kevin.</p><p>Castiel had a lot of questions about the archangels. Lucifer was alive. Raphael was alive. It was clearly them, Dean even said their names and called them both by nicknames. Nicknames! Dean called Lucifer “Luc” and “pal” and teased him. He called Raphael “Raph”. The Raphael that Castiel had fought against would have disintegrated anyone who ever referred to him by anything other than his proper title. They were supposed to be dead. And now, they were alive and Dean didn’t seem to be mad at them or scared of them at all.</p><p>Jody couldn’t stop staring at the girl who was hiding her face in her legs. She just saw a video of herself, saying that this girl was her daughter. And while Jody knew she never made that video, she never had hair that even looked like that, there was no doubt that it had been her, unmistakable Jody Mills, in that video they just watched. Was that crazy? With the Winchesters, crazy was just a way of life, but this seemed a little too surreal.</p><p>No one said anything for a pretty long time. Thye barely even noticed when Mia pulled herself together and stood up, wiping the tears off of her face.</p><p>“Alright!” Mia shouted to get their attention, as they were all staring blankly at the black laptop screen. “Where should I start?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the wait! I've been very distracted with college and I no longer have any chapters pre-written so I'm posting as I'm writing, but good news, only a couple chapters left!!! We're almost to the end! Don't worry, you'll get a Dean and Cas reunion and talking scene soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Good Head Start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Showtime! Part 1 I guess.</p><p>Read the note at the end for important information about the story</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter titles are titles of songs by Josh Pyke that fit the mood/theme of the chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer was beginning to feel a little guilty. Sure, he knew that his reasoning for why Dean shouldn’t go back to the bunker made sense, but he hated being the bad guy.</p><p>Since the dawn of time, Lucifer had been the bad guy, and he never did anything wrong. Sure, he pushed Gabriel off a cloud one time, and yeah, he stole Raphael’s archangel blade and hid it on the day they were assigned, but that was just them being kids.</p><p>He spent pretty much his entire “adult” life - if what you could call eternity was ever in phases of development at least - locked in a cage. And he’d been singing his sob story about his millennium of isolation ever since he was released, and he seldom thought it mattered much anymore. He was out, so now he got to focus on the important things.</p><p>But explaining to Kevin and to those people at the base that he was in fact Lucifer, Satan, the devil, whatever, was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. It was hard enough for them to believe him, let alone take him at all seriously. But when he showed his powers or his wings they cowered away in fear. Sure, eventually he was their hero, but the moment Dean came along they defected to him. Perhaps it was because Dean was charming and Lucifer was consistently paralyzed by the fear of scaring people or hurting them.</p><p>Dean was always good about that, somehow he always seemed to understand where Lucifer was coming from, and he understood Lucifer’s fears and hesitance. Maybe it was because Dean had always been in strange positions of power with immense pressure, so he knew what it was like to be in Lucifer’s position. Because Lucifer was in a pretty tough spot. He was not any of the things people believed him to be.</p><p>Dean had his fair share of times being the bad guy, and Lucifer knew that. Dean had been through difficult times that Lucifer couldn’t comprehend. And while both Lucifer and Dean made a deal with each other to never compare their personal tragedies and hardships as better or worse than one another’s, it was a difficult line to tow.</p><p>The last thing Lucifer ever wanted was to be a bad guy to Dean. Of course when they first met, neither had fulfilled the idealized form of what their relationship would become, but it didn’t matter so much then because neither knew enough about one another to care if the other didn’t like them all that much. And sure, Lucifer desperately wanted that “stranger” to like him, but not because he respected him the way he did now.</p><p>“Dean?” Lucifer flew into the classroom that Dean had called his room - in the other world at least - for so many years. He was ready to end this stupid little argument and sit down and have a civil conversation.</p><p>One small problem: the room was empty.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Lucifer began to frantically fly to every corner of the base that he remembered Dean frequenting, The roof, the cafeteria, other classrooms, the auditorium, the stairwells, and in every single one, Dean was nowhere to be found. He even flew out to the woods as well, hoping to find Dean somewhere out there.</p><p>Lucifer returned to Kevin and Raphael in the cafeteria, receiving a confused look from Kevin who just witnessed Luc hurriedly appearing and disappearing from the room.</p><p>“He’s gone,” Luc said, clearly distraught. “Dean’s gone. Goddammit, he’s probably been gone for hours!”</p><p>“It’s okay!” Kevin attempted to calm him down. “You know where he was heading, so maybe it’s not too late to head him off before he gets there!”</p><p>Lucifer shook his head. “This is Dean we’re talking about,” he reminded Kevin. “There is no way in hell he didn’t slip out right after our argument. He’s already there. He’s going to get himself killed and screw us all over!”</p><p>“Hey!” Kevin reprimanded. “He’s in a tough spot right now Lucifer. I’m sorry, but this is not exactly a surprise, would you say it is? Let’s just go get him.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Lucifer’s apology was clearly aimed at Dean, but Kevin didn’t say anything about it. “I need you to stay here with Raphael, and it’s too dangerous for you to come.”</p><p>“Do you think that… this is the moment?”</p><p>“What moment?”</p><p>“You know, the make or break moment, the climax, the final boss battle, the end?” Kevin supplied.</p><p>Lucifer gave him an annoyed glare. Kevin was probably right, but that didn’t mean Luc wanted to hear it. He wanted to believe that Dean could just get back and open the box and throw the keys in and slam it shut and bam! Ruth would come crying in defeat and give Lucifer the lance that she used against Raphael, Chuck would be a useless human being, Kevin and Mia could move on with their lives, Luc and Raphael could enjoy each other’s company in times of peace, and Dean could settle down with his brother, and with Castiel, like Dean deserved to be able to do for the last six years.</p><p>But Lucifer didn’t foresee a very fun afternoon.</p><p>-</p><p>Dammit. This would have all been so much easier if Dean hadn’t lost his car. What was he supposed to do without his precious Baby? </p><p>No, there were more important things to focus on at the moment. Ignoring the long day of public buses and illegal hitchhiking, he was finally at the bunker. He spent the entire day worrying that Luc would catch up to him and stop him, and that was the last thing Dean wanted.</p><p>He felt a little guilty about their fight. Okay, a lot guilty. Luc had a point, as always, and Dean didn’t want to hear it. Clearly, otherwise, he would not have left the base in the first place.</p><p>Sometimes Dean hated how stubborn he could manage to be. He knew he was being unfair to Luc, but this wasn't about covering for what he said on the phone or selfishly saving his family, it was about getting in and putting the key in the box.</p><p>They had both. He had neither, but he could open the box. Simple as that.</p><p>He didn't want to think about the phone right now. And whatever the hell Cas was thinking. Now wasn't the time, now was the time for saving lives, and he needed to act quickly the moment he got in the bunker. </p><p>He stood outside the door for a moment, almost worried to go inside. Once he got inside, the clock would start. He didn't doubt Ruth's ability to catch him the moment he walked in, so he was delaying the inevitable as long as he could. He vaguely heard a high voice saying "where should I start?" And he had no idea if he should try interpreting that.</p><p>-</p><p>“What do you mean ‘where should you start’? Start with what the hell that was about!” Jody demanded in response to Mia, causing her to shrink back again. Jody was having a difficult time fathoming that anything from that video was real or accurate in any way, mainly because Jody knew that the Jody she just watched was not herself, and she did not have a daughter. Certainly not a daughter she didn’t even know about.</p><p>“Okay, well it’s a long story,” Mia snapped back, but it was coated in worry and hesitation. “What exactly should I tell you that doesn’t go against my moral obligation to Dean? Or that doesn’t go against my moral obligation to the truth? Or even to the fact that more information may make it easier to find Dean because you’ll all stop asking me all these stupid damn questions! And then, how do I even approach what you just saw in the video without six years of context? Or tell you how Ruth could sweep in at any moment and kill anyone of you, just like she did that night?” </p><p>At this point Mia was rambling, that much was apparent, but the other three were smart enough to hang onto every word she said. Most interestingly to Cas was the mention of Ruth.</p><p>Pushing aside any and all worries, and unable to really hear anything that was just said, Dean threw the door to the bunker open, and it slammed against the wall with a loud, dramatic boom, cutting anyone else off from asking Mia any probing questions.</p><p>He took only a second to pause and look at the four people who whipped their heads up to look at him. Obviously, Sam and Cas were there, as he expected, but so were Jody and Mia. Jesus, that couldn't be a good combination. </p><p>His gaze lingered on Cas for a little longer, staring directly into his eyes and avoiding everything else about his face.</p><p>Shaking everything off, Dean split down the stairs and ran directly into Mia at the bottom.</p><p>"Dean!" She looked relieved. "You're alive! Oh god, I almost had to-"</p><p>"The key, Mia," Dean demanded impatiently. Mia's face immediately switched back into that serious expression Dean was so familiar with. In this scenario, they had to throw away all of the latest events and pretend they were back at the base, fighting off Purgatory monsters.</p><p>"Castiel, give me the key," Mia said sharply, turning to the angel as Dean stormed down toward the hall, making a direct line to his bedroom. Sam, Cas, and Jody weren't paying any attention to what was being said, they just stared at Dean as he disappeared down the hall. "Castiel!" Mia snapped one more time.</p><p>Castiel was very unhappy with what was going on. Dean was here and he was alive, which filled him with so much relief and… hope? Maybe. But after just finishing that video, he didn't know what to think anymore. It was Dean, it just wasn't… Dean.</p><p>The video was for Mia but she wasn't in it, which almost made her the most trustworthy person here besides Sam, who seemed equally confused. But she hadn't had any time to explain what happened in the video, so he wasn't inclined to trust her either.</p><p>Dean reemerged with the box while Mia was still holding out her hand expectantly, but Cas didn't have time to decide whether or not to hand her the key ring.</p><p>Mia was thrown against a wall and knocked out by some invisible force, the very same force that tossed Dean against the stair railing, forcing him to drop the box that he had brought out from under his bed.</p><p>"Dean!" Both Cas and Sam shouted at the same time. Jody had her hand in her pocket, probably having brought a concealed gun.</p><p>A woman had appeared in the center of the room, the all too familiar lance of Michael strapped diagonally across her back. Dark skin and eyes and bouncy hair, no mistaking it, it was Ruth.</p><p>Obviously, Cas didn't trust Ruth. The two times she met with him she had been vague and condescending, but now having thrown Dean to the wall, he was beginning to think his distrust had been justified, after all, she had been the one to claim she was trying to protect Dean.</p><p>"You're an idiot," she said with a malicious smile. “A resilient idiot, I have to say.”</p><p>“Trust me, honey, I’m not the dumb one,” Dean sneered back at her, unable to show any signs of fear. This was the exact situation Luc had been trying to avoid and Dean knew it, and the ever-growing similarities were beginning to weigh on him.</p><p>Ruth twisted her hand slightly and lifted Dean a little further off the ground. Sam, Jody, and Cas were unable to intervene as they were still incredibly shocked and confused. Not that any of them at their current state could match up to a pissed and powerful angel anyway. Dean wriggled a bit but didn’t change his indifferent and stoic expression, refusing to give Ruth the satisfaction of intimidating him in any way.</p><p>Dean took this time to glance over at Mia to see if she had stirred. Cas seemed to notice this and slowly and quietly crept over to Mia, laying a hand on her. She was still asleep but there was no damage to her head. Dean sent him a grateful look, which Cas returned with a mix of fear and frustration as if he was begging Dean to end all of this. Dean sent him a look that was just plain apologetic, and Cas was unexpectedly filled with a wave of love and adoration that almost knocked him to the ground.</p><p>Of course, Dean had his priorities to deal with right away, given the circumstance. “Where’s Rowena?” he hissed at Ruth, earning a confused look from everybody in the room, a look he was sure to get used to.</p><p>Ruth rolled her eyes. “I can’t kill someone already dead. But believe me, her days of ruling Hell are over. I know what you pulled down there the other day, and I’m not a fan of it, Dean Winchester. And by the way, can someone explain to me how you aren’t dead?”</p><p>“Well, you see, it all started when I was first in Hell and-”</p><p>“Oh get off it!” Ruth yelled at him. “I sent an army of those sniveling roaches and your car was demolished, so unless you happen to be some sort of ethereal being, I’m going to guess that you have another archangel up your sleeve. So why not put him in the game?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Dean growled, not liking where this was going, but it showed a little too much emotion and he regretted it as soon as he saw Ruth’s little satisfied grin.</p><p>“How’s little Raphy huh? Is he dead yet?”</p><p>“Of course not. Do you really think you’ve managed to do something successfully?” Dean sent her a confident and condescending smirk.</p><p>“Well, I doubt he’s sipping pina coladas,” Ruth bit back, furious that Dean wouldn’t just rollover. Of course, she knew it would be difficult. “I got him with this damn lance, and I’ll get your precious Lucifer all the same. And don’t tell me I can’t kill someone successfully, do I need to remind you about that little massacre back home?”</p><p>It was an odd statement, referring to the base as Dean’s home, and it was almost a little telling of Ruth. That was her home.</p><p>Something to stash away for later.</p><p>Cas and Sam had no idea what to do. Everything about the last week had been some kind of nightmare whirlwind of emotions that they couldn’t contextualize and ghosts reappearing everywhere. Kevin Tran, Raphael, fucking Lucifer, and here Dean was, acting like it was all normal.</p><p>“Ruth, you know that this is wrong,” Dean prompted. “Chuck doesn’t care about you, and I think you know it.”</p><p>Cas and Sam looked at each other. Of all of the weird characters that had been appearing in the last few days, Chuck had actually sort of fallen to the side. Chuck was all they’d worried about for months and now he had become the least of their worries, with all the mystery surrounding Dean and his witch friend. But of course, Chuck was involved in all of this confusion and insanity. He was usually involved where there were confusion and insanity, but they had simply forgotten about him.</p><p>“He’s my father, and you should respect him!” Ruth looked like she was becoming more and more enraged, clearly that touched a nerve.</p><p>But that wasn’t the worst of their problems.</p><p>Suddenly appearing behind Ruth was a familiar figure, and the lights in the bunker began to crackle and flicker. A large silhouette of wings and a pair of glowing red eyes drew everyone’s attention, even so much that Ruth dropped Dean back to the ground. Though Castiel’s instinct was to run to him, his eyes were too glued to the terrifying figure in the room.</p><p>Lucifer.</p><p>“Ruth, leave him alone,” Lucifer warned, with his wings and eyes still present and prominent. Ruth backed away a little bit, already reaching her arm toward the lance strapped to her back defensively. No one knew what to do, and no one dared move a muscle, not even Dean.</p><p>Ruth had to have severely underestimated her opponent.</p><p>But all of the turmoil was interrupted by a very familiar, very hatable man with converse and a beard, leaning against the large map table in the center of the room.</p><p>“Father!” Ruth’s voice was a shrill, excited squeak as she ran up to him and stood beside him. “You came!”</p><p>Chuck did all he could not to roll his eyes, something that didn’t shock Dean at all. “Do your job, Ruth, and then maybe I’ll send you home.” Chuck sent Lucifer a smug glare that made Dean's blood boil. Chuck was powerless, so where did he get off being as cocky as he was? That son of a bitch didn't stand a chance against any damn angel in this room, hell, Cas could probably take him in this state.</p><p>Everyone just stared at them in anticipation. The scenario was quickly snowballing as two of the most powerful villains the Winchesters and their angel had ever faced were now standing in their bunker.</p><p>Lucifer and Chuck. And somehow in the middle was a very angry angel with a lance and Dean fucking Winchester. And the frustrated and helpless spectators, Sam, Castiel, and Jody. Mia was unconscious, Raphael was dying, and Kevin was tending to him.</p><p>There was a stale scent of a storm in the air as they all waited to see what happened next.</p><p>Whatever would happen, it would be over. One way or another.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to get out, college has been crazy but in a mostly good way, but this will make you feel better... ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT! RED ALERT! TWO MORE CHAPTERS! ARE YOU EXCITED?! I'll be sad when it's over, but it's been a long ride getting here and I have changed the aim of this story a million times. Honestly, I'm really happy with the way I've ended it (even though it isn't entirely finished yet)</p><p>ALSO, two more chapters + a bonus alternate ending chapter that was suggested to me a while back, so it will serve as a bit of an epilogue or alternate ending or what have you, if Dean had chosen to return without time traveling (so Cas and Sam will have been without him for the same six years :(  but don't worry you'll love it) just for some extra destiel :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Don't Wanna Let You Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Make or break time!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer and Ruth stood at opposite sides of the room, Chuck in the middle of them, leaning casually against the table. Mia was asleep in a far corner, Sam was standing slightly behind Cas and slightly in front of Jody.</p><p>And then there was Dean. Standing slightly behind Lucifer, studying every inch of the room.</p><p>It came down to this. Six years came down to this. Ruth on Chuck's side and Lucifer on humanity's. Ruth was determined, tactful, and brilliant. Not to mention she had a weapon that could kill Lucifer, and a room full of people that Lucifer could get distracted trying to protect.</p><p>Lucifer was powerful. Perhaps the most powerful being left in the world, now that Chuck was severely limited. He could snap his fingers and this would all be over.</p><p>One small problem, Luc wasn't a killer.</p><p>Luc had problems being the bad guy, that much was obvious. And number one bad guy act? Murder.</p><p>Lucifer killed monsters, and even that kept him up at night. Not like he slept anyway, but it was more figurative. The Leviathans were the hardest part because they were the most human. Many had gone insane in Purgatory, but out of wolves and vamps, they definitely acted the sanest. And Luc had to take every one of them out because no one else could.</p><p>So how would this end well? If Lucifer wouldn't kill Ruth, then someone had to, but Dean didn't have any angel-killing weapons on him, and he figured he might as well count everyone else in the room out, considering their lack of knowledge about what was going on. If Sam or Cas tried to intervene Dean would kill them himself. No, this was between the four of them, Dean, Luc, Ruth, and Chuck.</p><p>Everything that was happening was boiling down to this and Dean had no fucking idea how to proceed.</p><p>Ruth, now more confident from being supported by her father, grabbed the lance off her back and wielded it in front of her, eyeing down Lucifer, waiting for him to make a move.</p><p>"Ruth…" </p><p>Goddammit, Chuck. Shut. Up.</p><p>"Ruth, kill him."</p><p>Ruth charged him, lance held out in front, spear side racing toward Lucifer's torso. It was simple and predictable, and Lucifer flew to where she had been, effectively only switching places.</p><p>"Ruth, enough," Lucifer began, but she charged him again, just as furious and sloppy, only resulting in them switching back.</p><p>Dean stepped in between them, earning a pissed grunt from Luc, but he figured they could hash out their fight later. What's done was done, and now Dean needed Luc to not get himself killed by Ruth.</p><p>Dammit, and somehow get the keyring that he didn't have in him in the box that was still closed on the ground by the stairs.</p><p>“Winchester, I’d move if I were you,” Ruth said with one of her now familiarly aggressive sneers. “You’re next, but I need to kill Lucifer first and foremost.</p><p>Dean crossed his arms stubbornly. “I don’t see why you can’t just run me through, Ruthie,” Dean said. “Come on Ruth, what are you doing? What have you been doing this entire time?”</p><p>“Oh, enough Dean!” Chuck shouted, standing up and straightening ever so slightly. “You just love to ruin everything don’t you?”</p><p>“You tried to kill me!” Dean snapped back incredulously.</p><p>“Yeah, and apparently it didn’t work! It never seems to work,” Chuck responded, almost sounding defeated. He had a point, historically Dean had a habit of sticking around.</p><p>But that’s what made him think before he came up with a plan of sorts. “Of sorts” being the keyword.</p><p>“Alright fine! Kill him then!” Dean threw his hands in the air.</p><p>“Excuse me?” said both Ruth and Luc, both sounding equally surprised.</p><p>Dean simply shrugged. “Hey, this is Lucifer we’re talking about. Lucifer. Need I remind you what he’s done to us, historically?”</p><p>Ruth’s eyebrows raised, and Dean was glad that his back was to Luc because he had no desire to see his reaction. “But… he’s your friend. Your best friend,” Ruth added, incredibly confused about the sudden change of opinion in Dean, who was usually so defensive of his friends. The fury and determination she had to kill Lucifer fell, only to be replaced by confusion.</p><p>“Yeah, my so-called friend who didn’t get me back home for six whole years,” Dean pointed out, sounding cold and indifferent. He stepped out of the way, slightly back toward the stairs. “Don’t let me stop you!” he called out to her.</p><p>Now he could see Luc’s face and it was blank. Dean hoped that his little performance was convincing enough to trick Ruth, but not so convincing that it tricked Luc. The archangel’s face was completely stoic.</p><p>Waiting an awkward moment to put her head back where it needed to be, Ruth charged Luc again, this time with more thought and precision. That may have been the downfall of Dean’s little change of heart, but he needed the focus to be off of him, from all eyes in the room. Specifically Chuck’s.</p><p>This time Lucifer had to ascend to the air to avoid her, and she leapt up and joined him. It was almost reminiscent of when Dean killed his first Lucifer, and it made him sick.</p><p>She thrusted the lance toward him, which Lucifer caught and attempted to rip from her grasp. Ruth held on tight and twisted her weapon downward, forcing Luc to contort his body to keep up with his arm being pulled down, hanging steadfast to her lance, until she ripped it back from his grasp and appeared behind him, wrapping her arm around his neck and pulling his head down and back. With her other hand, she raised the lance and attempted to bring it down on Lucifer’s chest, but the archangel threw his legs back and kicked her in the lower part of her stomach, causing her to miss him entirely as she thrust the lance down and met nothing but air.</p><p>All the while, Dean was creeping closer to the Ma’lak box, keeping his eyes fixed on Chuck, who had his eyes glued to the battle. Dean almost forgot for a moment that Chuck was on low batteries, but even at his low level of power, he didn’t know what he was capable of. He could still teleport around, so he could suddenly appear and kick the box away, and maybe he could still kill him. Dean was a human, and Chuck still wasn’t quite, so who knew exactly how powerful he could still be?</p><p>Castiel was perhaps the only one in the room not staring directly between Chuck and the two angels who were currently grappling for control of the lance. Somehow Ruth was flying completely upside down…? It was a mess. But he was paying more attention to Dean.</p><p>And the box. Dean said something about needing the box, he told them to protect the box, when he got back the box was the first thing he went for. And Mia needed the keyring that Cas currently had in his trenchcoat pocket. She wanted to put the key in the box, a box that they couldn’t open.</p><p>Yet, Dean was now holding onto the box and opening it with ease. Of course.</p><p>Cas had a handful of options now. He had the keyring, so he could take Mia’s weird advice and try to get it to Dean and the box across the room. It certainly seemed like the only thing he could do at the moment.</p><p>As the angels tussled in the air, Cas felt a strange feeling, like an understanding he didn’t have before. He closed his eyes and envisioned the calm scenario that Dean claimed to use to defuse the Bomb. He pictured himself floating on his back on a river, pointing out constellations to Dean who was floating beside him. No Chuck, no Lucifer, no Kevin, no Mia, just the two of them, floating hand in hand. He wanted that world. He needed that world.</p><p>Dean had no idea where the keyring was. He left the room before hearing Mia demand it from Cas, so he didn’t even know if it was nearby. All he knew was that he didn’t have it. He vaguely remembered giving it to that girl who saw him drag Kevin and Raphael from the demolished Impala, so he knew that they had it. He trusted them enough to know that they would have it, otherwise, he wouldn’t have risked coming to the bunker. </p><p>It didn’t help that Ruth was slowly winning. Luc was obviously getting worn down and he was less and less willing to actually cause her any harm. Ruth pinned the archangel to the wall and drew the lance back, aimed right at his neck.</p><p>Everything could go wrong in this split second, and Dean closed his eyes as the world seemed to move in slow motion. He imagined he was floating on his back down that familiar river, hand in hand with that familiar angel.</p><p>Maybe it was luck or chance, but both Dean and Cas locked eyes at the same time, and they knew what to do. Cas tossed the keyring in the air, and it whizzed across the room toward Dean. Chuck noticed just in time to scream Ruth’s name, but they were both too late.</p><p>Ruth, distracted at hearing her father call for her name, completely missed Lucifer’s neck as she turned just in time to see the keyring land beside the vial, the blade, and the necklace, as Dean snapped the Ma’lak box shut.</p><p>There were no fireworks or magical clouds of golden mist twisting around Chuck’s body. There were no brilliant flashes of light, and the room did not shake and crash down around them. Everything remained still and stagnant and unchanged.</p><p>With one change.</p><p>Ruth dropped the lance and appeared by her father’s side in an instant. “My Lord?” she fretted. “My Lord? You don’t… you look… different. You’re not… are you?”</p><p>Chuck was studying his hands. There was no outer change to his appearance, it almost seemed like nothing had happened. But the utter panic in Chuck’s face was enough to prove to Dean and Luc that something had in fact happened. Something… enormous had happened. Something crucial. Something important. Something six years in the making.</p><p>“No… no, this can’t… no,” Ruth continued her rambling. Chuck was completely speechless, staring at himself in abject horror. Ruth ran to Dean and ripped the box from his hands, trying to pry it open. Sam and Cas knew firsthand that it was futile. “Come on… dammit!” Ruth tossed the box across the room and into the wall, earning a loud crash but no damage to the box.</p><p>“You… what have you done?” Chuck’s eyes turned dark as he faced Dean. He raised a hand and snapped his finger, but nothing happened. Chuck really was powerless, and it seemed to startle him a little bit.</p><p>Lucifer stepped in front of Dean protectively even though he wasn’t in any danger. “You’re done, Chuck,” Lucifer said, staring him down. “Your little reign of terror is over. You lose.”</p><p>“I don’t lose!” Chuck argued back. “I am God, and God doesn’t fucking lose!” he kicked a chair over, but even with the power in his voice, nothing was intimidating about him anymore.</p><p>“Well, you’re not God anymore,” Dean chimed in, walking so he could be beside Luc. It was a show of confidence really, now Chuck didn’t stand a chance against either one of them. “Now you’re just regular old Chuck Shurley, regular old human, regular old bitch.”</p><p>“Ruth, kill them,” Chuck demanded furiously, but Ruth was just staring at her father blankly. She had picked up the lance, which both Dean and Luc were kicking themselves for. “Ruth, I won’t ask again!”</p><p>“You… you can send me back, can’t you?”</p><p>Dean and Luc looked at each other, tabling anything and everything they had been arguing about for the last couple of days. Ruth wanted to go home. It made sense, she seemed to hate Hell and the demons within it, so maybe she really was just homesick. But if Chuck was powerless now, the only way she was getting back is if she found all the ingredients herself for a spell.</p><p>“Ruth, kill them,” Chuck said through bared teeth. “I’m still your father, dammit, and I command you. Kill them. Kill all of them.”</p><p>Ruth stared at him, and then snapped the lance over her knee.</p><p>Everyone was shocked, including Mia who was finally waking up and starting to figure out what must have happened. The lance was broken, so Raphael would be completely healed. They didn’t even need to fight her for it.</p><p>“I have done everything you said,” Ruth’s voice was low and dark. “You said ‘watch Dean Winchester’ so I did. You said ‘watch their base’ so I did. You said ‘leave Dean alive’ so I did. You changed your mind and wanted me to kill him, and I would have been successful if not for Lucifer. You said ‘kill Jody Mills’ so I did. You said ‘wipe them out’ so we did. You sent me to this ugly, putrid, deformed world so I came here. I have listened to your every command, and all I received in return was your judgment and the worst jobs you could have possibly given me. And now? You’re pathetic!”</p><p>“Excuse me?!”</p><p>“You are pathetic. Absolutely, disgustingly pathetic," Ruth repeated bluntly. "I've done everything for you. If you hadn't waited, and if you had just killed Dean Winchester six damn years ago instead of dumping him in an alternate universe, this never would have happened!"</p><p>"I am still your father, and I am still the-"</p><p>"You're nothing," Ruth interrupted, almost sounding bored. "You're nothing but a man. I didn't follow you because you were just a man. You were powerful. And now I could kill you with very little effort. So tell me, why should I still be loyal to you? You've imprisoned me here." She turned away from her stunned father and faced Dean and Lucifer. "I now understand your plight, Dean Winchester. I don't enjoy being taken from my home."</p><p>Lucifer stepped in front of Dean protectively again. "Ruth, I know that-"</p><p>"Don't bother," Ruth interrupted again, holding up her hand to silence him. "I don't see any reason to finish this little fight. I know you both hate me for what I've done, but allow me one thing and we'll leave, never to see each other again."</p><p>"What one thing?!" Mia snapped as she joined Luc and Dean in the center of the room. "You killed my mother and countless other people at our base. You're a monster."</p><p>"A monster who is offering to back off," Ruth said indignantly. "I'll leave you be, so long as you let me take him." She pointed back at Chuck.</p><p>"Now wait a minute-"</p><p>"Shut up!" Dean, Lucifer, and Ruth all shouted at the former God synchronously. </p><p>"Why do you want him?" Lucifer asked her, suspicion evident in his voice. This was over now, and Chuck was human, so there was no stopping any one of them from harming Chuck, but Lucifer just assumed that his humanity would be his punishment.</p><p>"He lied to me and forced me to come here. I didn't want to go to Hell and work with those maggots down there, and I certainly didn't want to waste the last six years monitoring you. I did everything I did to impress God, but you just killed God."</p><p>She had a point. Ever since they'd met in the woods, Ruth's goals were pretty evidently just to impress Chuck in everything she did. She didn't seem to ever have her own reasoning for doing any of the things she did, it was always her being a soldier.</p><p>But that still didn't excuse the massacre she led on their base. She killed children, she killed Jody Mills, she tried to kill Dean. She was a monster.</p><p>And yet, Luc wouldn't really kill her. Maybe if it came down to it, he'd do what has to be done, but as of right now, his pacifism was pulling for the win. Dean could kill her in a blink if he had the correct weapon, but he was getting the feeling that this face-to-face negotiation was a one-time stop. If Ruth left the bunker with Chuck, they'd never see her again. They'd never see either of them again.</p><p>Luc crossed his arms. "Not good enough," he insisted. "You murdered people I was supposed to protect, Ruth. I can't let you walk away without a scratch."</p><p>Ruth seemed to think for a moment, tapping her foot methodically.</p><p>"Look, I'm stuck here, right?" She asked rhetorically. "And you won't let me hurt Chuck, because you don't want me to just get away, so how about a trade? Chuck and I will take your punishment, Lucifer."</p><p>"I'm sorry?"</p><p>"He imprisoned you in that cage for thousands of years, unfairly and for no reason. So, put us both in there. Let us spend eternity rotting away in your cage in this shitshow of a world, and let me spend that eternity with him forever, able to do whatever I want."</p><p>Lucifer and Dean shared an uncertain look, not entirely sold. "Why would you want that?" Luc asked.</p><p>"I can't exactly go home," she reasoned. "I know what I've done, and right now it's obvious that I've been defeated and cornered. Better that than death."</p><p>"Yeah, okay, but why do you hate him so much you'd want to spend eternity kicking his ass?" Dean chimed in. "You've only been mad at him for the last five minutes, you worshipped him before."</p><p>Ruth shot Chuck a spiteful look. "I've been around for a long time, Dean Winchester, and your friends are not the only people I've killed in his name. And no, I certainly don't have a conscious telling me to stop, but I've wasted so many years on him, in hopes that one day he'd allow me to rule by his side, or be his favorite. Thousands of those years, destroyed in a second. All because he didn't see you idiots as the threats you actually were."</p><p>She had a point. If Chuck at any moment had just stepped in and killed Dean rather than holding out hope that Dean would die at the hands of one of those damned Purgatory monsters, then he wouldn't be a powerless, useless shell.</p><p>Ruth also had a point saying that he was pathetic. The panic seemed to really set in and he looked a lot more like the Chuck Shurley/Carver Edlund man they originally met.</p><p>"You can't seriously consider this," Chuck added, finally joining in the negotiation for his life. "Lucifer, you're my son!"</p><p>"You locked me in that cage for nothing other than your stories. Maybe it's time you become a character in one of mine," Luc reasoned.</p><p>Dean, picking up on that signal, looked over to Mia to see her reaction. She looked conflicted, but finally turned and gave Dean a sharp nod. That was all he needed.</p><p>"Deal," Dean said, holding out his hand to shake Ruth's.</p><p>"Hey, this is my life you're selling!" Chuck shouted furiously, but no one paid him any mind and Ruth shook Dean's hand.</p><p>It seemed like a fair trade. True, Ruth had killed a hundred of their friends, but she was also a force to be reckoned with, and no one could kill her right here right now. Being prisoned in the cage for all eternity seemed only fair… maybe less than fair to Dean, but he was smart enough to know that in the end, it wasn’t really his call. It was Luc’s. </p><p>Luc knew what it was like in that cage. He knew whether her punishment would be worse than her gain. And Luc is the only one who had any right to decide what should happen to Chuck. Chuck was his father. True, he was Ruth’s and Castiel’s as well, but Lucifer had gone through too much to not have the last word.</p><p>With perfect timing, Raphael appeared in the room with one hand on Kevin’s shoulder. Disregarding the situation at hand, Mia ran over to Kevin to hug him, having been worried sick about both him and Dean ever since they went to Hell. Lucifer mimicked her by walking over to his brother and hugging him as well, just happy that he was okay and standing.</p><p>“I see you’ve managed to save me, just like old times,” Raphael conceded with a laugh.</p><p>Lucifer exchanged an awkward glance with Dean. “Actually I wasn’t able to get the lance off her. She broke it… herself.”</p><p>Raphael raised an eyebrow and glared at Ruth suspiciously. Ruth answered with an indifferent shrug. After all, it wasn’ like her change of heart had anything to do with anyone other than Chuck.</p><p>“Raphael, Ruth and Chuck will be spending some time in my old haunt,” Lucifer said with a little smile he was unable to stifle. “Would you be so kind as to accompany them downstairs?”</p><p>Raphael cracked his knuckles. “My pleasure,” he said with a grin. “And don’t worry,” he turned to Dean. “I’ll be sure to check in with your feisty red-headed friend, and make sure she’s back on that throne yelling at people in no time.”</p><p>Dean had almost forgotten about Rowena in all of the chaos, but he sent Raph a grateful nod.</p><p>Meanwhile, Mia and Kevin had been whispering amongst themselves about a particular something that Dean hadn’t even realized he needed to address now. </p><p>For one thing, Sam, Cas, and Jody were still standing in the room, looking confused as all hell. </p><p>“Hey, I’ll come with you!” Kevin suggested, trying to make sure he’d be out of the room by the time the three bystanders had restored their abilities to speak. “I know my way around down there, and Rowena loves me.”</p><p>Raphael didn’t need to ask or understand the intricacies of human emotion to know one thing: this bunker was not a place that they belonged in at the moment.</p><p>Raphael put a hand on Kevin, and Ruth did so to Chuck. Chuck was being a little less cooperative.</p><p>“Listen to me Lucifer, you’ll pay for this. I’ll get out of there, and I’ll get my powers back, and it will be the end of the line. Do you hear me?” Lucifer just laughed at him. Chuck turned his head wildly before settling his stare on Dean. “You should have just died, Dean. Why do you never just die?!”</p><p>Dean just smirked and waved at him as all four disappeared, leaving them behind in the bunker.</p><p>The hunter first turned his focus to Lucifer, who in turn looked at him. “Listen, Luc, I’m sorry about-”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry,” Luc interrupted. “I knew what was important to you and I tried to keep you from it!”</p><p>“Yeah, but my decision was stupid and reckless and could have downright ended the world!”</p><p>“Yeah, but you ended up being right, so it’s my fault for trying to stop you.”</p><p>“It’s my fault for treating you like the bad guy.”</p><p>“It’s my fault for acting as the bad guy!”</p><p>“Okay, but I shouldn’t have-”</p><p>“Okay enough!” Mia shouted at them. “We get it, you’re both dumb. Now, do you want to maybe apologize to me for letting me think you were dead and not keeping me in the loop about Raphael?!”</p><p>The two groaned like children having just been scolded by their mother. Mia had pulled out her Jody voice again and there was no combatting that. “Sorry,” they both said, almost begrudgingly.</p><p>With that out of the way, there was nothing to distract Dean anymore from the other three people in that room. He took a deep breath and awkwardly turned toward them, desperately trying to not seem too strange or out of character, though it was definitely too late for that now.</p><p>Not wanting to be there for this part, Lucifer sent Mia an awkward look. “Listen, Dean,” the archangel started. “There’s something I need to do before this can all be over. I’ll come back later, okay?”</p><p>“Me too,” Mia nodded a little too eagerly. “Lucifer, could you…?</p><p>“Yep,” he said quickly and they were both out of the room in a hurried blink, leaving Dean alone with his family.</p><p>Fantastic.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT! Time for Dean to explain everything and for some confessions of love to be addressed and oh yeah Lucifer has a gift for Deana and Mia has a gift for Jody :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Forever Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Both the longest and final chapter</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Where to start?</p><p>There were a lot of good talking points. There was the whole Lucifer bit, maybe the Chuck being powerless part, Raphael and Kevin, Mia referring to Jody as her mother, the consistent mention of Chuck kidnapping Dean for six years, and of course there was the phone call Dean had with Cas right before he thought he was going to die.</p><p>It was a lot to unpack. And they were all just staring at him.</p><p>Dean awkwardly pushed his hands into his pockets. "Okay, so first things first, Mia isn't a witch."</p><p>That did it. The volcano erupted. Suddenly all three were talking loudly and angrily over each other, the dam being broken. They were so out of the loop that they couldn't say or do anything during all of the commotion, but now it was just them, and boy did they have some choice words for Dean.</p><p>"You're fucking kidding me, right?!"</p><p>"You did not just say that after everything that we just saw."</p><p>"I don't think that's the most important thing to focus on right now!"</p><p>"I mean, seriously!"</p><p>"I mean, honestly!"</p><p>"I mean, jesus christ!"</p><p>Dean shot his hands up in defense and even took a step back. "Okay, okay, wait! Just, wait. Can I just, explain? Please? And you can ask me any questions you want at the end, but please let me tell you everything and then, THEN, you can scream at me all you want. I deserve it, I know. But you deserve the truth. Okay?"</p><p>A little bit shocked by the open honesty, Sam, Cas, and Jody all took a seat around the table, and Dean did not, figuring that he might want to shift uncomfortably on his feet every once in a while during his story.</p><p>"Okay, I guess I should start at the beginning," Dean said, taking a big breath. "You may have noticed… okay, you noticed that I've been acting strangely for about a week now. Ever since…"</p><p>"Ever since you disappeared to help Mia and broke your phone?" Sam filled in the blanks, his distrust and suspicion as plain as day now. </p><p>Dean winced as if the words he was going to say pained him. "Yeah, about that," he started. "Mia didn't call me, and I didn't go help bail her out of a vamp hunt. I didn't even know her yet."</p><p>The annoyance and frustration from his audience dissipated a bit to be replaced by confusion. It had been obvious that Dean and Mia cared about each other, Dean was acting like a brother figure or a mentor, and they often would talk about their years of hidden friendship. True, Sam and Cas had literally just met her and had therefore been suspicious of the idea that she and Dean went way back, but there was nothing fake about the way Dean talked about watching Mia's mother die at the hands of an angel, and nothing fake about the concern Mia had when Dean was missing again.</p><p>"I did get a call, but it wasn't from Mia," Dean continued. "It was from Max Banes."</p><p>This part made sense, after all, Dean had mentioned getting called by Max to Sam the day they went to the hospital, but Dean said he'd been too distracted by Mia and her problems.</p><p>"Max was… strange on the phone. It was him, for sure, but he seemed to find something weird. Something he described as frozen lightning."</p><p>"Like a rift?" Cas interjected, surprised and intrigued.</p><p>"Yeah, that's what I assumed, and it was right. I forced myself to go find him and this rift, even with my broken leg, which was dumb and stupid and short-sighted," Dean admitted, embarrassed. "I got there and Max was nowhere in sight so I very, very stupidly went through the rift. And of course, it immediately closed behind me."</p><p>He had their attention now, and he realized he would have to just get through the story. "I was in some sort of wheat field that stretched on for miles, and Chuck was there with me, all of a sudden. He told me Max wasn't in this new universe, and that it had all been a trap for me. He wanted me to go through that rift so that he could lock me away in this alternate world. It was the only world besides ours that he hadn't yet destroyed, because he was taking his time. He had a specific grievance against the world just like ours, so he decided to kill it slowly. He released all of the monsters from Purgatory to take over and prey on all of the humans. He wanted me to be there so that I would eventually die, and you guys… would think I'd just left." </p><p>Dean paused for a moment, feeling very awkward. He wanted to avoid this conversation and the look in their eyes as he told them the story. He had barely gotten into it and already they all seemed so… scared. Or concerned…? It was hard to tell. But damn, it was hard to make eye contact with Cas.</p><p>“He wanted to make sure I was still suffering even though his attention would be on another world,” Dean rushed to explain. “He was never sure how long it would take for the other world to… die, so "he didn’t want to just let us live our lives in the meantime. He disappeared, and I spent that entire day trudging through that field in the heat on my broken leg before I ever ran into any Purgatory monsters. One of them gripped my leg and ripped himself a chunk of it before I managed to find a river that I sort of just… jumped in, and didn’t wake up until the middle of the night.</p><p>“I was starting to hallucinate or dream or something, and it was pretty bad. But by morning, someone had fished me out of the river and carried me to a cabin. A little embarrassing, I know, but I was half-dead by then so I didn’t have too much time for my pride.</p><p>“When I came to again, it was sometime in the day, and I was alone in that cabin, and I watched as Lucifer walked through the door.”</p><p>“Hold on,” Jody interrupted. “You were only missing for a day, Dean. By the time you’re describing, you would have had to somehow meet Mia and magically heal your leg in like… an hour.”</p><p>Dean scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, well, that’s not what happened.”</p><p>“Okay, then what the hell are you talking about?”</p><p>“Just let me finish the story, okay?” Dean asked exasperatedly, but it was sincere, so Jody crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. Dean knew he couldn’t just start spewing the truth out of order just to answer questions. He was telling the story, and he couldn’t give away the ending until everything could make sense.</p><p>"I had lost a shit ton of blood, and all I understood at that moment was that Lucifer was standing in front of me. I may not have been in the right state of mind, but I knew what I was seeing. Lucifer tried to heal my leg but I was terrified of him, to be completely honest. And he respected that, and let me continue to be in pain because I didn't want him to touch me.</p><p>"For a couple of days, I stayed in that cabin, with Lucifer occasionally checking up on me and trying to convince me to let him heal me. Obviously, I thought he was just Lucifer back from the dead, and he was intrigued by me because I recognized him as Lucifer, but blamed him for things that never happened. Still, every time I saw him I hated him more and more, and eventually he got frustrated and left me alone. Of course, I'm a stubborn dick so I decided to try and go… somewhere else on my horrible leg."</p><p>The group was slightly surprised by Dean's honesty. Sure, they would eventually have to address the phone call, but this was a new level of self-awareness, one that they hadn't seen from Dean, ever. Scratch that, they did see it, the morning Mia insisted they visit Jody. A self-aware Dean that seemingly didn't exist until a week ago.</p><p>That was also odd, he said he spent a couple of days in that cabin, but Dean was only gone for a day.</p><p>"I went through the forest, but it wasn't long before I was fending off Purgatory monsters and I couldn't do anything about it when a Leviathan came and sort of… ate my stomach," Dean cringed a bit at the memory, and also at the looks on his family's faces. "I then got a very… wise… piece of advice from my subconscious," Dean added, trying very hard to stare directly at Cas. After all, it had been Dean's subconscious but delivered through the angel's visage. "So I did one last-ditch effort and prayed to Lucifer, who came almost immediately and healed me.</p><p>"We spent the next hour walking and talking, as he was taking me to some sort of base that a bunch of survivors lived in deeper into the woods. It was an abandoned high school filled with a couple hundred people that Lucifer was protecting. And with my newfound clarity after being healed, I could understand that it wasn't the Lucifer we knew, because that Lucifer is dead, and this one was in a different universe.</p><p>"I learned a lot about him. Chuck was pissed that Luc never hated humanity or fought against him, so he locked him in the cage anyway and lied to everyone about it, just so he could still write his stories, but for the most part, it seemed like none of his brothers actually believed it. His Michael certainly didn't and let him out about sixty years ago, but Chuck killed him for his efforts. I explained that Chuck dropped me off in Luc's world just so that I could have a slow death.</p><p>"We got back to the base and that's when I met Kevin, as you saw earlier," Dean mentioned, almost forgetting that Kevin had ever been in the room. "I'm sorry, I know it must be weird to see Kevin as a fully grown adult-"</p><p>"We know," Sam interrupted. "We watched the video."</p><p>Dean cocked his head slightly, not expecting any sort of acknowledgment from them quite yet. "Sorry, what video?"</p><p>"It was found at the crash site," Cas explained, albeit with very shifty eye contact. "A video of Mia's… birthday party?"</p><p>Dean nodded a bit, still confused. He assumed all the footage from that night was just… gone. He remembered that Kevin took a video of that night before the massacre because he was in it. And so was… Lucifer, and Raphael, and Kevin, and Jody. Oh dear god.</p><p>"Wait, so you already knew everything?!" Dean said, almost angry at them. "You knew that Luc was my friend, and that Jody was Mia's mom, and that I was gone for six years?! Why didn't you tell me that first?!"</p><p>Suddenly, based on their reactions, Dean could tell that maybe he screwed that one up. They seemed… horrified. Disgusted. Shocked. Mortified. Something and everything all at once. Dammit, they didn't know. But now they did.</p><p>There are different ways to react when someone tells you they've been gone for six years. Specifically, three.</p><p>All three were in front of him now.</p><p>First was Sam: suspicion and denial. The look on his face immediately betrayed the situation at hand. Dean had been missing for a day, and just said it was six years. Case in point, that could not be true and was therefore a lie. The conflict here came from the fact that Dean was his brother and while it had recently become obvious that Dean was lying a lot as of late, it was still Dean, who wouldn't say something like that unfoundedly.</p><p>The second was Jody: utter confusion. The look on her face just screamed out the absurdity of the claim. Why was Dean saying he was gone for six years? She had definitely seen him in the last six years… right? Of course, she had. So what did that mean? How was it possible? The difference between utter confusion and suspicion and denial was simply that Jody believed that Dean was telling the truth, she just didn't understand how it was possible.</p><p>Third was Cas: horror. This one was the worst because it was so simple. Cas believed Dean was telling the truth and didn't need to see the proof or understand why to be upset about it.</p><p>God, it was hard to look at him.</p><p>"We saw the tape so we knew that Kevin was alive in some way, but I don't know where you're pulling the rest of this bullshit from," Sam responded indignantly. It was a good thing that out of the three of them, Sam was the one to keep talking. After all, he was the only one who didn't believe what Dean said, which put Dean in a better position. Instead of having to explain what happened and how and why, he had to prove it happened at all, which was much less emotionally taxing of the two options.</p><p>"Right…" Dean responded, deciding to just dive back into the story. "Well, I met Kevin at this base of Luc's. Then I met Jody and… Mia." He awkwardly decided not to include Sean in there. He would tell them all everything in due time, but bringing up Sean now almost felt cruel considering Sean had little to do with the story besides being Dean's friend.</p><p>"Mia was sixteen years old when I met her, and as you can see, that's not the case anymore," Dean continued. "I stayed at the base for a little while, which turned into a long while, and eventually I had been staying there for years.</p><p>"Pretty quickly in I had befriended Luc and Kevin and I was spending all of my time with them, helping out around the base. I figured if we couldn't find a way to get me home, I could at least help teach people how to defend themselves in the meantime. Mia wanted to help too, but I had to talk her down from that by making her a promise. A promise that has come up in conversation and uncomfortable amount, and I'm sorry about that. But one part of the promise was that she would try and find me a way home, and that was her idea.</p><p>"A few years in, Mia found something. Journals, detailing accounts of a reclusive man living on a mountain who had a hoard of magical objects, including something we'd need to make a rift to send me back home, which was the Fruit from the Tree of Life. But Luc realized that the recluse was actually his brother, Raphael.</p><p>"Mia and I went up to the mountain to see him and try and get the Fruit because Luc was worried that Raph would hate him. When we got there, Raph was not only nice to us, he had both the Fruit and the blood required for the spell. He almost gave us some of his grace, but Mia let slip that we had Lucifer already. So Luc came to see him and Raphael believed him entirely, and he was just happy to see him.</p><p>"Then Raphael told us of this way to get rid of Chuck's powers for good, which is what you just saw. We needed to capture keys from each archangel inside a highly guarded box. Hence, the Ma'lak box you all saw under my bed, and again in here. The keys had to be for the prisons for each specific archangel, so they weren't always literal keys. Raphael, Lucifer, and Michael all had some, but Gabriel had been dead for so long that they couldn't figure out what his would be as easily as they did for Michael's.</p><p>"I figured that we could use the Gabriel that we knew because he was locked in a cage by Asmodeus for so long, so I thought his key might be an actual key.</p><p>"After… six years, they finally found the final ingredient for creating a rift to send me back here, and Luc made me an offer. He said that I could either just go back home after those six years… or he could send us through time along with the rift. To only twenty-four hours after Chuck stole me from this world. And that's where we are now, I'm sure you can pick up the pieces of what happened in this last week based on that story and what happened a few minutes ago."</p><p>Dean carefully watched their faces as his story was over. He highlighted every important fact except for Sean Mills and the massacre, but the latter had specifically been brought up a lot anyway.</p><p>After no one had said anything for a while, Dean added "so… if you have any questions…"</p><p>"Yeah, Dean, we have some questions!" Sam snapped at him. "None of that made any sense!"</p><p>"Well, did anything that happened this afternoon make sense? Or on the video you watched for that matter?"</p><p>"You're trying to tell us you were missing for six years. Do you even hear how you sound?"</p><p>"Wait a minute," Castiel interrupted what was sure to become another brotherly squabble. "If Mia doesn't have any magic, then how was Max Banes healed? And why did he credit her and refer to her as a fellow witch?"</p><p>"I called Luc," Dean supplied awkwardly. "We sort of had to explain what was going on, and he really didn't like that I was lying to you guys. Somehow Mia convinced him to keep my secret, but I still don't know how."</p><p>"Speaking of," Jody interjected, the group now seemingly jumping from topic to topic. "Why keep that a secret? Why not outright tell everyone you were gone for six years, and that you needed to find this other key thing?"</p><p>Dean sat down finally and very earnestly, running a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. "It was a lot to cover," Dean admitted. "And I didn't know where the hell to start. I figured that as long as I could leave you guys out of things I wouldn't have to worry about you, but honestly? I think I just didn't want to have this conversation. You got to understand, I spent six damn years waiting for my moment to come home, and I didn't want to waste it with you all looking at me like I'm some lost puppy. I just wanted everything to be normal and reset to what it was before I left… but it can't."</p><p>For once, Sam's frustrated demeanor softened. "Why not?"</p><p>Dean looked up at them with wide, sad, and honest eyes. "It can't go back to normal because I'm not normal. I learned that the hard way. I'm nothing like I was six years ago, just like last week I was nothing like I was the six years before those. But it wasn't just your average tragedy-changes-a-man crap. It was six years without my family, six years in charge of almost two hundred people who relied on me to lead them and help protect them, six years of taking care of people, of mentoring Mia, of being a friend to Lucifer. Six years of a job that I didn't sign up for, and honestly, it was six years of no hunting. Sure, we'd fight the occasional Purgatory monster, but there was no canvassing, no research, no twists and turns, no hunting. And I know I'm not the same Dean I was before I left. And I know you can all tell that something happened, and it wasn't just because of the things I would slip up and say. It's how I act."</p><p>They were all a bit stunned. Dean was being honest, that much was very clearly apparent.</p><p>Dean wasn't lying.</p><p>Dean was gone for six years.</p><p>Six years?! That's a long-ass time. A long time for them all to just not know about, to just not be aware of. And what did that mean, really? Did it mean that there was a time out there where they searched for Dean for six fucking years and it was just erased in a snap? A horrible life they'd never know?</p><p>Six years and all it was a day. A single day that encapsulated six years of development and change for Dean. Six years of loneliness and pain that he had to go through and come out of.</p><p>Six years and a day.</p><p>"What you said at my house…" Jody began hesitantly, not sure who should speak next. "...about being there when an angel killed Mia's mother… that angel was Ruth, right?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And that mother was… me?"</p><p>"It's a bit more complicated than that," Dean assured her. "Yes, it was Jody Mills, but that's not you. A completely different woman who only shares your face and name. Nothing else. And that Jody was… whew. She was not like you at all." A little smile formed on Dean's face as he remembered Jody's distanced reference to him as "Winchester" exclusively, and the way she held him at arm's length. He did miss her sometimes, and he had always assumed it was because she looked like the Jody he was with right now, but that wasn't it. Jody may have been frustrating, but she was still a part of his life for four years. And he still wanted to protect her.</p><p>"But she sees me as her mother," Jody prompted. "That's why she ran out of my house, why she stole my photo, why she had some sort of panic attack? Because I'm her mother!"</p><p>"You look like her mother, you are not actually her mother," Dean reminded her. "You didn't give birth to her, you didn't raise her, and you certainly weren't brutally murdered during a massacre that occurred on her birthday," Dean informed her sternly. He would say anything to help her understand that Mia was not her responsibility.</p><p>"She doesn't see it that way, Dean," Jody fired back, just as stern. "Why else would she have acted the way she did? Or even came to see me at all for that matter?"</p><p>"Yes, and this was the kind of situation I was trying to avoid!" Dean shot back. "I knew it wasn't a good idea, but she cornered me by asking in front of you guys," Dean gestured to Sam and Cas, "and I couldn't find a reason to say no. Not a real reason at least. I knew it would be a bad idea because I knew how hard it was to see the faces of people you love after years apart and pretend that those years didn't happen. When Mia looked at you she saw her mother, but her mother is dead, Jody."</p><p>His words were more telling than he intended. Sam and Cas swapped a worried, sad, oh-shit-is-this-real kind of look that Dean promptly ignored. </p><p>But his words seemed to suffice for now, as Jody leaned back in her seat, folding her arms. Clearly, this wasn't sitting right with her, but she had nothing to argue for. What could she say? That she wanted Mia to be her daughter? That wasn't really the problem at hand here.</p><p>No, the problem that was growing more and more evident by the second was that Dean Winchester had spent six years away from them, desperately trying to get back, and they didn't do anything to help him or reach out and tell him it was okay because they didn't know about any of it.</p><p>"... Dean," Sam began after a long silence. "Were you really gone for that long?" It was sad and earnest and very much like the little brother that Sam was.</p><p>Dean chewed his lip awkwardly. This was Sammy he had to talk to, and he didn't think it would be this hard. On one hand, he knew it was time for the truth to be out there, but on the other, it was really hard to be honest when feelings were involved.</p><p>Sure, Dean had grown much more comfortable feeling things during his years spent in the other world, but it was out of necessity, not out of any real personal growth that would have come naturally with age. Dean was only different because of his circumstances and had those changed, maybe he wouldn't be different at all.</p><p>Then of course came the juggling of morality when it came to Luc. Obviously, everyone hated and feared him, but what could he do to change their minds? Luc had become his best friend out of necessity, and that didn't exist now that Chuck was gone. What if they always feared him? Dean couldn't live the rest of his life unable to spend any of it with that stupid archangel.</p><p>"Why did you lie?" Sam asked, his voice small. Jody had basically asked the same question already, but it was asked when Sam wasn't quite on boars with knowing his big brother was locked away for six years.</p><p>Dean gave him a small shrug. "I didn't know how."</p><p>"That's a lie," Sam called him out.</p><p>Dean let out a small sigh before fixing his brother with the most honest expression he had. "Because I didn't want you to look at me like that," he replied.</p><p>Dean didn't want pity, and that was precisely what he was getting. He didn't need it. He had been fine over there, he wasn't tortured or locked in a cage. He didn't receive the fates that any of the archangels had. Sure, he'd been taken from his family, and yes, the first few nights were downright hellish because of the terror and the broken leg and the devil, but he had a family. He had a life, and a responsibility, and an uncomfortable linoleum floor with a roof over his head and archangel keeping him safe.</p><p>All of that didn't change how miserable he was. Yes, he loved Mia and Kev and Luc and Raph, but he ached for his home, his bunker, his brother, his angel. He missed them every day. He didn't belong in that world, and he could feel it with every step and every breath.</p><p>So why couldn't he just have a seamless return? Why couldn't he just want things to be just like he left them when he got back? Was it really so bad to want that? To lie in order to get that?</p><p>He already knew that it was. Mia proved his suspicion when she couldn't even manage to spend an hour lying to Jody. Dean had an advantage she didn't have, it was his Sam and his Cas waiting for him. Technically, if he had been able to pull off the lies, if everything had gone according to plan and he hadn't been in that car accident coming from Hell, then he would have the ability to pretend that nothing happened.</p><p>But they all knew it wasn't true. Mia had a panic attack after an hour. Kevin was certainly in for plenty because of his lack of constitution and abundance of fears. Dean thought he was going to die in that car, and he very well might have. He'd be remembering that phone call for a long time. But mainly, they were shitty liars.</p><p>"Well… you look good for your age," Sam muttered, slightly humorously. Dean appreciated that attempt and laughed with him.</p><p>"Yeah, well, Luc did me this favor. Figured if I had to keep those years a secret, my gray hair and caveman beard would have to go."</p><p>"Did you really have a caveman beard?!" Sam jumped on it immediately, a small smirk growing on his face.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "Of course not! And I didn't have gray hair either, so don't you even start!" He corrected his brother smugly.</p><p>The smile on Sam's face increased ever so slightly. "Wait a second… that means that you're-"</p><p>"Don't you dare!" Dean interjected defensively. "I may be older now, but I'm still just as devilishly handsome, definitely more so than you-"</p><p>"Dean, can we talk for a minute?" Cas interrupted, finally speaking for the first time during this entire conversation.</p><p>Uh oh.</p><p>Dean tried to hide his audible nervous gulp as he stood back up. "Yeah, of course, Cas," he said quietly. He couldn't even maintain composure for a single goddamn second!</p><p>Cas stood as well and briskly walked away from the group toward the hall, and to where Dean assumed would inevitably be the kitchen. He took a second before following after Cas had already disappeared from sight.</p><p>Jody looked lost in thought, and Sam was staring blankly but still smiling slightly at the floor so Dean figured he didn't need to stick around for that.</p><p>When he turned the corner to where the kitchen was at the end of the hall, Cas had already gone in. This was it. This was a moment he had been terrified of.</p><p>He slowly walked toward the entrance to the kitchen. Every step made it seem like it was even further away.</p><p>What did Cas want to talk about that they couldn't talk about in front of Sam and Jody? Easy, he was going to tell him how pissed he was for lying or kill him or something.</p><p>Okay, so he wouldn't do either of those things. Big deal. He probably hated Dean regardless.</p><p>Cas was standing in the kitchen when Dean arrived, the hunter's hands shoved in his pockets uncomfortably. "Hey, Cas," he greeted him awkwardly. Cas folded his arms.</p><p>"Dean," he acknowledged curtly. "Look, I could stand here all day and ask you question after question about what happened, and I do fully expect you to give us a day by day rundown of the last six years," he fixed him with a stern glare that made Dean wish he died in that car wreck. "But," he continued, "we need to talk about something else here."</p><p>Dean put his hands in the air. "Look, I know we all agreed no more lying, I just didn't know how to even address the fact that I had been missing for six years and-"</p><p>"Dammit, Dean! No! I'm talking about the phone call!" Castiel blurted out in frustration. "The phone call you made when we thought you were dead."</p><p>Dean froze for a moment. In all the stress surrounding finally telling the truth, he had momentarily forgotten about his little confession of love at all. </p><p>Dean sighed and leaned against the doorframe that served as the entrance to the kitchen. "Look, Cas, it's fine. We don't have to do this. I was just… panicking. I really thought we were going to die, and I had to fulfill my promises. But I know it sucks that I dropped that on you."</p><p>Cas tilted his head ever so slightly, not giving away anything he was feeling, which annoyed Dean to no end. "Dean… was it… true? Was it how you said it?"</p><p>Dean paused thoughtfully for a moment, but it was hardly long as only a second later he said, "yeah". </p><p>Neither knew what to say, so Dean decided to just keep going. "Yes. Yes, Cas, I meant it how I said it. Honestly, I was thinking of every excuse on my way over here today. I thought about saying that I meant I love you as my friend, or that I love you like a brother, but that's not how I feel.</p><p>"I know six years isn't an eternity, Cas. But it was enough time for me to be honest with myself. And I knew that inevitably, I could never lie to you about this. I have treated you horribly for so many years, and maybe it's because I was in love with you, or maybe I'm just a stubborn asshole, but I just couldn't face the way things were here. Between us. I'd rather you hate me because I love you than have you hate me because I'm a dick.</p><p>"Look, I know what I've done here is… weird. And I totally understand if you're uncomfortable with me now. I only ask that if you decide to leave you let Sam know it's on me, okay?"</p><p>Cas hadn't changed his expression once during Dean's defensive rambling.</p><p>The angel was quite honestly shocked. He hadn't expected any of what he was hearing. Certainly not this new level of self-awareness that Dean had achieved, not to mention the fact that he didn't lie or go back on what he said.</p><p>"Dean, when-"</p><p>"No, seriously," Dean interrupted hurriedly. "You don't have to say anything, I get it and I'm not trying to freak you out or anything. But I refuse to be embarrassed because I actually do-"</p><p>"Shut up!" Cas shouted, a little bit more aggressively than intended, but it did the trick. "You've been talking all afternoon, and it's my turn now, okay?" Dean nodded and Cas sighed, letting his tense shoulders drop a bit. "I knew you didn't die in that crash."</p><p>"...thanks?" Dean responded apprehensively, not sure what to say.</p><p>"It's not a compliment," Cas rolled his eyes, "though you never were one for dying. I knew you weren't dead for the same reason I knew you left last week."</p><p>Dean blinked at him, confused and surprised. "Well, of course, I was gone for like a day and-"</p><p>"No, I knew you were gone. Like, gone gone. To another plane of existence, as it were."</p><p>Dean raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me you knew I mysteriously disappeared for six years in the span of one evening?"</p><p>"Of course not!" Cas snapped, though he knew it was his fault for pausing to let Dean have input. "Dean, I can feel it when you're gone. It's this empty, hollow feeling in my chest. I know it sounds a bit strange, but I've felt it before. Whenever you're in Hell or Heaven or otherwise inaccessible to me, I can feel it like an absence in my own being. I felt it all day, until about an hour before we saw you with Mia, presumably when you reappeared on our world."</p><p>Castiel completely expected rolled eyes or a manly-man level of discomfort that he usually got when discussing personal or emotional matters with him, but Dean looked surprisingly curious. "Interesting…" Dean muttered. "You're describing the same feeling I had over there. I wrote it off as dread or homesickness or something, but it was pretty damn persistent."</p><p>Cas tried not to look surprised, but he couldn't tell by Dean's expression if he was successful or not. "Anyway," Cas continued, "I knew something was wrong that day. I assumed you were dead, and I told Sam about it, but I couldn't quite get him to understand it himself, since he couldn't feel it. When the car accident happened, I knew you weren't dead because I didn't feel anything."</p><p>Dean stared at him blankly. "Look, Cas, that's cool and all, but I don't see what it has to do with the… phone call, I guess."</p><p>Castiel held back the eye roll he could feel coming on. Dean was so difficult to talk to, even after six years of maturing. "What I'm trying to say is… I hated it when you were gone. I hated it. And yes, it was one day, but it's all I needed. The moment I felt that pit in my chest was the moment I realized that I loved you too."</p><p>Dean was frozen. That was something he had not expected. He pushed away Mia's voice chanting "I told you so" in his head.</p><p>No. It was a lie. It had to be, Cas was just trying to make him feel better about embarrassing himself.</p><p>"Seriously, Cas, you don't have to lie. I know what I said but I'm not embarrassed by it, I just had to say it, and you don't really love me, you just want me to-"</p><p>Dean was cut off as Cas marched up to him, cupped his face in his hands, and kissed him. Just like that.</p><p>The kiss lasted for a few moments before Cas pulled away, smirking at the man who currently looked irredeemably shellshocked.</p><p>"I love you, Dean," Cas said again. "I always have, it just took some time to know it."</p><p>Dean didn't know what was happening, but before he knew it, he was crying. Scratch that, sobbing. The world was dizzy and he had to clutch onto the doorframe as he slid to the ground, hardly even noticing Cas diving to his knees in front of him.</p><p>He finally broke down and lost it. With everything that happened, he knew he should be happy. Chuck was defeated, the truth was out, and Cas said he loved him. Loved him. But yet he found himself unable to stop crying.</p><p>He was home. He had been home for a week, but he'd been lying and it had been so goddamn hard to look at Cas, but now he was finally home, and he didn't have to worry anymore, and he didn't know how to do that.</p><p>He didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve for Cas to love him, he didn't deserve to have Luc or Mia or Kevin or Raphael, he didn't deserve to win.</p><p>He felt Cas's hands on his face, holding it up and trying to get Dean to look at him, and Dean took in a deep shaky breath, trying to spare his dignity. He only felt worse as he saw that Cas looked scared.</p><p>"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas' voice was threatening, but not to Dean. It was the kind of voice that was ready to fight anything that was hurting him. "Is it me?"</p><p>Dean shook his head wildly, his insistence on not hurting Cas anymore than he already had taking over his headspace and helping him stop crying. "No, of course not!" Dean said between sobs. He paused to let the tears slow down again. "I should have just died six years ago. Or two years ago, when Ruth tried to kill me."</p><p>Castiel punched him.</p><p>He punched him.</p><p>Dean held onto the spot on his face where he had been punched gingerly, all his crying done now, and he stared at Cas, wide-eyed and incredulous. "What the hell Cas?!"</p><p>"I lost you that day," Cas said angrily, not acknowledging the fact that he punched the man he just confessed his love to. "I lost you, and it was only for a single day. Don't you dare think you should have died. I would have been miserable, Dean! I would have spent every damn day waiting for you! And we wouldn't have known what happened! Sam and I would have never stopped looking for you, not for a single second! I would have spent every night and day scanning every inch of this world to find you, and I wouldn't have been able to."</p><p>Dean ducked his head sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Cas. I just…" he didn't have an excuse. Cas was right, and Mia was right. </p><p>It was just like the conversation he had with Mia by the waterfall when they met Raphael, where she knew that if Dean didn't get to go home Cas wouldn't rest until he was found. Dean never really thought about how selfish his self-deprecation was until now, seeing Cas like this. He never wanted to be the reason Cas looked that angry, or sad for that matter.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Dean admitted, defeated. "I love you," he added, looking back up at the angel. "I shouldn't have… I should have thought about you and Sam. I didn't, and I'm sorry."</p><p>"I'm just glad you're home," Castiel said softly. He reached forward and gently pulled Dean toward him, wrapping him in his arms. Dean gratefully let him and ended up practically cradled in the angel's lap as he buried his face in his chest, holding the angel's trenchcoat in his fist as Cas had one hand rubbing up and down Dean's back and the other lost in his hair.</p><p>They were certainly a sight, sitting there curled together on the cold kitchen floor, but Dean never felt as safe as he did at that moment. He glanced up at Cas and smiled at him. "Thank you," he said.</p><p>Cas smiled back at him. "For what?"</p><p>"For everything you've ever done for me and Sam. I know you sacrificed a lot for us."</p><p>Cas kissed Dean's forehead. "It wasn't a sacrifice, Dean. Ever since I met you, I had no doubts about being with you." The angel looked at him, his face falling ever so slightly. "I just wish I could have saved you from those years you spent away from us."</p><p>Dean looked back down as he rested his head against the angel's chest again. "I was lucky," he noted. "I had a family there. I just missed this one."</p><p>-</p><p>Dean and Cas walked back out to the main room of the bunker where Sam and Jody were worriedly talking in the corner. They both spun the moment Castiel and Dean reappeared, so it was obvious they were talking about them.</p><p>"What… uh… what were you guys talking about?" Sam asked, trying to sound casual but failing. </p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. "You mean, were we talking about the fact that I told Cas I was in love with him?"</p><p>Sam and Jody nodded, both now failing to look normal. "You know,  that, or maybe something else," Sam tried to say like a normal person. It was obvious their curiosity was getting the better of them, as Jody was rocking back and forth on her feet.</p><p>Dean turned to face Cas, grabbed his trenchcoat collar, and pulled him toward him, kissing him. He then broke away, leaving an incredibly red-faced angel, to smirk at his brother.</p><p>Sam and Jody both had a big smile on their faces. "Fucking finally!" Sam shouted a little too loudly. "I have been watching you two tiptoe around each other for YEARS!"</p><p>Dean chuckled a bit at that, and Cas still looked shocked. Even though Cas had been the one to kiss Dean in the kitchen, he was blushing and looked star-struck.</p><p>"FUCKING FINALLY!" Mia's voice made everyone turn around, jumping a bit. She was standing there, looking excited as all hell, next to Luc, who looked embarrassed to have been noticed, clearly not wanting to intrude.</p><p>"What does she mean, 'fucking finally'?" Cas reiterated, glaring at Dean.</p><p>"Hey, I was gone for three years and it only took me like two weeks before I realized I was in love with you. Who was I supposed to talk to?"</p><p>"It was me!" Mia said, a little too eagerly and a little too loudly. "I'm the one that made him tell you. He promised me he would tell you!"</p><p>"Promise? Like the promise you told me about the night we met?" Cas asked her with a raised eyebrow, warily avoiding looking at the terrifying archangel next to her.</p><p>"You told him?!" Dean snapped at her, surprised.</p><p>"Well, I didn't tell him everything!"</p><p>"What exactly was this deal?" Jody asked, genuinely curious and wanting to say something to be a part of this conversation. </p><p>Mia smiled almost evilly and both Luc and Dean rolled their eyes. They were practically in sync. "When I was sixteen, I wanted to help fight Purgatory monsters, but I sucked at it. So I made a deal with Dean. I would stay away from the action as long as he promised to actually go home, no matter what the situation was, should we have found him a way back here. I also promised I would do whatever he said, whenever he said it if he promised to tell Castiel how he felt about him when he got back."</p><p>"That promise has haunted me for years," Dean muttered, nodding along with her accounts. Noticing Cas's offended face, he quickly added, "because she never shuts up about it!"</p><p>Luc cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, if you have some time, I have a present for you," he said to Dean with a small little smile. Luc only ever smiled like that when he was excited about something, like a surprise. It always gave away that there was a surprise, like how Dean knew he was going to have a surprise party three years ago after Luc gave him that face saying they were going to "go pick something up".</p><p>"What kind of present?" Dean asked warily.</p><p>Luc shrugged with his stupid grin still plastered. "You'll have to come outside with me to see," he said before disappearing into thin air.</p><p>"That son of a bitch!" Dean shouted, but it was obvious he wasn't mad. He glanced over at Sam and then to Cas beside him, basically telling them to come with him.</p><p>He was a bit worried they'd pull back, but Sam clapped him on the shoulder with a small smile and walked in front of him toward the stairs. Cas grabbed his hand and squeezed it, and Dean felt his face get a little red but squeezed it back.</p><p>"Jody, I have something for you too," Mia added, sending Dean a look that he completely understood. He nodded to her, leaving the two alone.</p><p>Dean and Cas walked hand and hand through the garage and outside to the dirt drive, meeting up with Sam who was already gawking at Luc's present. </p><p>Right in front of them was a shiny, used, Chevy Impala.</p><p>"Baby!" Dean shouted, breaking his hand from Cas's to comically hug the hood of the car. Cas rolled his eyes and Sam just laughed, putting his arm around the angel's shoulder. "Oh, how I missed you!" Dean glanced back up at Luc who was leaning nonchalantly against the door, though it was obvious he was proud of himself. "How did you fix her?"</p><p>Luc put his hands in the air. "Oh, no, sorry, yours was beyond me. I can heal people, Dean, not cars. But I felt bad when we were fighting, so I went back to my world with the ingredients we had and brought back the other world's 'Baby' equivalent. Fully decked out with the carving you and your brother made, and the little toys rattling in the air vents."</p><p>"You did all this for me while I was sneaking out behind your back?" Dean asked with a guilty look.</p><p>Luc waved his hand through the air. "You're my best friend, Dean, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, even if you make some questionable decisions."</p><p>"Thanks, Luc," Dean said earnestly. </p><p>"Yeah… this will take some getting used to…" Sam interjected awkwardly. </p><p>Lucifer walked warily toward them, watching carefully to back off if they were to flinch. "It's so wonderful to meet you both, Dean's told me fundamentally everything about you," he said, holding out his hand.</p><p>Sam still eyed him skeptically, but Cas took his hand and shook it. "From what little we've heard this far, I believe we owe you a lot of gratitude," he admitted, swallowing his fear of just looking at that archangel's face. Watching Lucifer fight Ruth and hate Chuck, and then hearing what Dean said about him made it a hell of a lot easier to understand that this was not the Lucifer they knew.</p><p>"I have plenty of embarrassing Dean stories to tell you," Lucifer said with an evil glint in his eye in an attempt to win Sam over.</p><p>It worked, as Sam leaned forward slightly, looking intrigued.</p><p>"Let me tell you all about Kevin's karaoke machine…"</p><p>Meanwhile, Jody and Mia were downstairs in the bunker together. Jody was having a hard time looking at Mia, knowing what she knew now about her involvement in her life.</p><p>"So, I wanted to give you something," Mia told her. Jody just shrugged and nodded, so Mia closed her eyes.</p><p>Jody stared at her, confused, but then three figures appeared in the room out of nowhere. Two she had seen earlier, the archangel Raphael and the undead Kevin Tran, but Raphael brought with him another person.</p><p>Her husband, Sean.</p><p>Jody's eyes widened, and Mia quickly stepped in between her and Sean. "Jody, I know that he's not the Sean you knew. I hope you know that as well. But from what I've heard from Dean, you're a spitfire just like my mom, and my dad is just as much of a kind lug as your Sean was. I figured that maybe you both could use someone who knows what you've gone through. Someone who knows what it's like to lose a Mills."</p><p>Jody nodded a minuscule amount, and Mia stepped out of the way, backing up to stand next to Kevin and Raph against the wall.</p><p>Sean walked tentatively toward Jody, holding something in his hands. "Um… here, I believe this is yours," he said, holding out a photo. The photo that Mia stole from her house, specifically.</p><p>Hearing his voice again made her tear up. "Thank you," she said, choking on her words.</p><p>It was easier for Sean, they told him what he was getting himself into, but Jody? She had no time to prepare. Not to mention that her Sean had been dead for ten years now.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Sean added, cutting through the silence. "Maybe this was a bad idea. It's just… I know you aren't her. And I'm not your Sean either. But I-"</p><p>"You want to get out of here, maybe grab a cup of coffee?" Jody interrupted. Sean perked up and nodded with a small smile. </p><p>Jody had a very confusing day, but any chance to see someone at all like her husband was a chance she'd be willing to take.</p><p>Dean, Cas, Sam, and Luc all walked back in, passing Jody and Sean on the stairs as they headed out. Dean's eyes widened and he gave Mia a thumbs up, of which she reciprocated.</p><p>Dean clapped his hands together as he reached the bottom of the stairs. </p><p>"All right, where do we go from here?"</p><p>-</p><p>One month passed from the day they took away Chuck's powers. Sam was juggling three beers in his hand as he walked into Dean's room, seeing Dean resting his head on Castiel's lap as the angel played with his hair, just like how he left them.</p><p>"Okay, do you guys think that maybe movie night isn't the time for you to be all cute and coupley?" Sam chided as tossed the beers on the bed beside them.</p><p>"Do you think that maybe movie night isn't the time for you to be all pissy?" Dean snapped back, earning a laugh from his brother.</p><p>"Jerk," Sam sneered as he bounced down on the mattress beside them.</p><p>"Bitch," Dean responded, crossing one leg over the other while lying flat on his back still, now intertwining his fingers with Castiel's.</p><p>As Dean was mindlessly playing with Cas's hand, lifting it up and down like a child, he caught a glimpse of his watch. "Shit!" Dean shouted, catapulting himself from the bed and stumbling onto the ground. "I was supposed to drive Kevin to get his license tonight!"</p><p>All three of them ran out to the main room of the bunker to see Kevin standing there with Mia and Luc, his arms crossed.</p><p>"Dean, how nice to see you," he said dryly.</p><p>"I can explain!"</p><p>"Let me guess, he and Cas were being all cute so he completely forgot anyone else in the world existed?" Mia specifically asked Sam.</p><p>"Hey-"</p><p>"Oh my god, yes, again," Sam said with a humorous eye roll. Cas was quietly laughing in the corner watching his boyfriend's face get all red.</p><p>"It's alright, I took care of it!" Luc said with a laugh, walking over to Dean and throwing his arm around him in greeting. "I still don't know why you guys insist on driving everywhere."</p><p>"Because it freaks people out if you teleport," Dean pointed out. "Why are you all here anyway? Just to yell at me for forgetting?"</p><p>"No, to tell you I aced my driver's test!" Kevin said with a proud grin. "Now can I drive your car?"</p><p>"Excuse me? The last time you drove my car you totaled it!"</p><p>"No, a cloud of demon smoke totaled it! I was an excellent driver, and you know it!"</p><p>"An 'excellent' driver wouldn't have nearly gotten me KILLED-"</p><p>"We're also here," Mia interrupted, "because I got accepted into Augustana!"</p><p>"Mia that's amazing!" Dean walked over and hugged her. "How the hell did you even get in? I thought Sean said it would be impossible to get accepted to any university given that you didn't graduate high school."</p><p>"Yeah, but I passed my GED in like two weeks, and with a great recommendation from Sheriff Jody Mills and a sprinkle of forged identification, I was a shoo-in."</p><p>"I'm so proud of you, Mia," Dean said, beaming. "Where are you going to stay?"</p><p>"I thought about asking to stay with Jody and my dad, but I figured I spent enough years sharing a room with them," she answered jokingly. "So since classes start in a week, Kev's going to get a car and we've already found an apartment."</p><p>"Correction, I found an apartment," Luc chimed in. "You two just argued over sharing a bathroom for two weeks."</p><p>"Sounds like them," Dean said, folding his arms.</p><p>Luc smiled at him, and as Sam and Cas started asking Mia and Kevin a barrage of questions, the archangel jerked his head toward the hall, inviting Dean to walk with him.</p><p>"How's everything going, Dean? You settling in okay?" Luc asked as they walked down the halls together.</p><p>Dean clapped his friend on the shoulder. "You shouldn't worry so much," he said joyfully. "I'm happy, Luc. Hell, I've never been this happy. Cas and Sam have been enjoying their little vacation, but they're ready to get back to hunting after I told them about last week's hunt. Sam's really starting to come around to you, and the fact that we've been hunting together."</p><p>Lucifer looked a bit guilty. "About that," he began, "I wanted to tell you, I don't think we're going to be hunting together."</p><p>Dean looked concerned and confused. "Look, Luc, we've only been out twice! You'll get better pretending to be a Fed, I promise. You're already doing a great job."</p><p>"It's not that," Luc reassured him. "I like hunting with you, I think it's fun and important and you're my best friend, but… this isn't where I need to be."</p><p>Dean nodded along slowly. Though he was disappointed and approaching furious, he couldn't say he was surprised.</p><p>After the day where everything came out, they had been trying to get back to normal. Jody and Sean were living together and building a relationship with one another, Mia had goals of going off to college and Kevin just wanted to start a new life.</p><p>Sam and Cas wanted a break, some time to recover from everything and try to understand the fact that Dean had been gone six years. It was very difficult to wrap one's head around. Dean didn't feel the same. He missed hunting, he had missed a hunt for six years. Killing monsters left and right wasn't the same as a case, long hours in the car, helping people, even the research. Luc was ecstatic when Dean asked if he would be his partner.</p><p>But something was off about Luc ever since they got home. Even before they defeated Chuck it was obvious. And now? Dean had been expecting Luc to want to go home. To his home.</p><p>"Raphael is trying to build a new world," Luc explained. "He's picking up the pieces back home, and it's my responsibility as much as it is his. It's my world. This has been fun, but I can't hide out here forever. Rowena's back to ruling Hell, and Chuck's locked away with Ruth. You're home, and you're safe, and that's all that mattered to me."</p><p>"I'll go back with you!" Dean insisted. "I'll stay there until everything is fixed, and then you can just pop me back through that rift to the moment I left, just like last time!"</p><p>"It doesn't work like that. I did it one time and I erased those six years from your appearance, but I can't do it to you again, who knows what would happen. You would have to let time pass normally, and that would kill them. Dean, be reasonable."</p><p>"Reasonable? Be reasonable?! Luc, you're leaving us. Tell me how reasonable that is."</p><p>"You have your life, and you have your family!"</p><p>"You're my family!" Dean shouted, taken aback. "Luc, you can't… you can't expect me to live here without you."</p><p>"You were just saying how easy it's been! How good and happy you are with Sam and Cas."</p><p>"This transition hasn't been easy!" Dean snapped back at him. "My mattress is too soft, my blankets are too heavy, these halls are too empty. Things that are supposed to be better just feel wrong, Luc. I'm trying, and I'm getting there, but I need you. You're my best friend, Luc, and you're asking me to give you up!"</p><p>Lucifer shook his head. "No, not give me up. Let me go," he said softly. "I love you too, Dean. And it breaks my heart to leave you and Mia and Kevin and Sean, but I can't stay. And you have to. This is where our paths split."</p><p>"I can't accept that," Dean responded, but there was less resistance in his tone.</p><p>Lucifer placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, standing directly across from him. "The day I fished you from the river changed my life," the archangel told him. "I would have never done any of the things we did without you. For once, I wasn't the bad guy, and I wasn't the fearless hero, I was just who I was. I wasn't Satan, I wasn't the devil, I wasn't the archangel Lucifer, I was Luc. You gave that to me. </p><p>"Dean, when I look at you, I see Michael. I see the sacrifice he made to free me. You did the same, and you'd do it again in a heartbeat, but I can't let you. There is nothing I want more than for you to come back to my world with me, but that would be selfish.</p><p>"Michael didn't free me from my cage so that I could abuse my power to force you to stick around. Leaving you here is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have to do it. And I hope you'll stick by my decision."</p><p>Dean contemplated his words. "Will I ever see you again?" He asked, admitting defeat.</p><p>"I hope so," Luc said earnestly. "I'm leaving you with the ingredients for the rift spell. It's probably enough for two, maybe three more roundtrips. So, use them in emergencies. But I hope you'll save one, for your last days on Earth. I want to be there with you, even if we can't live our lives side by side."</p><p>Dean didn't wait any longer before wrapping Luc in a hug that was quickly and tearfully reciprocated. "I couldn't have lived without you, and I am so glad that I have known you, even if only for a few years," Dean mumbled into Luc's shoulder. </p><p>As they pulled away, Dean had to wipe some tears from his eyes. Lucifer smiled and cupped the hunter's cheek with his hand.</p><p>"Before I go, just let me leave you with some parting words," Luc began gently. "Don't waste this time you have. Don't waste your brother, don't waste Castiel. You can do anything you desire now, you're free. So do me a favor, be free from now on, okay?"</p><p>Lic turned to leave, but Dean reached forward and grabbed his arm. "Wait, let me get something before you go," he said before hurrying off around the corner. </p><p>When he returned he handed Luc a beaten, folded up piece of paper. Luc didn't need to unfold it to know what it was, but he did so anyway.</p><p>"Why are you letting me have this?" The archangel asked in awe, studying that old polaroid picture that Dean carried with him every day for six years.</p><p>"You fixed it for me the day you took me back to the base, remember? I showed you guys this photo all the time, and I looked at it every day. I don't need it anymore, because I have that life from the photo back. But maybe you'll want it, to remember me by."</p><p>Luc beamed down at the picture. A picture where Dean looked so happy, a feeling that he knew Dean felt again. Sam made him this happy. Cas made him this happy.</p><p>Dean didn't need him anymore. And that's all Luc was waiting for.</p><p>-</p><p>Dean walked slowly back into the main room, achingly aware of the lack of Luc's presence on this earth. The room was empty, all except for Castiel who was leaning over the table and drumming his fingers.</p><p>Cas perked up when he saw Dean. "Listen, I won't lie to you, Sam took Mia and Kevin to go drive your car. I knew you'd be upset, so I wanted to stay and warn you." Dean began crossing the room toward him and Cas looked nervous. "Are you angry with me? You seem angry. What are you going to-"</p><p>Dean cut him off by kissing him, pressing him against the table and kissing him for a long time.</p><p>Castiel was breathless when Dean broke the kiss apart and he confusedly wrapped him in his arms when the hunter buried his face in his shoulder.</p><p>"Dean, what's wrong my love?" He asked with concern as he stroked Dean's scalp, running his hand up and down his head beneath his hair.</p><p>"Luc is gone," Dean's voice was muffled. "He went home and… I wanted to go with him."</p><p>Cas immediately broke the hug, grabbing Dean's shoulders and pushing him back but gripping onto him. "What?"</p><p>"Cas, I didn't go, obviously," Dean said with a small chuckle, reaching up and stroking the angel's hand that rested on his left shoulder. "It's just going to be hard to be away from him now. Luc is my best friend and I… liked having him here."</p><p>Cas pulled his hands away and took a few steps back, leaving Dean with a confused and slightly hurt look on his face.</p><p>"I think you should go."</p><p>Dean's eyebrows reached the top of his head. "Excuse me?"</p><p>Cas folded his arms tightly to his chest and shrugged tensely. "You should go with him. That place apparently means something to you, Luc definitely means something to you, so I think you should go."</p><p>"Cas I wouldn't be able to come back the moment I left like I did last time. I would have to just let time pass like it's supposed to."</p><p>Cas bit his lip, hating that detail, but he was sticking to his point. "Doesn't matter," he said simply. "It's about what makes you happy."</p><p>Dean marched back over to the angel and took his hands very forcefully. "Look at me," he said, and then squeezed his hands extra tight when he didn't. "I said look at me!" Cas finally did, but it was obvious he didn't want to meet his gaze. "Cas, you make me happy. This life, our life, makes me happy. I'm not leaving home and I'm not leaving you."</p><p>Dean waited a second trying to read Cas's expression, but he was quickly and suddenly tackled in a hug that almost took him to the ground, with Cas latching onto him for dear life.</p><p>"Thank god," Cas said, his voice cracking by Dean's ear as he continued to hold onto him. "I was lying, I don't care if Luc makes you happier than us, I didn't want you to leave. I could barely live one single day without you, feeling that empty feeling. I couldn't imagine months or years."</p><p>Dean giggled slightly as it was his turn to brush his hands through the angel's hair. "I'm not going anywhere you won't be."</p><p>"Promise?"</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>-</p><p>When Sam came back with the Impala, the three of them plus Mia and Kevin went back to Dean's room to finish movie night.</p><p>Everyone was passed out in different corners of the room. Sam fell asleep on a chair, Kevin was straight-up lying face down on the floor, Mia was curled at the foot of the bed, and Cas was draped over Dean gracelessly, one arm and one leg crossing over Dean's body. </p><p>Dean was lying face up, staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes again and found his mind drifting off to that all familiar river where he floated face up, staring at the stars.</p><p>He looked over to his right and saw Cas, still curled around him as he was on the bed, sound asleep. That was different than usual, usually, this dream would be the same it was six years ago, but Dean didn't mind the change. There was no distance between them anymore.</p><p>When he looked to his left, he saw Luc, floating alongside him. That was new.</p><p>A part of him wanted to ask the archangel what he was doing there, but he stopped himself. He knew the drill, this was a dream. A dream built out of a blood-loss induced fantasy he had all those years ago, the first night he got to Luc's world.</p><p>Luc was staring up at the stars, his hands folded across his chest as his head bobbed up and down in the water, his blonde hair messy, floating around his head. It was just like the Luc he said goodbye too.</p><p>Dean lifted the arm that wasn't trapped beneath Cas's unconscious embrace and pointed lazily at the sky like he had so many times before. </p><p>"Tell me about that one," he said to Luc, just as he had said it to Cas so many times.</p><p>A small, satisfied smirk grew on Luc's face as he began to speak. "You know, you're never actually pointing at a specific constellation," he pointed out.</p><p>"True," Dean agreed. "So tell me about all of them."</p><p>Luc rolled his eyes as he began to ramble off about the first constellation ever formed.</p><p>Dean reached forward to kiss Cas's head and listened to Luc speak about stars all night long, floating along the river once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THE END</p><p>We've done it! Sorry this one took so long, as you can see this is the longest chapter of the entire fic! I didn't realize exactly how much summing up needed to be accomplished in one chapter! I apologize if anything felt rushed, there was just so much build-up that I'm not sure I could have ever done the ending justice lol</p><p>Thanks for sticking with this fic! I'm not listing it as completed yet because as mentioned before, there will be one more chapter installment as I will be doing an ALTERNATE ENDING! As asked previously, I will do one more chapter in the coming weeks about what would have happened if Dean had let the six years pass for Sam and Cas as well. It will be short and mostly just extra Destiel and angst, so if that's not your thing, feel free to be finished here! </p><p>This is the longest fic I've ever done, and I'm very proud I finished it! Please comment what you liked, didn't like, any additional questions you may have about this universe I've created, or anything else you'd like to see in the alternate ending chapter!</p><p>Thanks you guys ❦</p>
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